Monday, August 26, 2019

What am I going to tell my Son about love.....

I wrote about what I want my daughter to know about love immediately people asked me about my son. I wrote hers first because she’s constantly asking me about what’s going on with my relationship with her Dad, why I’m not coming back home to live with them and what’s going to happen from now on. But of course, I have my son on my mind too and had to think about it a little bit more because hers came very natural to me. But, here it is what I want my son to know about love.....

I want him to know that he too should learn to love himself first. To be focused on who he wants to become. But, not overly selfish that he misses out on a good partner. That he should learn to be independent and self-sufficient just as much as his Sister. That he doesn’t need a woman/partner to validate who he is or his masculinity. That he can be whole and complete all on his own but to remain sensitive and honest about his feelings. To know that while being strong and free he can also find someone who can help compliment his strengths and self-worth but that he shouldn’t feel he needs someone to become these things. That he shouldn’t allow women to step all over him or crush his soul but that he also shouldn’t do the same to them. That he should be upfront with himself in what he really needs and wants in a partner before he commits in any relationship. I want him to know that I love him and always will. That he’s been my rock for so many years, that because of his love in my heart, I have overcome many difficult days. I want him to know that he’s allowed to cry and be sad over the loss of a love but that he shouldn’t allow it to consume him. That he is strong and capable of so much, that he can be his lovey-dovey self with his big mushy teddy bear heart but to know that without self-love, he can get lost in something that isn’t worthy of him.

He should know that he should look for mutual respect and support. That love is great when both people give each other space and time to grow. That being a provider is great but true support comes in actions, and that being emotionally and mentally supportive is necessary. That love is creating a partnership where both people have their needs met, and that love is what we make of it. The effort and actions that we put in motion more than all the words we can speak. When he loves someone he will need that person to be as strong, independent and as self-sufficient as him. You can't be whole if you don't know who you are. Being supportive is not just about being there for the thoughts and ideas, you need to help around the house, help with your children, be just as involved as your partner is at all levels. Be proactive. Be as motivated, inspired and as energetic as your partner. If that's not there then something will always be missing or lacking. You can learn to be with someone but if it's not naturally in you, you will lose.

Feeling loved is about feeling free and not feeling as if who you are, what you do, or what you say will offend, hurt or disrespect your partner. You should be free to be you and be accepted as such.

Plus he has this Sister who reminds him constantly of how a lady should be treated.....

Wednesday, July 24, 2019

What am I going to tell my Daughter about love.....

What am I going to tell my Daughter about love now that I have "failed" at it? 

Sometimes I think back at the last year and just wish that I had that one piece of advice from my mom that would answer all my questions. It still hasn’t come. And, I’m not sure it ever will. And, it’s ok. But, I need to ask myself what I’m going to tell my daughter about love and relationships, marriage, self-love, growing-up and being your own lunch date.

I want her to know that her true love should be herself. That she should love and accept herself above all else. She shouldn’t expect anybody or "someone" to fill those gaps or those empty spaces. She should want to be her own lunch date every day. She should grow mentally, spiritually and emotionally every day on her own. She doesn’t need anyone’s approval or to approve of her. She should know that love is great but only when you know that it should be mutual, supportive and freeing. 

She doesn’t need a knight in shining armor to come and save her, she should have already saved herself. She should be brave and strong and know that sometimes love isn't immediate or automatic. She should be patient but know when to move on and move forward. Love, as much as you'd like it to be, isn't easy, it’s a complicated feeling and not everybody will be able to see her true value and worth. I don’t want her to look for love or think that she has to wait for it I want her to go about her life and know that love will find her.  When the time is right.... 

I want her to be independent and her own person. Much like she is now. I want her to be herself. Never having to worry about or having to apologize for who she is. Always embracing her unique features and ways, her beauty and her intelligence. Always being herself no matter how "extra" and out there she is, she is who she is, and no one can change her. 

I want her to know that love can change and evolve. I want her to know that I didn’t really fail at love because I have known love in so many forms and most importantly because I have her and her brother who both came from a place of love and I know what love can be. I haven't failed at love because I have been loved and have loved. I haven't failed at love because I have learned to love myself more and more these days. 

I don't ever want her to apologize for knowing what she wants and being strong-willed. I want her to know that she can have what she wants, not only because she's stubborn but persistent. My daughter is already becoming this strong independent girl, I want to fuel all of these feelings constantly.

I want her to know that "failing" at love is also acceptable. No one is perfect. It's not required and life goes on. 

I am going to tell my Daughter that love is within her and that even when you don't have anyone to love, life goes on because loving ourselves is always the best option. I want to tell her that love is amazing and she should strive to be the most loving even in the absence of love from the outside world.   

I want to tell her that she is love and that I love her.... that's what I will tell her about love... 

She is writing her own love story and that's all that matters. 

Friday, June 21, 2019

::Women in Leadership::

Being a Woman is serious business these days. The expectations and "bar" have been raised more than ever before. We have to be strong for our families and relationships. We have to be bad-ass examples for the women around us. We have to be inspirational and amazing as the women before us. We have to be sensitive but assertive. We are criticized for everything and every scrutiny is visible. We have to be humble and let things go. And, we have to be stone cold and easy going.  Once you become a leader there are constant check-list of goals that we need to achieve and do to be successful. And, guess what you are human too. You get tired, your feelings get hurt and you become overwhelmed. Find women who "have it all together" but really don't. Is so refreshing to me.  Knowing that I am not the only one who fails at life daily, and who doesn't always win, because we are human and "stuff" happens. That's where my motivation comes from and where real success happens. 

I attend many conferences and event that recognize and present awards to local women in leadership who have changed the face of their industry or paved the way for women within industries that are sometimes "male-dominated".  Their stories are always encouraging and definitely add value, life and energy to the other women in the room. They share the struggles they had to overcome, never giving up and moving forward in spite of the dispositions. As women, they pushed through their circumstances and constantly have risen above the nay-sayers. None of them ever suggest that their success has come easy. Surely we can learn from their examples but I don't think they are ever expecting to be one day recognized for simply doing their jobs and working towards success. The women are always humble and so deserving of the recognition and accolades to their accomplishments.

One of the speakers I remember is Dr. Virginia Parras (not pictured here) from a Women's event with Ford last year; she spoke about growing up with a father, "who thought the woman's place was in the home... except for her...she'd be different." The recollection of her experiences though they have come with many obstacles were lighthearted and filled with bravery. She stood up for herself, overcame a "man's world" in my areas of her life and obtained a higher education along the way.  She told a story about her first experience in the US as a young trick-or-treater scared to ring on the doorbells of strangers home to collect candy. What would happen? What would she achieve? Once she did it the first time and received candy, and then another and another, she realized; one, America isn't so bad and two simply "ring the bell" to reveal what's on the other side. It became the motto of her life. As women, we should simply "ring the bell", take the risks and leap forward!

If we just seek out that opportunity awaiting us on the other side, we might just reveal the talents we have within. 

Virginia rang many bells and figured out her true strengths, value and talents she held with every new door that opened. Her story is a motivating one for young career driven women who just want to reach their goals an potentials.  Along the way she faced many adversaries as most Latina women do, but she knew that regardless of what anyone thought, she had already crossed the threshold of so many doors, that nothing could stop her.

While following the footsteps of great women like Virginia can be intimidating we should use that energy to seek our strength and propel forward in the most unimaginable ways!

The generations to come are waiting for us. 

Let's be women of courage and bravery so that leadership can excel amongst us!

Thursday, June 20, 2019

::10 ways to Create a Positive, Engaging Social Media Tribe::

As someone who has been in the social media/blogging industry for over 10 years now, I've seen many groups come and go. I've had many relationships come and go. I've learned a lot from every experience and instance. And, like with life, you cannot allow these experiences to define who you are and what your goals should be. Maintaining a positive and engaged social media tribe has a lot to do with being consistent, knowing that you will fail but getting yourself right back up again and moving forward. 

1) Connect offline-  It's all fun and games until you have to meet in person. It can be a scary thing but honestly most relationships no matter how much you feel you know someone, only grow when you meet them in person. Being virtual friends can be amazing and you might not be able to meet everyone in person, but some of our strongest bonds are created when we can connect offline and talk about something other than social media and blogging.

2) Reciprocate- If people follow you, follow them back. If people like your posts, like their posts back. If people share your content, share theirs as well. Its common sense and common courtesy. You would think that right? But, that's not always the case. What do I say, do it anyway! If people can't or don't see that you are being a supporter of their work then you don't have to be "friends" but you shouldn't do these things if you aren't truly genuine about it. I've over the years learned to share everyone's content. Especially those who support me. It's become more of a takers'land than a giver... become a giver.  Especially if people have good content. 

3) Reach out and Be Yourself- It's so easy to get caught up in who you want to be online versus who you really are. Who you are online should reflect your brand but your brand should be true to who you are. It's hard and things can get complicated. Just know that no one is perfect and we are all trying to make things work. As they say, everyone is losing their shit, just some people hide it better than others. This is funny but true. No matter how well put-together someone may appear on social media, we don't know what others are going through. Be yourself, be kind and reach out to see how people are doing. 

4) Be positive but Real- It's not easy to share happy positive posts every day. And, let's be honest, some days are crap and we don't feel happy or positive. Post on days when things are good and post on days when things are bad, but post the positive, light-hearted, problem-solving side of it. And, not just the problem. Trust me I go on rants all the time and keep it as real as it comes, but most people don't want to always hear the bad side of your story. I like knowing that yes, it's a bad day but I made it through. Or, yes, something not-so-fun happened today but guess what, I survived. If you can put a good, positive spin on posts it's always better. 

5) Encourage each other- This is highly important,  as you never know what others are going through or how your words may impact them. When I started blogging I was a new momma suffering from pregnancy and post-partum depression. The more I shared my feelings, thoughts, and words, the more I realized that there were so many of us out there and that we weren't telling each other about it all. This helped me seek professional help and get through some of the toughest moments of motherhood. All it took was a few other moms telling me I could do it! So, share the encouraging posts and words, someone out there needs it. 

6) Help one another- We all started at zero.  That alone should be your motivation to help others. So, once you have some knowledge why not help one another? It's a simple notion that sometimes many don't (can't?) grasp. I understand that you, we, have all worked hard to be where we are. I get it, no one helped you. But, honestly, what goes around comes around. Whether you believe it or not, being a decent person pays off. Supporting each other climb those mountains and look over into the horizon, should be the norm. Just help each other out.  

7) Be genuine and know that not everyone is meant to connect with you- I've been blogging since 2008, since then I have met, hundreds of people, only a handful have become my true friends. And, that's OK. We are meant to meet these people, connect at some level, or not and then allow life to take its course. Be yourself, and yes the rest will follow. Being yourself involves, knowing who you are. Because when those connections "don't stick" you have to remember that like with many other "careers" or jobs, some people are just passing through. And, working with difficult people is inevitable. But, when you work hard and are genuine in your intentions, there is no need to stress about who comes and goes. Know yourself and be happy with those people who come into your path, and/or leave it. 

8) Seek like-minded women- Know that not everyone will have the same interest as you. So, things do go better when you actually seek out those women who are truly like you or like-minded. Not saying to be "cliquey" or ONLY stick to a certain group. You should expand your network every 3 months or so, but always seeking people in your niche, who you have traits in common with. I am a Latina Mom of two, a blogger with a college degree from the University of Houston, who works outside the home and knows Corporate America fairly well. I tend to gravitate towards women who are very similar to me. I also love working out, going to Target and drinking tea. So, the more I know who I am the better my network is. 

9) Create Shareable Content- If you want your tribe to share your content, create shareable content. Know your audience. If you know most women in your tribe work outside the home, or not of a certain faith, or maybe don't have children, then you want to share items that they can relate to and feel compelled to share. And, vice-versa, if you know your audience is mostly moms who are of a certain faith and work from home, then your content should be geared towards them. Or if your audience speaks mostly Spanish, then share items in Spanish, maybe not every post, but every so often. Most of us love to share memes and items we think are funny or great, but when it comes to growing your tribe you need to think about your audience and what they would like to see and read. 

10) Don't take anything personal- Easier said than done.  As I stated earlier, not everyone is meant to connect. You will not always agree with people and their posts or point of view. Remember that if you are using your social media as a business then you don't want to take anything personally. You don't know what others are going through or what their views are, don't worry if people don't follow you, or share your content or support you. We are all different. Again, we are humans, right? This is easier said than done. But, don't be discouraged and keep moving forward. People will always have an opinion and they can think what they want, you continue to do what you do because someone out there is wanting to read it.

Wednesday, June 19, 2019

::38 Birthday Wishes::

Every year I try to do something on social media or my blog for my birthday month.... this month, this year, this life have been hectic... but I wrote out a list of 38 birthday wishes.....

For my 38th year of life, I wish the following...

  1. "Blessings for the best, most in alignment year of life to date." (SO MUCH YES!)
  2. I wish to pick up my Bible more times this year than ever before. 
  3. I wish for my children to be safe, protected, and healthy. 
  4. I wish to be more organized and present as a human being. 
  5. I wish to be a more attentive and responsive as a woman to myself. 
  6. To continue to surround myself with women, and people who are in similar seasons and have similar goals.  
  7. To be a blessing to others. 
  8.  I wish to grow more this new year of life- Emotionally, Spiritually, Mentally and in Strength.
  9. I am wishing for a new renewed sense of self and self-awareness so that I can continuously admit to my mistakes and correct my actions. 
  10. To learn a new skill that will allow me to grow professionally. 
  11. To receive and accept all the new blessings coming in my life. 
  12. To live abundantly in all the things that I need to survive, especially in love. 
  13. I want to wish for further peace; inner and around me. 
  14. I wish to pick-up new mediation habits. 
  15. I wish to be ever present for those people who truly need me. 
  16. To be happy and smile no matter what comes my way. 
  17. To bring peace and joy to others. 
  18. I wish to be strong and uplifting in the hard times. 
  19. I wish to stop complaining about the things, I know I can't change, and take more action. 
  20. I wish for a very healthy year. 
  21. I wish to bring out the best in others and allow them to fulfill their fullest potential! 
  22. To travel more. 
  23. To truly and purposefully rest. 
  24. To finish reading all the books I've started. 
  25. I wish to start doing yoga again and try hot yoga. 
  26. I wish to further recognize the people who have truly made a difference in my life. 
  27. To continue to eat better and take care of ME. 
  28. To take more times out of my day to breathe and reflect and truly be thankful for where I am. 
  29. To advance in my career and be at peace with my career choices and path. 
  30. I want to set bigger goals and new action items for myself. (Can you say America Ninja Warrior, MAYBE.) 
  31. I wish to continue to reach my goals and dream BIGGER every day. 
  32. I wish to build a strong community around me who are growing and successful so that I can grow and succeed with them. 
  33. I wish to do more volunteer work this year. 
  34. I wish to spend more time with friends. Especially friends who I have not seen in a while. 
  35. I wish to be better at managing my money. 
  36. I wish to turn my passion into my biggest asset. 
  37. I wish to find myself and happiness at the same intersection. 
  38. I wish to re-create who I am and thrive..... 

This is 38 ya'll! 

Tuesday, June 18, 2019

Connie 2.0 Experience

Brene Brown talks about the power of vulnerability. Being your most authentic self by recognizing connectivity and how shame can truly shape us. I want to talk about the power in "silence and timing". No one ever tells you how much shame and guilt is felt when you make the choice to walk away from someone. You are the one making the choice why is it still so hard and complicated? Well, first of all, another human being is involved. Feelings, time spent together, doubts about making the right choices. In my case, two littles. :: insert months of silence and waiting for the right time::

How often do we get a redo at life? How often do we get to start over and do things differently? To reinvent you? To revolutionize yourself and give yourself an upgrade to a new self?? Not often. Sometimes the potential loss is a great opportunity. A couple months ago, in April actually, I felt this kind of deep sentiment of "a redo at life".

I attended Mom 2.0 in Austin for the first time. I will admit. It’s been a while since I’ve been to a conference and really felt anything like this. A rebirth if you will. One of the presenters said "We didn’t get here by aiming low." And in my mind, all I could think is we didn’t get here by coincidence either. We were all in the exact moment we were meant to be at.

A few days before the conference I wasn’t sure I’d make it. Did I have the money to go? Was my mind in the right place? Why was I going? Did I really need to go? Without answers to any of those questions, I left Houston. I started my road trip by telling myself that I should go to Austin and enjoy my time away, regardless of how I felt. Something good must come of it I thought. And, that it did.

Feeling emotionally drained and exhausted I arrived a Wednesday afternoon connected with my roommate. An amazing Latina from Florida. And, tried to shift my mindset.

That night we headed out to our first event of the week and immediately my social sensors tingled. I was home. This is my place ya’ll. Not Austin. Not this conference. But this space, a place where women connect or reconnect, a space where we were all once strangers but thanks to the WWW we are now connected, a space where you can’t hide behind the keyboard and our insecurities cause guess what we are here IN REAL LIFE (IRL) y como dicen, a todo color.

The first set of encounters on that first night changed my mood and brightened my outlook.

I had a full itinerary for Thursday but again I wasn’t expecting much. Just being honest. Sometimes this is how I feel. Good but eh, we’ll see....

Thursday at the conference did not disappoint....It included a beautiful and serene breakfast sponsored by Dove where moms shared their birth stories good and bad. It was uplifting and a reminder that I’m not alone on this Mommahood journey.... or the Womanhood, Relationship journey. 

I went on to attend a diversity and inclusion panel which happened to have been moderated and lead by a Houston mom! It immediately reminded me why empowering Houston Latina women has become my passion. We’ve filled a gap in a niche that we didn’t even know how or if we could and would fill but now exist in all ways and forms. I’m proud of us and what we’ve accomplished in truly such a short time.

Then there was Brene Brown. :: insert the heavens opening up and angels singing here :: 

The words that came to mind as I took notes that afternoon at her talk were:



She answered questions about how she got where she is today, you know the "breakdown", I mean spiritual awakening, how she felt about it all, that infamous Youtube video, her new documentary and how she walked away from working with Bo-prah. She reinforced my feelings of wanting to one day speak at TEDTalks and how she placed it in the Universe which I have done...just now....  

She reminded us to "stay focused and you will get there." It's hard sometimes to think of the amount of time you have to invest in your goals to accomplish them. But, you must stay on your path... She reminded us that NO is important, because "every time you say yes to something, you are saying no to something you don't know exist yet."  And, that the measure of how well you are doing is how many people you are pissing off. 

She's such a powerful thought leader making a great social impact as a  researcher-storyteller, or you know magic pixie! 

This trip was definitely a good one and I obviously came back very inspired by it. 

Monday, May 20, 2019

::Powerful Women::

To be a powerful woman. A powerful Latina woman. What does that mean? What does that encompass? How did your strength grow? How do you become this woman? Oh, the questions are endless that I ask myself all the time, especially these days. What does that mean Connie?'ve labeled yourself a Powerful Latina?

When you give yourself a label, you kind of have to live up to it right? Right? You have to own it. You have to embrace it and be confident in your walk. 

For so many years I had no clue who I was, who I was becoming and who was being created inside of me. I didn't know of my sense of self and "power". I didn't know the depth of my heart and soul. The power that was being built. The confidence, and how intimidating it can be. I know many, many powerful women. I am surrounded by them daily. Most I am not intimidated by but I have great respect and admiration for them, I aspire to be more like them. 

These days I know that...I am an intense person. I am a passionate person. I don't like the word no, I keep going once I've heard it. I know what I want and who I want in my life. I try to be assertive and make decision head-on. It has not come easy, my upbringing was hard. I didn't have the most smooth teenage years. I dealt with helping my parents with my three younger siblings, working many hours Senior year in High school to help pay for my graduation and enduring my parent's relationship issues. It wasn't until my early 20's that those things started to catch up with me.

Depression would loom but I tried to be the happy, go-lucky, goodie-goodie 20-something year old that everyone had known for years. Little did I know that at 37 those things would all catch up to me. 

Both in a good and bad way. We cannot hide or run from those inner-"demons", we must confront them, beat them and overcome. 

While I knew exactly what I had survived and how I made the absolute best of it all, I didn't realize how much growth and strength had also happened. I also went through this 19-year relationship (7 years of dating and 12 of marriage) which taught me SO much about my own drive, capabilities and again that strength that we all need to overcome struggles and obstacles.

I realize now how much I push others to reach their potential. How much I push myself to strive for bigger and better. It's draining and a lot of work. But, I did it, continue to and truly have no desire to change it. I want to be the best version of me that I can possibly be EVERY SINGLE DAY. Is that wrong? I don't know. But, I am also an idealist and dreamer, I see SO much potential in others, and expect them to have the same self-drive, motivation and passion that I have for myself. Is that wrong? I don't think so. 

I didn't know being "powerful" came with a price. I didn't realize that I was outgrowing my partner and that I was no longer that 18-year-old girl who thought changing the world and making an impact was, in fact, possible but had NO clue what it meant or how or where to even begin. The impact has come in the form of living my journey and constantly sharing who I am. In the most real and raw form. 

Unfiltered and direct. 

The evolution of who we want to become sneaks up on us and is more clear sometimes to the outside world than ourselves. It's just a matter of gathering clarity and truly running with who you have become. 
By no means does this mean my life is perfect, especially not now, it's not. I still navigate through many feelings and problems daily. I just don't know how to give up, ever. And, won't.

Thursday, May 16, 2019


Transition: To transition, transform or metamorphous into a new place or space. 

It’s where I’ve been for over a year, mentally. Physically the movement began, a little over 8 months ago. It’s a difficult place to be in when you truly have no clue where you’re heading. These have been some of the most difficult moments in my life to date but with time comes clarity. 

As I continue to seek it. 

With every push forward towards seeking your true self there comes a little defeat, disappointment, thoughtfulness, and reflection. But, not everything is lost. Along the way, you find new friends, a new sense of self and direction. You grow a little more with each experience and are reminded of your resilience.

It seems that every time I get overwhelmed I tend to retreat into my safe zone. But, I’m pretty sure that’s most people. That doesn't mean that that's where you belong. Because that's definitely not where growth happens.  

Going back into my comfort zone and doing the thing that I love most and know well, writing and staying in this "safe" space. Comes easy to me. So, when things get overwhelming this is where I go. To my words. But, most growth has happened in my actions. I am just now ready and able to put it all into words. 

And, it's kind of, a very freeing moment and movement if you will. To be less censored in what I can and how I say, or write about it. Divorce isn't an easy word to write, much less say. It's been a process and time has given me the words I need to move forward. 

It’s easy to be filled with self-doubt, fear, and defeat. And, sometimes it’s OKAY, to feel these feelings. Because they’re real. Because they happen. Because it’s life. 

Things are not always going to be perfect. Don’t compare. Instead, look inward for direction. Purpose is fulfilled differently for everyone.

When you accept what this life has chosen for you to bare, that’s when you can turn your situation around. If you go back in history you will find clues that will confirm your purpose. I know I have. Sometimes the signs were there but I still moved forward. Without my 19 year relationship, I would not have the experiences I have now, or two children to help me become who I am today. 

When you are called to seek a new path, it’s a testament to your purpose. Resilience & Courage. Be brave and move forward. 

These are the words I keep telling myself. These are the words I want to write about. I want to talk about how much pain and guilt occurs when leaving a marriage is your choice. How I never meant to hurt my spouse. It was never my intention but it happened. I lived with the guilt for days on end. But, I've pushed forward and learned that it can't live in your heart because it's not a way of life. 

Neither of us was perfect. Obviously. But, the choices I made were for me alone. And, these days, I am good with how it has all started to work out and "fall into place". 

I also know, that my direction has changed, and that's OKAY too. 

This is where my new chapter of life begins, the next 20 years of my life will be spent exploring more of who I want to be and how I want to continue to fulfill my purpose. 

Friday, April 19, 2019

::Lost & Found::

When I started writing in this space back in 2009 it was a very personal, very real and unplanned journey. 

Over the years I had gained structure, sponsors and a following. The last 3 years or so, I've lacked in some of those spaces. Life got so busy and hectic. My full-time non-social media job, family, kids and trying to grow other spaces took over. And then, to be totally honest 2018 was messy. In my mind, in my heart, and in just life situations. The thing is that my life has been thrown "off course" if you will.  

With that said.

I can tell you that drastic change is sometimes needed in our lives. We sit for so long in this place of comfort that we feel this is where we belong and where our truth lies. But, it's only when those things unravel and get undone or are no longer there that you discover, how long overdue that change was. I can tell you this, there are some battles that are better fought in private, only because of the people and feelings involved. I think that my followers have over the years been so respectful of my privacy that it has always allowed me to share at my own pace and in the perfect time, for me. 

This space has though become very public, not saying I'm some kind of a celebrity but I mean if you think I look like Kourtney Kardashian like who am I to change your mind. So, will there be answers as to why my blog has become dormant, or why my social media posts have shifted and why you don't see certain things being shared anymore? Sure.  These last few post cover it, pretty well I think. 
Life happened. 
For now, I wanted to share about being lost and finding out who you were created to be in this very moment. We all have a purpose, a goal in this life, not created by us. It's a universe or Godly plan, whichever force you believe in. Sometimes we have to be so lost, hit that "rock bottom" literally or figuratively speaking. Whichever comes first. It's hard. It's not an easy process. You have to remind yourself that no one can save you from this. You are your own hero, your own person. We all make choices those choices come with outcomes, good and bad. It's here that you start to find yourself.

Being lost involves letting go, removing and moving on. 

Being found involves accepting the change, embracing it and knowing that no matter how difficult it is you will come out on the other side a survivor, a warrior, victorious. Yes, some of this, especially in relationships, involves two people, but honesty to make it through the process you have to look at yourself.

Call out your own bullshit. Be honest. No matter how hard it is. 

We are not perfect, there are things that I know I could do better or try harder at but sometimes we just have to accept these faults and move forward regardless of them.  For many years, I think my fault was worrying about others too much. What they thought about me or what they thought I should do to be successful and happy. I stopped believing in me and what I truly wanted. It becomes complicated when you realize this and it involves undoing all those things you once thought you wanted.

But, it's never too late. 

I would do it all again, expressing my truth and honesty, and knowing that I was true to myself and who I need to be now in my late 30's versus who I thought I wanted to be in my late teens, early 20's. People change, I have learned that there is nothing wrong with this. Yes, this sometimes involves pain and hurt but with good positive actions, this will get better.

It's not an easy process to be lost and try to find yourself... but I hope you can be open to your heart, mind and what the future could hold for you if you are truthful and honest.


Thursday, April 18, 2019

Where I am now? ::Using our energy to move forward ::

Where I am now?

Well, I am in-between. Per usual. 

Between..... here and there

Between balancing life and Motherhood. Between finding myself and being lost. Between being myself and trying to recreate who I am. Between writing and taking time off. Between falling apart and building myself back up. 

I feel like I have been in this place for a while now, years maybe. Stuck, seeking a place with relevance to who I am and what I want for my future. It takes time for me to truly settle not because I don't want to settle but because I have not found the place that is a right fit for me.

In life that is..

But, I think it all comes down to growth and continued learning. 

Does this mean I am a non-conformist? Maybe, a little?  I just want to be in a good place where I can "settle" but don't have to settle for less. It means that no matter what right now, I am making seeking this better place for me, making it a priority and my main focus. 

Have I thought about leaving the blog world? I talk about it almost every year, quitting and not blogging anymore, giving it all up and moving on with my life. But, it hasn't happened yet mainly because every time I try to quit something even more amazing falls into my lap and I have that innate urge to run with it. And, I usually do.

The writing also...... always, brings me back in. 

For almost 5 years now I  have also helped run a group called the Houston Latina Bloggers. Because of it, other amazing projects have come together in collaboration with so many other local women who hustle hard. Not to mention I work an 8-5 p.m. non-social media related position, have two young children, and I have also worked on my professional development and creating workshops to grow my blog and social media side-gig, and oh yeah, I try to maintain a somewhat social life.

In between all this,  I needed a good long pause and found a moment to slow down the Momma of Dos engine. To re-focus. Find my clarity and start over.... 

In a nutshell, I needed a true break. NOW, it's April of 2019 and the fire is back...

This year I want to give my all in a purposeful and genuine way and continue to move forward. This time, I hope it's different. I want to maintain a good focus and I want 2019 to end differently.

So, what will be different? 

Last year I started learning more about channeling into energies, vibes, and the light that surrounds us. I have since tried to truly seek these energies in myself and others. On the flip-side, I never really knew what kind of energy I was giving out to other people or how other people perceive me. But, I've learned to be more in tune and conscious of "my energy, my vibe" and who I am attracting. I know that I'm a person that tries to do as much as possible for everyone and anyone. I also know that I have been the kind of person that will find time to support others and give credit where credit is due. I don't ever really think twice about it, I just do it.

I truly believe in karma... do good for others and don't expect anything in return.

I know that I feed off of other peoples energy.  I feel that everybody has all the things they need to succeed. We choose to do things differently and to follow our own purpose and follow that light and that energy that we each carry. I always try to think about the positive because I definitely feel like I'm a positive person. Which doesn't mean that I don't have dark moments because I have them for sure. I've been in all kinds of situations and I've been hurt and hurt others but you keep going. You push through that energy and you renew it and you renew your life and you renew your vibes.

The difference is direction and intention... I want a new direction and intention for my blog...and that's what I plan on achieving. 

Friday, April 12, 2019

::Writing the Next Chapter in Life::

Sunset, Destin, Florida 2017 

Not every story begins with a once upon a time or ends with a happily ever after... at least not in the way one might think. We all create the lives we want, based on the choices we make, our societal perceptions and truly the deck that life throws at you. I can't be upset about what someone else has that might be better than my situation, or circumstance. We all work hard to get to where we are, and if we don't put the work in and strive for better then, we remain. And, sometimes people are okay with this. 

Growing up I knew that going to college, getting married, having a career and kids was the "right" way of doing things. Even though no one else in my family had really followed this path, I did it all in this exact order. Along the way, life has thrown SO many obstacles at us, as life would, but we worked hard and created the life we wanted and deserved. But, then again, we don't always control certain circumstances or life's events and things can change suddenly and drastically

For years I've sought to figure out who I am. What I want and where I am going with this whole passion for writing and inspiring working moms deal. I've had my share of nay-sayers, people who didn't believe in me or what I was trying to achieve. For what, for who and why? In part because they didn't understand it, and honestly for a long time, I didn't either. 

I've never given up though. 

I've continued to build and grow my community of women, my tribe of Momma bosses, not truly knowing where I wanted to go with it. Do I know now? Probably not as clear as I would like. What I do know is that now my journey has created a new path. One where even though I might be judged and looked at like I've made the biggest mistake of my life, I can tell you that I've made the best choice for me. It's been a period of true transition for us here at Momma of Dos for a little over 9 months now. By us, I mean my children, myself and their dad. We now live in separate households and have created different routines and are continuously trying to establish a new normal for us all. A lot harder than one might imagine. All of this is new to us; the transition, the two homes, the arrangements and details of it all.  Lots of sadness, confusion, pain and hurt. 

But, I am not giving up now..... 

This blog has chronicled MANY, many years of our lives together. Now, our lives are being lived on two separate paths. It's not been easy and there is so much more I will share as I can. I appreciate the love, support, and respect of those on my social media outlets, in our immediate circle, in our families and our friends.  For obvious reasons, I have not been able to share, nor did I feel I had to, what was going on as openly as most would have liked but I feel we are getting to a place where I can be a little more open about it all. 

Things are still a little difficult and details are still falling into place but we are all moving forward and trying to make sense of a hard situation. 

Please note, I do not share this as a victim. I share this from a place where I have made decisions for myself that I felt were best for me moving forward.  I could sit and share all the negative and bad of the last few months, but that's not my plan at all for this space.