Momma of Dos: April 2010

Friday, April 30, 2010

T.GOD.It's Friday!!!!!!!

This is my son… his life has given my heart and soul hope and peace.  His smile gives me light and guides my day.

His curiosity has intrigued me and his spirit has lifted mine!

I love him with all my heart and I don't remember what life without him was like.


In 17 days our little world will be changed.....More to come.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Blogging to Blog? or for a Purpose?

Yesterday I read one of the many Blogs and Devotionals that I follow and I loved it so much it gave me an idea for a Blog.

The Blogger wrote the following:


“For me, part of becoming is sharing with others where I have been, where I am now, and where I am going on this journey to be more like Jesus. Writing has always been part of who I am, but, after I became a mom, I buried that piece of me.”

I loved this, YES; sharing with others helps me realize where I stand, what I should change and who I have become. My husband once criticized the fact that I “share”; the fact that those special moments are no longer special if the world knows about them. I thought about it and then sat back and re-thought what I write about. Often I question; when is it too much and how often should I share. A friend once joked, “Are you the “Official Facebook Blogger” now?” Yes and NO, I Blog to release, to identify, to be, to love, to express and to grow! I Blog about my Faith, my likes and dislikes, my life, my son, my job, my husband, and so many other topics. I may not get paid and at times the blog may not get read, but I love it. I Blog to be the "Official Connie’s Life Blogger"! I don’t think that there is anything wrong with that, I love God, my family and my friends. As long as one person reads and tells me that they like it, that it helps them, that it changed them, that’s all it takes…for me at least.

The Blogger then went on to write:

My desire is not to become a Christian writer...it is to become a woman of unshakable faith who writes, not for her own fame, but to bring glory to the King Eternal.”

That totally set me back and all I could think was, YES! I don’t want to preach and predict, in that way at least, I just want to Praise and be real! I hope that I am doing that, and that through my writing I can bring glory to the one who is most important, our almighty Lord!

She then went on to pose the following questions:

“Who have you been? Who are you now?


Who are you becoming? What are your passions?


And have lies and fear ever stopped you from the pursuit of those passions?”

Who have I been:


A liar

A gossip

A profane speaker

A Selfish girl

An Ungrateful child

An Unappreciative daughter

A Disloyal friend

An Unhappy person

A Jealous woman

A Bitter Employee

An Angry sister

A hypocrite

A Sinner

Who am I now:

I am someone who can’t lie but be honest enough to receive truth

A woman who can keep to herself and not speak too much about the rest

A speaker of Love

An unselfish mother and wife

A loving and understanding daughter

A consoler and counselor

A TRUE friend of Godly women

A secure and confidant woman of Faith

A content heart with the Holy spirit laid across my life

A FAITHFUL sister of Christ

Forgiven and Loved!

Who am I becoming:

Whoever the Lord wants me to be, wholeheartedly and openly receptive to His NEVER failing or ending Love!

What are my passions:

My FAITH

My Husband and Son

My family

My friends

My devotion

My life

My God

Helping others

Giving back

Being FAITH-FILLED!

Life

TRUTH!!!

And have lies and fear ever stopped you from the pursuit of those passions:

Nothing that is faced with God in your heart is stopped…. I live for Him, wait for Him and Pursue all through Him.

Philippians 4:13 (New Living Translation)

13 For I can do everything through Christ,[a] who gives me strength.

***Exerts taken from a Blog written by Angela Nazworth, Becoming Me.-- http://www.becomingme.net/

Monday, April 26, 2010

March of Dimes~ LIVE LIFE WITH PURPOSE!

First of all, I thought writing this would be easier…I mean it’s about me, how hard could that be? Well, first off I wasn’t there and relying on half stories of terribly stressed individuals recalling an even that happened 29 years ago no matter how memorable is still, well difficult. But, here we go.


I believe we all have a purpose in life. It’s a matter of when and how you fulfill that purpose that’s important. I think both are determined by our own willingness and open mindedness to see what is really important. I personally think that I should in all instances set myself aside. Never making anything that happens about me. For years now I try to “fulfill’ my purpose with service not just to my community but more importantly to my family. Giving them all of my time, attention and heart. Little by little I think that I am genuinely fulfilling the purpose that I was given at birth. A birth that was in itself a second opportunity, an opportunity to fulfill my reason for living.

My mom gave birth to me when she was 24 years old, scared, new to this country and becoming a young mom was not the only obstacle she had to overcome. After knowing what my mom has gone through and what she went through to have me I have nothing but pure admiration and respect for her. Don’t get me wrong we are Mother and Daughter and we are human, we do and have had our differences but we have never abandoned each other.

On June 29, 1981, after several excruciating hours of waiting, I was born at around 1pm.

My mom at about 26 to 28 weeks pregnant had several severe seizures which knocked her unconscious after which she was taken to the hospital to give birth to me. Almost immediately after my arrival there I was life-flighted from the small town of Navasota to the even smaller town of Brenham, Texas. At about 2lbs 14oz my father was given very low expectation that I would survive. And, given that my mother had fallen into a coma right after my delivery she couldn’t make any further decisions. I was taken to St. Jude hospital, and shortly after the doctors asked my father who they should save, if my mother or myself. My father and grandmothers all prayed to St. Jude and never doubted to answer that we should both be saved. I was very fortunate to have survived, after many prayers and an almost life changing decision on my Father's part, I lived in an incubator for about 3 months and was fed with long tubes that reach my stomach with my mom’s breast milk. I was poked and proned more than most and still have the scars on my heels. I was the first preemie baby  born in Washington County, Brenham, Texas. After several days my mom finally woke up from her coma and remembered that she was pregnant and finally that she had, had me. The entire situation was all too much for the newly immigrated young Mexican parents and every time I hear the story from my parents and knowing how small I was and how little doctors knew back then about premature births it makes me feel special.

Every year I think that I should be doing more, that I should be learning more and that I should accomplish more just because I was given a second chance to enter this world. I pray that what I do, the money I raise, the awareness I try to be a part of and the people that I encounter all allow me to fulfill my God given purpose because that’s what I was given a second chance for.

Being a new mom, stories about birth, about children, about hope and about struggles and victory all impact me in new and more meaningful way. I plan to now become more involved, be more determined and live life MORE PURPOSEFUL! For my own sake and for Santiago’s!


Thursday, April 22, 2010

Memories:

At home looking at old pictures from when Ricardo and I were single, a much younger friend of the family asks: “You don’t miss it?” By “it” she refers to going out, having fun and “partying” if you will. To which I respond; “No girl, I’d rather be at home in bed!” Not the best response but the fastest to show that, I have other things going on at this moment. And, I don’t mean that in a pompous or demeaning manner, I just mean that, that was then and this is me now. For everything there is a season and for every season there is a reason.

I like to think that because of all the problems at home in my youth I strive everyday to make my life and live my life as normal as possible. In High School, I had the best time. I was semi-worry and responsibility free. Despite all the problems at home, my friends and school life were amazing. The laughter, non-sense jokes and endless nights of having fun, eased and in some sense covered the pain that I was living through. Don’t get me wrong my life wasn’t horrible at that point, just LIFE, difficult. I just opened my eyes early on to the fact that if I didn’t LIVE my Life, I wouldn’t have one. So, I had FUN when FUN was intended and I worried when worry was intended.


After High School, I was fortunate enough to go on to College, I thought though that I would leave the small town in the valley, Mission (Alton), Texas where I grew up and come to the big city ALONE, to start over. That didn’t happen. My family lives here and with me came my immediate family. College was a time to learn and have fun. And, I lived life, as hard as it was but I also had FUN! One person that has been through it all with me and that taught me to just relax and have fun was my husband, then my boyfriend, Ricardo. With him I experience life as it should have been and again he erased and eased the at home pain. Together we traveled, we went out, we danced, we drank and we had fun! It was the best ever for 7 years we did this… I graduated college in 2005 and in 2006 Ricardo and I moved on to our next stage in life, Marriage. Leaving our "crazy" nights of awesome fun behind and moving into the world of “adulthood”.


Marriage was a QUICK eye opener to what LIFE is really about, it gave new understanding and meaning to the stresses and struggles that my parents went through. Our first year was a “rude awakening” and an awesome journey of Faith. We embraced God and decided who and what was important to us. This stage was a true life lesson. We again had fun, traveled and enjoyed our company as we “built” and “strengthened” our home and our lives and our marriage, and OUR family, composed of him and myself! After two and half years of our “single couple” life having "experienced" life we decided that a new stage would have to enter our lives, as it usually is in life, we decided to try and have a baby. We didn’t know if we could but God has BLESSED us beyond any imaginable Blessing. And, in January of 2009, 10 years after Ricardo and I started this life together, we were pregnant. Joy and NEW LIFE filled our hearts.


On September 16, 2009, as you all know, Santiago entered this world with a BANG! [In case you want to relive that day: http://gracejunkie.wordpress.com/2009/11/11/santiagos-journey/ ] LOL. And, here we are almost 8 months later in this NEW stage in our lives. So, back to the question; Do I miss “it”? No. Not at all.[with a HUGE smile on my face.] We all live life in stages, we all make of our lives what we want, and in my life difficult or not I lived it, had fun and have NO regrets! I pray that despite my mistakes I never did anything to shame myself or anyone else and that I strive to always display respect for myself, others, and for my beliefs and morals. And, as my mom would say: “You’ll see when you get older..how WRONG you are about life and those people in it…” We all have to live and learn from our mistakes.


My advice to young girls; Be aware, have fun and above respect who you are, what you want and who you want to become. Life is yours only for living. God will determine the rest. Life is hard, it’s never easy. I hope that I haven’t made it seem like my life was perfectly lived out and that I have a happily ever after ending…life is not like that….Thank God. Because without all of my difficult situations in life I probably wouldn’t have made all of my decisions the way I did. Had I lived an easy and carefree life..I may not have been where I am today. In the end…our lives are already planned out we just have to have Faith and enjoy.


To Stanessa; Not that you were still thinking about it…LOL…But I hope this clears up my answer. And in the words of Paco…”Been there done that!”…It used to annoy me and now…I say it ALL the time! :D If all else fails; Picture Big Ricardo in his short shorts!! :D

Partners in Crime...New Orleans,LA 2007 :D

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Focused.

Funny how I can quickly become that person that I don't want to be. I have been feeling so "ugh" for lack of better words. Thankfully I have a friend in my life right now who can just snap me out of it. I am done moping around. DONE!  

No one will be cured from my hopelessness, no one will think differently of me from my self-pity party and NO ONE, NO ONE will benefit from me dwelling on the negative.

Those of you who know me, know that THAT is NOT me. I don't like being sad or worried. I can't fix others situations by thinking that mine is not good. Life is about to get better, God is about to move forward in our lives and I just have to gain focus and be determined to succeed the next 3 months. God has brought me to this place. I declare it today that the RUT of BLAH ends and the SHINE will STORM THROUGH!!!!!!!!!! GOD IS GOOOOOOOOD!  

I will be in that place, a place where loneliness will fill my heart but Faith will cover my life!

I have to work on a to do list?! lol. :D

This is my anthem this summer (BUYING THE ALBUM TODAY!):

Three in the morning,
And I'm still awake,
So I picked up a pen and a page,
And I started writing,
Just what I'd say,
If we were face to face,
I'd tell you just what you mean to me,
I'd tell you these simple truths,

Be strong in the Lord and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
These are the words I would say,

Last time we spoke,
You said you were hurting,
And I felt your pain in my heart,
I want to tell you,
That I keep on praying,
Love will find you where you are,
I know cause I've already been there,
So please hear these simple truths,


Be strong in the Lord and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
These are the words I would say,

From one simple life to another,
I will say,

Come find peace in the Father,
Be strong in the Lord and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
Thank God for each day,
His love will find a way,
These are the words I would say

Ricardo's warrior face...IT'S ON!!!!

Friday, April 16, 2010

Santi Update: Month 7

Emotions:
7 months ago today....

Santiago Happened!





Today….

He Happens EVERYDAY! And we are  SO Blessed!





My monthly baby news letter described the 7 month old as: “A Mover. A Shaker. A Mischievous Mess-Maker.” This couldn’t be so much truer!

My son has not only become extremely mobile but agile and fast as well! He will start in front of me while I am changing his diaper and end up on the other side of the bed in a blink of an eye playing with the bed railing! It fascinates him as does most anything at this point in his life. His fast little feet are also taking him everywhere in our house. Keeping me alert and aware not to mention, ON MY FFET. He is not only truly enjoying the world the way God intended but also discovering a new world everyday!

It is also more than evident that Santiago thinks and knows that we are here to entertain and amuse him. He seems bored and gets very upset or fussy if his world is not being literally rocked! He loves to play games; like Peek-a-Boo and watch mom and dad act a fool so we can all giggle and have fun. He is more than a Blessing and more than anything we could have ever dreamed of or hoped for.

After a long day at work after he’s been at his grandmother’s home or with his daddy..he’s not ready to give mom some down time and let me close my eyes for 15 minutes, swear that these days THAT’S ALL I NEED, no ma’m or sir…he is ready to PARTY LIKE A ROCK STAR! And you may think you know, BUT SERIOUSLY…YOU HAVE NO IDEA! HA.

This child has been BLESSED with so much energy and movement that he has become quicker than need be. He is now attempting to not only pull himself up on the side rails of his crib but also pull down and out anything that is in his reach while in his walker. Can you say Baby Proof!? It’s something that you seriously don’t think about when they are born,  “BABY PROOF?”, “HE CAN’T EVEN BURP ON HIS OWN!” But oh does the time fly, and here we are 7 months later and the house…is still NOT "baby proof" well it’s either act like our parents and just yank your finger out of the outlet and traumatize you for life or act quickly and “baby safe” it all. I say a little bit from column A and little bit from column B! Hey we survived, didn’t we?! Ha.

Last month I went to a KSBJ’s G.N.O. and one of the speakers was Anita Renfro, aside from being absolutely hilarious she is REAL! She spoke about how as new mothers we think we are “the ONE”, referring to, us thinking that we will be the perfect mother, never yelling and always responding to your child in full sentences. At only 7 months, that feeling is gone… not saying Santiago is a bad baby...He’s NOT, he is perfect! But, the mix of exhaustion and responsibility can easily take over you. Trust me you work on it day to day! I love my child and pray for patience everyday! I need it just to keep sane!

He now enjoys long walks in the afternoon, dinner, his bath and then bedtime routine. He needs it. The structure really does make a difference. I am more than in Love and can't help but Thank God day in and day out.....

Today I write this blog with a heavy heart as I read another Mommy Blog that I follow and found out of their loss of a beautiful baby girl at only 5 months, something that is beyond my understanding, it breaks my heart and reminds me of HOW BLESSED I TRULY AM!!! My heart and prayers are with that family......


Highlights:

• He had his second, third and fourth fall! Did we forget he’s A BOY!

• He sitting completely unassisted.

• He is attempting to pull himself up to standing position in his crib and playpen.

• He is opening cabinets and trying to pull stuff in his reach to the floor while in his walker.

• He LOVES being outdoors.

• He is starting to feel that stranger and lonely anxiety.

• He is starting to cry when mom or dad walk away.

• He is lifting his arms to be picked up.

• He LOVES to dance.

• He started eating blended meats and beans, black beans, “picadillo” to be exact!

HE WAVES BUH-BYE!!!! It’s the craziest and most adorable thing ever!

• He is learning to feed himself with his little Gerber Finger foods..the scariest yet best things ever!

Discoveries:

• That he has mommy wrapped around his finger.

• That he is scared of loud noises, but who isn’t?

• That if he cries people will do the IMPOSSIBLE to get him to laugh!

• That he looooves his banana puffs!

Challenges:

Mommy-

• Organization

• Time management

• Leaving Santi to do Volunteer work

• Going to church with a 7 month old without there being chaos.

• Leaving Santi to go to work every day, it's still a difficult process....

• Going to a Restaurant with a 7 month old without there being PURE chaos.

• Finding time to exercise.

Baby-

• Anxiety

• Getting to bed in time

• Only being able to restfully sleep in mom and dad’s bed! Even if that means mom and dad get kicked,    pushed and drooled on throughout the night! Ha. Oh the wonderful things about being a parent!

• Getting him to sleep in his crib!

• Allergies VS Reflux…the ailments begin! He has had a constant congestion and this month the Pedi recommended a specialist..so I did what every former TCH mom does…I called the wonderful nurses at TCH ENT….who suggested a million and one things and oh did mention… sleeping in his own crib…it helps! :D I am still waiting to try these things…


Height: 26 inches

Weight: 21 lbs.

Next doctor’s visit: on June 29th for his NINE MONTH check up.


What to look forward to:

• We still have a pending Photo Shoot so I can’t wait to compare photos from when he was 6 weeks to now.

• Crawfish season and his “Crawfish” outfit, still have not worn it out of the house!

• Maybe some crawling.

• Maybe some standing!

• His First steps!!!!!

• His FIRST words!!!!!!!

• His Baptism.

Monday, April 12, 2010

M.I.A.

Hello All,

I am sure that you miss me by now..bwa-hahahaha!

I have been M.I.A.... Just working on me. Thinking about it all. WAITING on GOD.

Waiting...waiting...and waiting....

I have a Chunk update due this week because guess what.... HE WILL BE 7 MONTHS this WEEK!

ME, I am just here..lots is happening..but I just haven't found the "uhmpf" to get it across...but soon, many updates soon... I hope. :D

In the mean time..I am on my email, Twitter and for now kinda sotra Facebook.

BE BACK SOON...UNDER CONSTRUCTION... OR RE-CONSTRUCTIOIN! :D

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Parents Anniversary –April 10, 1981

29 years ago my parents vowed not to gauche each other’s eyes out and to always be there for one another. 29 years later…they’ve semi-accomplished that, but truth is Marriage is difficult. It’s about two people who “think” they know each other, coming together to form a life together! And, oh boy, is MTV so right, YOU THINK YOU KNOW….BUT YOU HAVE NO IDEA!

In Genesis 2:24, it states.. 24 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Simple as it may sound it’s probably the most difficult concept I have had to bare.


My parents have been through it ALL. They have risen for the depths of despair to victory. Be it as it may, their marriage has withstood it all. And, as I look at my siblings and seek that same determination I am more than satisfied that dysfunctional or not, my family has proven above all, commitment. Commitment to overcome and breakthrough “el que diran”, in the end, it’s about Love, whether it’s of others, of your children, or even of yourself, commitment shines.


I don’t have a fairy tale story about my parents, and at times the memories are not that great but my parents as individuals suffered a lot. My mom grew up poor, mostly raised her 5 siblings, one with Cerebral Palsy and probably put up with more as a child than she has or would have ever needed to. My mom is a strong and determined person because she grew up without a father and with an irresponsible mother. That’s life; we all have a cross to bear. My father grew up too fast and eventually gave in to drinking and smoking at a young age, he worked so that his younger siblings could have an education and more than likely because he wanted to and didn’t know what to do with his life. A lost soul he found my mother, against all odds and my mother’s uncle, who raised her, they got married. My dad was the “bad boy” and my mom the “damsel in distress”.

They met in 1981 in Reynosa, Tamaulipas and married the same year, I was also born the same year, you do the math. Ultimately they came to the U.S., had 4 children and have now seen them evolve, succeed and form their own families, that’s LIFE. You live and you learn. I am by no means trying to call out my family or be rude and disrespectful but I am real. I know what it takes to survive in the real world and I know how hard life can be. I have no secrets, well we all do but I have none that would cause shame and I have no regrets, my family has been through VERY difficult times, those of you who know me….know of those times well. And yet, here I am writing about my parents and their “love”. Why? Number one they have been married for 29 years and at this point despite the countless threats of a divorce, I know they will be married the rest of their lives, bickering and shushing each other. BUT THAT’S NOT HOW MARRIAGE IS SUPPOSE TO BE….BUT…THAT’S LIFE….and at times…THAT’S THE ONLY WAY A MARRIAGE CAN “BE”. Sad? Nah. My parents don’t mind it at all and not all married couples have the perfect cookie cutter marriage… heck some are still trying to figure out why they got married as Tyler Perry would insist.


Gosh Connie this is your worse ever….


The thing is all that I have learned about marriage and commitment is picked up from others telling me…don’t make the same mistake I made, for you I want this… and I have listened. My mom taught me to fight, to withstand and to respect but she also taught me to Love, to commit and to be loyal. My dad a bit more, rough around the edges taught me to just do it! Ha. Take chances and apologize later… Their mistakes, their differences, their lives have made me who I am and I love them for that. Without the difficulties that they have lived I don’t think I would have succeeded or thrived as much as I have as a PERSON. Don’t get me wrong, AGAIN, I am in no way judging or being disrespectful, I think we all have these people in our lives. It’s how we use their good and bad examples in our lives that give that respect and honor to who they are! In the end, it’s love it or leave it and THAT is life. No one has forced my parents to be together they have chosen to be together and for that I love them and respect them. No person is perfect and no marriage is perfect, it’s living and loving those imperfections on a day to day basis that somehow makes the world spin!





To them I say:


Feliz Aniversario!

Next year, 30 years…and that’s for me too!

Familia Leon(Grawr!)
( Family Picture from my UH graduation in 2005)


"We may not have it all together but together we have it ALL!"--