In return, I have learned a lot. These days I share my
experiences with women who attend my Blogging 101 class.
Here are some things I have learned you should and shouldn't
do!
Do-
1) Provide Support & Guidance.
Sharing contacts, advice and giving likes and comments on
social media may all seem like common courtesy for a tribe who is also doing
the same for you. Right? Well, even if you don't receive the same amount of
support, you show your support anyway. Why? Because at the end of the day you
want to do all you can to help and know that you did your best. It's probably one of our biggest rules in the
group. It’s important. VERY.
You cannot be a taker and not give back. Or not give because
you fear others will take too much. It's life. Things aren't fair. I tend to
overshare but that's just me. You have to when you have years of knowledge. I must.
I was once a new blogger and had no clue what to do. If it weren't for ladies
like Alba of
Independent Mami who ALWAYS offers great resources and is just a
giving person, I would not have made it in the blogging world.
Which at the end of the day is just as cut-throat as any
other business. **So don't be fooled. It is a serious income-providing business
for many. Competition is bound to happen.
You
just have to know when to give in.
2) Build a personal relationship with those in your tribe.
You cannot be in-it to win-it if you don't have close
personal friends in your tribe. Just like in life, you need the love and true
friendship of like-minded women, mommas, writers, creatives and entrepreneurs
who can have your back. The only way to know who does is by truly learning
about the women in your tribe-who they are, their families and what drives
them. This way you can form a true lasting connection or partnership with them.
3) Trust.
There are some levels of trust that need to be had when
dealing with new people. I understand we all have different life experiences
and our ability to trust is not as easy to some as it is to others. I trust too
much, too fast, sometimes. I trust based on feeling or vibe. With that said,
some people just click, or connect instantly and others may not. All is good
though, some instant connections might not be long-lasting and some that take
longer to connect, sometimes result in some of the best friendships or working
relationships. I think it's like this with life in general.
4) Give Credit where credit is due.
You didn't do this on your own; if you did, kudos but, more
than likely you didn't do this on your own. Had I not met certain bloggers
early on, I probably would not have made it. The set of bloggers that I met in
2012 at my first LATISM conference were pivotal. I will be forever grateful for
the role they have played in my journey. It is important to me to credit and
give shout-outs especially to those content creators who share this space with
me.
5) Be nice.
It's common courtesy, right? Being nice to people, although
we won't always agree or connect with everyone but being respectful of others,
their ideas and their content is just common sense. You don't want to burn
bridges at any point that might be helpful or a resource just because you don't
agree with others. I am not saying don't voice your opinion or be yourself.
Simply treat others how you would like to be treated. TRUST
me, I know it’s easier said than done. I am not perfect. I've rolled my eyes
when people start talking when I have strong conflicting feelings. You don't
have to get along with everyone in the blogosphere. That's normal. With that
said, just be a nice person and continuously courteous, simple rule.
And, in no way am I saying to be fake. If you do not agree
with a group or how they think and you don't think you ever will, well then
remove yourself from that situation. It's very easy. Much like in life, if it doesn’t grow you,
let it go.
Don't-
1) Make Assumptions.
Communicate. Communication is highly important with online
relationships. I would say if you don't understand something, or feel like
something needs to be cleared up, Speak up. I'm one who can personally say that
because I shut down, I have lost friendships over miscommunication. So, if you
have to call or meet in person to clear the air and talk things out, do it!
Don't assume that a certain tone or emotion is attached to words. Talk it out
and know if your feelings are being validated. Again, if the situation at the
end of the day is not what you expected, you have every right to walk away. but
give it a chance. I would suggest talking, listening, and communicating.
Again, if things are not clear, talk about it, with time and
patience.
2) Be overly-guarded of your space.
I get it. We all have insecurities and or a certain space
that we like to protect. But in this business, if you don't share and put
yourself out there, well then you won't grow. Most bloggers live and dream to
have exposure, to be well known, I know I do! That won't happen if you are
always in your own guarded and secret space. Some of us are super shy. Again,
that's life, you can't grow if you keep to yourself and never share. You must
let go of that guarded space and be yourself, people will love your open and
honest content.
3) Use People.
Of course, we all know this right. I know a lot of bloggers
in different groups complain about people who only come into their lives for a
connection or contact. And, I get it, it's not right. I think that as long as you give credit
and are respectful toward one another, sharing contacts and connections is
acceptable.
In
HLB, we want all the bloggers to grow so sharing is encouraged
and applauded. I may not know all the ladies personally but we are part of the
same community and at the end of the day I want them to grow. Their success is
HLB’s success.
You don't want to be known as the person who never shares
other bloggers’ posts, or likes, or comments but comes to the party when
opportunities are being shared. It looks bad and although HLB doesn’t have a
set rule on this, we do encounter these situations sometimes. People get upset
and don’t want to share if they feel used. So show your tribe some love.
4) Be jealous- there’s enough to go around for everyone.
It's a natural thing to be jealous or have a feeling of
being left out of something if you share too much. Don't be. I know it might
not seem like it but trust that there is enough work for everyone. We are all
content creators but our styles, perspective and experiences are vastly
different. Don't worry about there not being enough opportunities. I've learned
that the more you stay in your lane and do your own thing, the more
opportunities will come your way.
Just trust me on this one. There is always enough. Don't
worry about everyone else and what they are doing. Focus on you and you will
not have time to look around and be jealous. No need. No time.
5) Be fake.
That's all. Don't. Be yourself. People can see straight
through you if you're fake. Plus, the things that aren't true and perfect about
you will come out when people see you in person and realize that your online
life is just a front. You don't want to ruin your brand like that. We are human
not perfect or picture ready 24/7. So be real guys.