Tuesday, June 18, 2019

Connie 2.0 Experience

Brene Brown talks about the power of vulnerability. Being your most authentic self by recognizing connectivity and how shame can truly shape us. I want to talk about the power in "silence and timing". No one ever tells you how much shame and guilt is felt when you make the choice to walk away from someone. You are the one making the choice why is it still so hard and complicated? Well, first of all, another human being is involved. Feelings, time spent together, doubts about making the right choices. In my case, two littles. :: insert months of silence and waiting for the right time::

How often do we get a redo at life? How often do we get to start over and do things differently? To reinvent you? To revolutionize yourself and give yourself an upgrade to a new self?? Not often. Sometimes the potential loss is a great opportunity. A couple months ago, in April actually, I felt this kind of deep sentiment of "a redo at life".

I attended Mom 2.0 in Austin for the first time. I will admit. It’s been a while since I’ve been to a conference and really felt anything like this. A rebirth if you will. One of the presenters said "We didn’t get here by aiming low." And in my mind, all I could think is we didn’t get here by coincidence either. We were all in the exact moment we were meant to be at.

A few days before the conference I wasn’t sure I’d make it. Did I have the money to go? Was my mind in the right place? Why was I going? Did I really need to go? Without answers to any of those questions, I left Houston. I started my road trip by telling myself that I should go to Austin and enjoy my time away, regardless of how I felt. Something good must come of it I thought. And, that it did.

Feeling emotionally drained and exhausted I arrived a Wednesday afternoon connected with my roommate. An amazing Latina from Florida. And, tried to shift my mindset.

That night we headed out to our first event of the week and immediately my social sensors tingled. I was home. This is my place ya’ll. Not Austin. Not this conference. But this space, a place where women connect or reconnect, a space where we were all once strangers but thanks to the WWW we are now connected, a space where you can’t hide behind the keyboard and our insecurities cause guess what we are here IN REAL LIFE (IRL) y como dicen, a todo color.

The first set of encounters on that first night changed my mood and brightened my outlook.

I had a full itinerary for Thursday but again I wasn’t expecting much. Just being honest. Sometimes this is how I feel. Good but eh, we’ll see....

Thursday at the conference did not disappoint....It included a beautiful and serene breakfast sponsored by Dove where moms shared their birth stories good and bad. It was uplifting and a reminder that I’m not alone on this Mommahood journey.... or the Womanhood, Relationship journey. 

I went on to attend a diversity and inclusion panel which happened to have been moderated and lead by a Houston mom! It immediately reminded me why empowering Houston Latina women has become my passion. We’ve filled a gap in a niche that we didn’t even know how or if we could and would fill but now exist in all ways and forms. I’m proud of us and what we’ve accomplished in truly such a short time.

Then there was Brene Brown. :: insert the heavens opening up and angels singing here :: 

The words that came to mind as I took notes that afternoon at her talk were:



She answered questions about how she got where she is today, you know the "breakdown", I mean spiritual awakening, how she felt about it all, that infamous Youtube video, her new documentary and how she walked away from working with Bo-prah. She reinforced my feelings of wanting to one day speak at TEDTalks and how she placed it in the Universe which I have done...just now....  

She reminded us to "stay focused and you will get there." It's hard sometimes to think of the amount of time you have to invest in your goals to accomplish them. But, you must stay on your path... She reminded us that NO is important, because "every time you say yes to something, you are saying no to something you don't know exist yet."  And, that the measure of how well you are doing is how many people you are pissing off. 

She's such a powerful thought leader making a great social impact as a  researcher-storyteller, or you know magic pixie! 

This trip was definitely a good one and I obviously came back very inspired by it. 

Monday, May 20, 2019

::Powerful Women::

To be a powerful woman. A powerful Latina woman. What does that mean? What does that encompass? How did your strength grow? How do you become this woman? Oh, the questions are endless that I ask myself all the time, especially these days. What does that mean Connie? 

....you've labeled yourself a Powerful Latina?

When you give yourself a label, you kind of have to live up to it right? Right? You have to own it. You have to embrace it and be confident in your walk. 

For so many years I had no clue who I was, who I was becoming and who was being created inside of me. I didn't know of my sense of self and "power". I didn't know the depth of my heart and soul. The power that was being built. The confidence, and how intimidating it can be. I know many, many powerful women. I am surrounded by them daily. Most I am not intimidated by but I have great respect and admiration for them, I aspire to be more like them. 

These days I know that...I am an intense person. I am a passionate person. I don't like the word no, I keep going once I've heard it. I know what I want and who I want in my life. I try to be assertive and make decision head-on. It has not come easy, my upbringing was hard. I didn't have the most smooth teenage years. I dealt with helping my parents with my three younger siblings, working many hours Senior year in High school to help pay for my graduation and enduring my parent's relationship issues. It wasn't until my early 20's that those things started to catch up with me.

Depression would loom but I tried to be the happy, go-lucky, goodie-goodie 20-something year old that everyone had known for years. Little did I know that at 37 those things would all catch up to me. 

Both in a good and bad way. We cannot hide or run from those inner-"demons", we must confront them, beat them and overcome. 

While I knew exactly what I had survived and how I made the absolute best of it all, I didn't realize how much growth and strength had also happened. I also went through this 19-year relationship (7 years of dating and 12 of marriage) which taught me SO much about my own drive, capabilities and again that strength that we all need to overcome struggles and obstacles.

I realize now how much I push others to reach their potential. How much I push myself to strive for bigger and better. It's draining and a lot of work. But, I did it, continue to and truly have no desire to change it. I want to be the best version of me that I can possibly be EVERY SINGLE DAY. Is that wrong? I don't know. But, I am also an idealist and dreamer, I see SO much potential in others, and expect them to have the same self-drive, motivation and passion that I have for myself. Is that wrong? I don't think so. 

I didn't know being "powerful" came with a price. I didn't realize that I was outgrowing my partner and that I was no longer that 18-year-old girl who thought changing the world and making an impact was, in fact, possible but had NO clue what it meant or how or where to even begin. The impact has come in the form of living my journey and constantly sharing who I am. In the most real and raw form. 

Unfiltered and direct. 

The evolution of who we want to become sneaks up on us and is more clear sometimes to the outside world than ourselves. It's just a matter of gathering clarity and truly running with who you have become. 
By no means does this mean my life is perfect, especially not now, it's not. I still navigate through many feelings and problems daily. I just don't know how to give up, ever. And, won't.

Thursday, May 16, 2019


Transition: To transition, transform or metamorphous into a new place or space. 

It’s where I’ve been for over a year, mentally. Physically the movement began, a little over 8 months ago. It’s a difficult place to be in when you truly have no clue where you’re heading. These have been some of the most difficult moments in my life to date but with time comes clarity. 

As I continue to seek it. 

With every push forward towards seeking your true self there comes a little defeat, disappointment, thoughtfulness, and reflection. But, not everything is lost. Along the way, you find new friends, a new sense of self and direction. You grow a little more with each experience and are reminded of your resilience.

It seems that every time I get overwhelmed I tend to retreat into my safe zone. But, I’m pretty sure that’s most people. That doesn't mean that that's where you belong. Because that's definitely not where growth happens.  

Going back into my comfort zone and doing the thing that I love most and know well, writing and staying in this "safe" space. Comes easy to me. So, when things get overwhelming this is where I go. To my words. But, most growth has happened in my actions. I am just now ready and able to put it all into words. 

And, it's kind of, a very freeing moment and movement if you will. To be less censored in what I can and how I say, or write about it. Divorce isn't an easy word to write, much less say. It's been a process and time has given me the words I need to move forward. 

It’s easy to be filled with self-doubt, fear, and defeat. And, sometimes it’s OKAY, to feel these feelings. Because they’re real. Because they happen. Because it’s life. 

Things are not always going to be perfect. Don’t compare. Instead, look inward for direction. Purpose is fulfilled differently for everyone.

When you accept what this life has chosen for you to bare, that’s when you can turn your situation around. If you go back in history you will find clues that will confirm your purpose. I know I have. Sometimes the signs were there but I still moved forward. Without my 19 year relationship, I would not have the experiences I have now, or two children to help me become who I am today. 

When you are called to seek a new path, it’s a testament to your purpose. Resilience & Courage. Be brave and move forward. 

These are the words I keep telling myself. These are the words I want to write about. I want to talk about how much pain and guilt occurs when leaving a marriage is your choice. How I never meant to hurt my spouse. It was never my intention but it happened. I lived with the guilt for days on end. But, I've pushed forward and learned that it can't live in your heart because it's not a way of life. 

Neither of us was perfect. Obviously. But, the choices I made were for me alone. And, these days, I am good with how it has all started to work out and "fall into place". 

I also know, that my direction has changed, and that's OKAY too. 

This is where my new chapter of life begins, the next 20 years of my life will be spent exploring more of who I want to be and how I want to continue to fulfill my purpose. 

Friday, April 19, 2019

::Lost & Found::

When I started writing in this space back in 2009 it was a very personal, very real and unplanned journey. 

Over the years I had gained structure, sponsors and a following. The last 3 years or so, I've lacked in some of those spaces. Life got so busy and hectic. My full-time non-social media job, family, kids and trying to grow other spaces took over. And then, to be totally honest 2018 was messy. In my mind, in my heart, and in just life situations. The thing is that my life has been thrown "off course" if you will.  

With that said.

I can tell you that drastic change is sometimes needed in our lives. We sit for so long in this place of comfort that we feel this is where we belong and where our truth lies. But, it's only when those things unravel and get undone or are no longer there that you discover, how long overdue that change was. I can tell you this, there are some battles that are better fought in private, only because of the people and feelings involved. I think that my followers have over the years been so respectful of my privacy that it has always allowed me to share at my own pace and in the perfect time, for me. 

This space has though become very public, not saying I'm some kind of a celebrity but I mean if you think I look like Kourtney Kardashian like who am I to change your mind. So, will there be answers as to why my blog has become dormant, or why my social media posts have shifted and why you don't see certain things being shared anymore? Sure.  These last few post cover it, pretty well I think. 
Life happened. 
For now, I wanted to share about being lost and finding out who you were created to be in this very moment. We all have a purpose, a goal in this life, not created by us. It's a universe or Godly plan, whichever force you believe in. Sometimes we have to be so lost, hit that "rock bottom" literally or figuratively speaking. Whichever comes first. It's hard. It's not an easy process. You have to remind yourself that no one can save you from this. You are your own hero, your own person. We all make choices those choices come with outcomes, good and bad. It's here that you start to find yourself.

Being lost involves letting go, removing and moving on. 

Being found involves accepting the change, embracing it and knowing that no matter how difficult it is you will come out on the other side a survivor, a warrior, victorious. Yes, some of this, especially in relationships, involves two people, but honesty to make it through the process you have to look at yourself.

Call out your own bullshit. Be honest. No matter how hard it is. 

We are not perfect, there are things that I know I could do better or try harder at but sometimes we just have to accept these faults and move forward regardless of them.  For many years, I think my fault was worrying about others too much. What they thought about me or what they thought I should do to be successful and happy. I stopped believing in me and what I truly wanted. It becomes complicated when you realize this and it involves undoing all those things you once thought you wanted.

But, it's never too late. 

I would do it all again, expressing my truth and honesty, and knowing that I was true to myself and who I need to be now in my late 30's versus who I thought I wanted to be in my late teens, early 20's. People change, I have learned that there is nothing wrong with this. Yes, this sometimes involves pain and hurt but with good positive actions, this will get better.

It's not an easy process to be lost and try to find yourself... but I hope you can be open to your heart, mind and what the future could hold for you if you are truthful and honest.


Thursday, April 18, 2019

Where I am now? ::Using our energy to move forward ::

Where I am now?

Well, I am in-between. Per usual. 

Between..... here and there

Between balancing life and Motherhood. Between finding myself and being lost. Between being myself and trying to recreate who I am. Between writing and taking time off. Between falling apart and building myself back up. 

I feel like I have been in this place for a while now, years maybe. Stuck, seeking a place with relevance to who I am and what I want for my future. It takes time for me to truly settle not because I don't want to settle but because I have not found the place that is a right fit for me.

In life that is..

But, I think it all comes down to growth and continued learning. 

Does this mean I am a non-conformist? Maybe, a little?  I just want to be in a good place where I can "settle" but don't have to settle for less. It means that no matter what right now, I am making seeking this better place for me, making it a priority and my main focus. 

Have I thought about leaving the blog world? I talk about it almost every year, quitting and not blogging anymore, giving it all up and moving on with my life. But, it hasn't happened yet mainly because every time I try to quit something even more amazing falls into my lap and I have that innate urge to run with it. And, I usually do.

The writing also...... always, brings me back in. 

For almost 5 years now I  have also helped run a group called the Houston Latina Bloggers. Because of it, other amazing projects have come together in collaboration with so many other local women who hustle hard. Not to mention I work an 8-5 p.m. non-social media related position, have two young children, and I have also worked on my professional development and creating workshops to grow my blog and social media side-gig, and oh yeah, I try to maintain a somewhat social life.

In between all this,  I needed a good long pause and found a moment to slow down the Momma of Dos engine. To re-focus. Find my clarity and start over.... 

In a nutshell, I needed a true break. NOW, it's April of 2019 and the fire is back...

This year I want to give my all in a purposeful and genuine way and continue to move forward. This time, I hope it's different. I want to maintain a good focus and I want 2019 to end differently.

So, what will be different? 

Last year I started learning more about channeling into energies, vibes, and the light that surrounds us. I have since tried to truly seek these energies in myself and others. On the flip-side, I never really knew what kind of energy I was giving out to other people or how other people perceive me. But, I've learned to be more in tune and conscious of "my energy, my vibe" and who I am attracting. I know that I'm a person that tries to do as much as possible for everyone and anyone. I also know that I have been the kind of person that will find time to support others and give credit where credit is due. I don't ever really think twice about it, I just do it.

I truly believe in karma... do good for others and don't expect anything in return.

I know that I feed off of other peoples energy.  I feel that everybody has all the things they need to succeed. We choose to do things differently and to follow our own purpose and follow that light and that energy that we each carry. I always try to think about the positive because I definitely feel like I'm a positive person. Which doesn't mean that I don't have dark moments because I have them for sure. I've been in all kinds of situations and I've been hurt and hurt others but you keep going. You push through that energy and you renew it and you renew your life and you renew your vibes.

The difference is direction and intention... I want a new direction and intention for my blog...and that's what I plan on achieving. 

Friday, April 12, 2019

::Writing the Next Chapter in Life::

Sunset, Destin, Florida 2017 

Not every story begins with a once upon a time or ends with a happily ever after... at least not in the way one might think. We all create the lives we want, based on the choices we make, our societal perceptions and truly the deck that life throws at you. I can't be upset about what someone else has that might be better than my situation, or circumstance. We all work hard to get to where we are, and if we don't put the work in and strive for better then, we remain. And, sometimes people are okay with this. 

Growing up I knew that going to college, getting married, having a career and kids was the "right" way of doing things. Even though no one else in my family had really followed this path, I did it all in this exact order. Along the way, life has thrown SO many obstacles at us, as life would, but we worked hard and created the life we wanted and deserved. But, then again, we don't always control certain circumstances or life's events and things can change suddenly and drastically

For years I've sought to figure out who I am. What I want and where I am going with this whole passion for writing and inspiring working moms deal. I've had my share of nay-sayers, people who didn't believe in me or what I was trying to achieve. For what, for who and why? In part because they didn't understand it, and honestly for a long time, I didn't either. 

I've never given up though. 

I've continued to build and grow my community of women, my tribe of Momma bosses, not truly knowing where I wanted to go with it. Do I know now? Probably not as clear as I would like. What I do know is that now my journey has created a new path. One where even though I might be judged and looked at like I've made the biggest mistake of my life, I can tell you that I've made the best choice for me. It's been a period of true transition for us here at Momma of Dos for a little over 9 months now. By us, I mean my children, myself and their dad. We now live in separate households and have created different routines and are continuously trying to establish a new normal for us all. A lot harder than one might imagine. All of this is new to us; the transition, the two homes, the arrangements and details of it all.  Lots of sadness, confusion, pain and hurt. 

But, I am not giving up now..... 

This blog has chronicled MANY, many years of our lives together. Now, our lives are being lived on two separate paths. It's not been easy and there is so much more I will share as I can. I appreciate the love, support, and respect of those on my social media outlets, in our immediate circle, in our families and our friends.  For obvious reasons, I have not been able to share, nor did I feel I had to, what was going on as openly as most would have liked but I feel we are getting to a place where I can be a little more open about it all. 

Things are still a little difficult and details are still falling into place but we are all moving forward and trying to make sense of a hard situation. 

Please note, I do not share this as a victim. I share this from a place where I have made decisions for myself that I felt were best for me moving forward.  I could sit and share all the negative and bad of the last few months, but that's not my plan at all for this space.  

Saturday, October 13, 2018

Tejas y Nopales #JamesAvery

::Momma Disclosure:: This is a sponsored post in collaboration with James Avery, all opinions expressed are my own. 

As Hispanic Heritage Month comes to a close, I am getting the opportunity to write a little about my background and heritage. Thanks to the beautiful sterling silver charms at James Avery I am able to fully express who I am and where I am from.

I'm a little bit Texan and a little nopaluda. In between Tejano music and Banda. I know English but think in Spanish (super true). I love carne asada and I can eat Whataburger and pizza every day. I love Novelas and watch This is Us. It's like the scene from Selena (Yes, I went there.) "Being a Mexican-American is exhausting." You have to live in two very different worlds and somehow merge them very gracefully. 

My parents were born and raised in Mexico. In the 80's they came to Texas, Brenham/Navasota area to be exact. I was born and then we moved to Houston, when I was in the 7th grade we moved down to South Texas, or what is known as the Rio Grande Valley. My identity since I was born has been both Texan and Mexican. Mexican-American. I was taught to speak, think and feel in Spanish before I even learned English. Being Bilingual is also a big part of my identity.

My love for both sides of the border has always existed. Over the years it's grown. I will admit being a young Mexican-American in the US, was not easy in the sense that I was always so embarrassed to bring my non-Mexican friends around. My parents (and whole entire family) were "super Mexican" whatever that means, right? Now in my 30's and with kids of my own, I find myself missing my parents home and all of our food, family, traditions, and way of life. I do everything possible to not only continuously embrace my heritage and culture but also further learn about it and teach it to my children.

Growing up I had the opportunity to visit and travel to Mexico quite often with my parents and sometimes spent months there over the Summer. As an adult, I have also traveled to certain regions of Mexico. The absolute richness of its culture, its food, the heart and passion that Mexico has to survive is something that I hope to one day share with my children. Right now Mexico is a distant place for them but they know exactly where their GrandParents were born and how great being Mexican can be. I have always strived to teach them about both our Texas/American culture and way of life as well as that of being Mexican. I think they understand it well. Of course, they see and know the Texas side a lot more but when they get older I hope to take them to Mexico where they can experience it all first hand.

In the meantime, I love being able to continuously express who I am through the beautiful and customizable accessories that James Avery creates. There are so many pieces that I know I need and am obsessed with. 

Visit their page for more: James Avery 

Thursday, August 23, 2018

::Supporting Local Moms:: #InspiredSeries

It shouldn’t be a surprise that I often find myself connecting, networking, stalking (in a very non-creepy way) local mom groups or women’s groups in general. I love forming relationships with these women because well, that’s kind of what I do. A few months ago, I connected with Amanda of the West University Moms Network and a few weeks ago I discovered a similar group closer to where I live, the Katy Moms Network so naturally I asked Amanda to introduce me to them and well now here we are. I was featured on their page and since they are pretty badass women I decided that to feature them here would be perfect!  Meet Audrey & Natalie as they share with us how they met and are building a community for local momma’s. 

Hey y’all! 

We are Audrey & Natalie from Katy Moms Network! We were brought together by motherhood two years ago when we moved across the street from each other and quickly became best friends. We’ve got four amazing kiddos between the two of us, and our sweet, supportive husbands. And they’re all best friends, too! Our oldest, both daughters, are four months apart, and our youngest, both boys, are four months apart! Natalie not-so-secretly fantasizes about getting pregnant with Audrey again at the same time and hopes their husbands aren’t reading this! 

Audrey is a Katy native and after moving around Texas for a few years, made her way back to this amazing community to raise her family. Natalie’s an Oklahoma girl who lived in the Northeast for five years before coming home to the great state of Texas in 2015!

We launched Katy Moms Network, an online platform for moms, in early June and have been blown away by the early support! We’ve also started getting out in the community to connect with moms outside phone and computer screens, and that’s been super rewarding. We hosted a Toddler Time event at a local Chick-fil-A recently and were approached by two separate moms who said they hadn’t had the best luck with getting to know other moms in the community, but thanked us for being open, inviting, welcoming and warm. We looked at each other and said if we do nothing else...if all we do is THAT...then we’re happy. We have big dreams for this community and it’s been so fun getting to connect with so many already.

The wheels started turning for Katy Moms Network in the early Spring of 2018, after recognizing a need in the community. What if we could create an online community where local moms could go for resources and information, while also being a source of inspiration, community and togetherness, and support. 

We’re also deeply passionate about motherhood. The journey of motherhood is something that overtook us in a way that we never knew possible. It’s this life-changing, earth-shattering moment when you become a mom, and a deep, indescribable love you never knew you could feel. But motherhood also comes with really hard, hard stuff. It’s a role we hoped we’d always play, but didn’t know just how much it would transform our hearts. Motherhood: something we were designed and made to do and something literally billions of women do across the globe, but also something so intricate that every woman has their own unique, beautiful experience and journey with. 

Most of us all follow some larger scale mom community online. The ‘I Mom So Hard’ and ‘Cat & Nat’s of the World, along with awesome blogs like Motherly and Scary Mommy. Tons of amazing platforms that bring togetherness, acceptance, and support back to motherhood. But there’s nothing like that on a hyper-local scale that we’ve ever been able to connect with on a meaningful level. We wanted to create a space where we can go to feel supported, inspired, accepted, normal, and all feel a true sense of community. A place where you feel understood by the moms who literally live next door, who are doing this all right along with you. A place where you can get all the information you need- best doctors, best places for dinner with kids, and what the heck to do in this town with those tiny humans! All this in one place, curated for you. So we created it! And Katy Moms Network was born.

What you’ll find on our site and our social media channels is a resource-rich website with local activities and events, as well as original, unique content. Our content will aim to inform, support, inspire, uplift, educate, and hopefully even make you laugh. Or maybe we can make a day where you felt guilty for yelling at your dang kids all day feel okay and normal because hey, we probably did it too. Because behind this website are just two Katy moms, just like you. We’ll aim to continually evolve this space, so it becomes your go-to resource in Katy, TX. We’ve also had so much fun adding the Monday Meet A Mom Feature, as well as Small Business Saturday, as a way to highlight mamas kicking ass and businesses that inspire us. Katy’s a pretty special place and we feel lucky we get to raise a family here. The moms we’ve met over the last few years in Katy have been instrumental in our lives and we’ve built friendships that will last a lifetime- not only for us moms but for our kiddos.

We like to think the best way to do this whole mom thing is with each other- a community of strong, kind, supportive mamas. They say it takes a village and we couldn’t agree more. Our best advice for any mother is to find your people. And if you don’t have your people yet, let us be your people. We would love to be in your village!


Thursday, July 26, 2018

::Created for More:: Turning 37 with #MyJaSummerStyle

::Momma Disclosure:: This is a sponsored post in collaboration with James Avery, all opinions expressed are my own. 

I turned 37 last month. And, in celebration of my birthday and my partnership with James Avery, I’m taking some time to reflect on this new year of life... and the opportunities it will bring to improve and grow. No need to be sad or feel regret, life is about living and learning and growing older...and hopefully wiser. 

There are so many lessons that I’ve learned over the years. Good, bad. Sometimes sad, life-changing and traumatic. So many experiences and people who have helped me and supported me along the way. Most importantly my family. And, in 37 years all I can say and think of is... I was created for more. More than just being a Momma or a professional.

Along the way, I’ve made many mistakes. Encountered so many problems and obstacles. Been faced with many issues. Some of which I’ve come out victorious and some of which I’ve failed at. I'm human. Not perfect. I say that all the time. I have many faults and make mistakes. Not everyone likes me. I’ve learned to live with this. Such is life

And, even though some days are tough and my confidence dwindles or I feel unworthy... there are always those moments, those people and certain words that remind me that I truly was created for more. If there is anything I’ve learned is that to make an impact you don’t have to be the smartest, the prettiest or even the most perfect. You just have to be human and care about others.

I am loving my partnership with James Avery and their customizable pieces which constantly remind me of my purpose and that I was created for more! I know that in order to achieve this I, at times, need to slow down, take a deep breath and be reminded of what my true purpose is and how I will achieve my goals.

Year 37, I’ve embraced you and I’m ready for the road that lies ahead. I don't know what it will bring but so far life has not let me down...

No matter what is going on around me, I am choosing to re-think, re-evaluate and re-do those things I know I can do better.

What about you, how are you embracing your purpose and what you were created for? James Avery can help you express this through all of the perfect and uniquely crafted items.

::GIVEAWAY:: Do you want to win a James Avery gift card? You still have until July 30 to enter to win! Post your favorite way to wear their jewelry and use the hashtag #myjasummerstyle 

Tuesday, June 26, 2018

Beautiful Purpose :: Social Share:: Work/Life Balance

This past weekend I partnered with Danelia who just created a new project called Beautiful Purpose. Her events are called Social Shares and it can best be described as interactive sharing of personal experiences with women who have similar lifestyles, or not. Women from all walks of life joined us and from various age groups and backgrounds. We talked about work-life balance, and what that means and looks like for each of us as individuals. We discussed our most recent struggles with achieving this "balance" without losing our identity as women, as momma's, as wives, as entrepreneurs and just as who we strive to be. 

As someone who suffered early on from depression and anxiety and ultimately had to quit my job due to a massive panic attack. I shared about those things and what I have learned along the way. Here are some of the top lessons that my past situations and emotional hardships have taught me. 

My personal key lessons as a working momma of dos with high anxiety and depression complications:  

It's OK, to be an “OKAY" Mom. –  You don’t have to win at everything. Being average is OK. As someone who has always needed approval from others to proceed in life, being average was not a good idea or a concept I could grasp. I was absolutely overcompensating for something else that happened to me in my childhood, most likely with my parents. Now that I am a Momma knowing that my kids love me more than life on my best days the same as they do on my shit days, is so life-changing. In their eyes, I am not just OK, I’m amazing. So, if being OK for them is ok, then, I AM OKAY with that… I am really. It’s taken time to get here so it’s easier said than done to not care what anyone else will think if I am not perfect. But I no longer care about those judgmental (more times than not my own judgment) moments. 
You don’t have to win at everything.
It’s ok to say NO. - We can't do it all. Sure, we can try, I have tried for many years but the burnout is real and my family needs me to be at 100% to get things done.  FOMO. The fear of missing out was real. Truth is, you won’t be missing out on anything. Being ok with not being everywhere is very important. Saying NO, to those things that are just fill up my calendar and have no real meaning or benefit for my family, or purpose; are no longer a priority for me. I realized that what’s truly important is ME, who I am and what I want. My kids, their well-being and being able to provide for them. And, simply being there for my immediate family, mostly for my husband, and my kids.  So saying NO to things that don’t serve those people closest to me or my purpose are no longer on my to-do list. And, that is so freeing. 
You can try to do it all but you will over exhaust yourself.
Don’t forget about YOU! - We do SO much for everyone else it’s so important for yourself to be happy, to be fulfilled and to want to do for others. But first, you have to do MORE for yourself. If you aren’t happy then those around you will also suffer. As a Mexican-American momma, I learned from women like my mom and my aunts and grandmothers, that we do for everyone else regardless of how we feel. This is for sure a cultural cycle, that I decided years ago I could not continue to allow. The moment I decided that my needs, wants and passion comes first I realized that it's the best life I can live. So in 2013 I regained my sense of self and purpose and decided that while I love my children and husband, I would always work hard to be the best ME. To do more for me and never look back. Do I have momma guilt? Eh. Not anymore. (MAYBE) every once in awhile but once I realize how much certain things mean to me and how happy they make me I get over it. It does take time to get to this place and it's a very energizing experience. 

Cause it's true if Momma ain't happy....ain't nobody gonna be happy! #sorrynotsorry 

Refocus, reprioritize and move forward. - Have I had a perfect, happy, me-filled life for the last 4 years? No, not always or ever. But, when I notice that I am not doing enough for me and that I am getting lost in what everyone else wants, I tend to back away from it all again, hit reboot and start over. I know the feeling of hitting rock bottom, why would I want to be in that place again of unhappiness and bitterness. Where I am my own lowest priority and my focus is on the outside world. That is no way to live. The best way to regain this focus is by joining women at events like the one we had on Sunday. Where like-minded women who are willing and ready to invest in themselves are and who can help you realize that you need to get back on track. 

In all, I have learned that my happiness matters just as much as everyone else's.  It's sometimes hard for us to see things but you don't want to be in a bad situation trying to find your way out. It's always better to be preventative with your self-care and self-love! 

Trust me, you will love yourself for it! 

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Monday, June 25, 2018

Staying Positive in a Negative World :: Guest Blogger from Houston Latina Bloggers::


Staying Positive in a Negative World by Erica Martinez

I am a mother of three beautiful children. Every day I see more and more negativity take place in the world around us. Growing up I remember as a kid I just worried about my favorite cartoons that I was going to watch on Saturday afternoon and staying up a little late because it was the weekend. These days our children go through so many more advanced issues that we never even had to deal with until adults. 

With technology becoming and being such a huge part of our everyday lives, it is important to keep a positive outlook on the world around us. Who we associate with and what we allow into our space has a great impact on how we handle everyday issues. 

Let’s be real…staying positive can definitely be a true task for some of us when so much negativity is surrounding us on a daily basis. Whether it is an unhappy customer, family issues, illness or death, a failed relationship, we all can relate to having some type of negativity we deal with daily. We hear of so many sad stories and real-life events that take an emotional toll on us and sometimes staying positive can be very hard.  

Let’s look at some ideas on how to stay on that positive vibe:

Keep positive friends around!
Keeping friends who are upbeat and positive will keep your mind focused. You will be able to have your own circle of greatness and positivity surrounding you to help you stay in the right mindset. Don’t ever underestimate a good girl’s night out- whether that is a movie night and popcorn or a dinner at your local favorite diner. Keeping good vibes around is the best thing in town!

Find your happy place!
Do you have that favorite spot you just like to be when things get out of control? That is what I call your “Happy Place.” It’s a place that helps you unwind and relax when things are just a bit too much! Keeping a happy place is one of the best assets to keeping negativity out of your mind and heart. 

Make time for you!
I know this one is always hard for me. Being a mom to three children and running so many projects, my main priority is always taking care of everyone else. Yes, of course, we still need to do our motherly duties, but I think we forget that we are important too! Take time for yourself. Take a nice relaxing bath, go to the movies, shop a little. (In moderation of course! Then we will be worried about what we bought!) We need to always understand we matter too!

Cut out Negativity
This is also a bad habit to break because it pertains to so many things. This could be eliminating negative people, gossip, and just anything that is not released into this world in a positive way. I know lately, turning on the television brings instant negativity. I’m not sure why we can’t hear about all the good things that happen in and around Houston? But, it does seem that we only hear about the bad things happening which can have a huge negative impact. I personally stop watching the news. It was just a bit much for me and it has helped. Figure out where your negativity is in your life and release it! Believe me, you will feel so much better when you do!

Staying positive can help you feel great and express greatness in the world. Smiling at those around you, showing kindness to those around you and encouraging and sharing the positive vibes will make impacts on everyone you meet. Bringing kindness and positivity into the world begins in our home. I make it a point to show my children to be kind and treat those around us with respect. It all begins with you and you can make that change in the world.

My name is Erica Martinez. I am a mother to two children and one future stepson... so really 3 beautiful children. I am a writer and event planner. I own my own company Socially Elevated. I love making new friends and being a part of a group of strong women!
IG: @tx_southerngirl 

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