Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Who am I....really?

If you've been reading...you would know that I am on a little Lent journey... it's kind of hard because I am not really able to fast since I am super pregnant...but I have been reading my Lent devotionals and Mom Devotional Bible.... so I have slowly been thinking and reflecting...

This week starts the count down to what will be a new and exciting journey for me..one that my Blog now wears the name...Momma of Dos.

As I sit and think..and reflect not only on the Blessings that God has continuously given me and the amount of times that He has not only shown me Love and forgiveness but also the amount of Grace, Understanding and light He has shed on me the last couple of months..I am reminded of WHO I AM.....

I want to once more share this, in hopes of creating a better more Faith filled me.....

First off I am:

Daughter of our All Mighty Lord
A Faith follower
A Holy Believer
A Jesus Freak!
I love God and His Love for me

Secondly I am:

A devoted and Faithful Wife
A devoted and Loving Mother (soon to two amazing Blessings)
A daughter/supporter to my parents
A sister/friend to my siblings
A cousin, sister in law, extended family member to my family and my husband's family
A sister in Christ/friend to my amazing friends and Women of Faith
An employee and co-worker to my job

Finally:

I am a craft-er
I am an idea spinner
I am an action taker (in my eyes..ACTIONS speak LOUDER than WORDS! Everyone can talk...but not many actually DO!)
I am a thinker
I am a believer
I am a Blogger
I am a reader
I am a knowledge and truth seeker
I am a girly girl
I am educated (GO COOGS!)
I am active
I am a doer
I am happy
I am Blessed
I am filled with joy and light
I want to SHINE
I am a Faith seeker...

With all of that said...

Who are you?

Monday, March 21, 2011

Camila Update ♥





{Pregnancy Updates}
How Far Along: 36 Weeks
Size of baby: According to my doctor, Camila is measuring about 2 more than my actual gestation. Her current ESTIMATED weight is 7lbs 13oz. Big Baby! Ha. But, I am praying that she will remain healthy and active. And that I can carry her until the 38th week, NOT MUCH LONGER LEFT! Only 1 week and 3 days…
Total Weight Gain/Loss: Gained between 10 and 11  lbs (Some weeks I lose it, not sure how! The weight not my brain…that I lose everyday…HA!)
Maternity Clothes: As of 30 weeks I was wearing my old maternity clothes { mostly jeans and pants and some shirts~} and no more regular clothes. My doctor was amazed that I was able to get away with regular clothes for that long! But I am in that place where I wear the same clothes week after week... and my shoes...well lets just say Thank God it's "spring" time in Houston..or I'd look ridiculous in flip-flops and sandals every where all the time...or maybe NOT this is Houston!
Gender: It's a girl!!! We already know this....and her name will be Camila.
Movement: She is still VERY active,Thank God, DAY AND NIGHT..I love it and feel very happy every time she karate chops me! Everyone loves staring at the belly as it moves and jumps with Camila’s movements.
Sleep: Sleep? What’s that? No really I am that point…where sleep is a wonderful luxury….even though I am not as big as I was Santi at this time …I am very uncomfortable and finding my goodnight spot is very difficult….but I manage…..
What I miss: My ENERGY for sure, my agility and the ability to bend over! As well as being able to eat like the guy from Man vs Food and not feeling like I may die or give birth! I also miss being able to blow my nose without gagging EVERY time and thinking that everything I ate the night before will end up on my shoe making me late for work...HA!
Cravings: Hmmm…. This week…. HAMBURGERS again! And Oooohhhh Enchiladas de mole...mmmmmm.... 
Symptoms: Exhausted. Inability to breath due to how big Cami is and that she is pushing all of my vital organs into my neck! In total waddle mode, lower back pain and yes...I have even started feeling contractions.....it's true. Around this time with my son I had what I like to call "contraction envy"..but not these days..now I am worried that I will go into labor at any minute..which is a bit nerve wrecking!
Best Moments so far:  My first fav moment was the day we found out we were having a girl, and now every time I go in for my weekly ultrasound they remind me that yep, she is a girl! It's so exciting every time....Also, I am not sure how much he actually knows what is going on in  my growing belly but I tell Santi to say Hi to the momma, he comes over, lifts my shirt {no matter where we are!} and kisses my belly! I love it!!!  Of course he also comes over to the belly smells it and with a wave of his hand over his face and his very distinct "stinky face" declares that momma and baby are yes..."stinky", it's HILARIOUS! My husband loves seeing my baby move around under my shirt everyday more and more..I think she is anxious to be here…we are ANXIOUS to meet her as well!!! He then yells in pain for me; "TELL HER TO STOP!"....as if I can flip a switch..HA.  
Updates about this week: This week is super prep weekDoctor is ready, I am ready…my house I pray will be ready for Cami’s arrival… overall..this week is just readinessI  had my Baby shower this weekend that was lots of fun and a TRUE BLESSING!!!!

Also, I had  contractions for about a week and half now..... that I am now slowly but surly feeling. So, we shall seeeeee.

Momma Perks: Not having to worry too much about anything really…my husband does a good job despite having to work 30+hours a week and going to school full-time..he doesn’t allow me to stress too too much… I love people coming over and helping me out with Santi while I get things done around the house..and I love that I have had so much help for my baby shower from Ricardo’s sis and cousin (Thank You Ale and Erica! I would have lost my brains without you! And had been in tears the last month or so!) ..they have really really been GREAT! :D Not to mention my regular helpers; Nanielle, her sidekick Meagan and Mrs. MaryAnn, who loves to come over and not only stress me out about when I will go into labor but also does a great job at making sure Santi and I are ok! I love that my Mother-in-Law watches Santi for me cause some nights when I pick him up she has dinner cooked and ready to share with us!

I hope that we can finally start on Camila's nursery this week!!! I HAVE SAID THAT EVEN IF IT’S NOT COMPLETE BY MARCH 30TH..I WILL NOT WORRY!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

En Español Anyone?


La semana pasada me sucedió algo muy triste....
Me falto el Español!
A mí ?
Yo crecí en una casa en donde el inglés no existía.
Mi primer idioma fue español hasta que empecé el kínder aquí en Houston fue cuando aprendí inglés. Aparte de eso cada año pasábamos todas las vacaciones largas en Reynosa con nuestra familia.
Cuando crecí y me gradué de la preparatoria tenía un orgullo muy grande de no solo se México-Americana si no de saber español mejor que muchos de mis compañeros. Empecé la universidad y uno de las ventajas más grandes que tuve para encontrar trabajo fue, el saber hablar, leer y escribir ESPAÑOL!
Por muchos años no solo obtuve trabajos por mi facilidad del idioma si no por ser Hispana. Y me enfoque mucho en trabajar con mi comunidad. Trabaje sola como Notario Público y le ayude a muchos a completar sus formas para ser residentes y ciudadanos Americanos, y también les proveí traducción de documentos. Después trabaje en Texas Children’s en donde era una de 3 quien sabia español, los pacientes me buscaban por lo mismo. Y luego con trabadora de casos de guardería en el Worksource, mis clientes más fieles eran los hispanos. En sí, siempre eh trabajado con mi gente. En mi trabajo actual también pero como para asistir en elecciones uno tiene que saber inglés, hablo un poco más ingles que español con mis trabadores electorales.
Por eso es que la semana pasada cuando llego una familia a pedir información me sentí muy apenada que no podía pensar y producir la información prudente y rápidamente que los señores me pedían.
Esto me hizo pensar en mi pasión, en mi propósito? Propósito en mi carrera y en mi vida.
Soy parte de una iglesia en donde según yo hay muchos Hispanos me encanta ir a misa y ver a “mi gente” pero me da mucha pena y tristeza el saber que según la administración de esa iglesia “no hay muchos Hispanos”. Lo que yo sé es que si lo hay, lo que sucede es que uno no participa igual que los feligreses Americanos.
Esto también me ha hecho pensar en mi pasión, y en mi propósito.  
Por eso.
Voy a empezar a escribir más en español y mantenerlos informados de mis planes para seguir mi pasión y vivir el propósito que Dios me ha sembrado en el corazón. Siento que todo esto es parte de un plan muy grande para mi en este año!
No solo voy a tener mi segundo bebe, una niña, se llamara Camila. Si no que también voy a cumplir 30 años, y yo sé que de aquí en adelante algo tiene que cambiar en mi….para realizar lo que Dios quiere en mi vida!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

18 Months of Lil'Man Love ♥

There are no words to describe what the last 18 months has given me...

but if I had to....

Peace
Faith
Hope
Happiness
Unconditional Love
Joy
Jesus
Smiles
Kisses
Hugs
Eyes
Nose
Toes
Tiny Fingers
Curly Hair
Family
Tantrums
Laughs
Blessings
Grace
Perspective
Exhaustion

Every moment...worth it.
Every experience...embracing it.
Every day...LOVING Him More and More.

Being a Mother is like nothing else in the world....

I hate to be a cliche but IT'S TRUE...
 "You think you know..BUT you really have NO idea....until you yourself become a Mother."
The Lord has Blessed me once more and I can't wait to have her in my arms and love her and enjoy her just as I have loved and enjoyed my son the last 18 months.




Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Why are we so hard on ourselves?

We try and try and try...

We do our best and think that we are doing our best...

Yet when evaluation of the self comes...we fail... to ourselves...

I have gone through 5 days of Lent season now....

catching myself...
torturing myself...
failing...myself....
defining myself...
evaluating myself....
devaluing myself...
reminding myself....
praying...for myself...

And still.. I can't seem to win this battle...against....MYSELF.

God has given me so many tools and resources, so many wonderful women of support...and still I fail... BUT then I think...I AM HUMAN...we are suppose to fail...Jesus was tempted by the devil...He never failed..but we are NOT Jesus.

Then I think, I am being  SO  hard on myself. I need to stop. I need to realize that I can do this...but ONLY with prayer and grace. With willingness and an open heart..I will be victorious. I will move forward and I will have FAITH.

That through HIM all things are possible.

Philippians 4:13 (New International Version, ©2011)

13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Seek, Resolve, and Share.

These are my 3 Lent season purposes {SEEK, RESOLVE, AND SHARE}.

As I go through this journey, I can't promise flowers and butterflies but I will say this..I am honest, open and willing.

I accept that for a while now Pride and Stubbornness have been my sidekicks. How petty? Yes. It is.

I am praying though for my hard heart to soften and open up to what the world has to say about me.

I am willing to change...a willingness that only I can bring forth....an effort that God will give me grace to endure..no matter what that change is!

I am not going to lie. I have been down this road before and failed...I have failed Him. HE HAS NEVER FAILED ME.

Again, I am honest. I want to change. I will be 30 years old this year. How ridiculous is that at 30 I can hold on to such a difficult past and think that I can move forward; whole heartily? I can't. I need to truly let go.

God is with me.

Why am I scared?

Who should I fear?

If He is with me...every step of the way...how could I think that He would let me go?

That His tight hold would loosen? Never.

He has never failed me...even though I have failed Him..many times

Today I realize how Blessed I am and how much I don't deserve it

I don't.

But, still HE manages to show me how MANY more Blessing He can give me!  

And HE and THEY are all AMAZING!

Thank You God for giving me everything this undeserving girl could wish for and then some...

I PRAISE HIM FOR....

My Faith.
My Husband.
My Son.
My Daughter.
My Mom and Dad.
My Siblings.
My Nephew.
My extended family on both my hubby's side and mine.
My Sisters-in-Christ and amazing Girlfriends.
My Home.
My Job.
My Education.
My life as a whole.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Seemingly Perfect.

It's a lie to think that we are perfect.

We are not.

At all.

I have never been one to even remotely express or act perfectly.

I am human. I make many mistakes. I've said it a millions times...my husband is not always polite, my son doesn't always match and me..I am not ever perfect!

The fact that my husband and I have decided to be and do things in certain order and with specific purpose...doesn't make us perfect. We have been through a lot the last 12 years, together and as individuals. Never loosing sight of either fact. While we were still living at home we realized that there were individual "monsters" to tame, with our respective families. We "resolved" and agreed to leave behind those issues and "monsters", behind us not only the day we moved in together, but also 8 months later when we met at the altar. It's written, and I say it to young couples all the time. Ricardo taught me after we moved in together and got married that we could no longer be slaves to those "monsters" and problems within our former families, because now we had a family of our own to nurture and care for.

Married or not, life as a live in couple doesn't work until you resolve that, that life is only about 2 people who rely on God, you and your significant other.

At first this didn't resonate or make sense with me, the way it may not make sense to you.

My mom was a "single" mom for many years; I, being the oldest took on many, many, many roles; assistant provider for my 3 younger siblings, emotional supporter to my mom, over-all make things better for my family person, acting as a friend to my mom, mom to my younger siblings, sister to my siblings,student, employee and then some. Life was not easy. I endured a lot with my mom, good and bad. It was her and I through think and thin. But, she understood the day that I moved out and more so the day that I got married that I had to be everything I was to her but for my husband now. That her problems and issues had to be handled to the best of her ability. She was not selfish and never attempted to hold me back from becoming a completely, devoted wife and now mother. She understands my role and I appreciate that respect and the space that she has given me to develop my marriage in His eyes and for His will and purpose...so that now, as a grown woman..who seeks Faith and Wisdom, I can once more be her friend while she is my mom.

I am and have always been there for my mom as she has been there for me..but just as she once left her family to seek a family of her own..I left mine. It has made me stronger and wiser and allows me new perspective to handle new situations.

Respect. Space. God. Two People. Faith. Open Heart. Obedience. Honesty. Love. It's what it takes to begin a Faith-filled, loving, devoted and committed Marriage of Two.  {I THINK}

This is all random talking. I am on a journey this Lent season to resolve, seek and share.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Plain and Simple.


God, heavenly Father,
look upon me and hear my
prayer
during this holy Season of Lent.
By the
good works You inspire,
help me to discipline my body
and to be renewed in spirit.

Without You I can do nothing.
By Your
Spirit help me to know what is right
and to be eager in doing Your will.
Teach me to find new
life through penance.
Keep me from sin, and help me live
by Your commandment of love.
God of love, bring me back to You.
Send Your
Spirit to make me strong
in
faith and active in good works.
May my
acts of penance bring me Your forgiveness,
open my heart to Your love,
and prepare me for the coming feast
of the Resurrection of Jesus.

Lord, during this Lenten Season,
nourish me with Your Word of
life
and make me one
with You in love and prayer.

Fill my heart with Your love
and keep me faithful to the Gospel of Christ.
Give me the
grace to rise above my human weakness.
Give me new
life by Your Sacraments, especially the Mass.

Father, our source of life,
I reach out with joy to grasp Your hand;
let me walk more readily in Your ways.
Guide me in Your gentle mercy,
for left to myself I cannot do Your Will.

Father of love, source of all blessings,
help me to pass from my old
life of sin
to the new
life of grace.
Prepare me for the
glory of Your Kingdom.
I ask this through our
Lord Jesus Christ, Your Son,
Who lives and reigns with You
and the Holy Spirit, one God, forever.

Amen.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Just holding on....

To God...

To life...

To me...

To my family....

To my husband....

To my son....

To my daughter....

To my Faith....

To my strength....

To my sanity....

To moments.....

To my word...

TO HIS WORD.

The good Lord never said it would be easy..but He did say...He would NEVER leave me...or forsake me...that no matter who else wasn't there for me..HE WOULD BE...He has been...I trust.

I have Faith.

I love.

Thank you to everyone who has been there the last 35 weeks... I am almost there..Camlia is almost here...
and GOD IS EVERYWHERE.

I am sooo BLESSED.
I AM SOOOO READY.
I am soooo happy!

My life has been amazing the last 29 years, 9 months and 7 days...
I CAN'T ASK FOR ANYTHING MORE!

God is with me...

HE IS SOOO GOOD.
ALL THE TIME.

Holding on to HIM!

Friday, March 4, 2011

Miss you Much....

I miss my Blog....

'Nuff said...

One day soon I will get back to all those Blog promises I made before my unexpected long Blog-cation....

Hope you MISS me too!

Be back soon....

I hope...

wait for me.....

hehehehe.