Momma of Dos

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

::Being a Chingona has no age:: What I am teaching my daughter about being a badass + Sew Bonita review!

::Momma of Dos:: All opinions and statements are my own, items in posts have been provided by in order to provide a review. 

Growing up my Momma instilled in us; hard work, a good education and oh yeah being a complete and total bad-ass or Chingona. I grew up knowing that this word was something to be reckoned with. And, it was used often in our home as a sarcastic view on something we had done that we thought we could get away with, like "ah, que chingona me saliste!" HA. HA. HA. My Momma was not one to hide her feelings, she has always been outspoken, strong and independent. We were not taught to be meek or hold back, we were taught to be ourselves, and others had to take it or leave it. Flash forward to 35 years of life, marriage, a college degree, a career and Dos littles. Chingona? 

For sure. 

I had a recent conversation with Elena of Sew Bonita, and it inspired today's post. Completely. We both had very similar views on being a Chingona and where we get our inspiration from...our Momma's. 

What and how am I teaching my 5-year-old to be a Chingona?!  Let's begin. 

1) ::She is Encouraged to be Herself:: I tell Camila that it's ok to be herself. She is a spunky, bright, and very happy child. She loves everyone and isn't scared to be herself. She talks. A lot. Like me. She has always been unique and specific in the way she dresses. She isn't scared to stand out. I encourage this. Because she should be allowed to be herself in a world filled with so many people trying to be like everyone else. She steps outside everyone's comfort zone, especially mine and I have learned to embrace it and let her be. 

2) ::She speaks her mind::  Camila, like many children, is outspoken and truthful. And, although those truths are sometimes embarrassing and painfully true, we encourage it. I want her to always tell others how she feels and what she thinks is right for her. To be bold and speak her mind the way everyone should! Sin pelos en la lengua, and oh trust me this little girl will speak her mind. No matter who you are or where she is. It's scary but freeing as a parent to know that she will one day be able to stand up for herself. 

3) ::No Fear:: I am teaching Camila, that although as a parent, there are many things that frighten me she shouldn't be scared. She should try new things, be adventurous and never give up!  I know there are fears in many aspects of life and sometimes you just have to follow those gut feelings and do those things that scare us. At the end of the day once we have conquered our fears we realize that the only thing standing in the way was our own self-doubt and not really fear.  

4) ::Be Fierce:: I am teaching Camila that it's OK to be girly and strong, and smart and hard working. Being these things come without an age requirement. She can be fierce and stand her ground even at 5 years old. Her presence is known and she makes it known. Like a true Chingona, she lets people know she has arrived, SO MOVE. I love that about her. She sometimes claims to be shy but I quickly encourage her to be herself to stand out from the crowd and lead.

5) ::To be a Leader, even if that means you stand alone:: One thing that always bothers Camila is not having "friends", early on I taught her that she can do anything she wants, even if that means doing it alone. She won't always have friends and with growth and doing great things comes a certain level of "loner status", and that's OK. Camila knows that even although some days its a hard concept for her to grasp. I have had her come home from school and say, "Mom, today I played on the swings all my self and it was fun!" or "Mom, -so&so- said they didn't want to be my friend and I said, good, I don't care." Because in this world she will have to learn that some times no company is better than bad company. 

And, still, Camila is only 5 years old, although she has a long way to go she is still a fun love-able little girl who is slowly forming her own attitude and perception of being a Chingona. I hope to constantly influence her in the right direction! 

About our "Frida is my Homegirl" t-shirt: Special thanks to Elena of Sew Bonita for providing this t-shirt and inspiring this post and mini-photo shoot! You can see all of her latest creations and collections HERE. Also, the t-shirt has very soft and comfortable material, it's in a small and the print is just uber inspiring. We love Frida Khalo in our house, she is the official Mexican Chingona and we are so proud to wear items with her on them and love what she stands for and represents. All of Elena's collections are very telling of being a Chingona in 2016 and I am proud to have collaborated with her.

Come back later in the week to get to know Elena and an exclusive on her connection to the late Selena


Friday, September 16, 2016

::HallYu Cosmetics:: Intro to Korean Beauty Products

Most my post these days begin with "so I turned 35" and it's not because I want to bug anyone or remind people how old I am. The reason is, that 35 unlike 20, 25, & 30, 35 has felt diffident. A little more "laissez-faire" if you will but very focused. I just really want to change certain things about me and my habits, if you read my list of things I plan on doing more  , one  of those items was taking care of my skin.

I have always had several skin issues, numerous prescribed medications and small cosmetic procedures to eliminate acne. At 35 I want to be as natural as possible about my skin and it's healing if you will. I don't want to rely on medication and I know that the foods I eat and drinking more water both have high effects on this. I have started to drink more water, the food, though... let's get back to that later. 

And, just like most things a new collaboration opportunity came up just as I planned to create a new skin regime for myself. Enter HallYu Cosmetics into my life. I am very thankful because they have created a new awareness in me of the importance of regime and taking care of my skin. If you have never heard of them or visited their shop, I highly recommend you do both.

::Welcome to HallYu Cosmetics::
12168 Bellaire Blvd Suite 178, Houston, TX 77072 
(281) 741-7923
"HallYu (한류) is defined as wave of Korean influence spreading globally attributed to the popularity of Korean entertainment and music. Now Korean beauty products are entering the same recognition and popularity by offering amazing, fun products at remarkably reasonable price points. This is where HallYu Cosmetics enters the story........... We as a company strive to bring entire product lines and selectively chosen niche brands directly from South Korea."

The amount of energy and research that has gone into Korean cosmetics and beauty products is evident from the moment you walk in their shop. From the sleek and very clean environment of the shop to the extensive line of products. Everything is just perfect.  Now, for those fashion, beauty, and make-up expert who are obviously knowledgeable about this, none of it may come to you as a surprise. But, for myself, someone who knows, little to nothing about beauty this new world of skin care and products has opened up my eyes to all the wonderful options out there.

I am a full-time outside the home employee, a Momma of two very busy and active children, and a wife/homemaker. My schedule usually runs very tight from as early as 5:30 am (depending on what level of professional I have to look that day) until about midnight or later when my day finally comes to an end. I am also almost always on a very strict budget filled with house and car notes, bills, daycare payments, food and everything in-between. What does this mean? I have very little time and limited resources. When I told Anton, one of the partners at HallYu, that I needed a regimen that was fast, easy and inexpensive; he quickly put his thinking hat on and created one that was perfect for me.

He explained that Korean beauty involves very details steps and that for the most part, the cost has no limit. But, he was also very understanding of who I am and his knowledge catered to my needs as a busy Momma who still wants to look good and improve skin conditions at an inexpensive cost. Because we live in Texas and the weather has many effects on my skin, I also have that factor against me.  But, again the shop is created to cater to all needs, skin type and wallet size which is perfect!

Come back next week when I will explain and share what Anton recommended and how much I am loving it! 

In the mean time visit them online and social media: 

ENTER : mommaofdos 
at checkout for a 20% discount off your first purchase. 
Or in person at their shop:
12168 Bellaire Blvd Suite 178, Houston, TX 77072 
(281) 741-7923

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

::Five Self-Care Tips for Mothers Working Outside The Home:: by Guest Blogger Eliza Boquin MA, LMFTA-Relationship Therapist

Five Self-Care Tips for Mothers Working Outside The Home

Through the blur, I wondered if I was alone or if other parents felt the same way I did - that everything involving our children was painful in some way. The emotions, whether they were joy, sorrow, love or pride, were so deep and sharp that in the end they left you raw, exposed and yes, in pain. The human heart was not designed to beat outside the human body and yet, each child represented just that - a parent's heart bared, beating forever outside its chest.” 

Motherhood--the toughest job on the planet.  A job where you invest all of who you are—hopes, dreams, and fears.  The rewards often come in the form of smiling faces, neck hugs, and declarations of Mommy, you’re the best!” 

But it’s not always this warm and lovely. 

There are often days less lovely; days that leave us questioning whether we’re cut out for motherhood, where we wonder if we’re scarring our children for life (yes, even therapist moms question themselves).  Those are the days we’re certain that we not only have to save for our children’s college tuition, but also their future therapy.

Trust me.  We all have days like this.

Motherhood requires every molecule of your being and every fiber of your energy. Mothers know this.  Yet, mothers are notorious for neglecting their own needs.  They master the art of caretaking and nurturing…others, but often neglect caring for and nurturing themselves. 

Why is it so easy to neglect ourselves?

The challenge for many mothers is to fight against the idea that caring for ourselves is selfish.  The fear that cultivating a routine where our needs are at the forefront will make us “less motherly.” 

How would our lives change if we allowed mothers to live by the belief that caring for ourselves first and foremost is one of the most loving things we can do for the people we love?

What if prioritizing your needs makes you a better mother/wife/girlfriend/sister/woman/human? 

What if prioritizing yourself meant you had MORE to give?

I know.  Lovely idea, isn’t it?

You’re probably saying, “Yeah, right, Lady! How am I supposed to find “me time” between work, the kids schedules, my partner’s schedule?” 

Look, I’m not saying this is going to be easy.  You’re going to be pushing against an avalanche of conflicting emotions, disgruntled children, maybe even disgruntled partners as you begin to change the script up on everyone.  You’ll be fighting against judgmental people who will raise their eyebrows at you and leave you wondering if you truly are being selfish?

But there is a difference between self-care and being selfish.  And if you begin to practice the divine art of self-care then the people you want to care for most will be receiving the best version of you. 

So hang in there and let me guide you on how to establish these new habits.

Here are 5 Self-Care Tips for Mothers Working Outside The Home:

1.      Make Yourself a Priority.
If I were to ask you to make a list all the important people in your life, would I find your name on it?  The most common issue I hear from mothers is struggling with the guilt of doing something for themselves. 

Many mothers who work outside of the home feel particularly guilty spending their time away from work doing anything that is not family-related.  They rationalize that they spend (x) number of hours at the office and couldn’t possibly take more time away from their home life. Yet when we fail to care for our mind, body, spirit we quickly become depleted, irritable, and sometimes even ill. 

You are the cup that is used to fill everyone else’s.  What happens when you don’t refill your cup?  That’s right.  You’re left empty. 

The saying, “If Mama ain’t happy nobody’s happy,” rings true for a reason!      

2.      Identify Your Needs.
I often ask distressed clients, “What do you need?”  That question often causes people to take a long pause.  They have either never been asked or never taken the time to identify their needs. 

When our life consists of serving and meeting the needs of others it can be easy to lose touch with our needs/wants/desires which, ultimately, go unmet.  This can lead to stress, anxiety, depression, exhaustion.  You must be aware of your needs.

You can begin to cultivate deeper self-awareness by practicing yoga, meditation, mindfulness, or journaling, to name a few.  Check in with yourself regularly throughout the day.  Notice what you’re feeling in your body—is there tension anywhere? Do you notice any dull or aching sensations? Are you tired? Hungry? What do you need?
3.      Ask For What You Need.
Once you’ve identified what you need you must be willing to ASK for what you need.  Time and time again I hear mothers say that they want the people in their lives to “just help.”   With great frustration they will insist that those who love them “should know by now” what to do. 

Maybe.  Maybe not. 

People are often caught up in their own worlds and busy trying to figure out how to get their own needs met.  They may not even notice that you’re struggling especially if you’ve designed a life where you are the beloved Superwoman. 

You have to be able to ask for what you need—to get your own needs met.

Asking someone for help is not a sign of weakness nor is it an automatic indication that the relationship is flawed.  Your loved ones may not intuitively know what you need, but you may find them willing to help once they know what to do. 
4.      Set Aside 30 Minutes of “Me Time” Every Day. 
If you’ve made it this far down the list without cursing me or laughing hysterically at my suggestions, I applaud you! 

Stay with me on this next one. 

Yes, I encourage all mothers, including working mothers, to find 30 minutes every day dedicated solely and completely to refilling their cup!  Those 30 minutes can be used for cardio, bubble baths, reading a book for leisure—any activity that is dedicated to you

Don’t be discouraged if you can’t find 30 minutes.  Ask yourself, how much time CAN you gift yourself? 15 minutes? 5 minutes?

The goal is to get you into the habit of setting aside time for yourself on a regular basis.  If the guilt sets in remind yourself that you are making time to care for the mother of your children. 

5.      Make Time for For Your Tribe.
If we are going to get through this Motherhood Journey, then we will need a strong tribe there to support us and to witness our highs/lows.  Often finding the time, energy for people outside of our home can be an even greater challenge than finding time for a bubble bath.  Yet humans are wired for connection and having people that we can spend time with, who leave us feeling seen, heard, and restored is essential.

Find time at least once a month where you gather with your beloved tribe.  Go to dinner, have coffee, book a spa date and converse, share, cry, laugh—restore your soul!

This also models for your children the importance of nurturing relationships.

Listen, I get it.  This is tough.  I didn’t say it would be easy, I said it was essential to ensuring your health—mind, body, spirit.

The role of motherhood is sacred.  It is a gift.  It is a calling.  It will require you to invest 100% of you.  It will be the most vulnerable role you find yourself in and none of it will be easy.  This immense responsibility and the energy that it requires begs for you to care for yourself. 
Motherhood is a marathon, not a sprint. A race which you must be tending to yourself every step of the way.

Take good care of yourself, so that you will be able to care for those who need you most.

You can find Eliza online: