::Things to consider when making Big Decisions::

A couple of weeks ago I received an email, one that I truly wasn't expecting. I was accepted to participate in the Mujeres de HACE, Women in Leadership program. While it was a huge honor and I felt overwhelmed and excited. There would be a cost for the program. I immediately wrote it off as, "it's not gonna happen" but then I "placed it out in the universe" and the magic began. Through a facebook post, I expressed my feelings and concerns. I received so many comments and so much encouragement that I began to think, this might just happen! 

{Only a few of  the 33 comments, full post here.}

After seeing the awesome facebook feedback, I thought, I need to go home and really talk to my Husband and see what he thinks. I sent him the email I received for him to review, he is the logic and financial person in our relationship. I thought, he won't see the value, he will think it's a waste of my money, he will write it off as "eh do you really want to do this?" and I will be persuaded to move on. That didn't happen at all. I came home, asked my Husband, what do you think? He began to tell me how it would be a relevant program, and that it would be up to me, if I wanted to do it, then go for it. Not what I expected. 

Then I asked HACE for types of payment options I had for the program and the wonderful administrative team suggested I ask my employer and sent me a letter to ask them for possible funding. I was a bit intimidated having only been at my company for about 9 months but moved forward. And, I've received good, positive feedback from my manager. I am still waiting on higher-ups to decide if they can help but still, I had the faith and courage to ask and I feel that's the first step to success. Plus my co-worker and immediate managers' response was so supportive I felt so good about having asked. 

With this experience I know will come great responsibility but as always I want to share this journey with all the Momma's that read my blog and seek to be inspired. 

What have I learned so far? Well, you must... 

::Claim your ticket:: 

Opportunities come to you for a reason, whether expected or not we should claim our tickets and figure out what we need to do to succeed in those opportunities. Sure, you should weigh out the pros and cons but know that this is yours, and you deserve it! Claim it! Speak it into existence and have faith that you will find your way.  Somebody once told  me, "Connie if this is for you, it's already yours." Those words have been with me for years... because it's true. Anything that is truly and genuinely meant for you, is already written into your future, you just have to take it and run! 

::Take Care of You::

The same night that I talked to my Hubby about this program was the same night of the new show 'Strong'. One of the contests said that same old story of mommas everywhere... "I became too invested in caring for others, that I often forget to take care of myself." After I cried my face out, I thought, this program is all about taking care of ME. As a Momma with a career and who wants to be a certain example for her family and most importantly for my daughter, I must take care of me! No more putting ourselves on the back burner... because you will be burned out. 

::Invest in You::

Just like a well-oiled business, your are a brand and a business for your company, you must invest in bettering yourself and learning more for the benefit of everyone. Sure it can seem like a lot of time and money but in the long run, it's so worth it. Spending on yourself isn't only about clothes and shoes, it's also about feeding your mind and motivating your soul. I am sure we can find "better" things to spend our money on but we can also waste it on those things that have no real value, so why not invest in yourself. You must put a little effort into being a better you, even if it costs you. 

::Own It::

Not like "Yay, I did it" but YES, this is mine and I will slay! You know that moment Beyonce walks on stage and you know she is gonna be a badass, well she knew that before taking the first step onto that stage. That natural vibe of certainty is where you want to be. That confidence that yes, THIS IS MINE. I deserve it, I will own it and I will be a badass. It's already yours if you are sitting in the moment and experience, no one can take it from you and don't allow the outside world to take it from you. It's none of their business, it's yours! 

::Fully Commit:: 

There is nothing that hurts me more than people who are like yes, I can and will do this but then a few days later they have more important commitments or other priorities. I know things happen and people's lives change from one second to another, but if you have been accepted into a certain path, why not fully commit? Why not erase self-doubt and stop making excuses? Just like we have made sacrifices, invested money and weighed out the good and the bad to accept the opportunity; those people presenting us with the opportunity have done the same. They have fit you into their schedule so why not commit to doing the same for them? So yes, please fully commit to those things that will be beneficial to your well-being and in the long wrong to your overall quality of life. 

Developing Self-Worth {Time & Talents}

It is true that our lives go through many stages and seasons if you will. I know that for years, I went to school, I volunteered and did as much as I could in the Hispanic Community here in Houston. Then, I graduated from college, became a Wife and then a Momma and my life and priorities changed and shifted, in so many ways and in a new direction. 

Today, I have been unemployed for 7 months. I start to think about this journey of being a Stay at Home Momma coming to an end and new journey, a new beginning taking place and it makes me sad. A little bittersweet. I almost want to cry and cling to my house. But, then I think about my time and my talents. 

Since my son was born and almost since I started my Blogging journey in 2008 I have wanted to become a Stay at Home Momma. Then, last year in October after a very frightening series of events, life changing if  you will, I become one. Here I am 7 months later. A survivor after 7 months at home with not one but DOS toddlers. My hats off to all those Momma's at home with more than DOS. Because this Momma can not do it.

The lessons learned here in my home have been those of growth and perseverance and always one DAY at a time and most days, ONE minute at a time. The moods, the emotions were ever changing. The depression and feelings of help-less ness were overwhelming at times.  And, today. I live to tell you that if I can do it, you can too! It's easy. You clean and expect for it to get dirty, you wash and expect to wash again, you cook and expect to cook all day... but you know what... the time that I have spent with my children the last 7 months has been priceless. No matter what happens today or tomorrow, I will always have the 7 months that I tried the whole being a Stay at Home Momma situation. 

"The struggle you're in today, is developing the strength you need for tomorrow"

~Unknown 

I realized back in January that what I wanted for my children and for my life; and needed in order for my children to be successful and learn from example was to find a new job. Something new. Something different. A new journey. 

I am working on it. I feel close. And, then I thought. Why? Where? And, how will this new journey affect my time and use my talents. I pray every day that my purpose shines through in everything that I do and in everything that I have become. And, sometimes I think...I don't have to be out and about in this world to fulfill a purpose, as a Wife and Momma alone I am fulfilling a purpose. 

Yet, these days. I feel like I am being called to do more. Yes, I know that for financial reasons and because of student loan debt we need for me to become once more a Working Outside the Home Momma but still I think that this time this is really going to be easier because I am doing all those things needed to follow the direction for my life. 

Trust me, it took me a long time to get to this place of acceptance and willingness. But, I am here and I am ready. 

I know that we are NOT all made to be awesome Stay at Home Momma's. I never sought out to be that perfect Momma or the most crafty, the most teachable, the most organized, or the most whatever whatever.... I wanted to rest and be at home with my kids. If during that time I could learn to be organized, be crafty and use my time for things that I love like spending time with my children and blogging well then so be it. I am now ready for the next stage, the next level, the next anything that life wants to bring me. 

I will admit for a minute there I felt weak, and as if I had reached my max in this life! But, then I prayed and I changed my thoughts and my willingness to listen not just to my heart but to my surroundings. And, guess what. I am recharged. Inspired. Motivated and prepared. 

I also learned a thing or two about how I was manifesting those feelings. So, I have also changed my eating habits and my daily activity levels. {More on that later.... } 

The questions in my brain tonight: Have I been using my time and talents accordingly? How will I use them now? And, what kind of talents will shine though as a cause of this breakthrough? What about you? Are you living in a new stage and seeking a new challenge? 

Developing Self-Worth {Career}

The other day I wrote about my faith and how much I have grown and learned over the years. Today, I want to tackle the Career aspect of Developing Self-Worth.

I have had a pretty good range of experiences in my life. From cleaning houses in the Summer when I was in High School with my Momma and my Tia to working in a Downtown office for corporate America. I had never really been without work. Or never really had to "find" a job. Most my positions were obtained because I knew someone. 

The last 6 months have definitely been an experience, not just the Staying@ Home part but the job seeking and seeking my "dream" job. When I was younger my ambitions were limitless. I wanted it all. The perfect job with the best salary and the best boss, with all the amenities and yes, my own corner office in a high rise building. Truth is, who doesn't! Then I started looking for this job and though I am sure that it is out there...I realized what I am really after is environment, flexibility and appreciation. For a company to capture my heart. To feel an excitement that I have not felt in years. 

Truth is. My dream job is one that I can learn and grow in. No matter how long it takes me. If the "amenities" come with it, then so be it. I just realized that companies these days can really make you doubt your self-worth and over all {monetary} worth. I know it shouldn't be all about the money but as a growing family we definitely have to calculate all of the necessities. And, ultimately as individuals we know how much we are worth. We also know the amount of work that it has taken us to be where we are. 

I think that overall if a job is good to you and takes your family into consideration and values your time spent with them then that to me can ultimately become your "dream" job, in the making. It doesn't have to be in a "perfect" place, with "perfect" people and "perfect" circumstances...it can be just about anywhere and I doubt it has to be fancy or of "high prestige". We are who we are because of what we make out of our own unique situation.

When I received my college diploma I thought I was on top of the world, the truth is that in order to make it anywhere you have to work hard and long to get out of it what you put into it. As cliche as that may sound, it's true. 

No matter what we do in life, it's going to take work and true dedication. I know now that what I have been  seeking most my adult life hasn't been a "dream" job but instead, "the" job... and everything else will only be shown through time and continuous dedication. 

In the mean time..I continue to seek and wait. And, wait and seek. It will come. One day....

Developing Self-Worth {Faith}

I will always be the first to admit that it's been a challenge to transition from years, and years of working crazy amount of hours, crazy amount of jobs in a crazy work environment outside the home to working crazy amount of hours, crazy amount of jobs in a crazy work environment inside the home. Ha. It's true. As someone who has worked outside the home their entire life, I prayed daily to become a Stay@HomeMomma, now that it has finally happened it's been, well. Yes, Crazy. 

Stressful. Overwhelming. Unexpected. 

I didn't picture the demand, the job itself, and the amount of patience it took to stay home with a 3 year old and a 2 year old. It's been chaos. Every day a little better but definitely a new challenge as the days go by....if that makes sense. Finding a balance has been difficult but slowly I am finding a new pace of life, a new schedule and my niche within my home. 

The balance is found in preparation, growth and learning from your mistakes. I believe being pampered on the outside can be just as important as being pampered within. When we make a change to our exterior being we feel great on the inside; proud and loved. When we make a change on our inner being, it shines through to the outside. I think people notice when you get a haircut but they notice even more when you have peace and happiness on the inside.

I am what I like to call an "open-minded non-traditional Catholic". I understand all the values and morals taught but I don't like to limit myself to one set of strict views because I feel that you can miss out on something so much bigger and so much more amazing. I believe in a true blend of the old traditional views mixed with new forms of worship of praise. A balance. Never one extreme or the other. 

In my almost 32 years of life, I have always "been" a Catholic. It wasn't until I turned 24 that I knew what having faith was. It was then that I not only opened my heart but my mind to new ways of thinking. I knew I loved praying to the Virgen de Guadalupe and that I believed in Jesus and the Saints. But, the traditional way of worship and praise just didn't fulfill this seeking and thirsty little heart of mine. I dove straight into my church and became more involved that is when I started to find new ways of worship and praise that weren't the traditional nights of praying the Rosary. This time I was deep in meditation and peace that only God could bring me.

I would sit in a quiet dark church and ask Jesus to sit with me to show me His light and guide me. And, as crazy as this may sound many, many days His presence was there and I had peace and a new sense of belief.

These days. I attend mass and read my Momma Devotional Bible {Mom's Devotional Bible NIV} and I also pray day in and day out for different reason. I wear medallas de Santos and light candles. I also attend events at different churches that I know my soul will benefit from, not always Catholic churches and I definitely enjoy it. 

Just this weekend I attend the annual Women's Event at New Hope Church in Pearland. It was my 2nd year attending and the message was awesome last year it was about Marriage and Relationships. This year it was about us; as Momma's, Wives, Daughters, Sisters, etc. We are all human and we all make mistakes. We can't please everyone and as Women we need God in our daily lives to guide us and lead us onto the path that He has planned for us. I Loved it. I know I will definitely make it a yearly event. Plus, I  got to spend time with my Beautiful Amiga Yvonne from Spanglish Girl which is always fun! 

On finding my Dream Career......

What I learned about myself and about being a Stay-@-HomeMomma....yes, I know it's only been about 3 months but trust me, I have learned my lessons well..

Right now. It's not the best thing for us..."you see the way my bank account is set up"...totally had to throw that in there...

First of all, the cleaning and laundry is NEVER ever, ever, ever done. Simple as that. It isn't. That's all. I mean before I had the excuse of; I worked 8{plus} hours today you expect this house to be spotless... now, I have uhm some excuses but really none. So, my theory is we should as Stay-@-HomeMomma's have like a Cleaning Fairy or something, one who comes in at night, cleans it all up and allows you to sleep 8{plus} hours and be all cute and dressed up during the day. No? Not happening? Yeah, I didn't think so. All, I have got to say is... if your home is spotless and you have 2 toddlers at home either you come to my house and help me out or you must not live with people who sleep standing up, don't produce waste, or who don't eat, wear clothes or play with toys. Just sayin'! {not a rant, just a Momma observation}

Secondly. YES,  My kids need me and my care and love. But, they have that regardless of me staying at home and as much as I count, say the ABCs and read to them....they need professional structure, instruction and learning tools.{I think.} Because, let's get this right, being a teacher; at home or in a school, is a gift. A talent that one is given with patience and a true passion for well, teaching. I for one, was NOT granted that kind of awesome gift, I barely made it through High School and College. Don't get me wrong, I am not dumb, I just don't feel qualified to be my children's teacher. Maybe later in life but for now, I would rather leave it up to the professionals. Who at my Son's daycare are AWESOME. I trust them and have faith that their daily instruction has done a lot for Santiago's daily structure and routine. Yes, it's a cost but it's worth it. Not to mention his speech and language have improved tremendously.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love. I adore. I live for my children. But, part of achieving my 2013 goals, personal and on many other levels is discovering what my true talents and gifts are. I love being at home and I think I do a good job but there are areas where I know that I would be of better help if I assisted rather than led. Simply said, being a Stay@HomeMomma is a gift that I have not fully developed yet. I know MANY awesome Stay@HomeMomma's but now I can honestly say..it's not totally for me.

The Dream Career..it's what I am after and seeking. It's what I am learning about myself and gaining confidence for each day. I believe that God has brought me here to this place not only to help me discover who I am but also where He thinks I would be of greater use for His purpose in my life. I am after it everyday from now on.

Now you may recall that I left my Full-time employment due to a full blown panic attack..well don't get me wrong, I am not easily taken, and I have done a lot as far as work goes, I just needed a break. I worked for over 4 years many jobs and through pregnancies and illness to help my Hubby get through school. It was my turn to relax for a bit and I have. And, now I will seek a job that will BETTER fit not only the financial needs of my family but one that has a better work to life balance and more suiting schedule for us. I know it's out there and it may take some time, but I know that God will lead me there in His timing. I trust and have faith in His love and His timing for my family.
 

{2012} In Review

It's crazy to think that just yesterday, or so it seems like it, 2012 was just starting so fresh, so new......

Then I looked at my first post from 2012; and WOW! What a difference a year makes:

::{Click here} FIRST POST OF 2012::

This year was GREAT.

{Click on EACH month to read related posts or see pictures!}
In March; Cami turned ONE! We had a fiesta and a wave of Momma-melt downs began. Many may not know this but this year I battled fiercely with Momma Blues {some type of PPD}. It wasn't fun, therapy helped and after a major melt-down and full-blown panic attack in September, I quit my Full-time job to be a Stay-@-Home-Momma. {Read about it ::here:: ::here:: and ::here::}

In May; My Hubby graduated from college with his Bachelor's degree!!!! GO HUBBY  & GO COOGS!!! Whoop-Whoop!!!

In June; I turned 31. Officially a year in my 30's in 6 months, I will be 32! Wow, just yesterday, I was 18. Wow.

In July; The Hubby landed a pretty sweet job opportunity and it's helped us realize a lot about ourselves and our accomplishments. My Hubby is incredibly smart and an amazingly hard working person. I love him. Lots.

In August; My Hubby  turned 33! Wow! We met when he was 17. Crazy huh?

In September; My Santi turned 3!!! 3!!!! He won't be a baby much longer...makes me sad. A lot. A lot! I also quit my job this month after a not so good event; to become a Stay-@-Home-Momma. Which may be ending soon... because well... it just happens...

In October; a new journey began and I attended my FIRST ever official BLOGGER Conference!!!! Thanks to the Latism Houston Chapter and their sponsorship!!!! Say whaaaa'?? It was great, great month!!! ::PICTURES HERE::

Now it's December 31st, the last day of the year... it's bittersweet....leaving behind all the good and the BAD that happened in 2012 but always remembering that NO MATTER what God was there with us EVERY.SINGLE.STEP.OF.THE.WAY.

As a constant reminder of my faith in 2012, I had some very, very harsh moments but I remained faith-ful and in prayer and God knew when I should have a melt-down and when I needed to be fierce! In everything I did in 2012; failures, successes, happiness, sadness, tears and joy...I honestly looked for God and trusted in Him to give me ever lasting strength... everyday. Every time. As I sit here on the last day of 2012; I want to thank not only my friends and family who remained constant and by my side with their never ending love and support but also Thank You to all the NEW and amazing friends that I added to my Blog, Facebook, and contact book! I love you all and I pray that you and your families have an amazingly wonderful new year!!!!!

Many Blessings. 

2 Corinthians 5:17

New King James Version (NKJV)

¹⁷ Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

See Ya' Next Year!!!!!!!!

{On Direction} #2013

Christmas is gone. My family is going through a difficult time right now. One that when the time is right I will discuss for now I ask for prayers and time.....

I haven't uploaded my Christmas pictures, in part because my BIGGEST surprise this year was a present! An actual present. The way my Hubby works is that ever since we got married we decided that presents were not important. Moments have been. So, we don't get hung up on what to give one another and every year... the expectations are less but I still get a very well thought out present that I love and use! One year I got a hot pink blow-dryer, which I totally needed, my old one was...OLD. Another year I got a gift card to NY& Co. Which was perfect for work clothes! This year...tops it all! A brand-spankin'new camera! Which if you know me and my love for taking a million random pictures and you are my friend on FB I am totally taking the whole loading FB pictures, to a WHOLE.NEW.level! Haha.

But, with what we are going through, with Christmas, with 2013 just a few days away I want to really think about direction! For this little ol'Momma Blog, for Me as a Momma, for my family and my career and our future.

Life has been SO amazing to me in 2012 {reflections and look back at 2012 to follow soon} and I really want to make all this worth my while, my effort and my already spent time.

It's a difficult place to be but I know God has me here for a reason and just this morning my Son and I said a prayer for my future goals and I think that God has definitely given me so much more than I deserve. No, my life is NOT perfect. Never. No, I am not rich or have the fanciest and best, but my Hubby and I make it work everyday. Together. We are SO very Blessed. With truth, faith and love.

Am I ready for 2013? Yes, yes I am. 2012 has proven new strength and new hope in me and now I want to START over in 2013 and give my life a whole new DIRECTION. 

What about you?  Where has life taken you in 2012 and are you ready for 2013?

{Friday Letters} Week Dos ♥

{I made my own Friday Letters Icon!}

Dear Week,
Where the heck did you go?? No really it was Monday yesterday and today everyones all "the world is ending!" Dude, what'd you do to us?!
Haha.
See ya'maybe....

Dear Friday Letter,
I wrote you down  on paper, even if Ariana laughs at me, reason being.... my kids were on the computer and I needed to write my letters! And, guess what?? Week 2 of remembering to write you so, yay me! 
See ya soon!

Dear Hubby,
You went out last night. I don't say this much but you deserve a break from Major Crazy and her 2 Cadets Chaos and Mini-Drama. And, I don't say this enough, THANK YOU because you not only work hard every day to provide for us but you do it with love and without complaint. I love you. Also, Thank you for letting me have my own mini-break this week and letting me have dinner with my Momma friends as well.
Te amo.

Dear YouTube,
Some days you're a life saver, others your a bad choice of unrelated clips with little description as to what the next 10 minutes will entail or end in! Must remind myself to give you different settings....because my kids are learning to use this computer and yea, it's kinda crazy what they can get into... i.e. going from Angry Bird cartoons to 2 girls dancing "hit me baby one time"?? Wow. Never again. At least it was PG and you got Santi's attention for a whole 5 minutes...

Dear Santi,
This week you did an amazing job at yet another school program performance. This time we all were there to witness it; Your Daddy, Cami, Gran-Ma Chelo, Tio David and good friend Elizabeth. We all sat in the audience watching you with joy, cheering you on, your biggest fan like always...Cami...she loved seeing you sing and jingle those bells with all your might. You are amazing. We love you and I think you are a star in the making or at least a really cute boy who comes out in school programs!! After it was all said and done, you cried because we all had to leave and you stayed behind..but I didn't want you to miss your first school Christmas party! 
We love you my beautiful little man more than words can describe,
Yo Momma 

Dear Cami,
This week you made us laugh as you farted on command, you made us all sit on the edge of seats as you walked on the edge of yours, and you made me sad because you were sick.{Fever and vomit.} Through it all you have no fear. You are strong and your are silly just like your Daddy cause everyone knows Momma's don't fart. I pray that God gives you never ending fearless strength and health. That God protects your silly heart so that you can be a woman of marvelous faith and live a joyous life!
We love you my sweet baby more than words can describe,
Yo  Momma

Dear God,
Today marks a week since the most horrible incident in Newton, CT. I pray that you bring comfort and peace to all the aching Momma and Daddy hearts and to all those families mourning the loss of an Angel in their lives. May your love heal their pain and restore their faith in humanity and in sense of security, because I know mine has been shattered and only prayer can bring it back. In Jesus Name.
Amen.

{Houston Area Women's Center} #stoptheviolence

Many may not know this about me but I have witnessed violence in the home first hand. {I don't plan on giving out details, when it happened I told many people in hopes that it would ease the pain, I went to church, I spoke to my Boyfriend-He is now my Husband, I wrote about it, I cried about it, I thought about dying at my own hands over it. It was not the best time in my life but I also don't want to harm those whom I love with details or remembering what was. I lived through it. I survived and so did she.}

I was going to post about this regardless but with what happened on Friday I decided to make it a mini-series on my Blog. #stoptheviolence

Domestic Violence of any form is a difficult and tramautizing experience. Trust me. I have been there. In the dark with the thought of, what if I just stop breathing, it will stop the pain. After years of it and fed up, I was grown and after feeling powerless at one point in my life, I had suddenly gained strenght, wisdom, age and courage. Courgae that was built after years of horrifiying stories, first hand accounts, and one call to the HAWC. I stood in a room, with the adrelanie rush and telling my story of intervention, prevention and attempting to save a life. I then found myself in a waiting room on Montrose. Could this be real? ME. I was living this. With a loved one. So much pain. So many terrify events. The emotional. The physical. The abuse on so many levels. The pain on a level I never knew I could reach.

After days, weeks and months of healing...now years... the pain, empowerment. The memories, my strength and my courage. I will never, NEVER allow this to happen to a loved one EVER. Again.

Which is why I am here now. Telling you that if you are suffering ANY kind of abuse you too can overcome, survive and heal.

3 weeks ago I was invited to attend the taping of Great Day Houston. I sat in the audience and a first hand account of what live TV is like. It was exciting and an awesome opportunity. But, I wasn't sure if anyone else was there for the same reason that I was. I had survived violence in the home. I was there to assist in representing the Houston Area Women's Center, we wore red. The color of pain and hope when you live through and survive what I have see, heard and lived. I felt honored. Humbled. And, an amazingly overwhelming feeling to have been able to put YEARS of violence behind me. Years of silence in the open. It's a freeing sitiuation.










I am here today to ask you to donate and help in any way possible for an extremenly good cause. One that saved my life and that of my loved ones. One that has restored my faith in life, love and marriage.

I thank the Houston Area Women's Center for one day holding our hand and giving us hope.

I thank Frida for the opportunity and allowing me to be a part of something so great and simple as to sit and represent a cause and for a place that one day harvested safety and new hope for those of us who have lost it.

Go to the following links to help the HAWC::HERE:: and ::HERE::
Go to the following link to learn more about Frida ::HERE::

If you need help getting out of a violent situation and are scared to move forward know that the person hurting you will never hurt you if you stop giving them the power to do so. ::CLICK HERE FOR HELP::

Prayers for those in pain.

Momma Disclosure: This is not a compensated OR sponsored post. This is however a subject that is very near and dear to my heart which is why I chose to share it.  The above statements are both true and actual experiences.

{El Dia de la Virgen de Guadalupe} #tradiciones

As the years begin to pass and celebrations come about I am thinking that November/December will be one of our favorite seasons! There is so much to do, so many traditions to hold near and just so much love and hope in the air.

One thing that I know for sure is that as the time passes and the kids get older I have come to realize that what I want most for this holiday season is to make it a memorable one for OUR little family of 4! As selfish as that may sound, I want my kids to know that when times were tough and situations came about what mattered most was US; my Hubby, my Cami, my Santi and myself.

Because when the kids think back and look at our memories together I don't ever want them to say; my parents threw huge fancy Christmas parties with all their friends and family....I want them to say... that we had a humble, happy, loving, gathering with Jesus in our home; even if it was just us and our faith and love for another. It's what my little heart is yearning. For my children to know that the reason for the Holiday's is because Jesus was born and our lives were saved. Because, we are Mexican we have HUGE celebrations when it comes to Birthday's and other life events, but when I grew up, the Holiday's were about prayer, coming closer to the One who was born to be our Saviour. We did this through celebrations like; las fiestas y misa del Dia de La Virgen de Guadalupe, las Posadas, la Noche Buena, y Navidad. I don't remember HUGE fancy parties. I remember prayer, family and awesome food...las bolsitas, los tamales, las piñatas! These are my favorite memories growing up. Playing with my cousins on cold winter nights after almost 2 hours of prayer...my Grandmother was intense! Ha. And, a lot of love and faith being planted in our hearts.

Which is why, when it comes to traditions and celebrations I try to make them count and make them memorable. Every year more and more!

{Friday Letters} ♥ Numero 1

Dear Friday Letters,

I made it! I am here! I remembered and I joined in...say whaatt??

Until Next week. 

Dear Week!

It's been a good one! A lot of fun activities. Productive on the Blog, not so much at home. We will catch up next week. You've been good to me. Check back next week to see how we are doing.

Peace out. 

Dear Post Office,

I have had a bad impression of you. But, in my visit this week I was taken back to the days when you were relevant and nothing was done via the World Wide Web. You've brought me good memories this week.

Gracias!

Dear Life,

Thank you. I can't complain.

Love you. 

Dear Hubby ♥

You are the best. We are not perfect. We are not rich. But, we make it work! Everyday. All the time. I love you. You are sitting patiently behind me while I type; the kids running wild and you are waiting for me to start the Batman movie. Thank You so much for your love, understanding, patience and support.

Sincerely,

Your Crazy Wife aka Momma! 

Dear Kids♥

I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART. ALWAYS. AND FOREVER. WE ARE BLESSED.

Love always,

Yo Momma! 

Thank you for joining me for my first edition of Friday Letters!!!

Hope you enjoyed them and check out some of the ladies that inspired me to begin this series!!

Sabz over at The Eclectic Grab Bag: http://www.theeclecticgrabbag.com/2012/12/friday-letters-7.html
Mariel over at Living for His Glory: http://livingforhisglory2.blogspot.com/2012/11/friday-letters_30.html

Thank You ladies for the awesome inspiration!!!

Beliefs and Curanderas..... #maldeojo

{Disclaimer: Yes, I am Catholic. While I am Catholic I don't have a limited or closed minded view about religion, faith and seeking God in your own manner and beliefs. I would NEVER attempt to make others think, believe or pray the way I do. So, please be kind with your thoughts and words. I believe in Jesus, the Father and the Holy Spirit as well as the, the Virgin Mary & the Virgen de Guadalupe and all the Saints.}

I am not usually a "disclaimer" type of person. I am who I am, my faith is my own and I really don't believe in making others convert or thinking like me ever. We are all entitled to our own feelings, thoughts and beliefs.





With that said.

The other day I caught myself trying to "sweep" my son with an egg, you know how the Curanderas do or in my case my Momma does. My Son was not in the mood for anything and he had maybe the worse freak out moment while I was attempting to bathe him. I asked him if he was OK, I checked him to see if he was hurt and moments after the episode and without knowing what to think I started to pray with fervor over my son.

I usually pray with or over my children before bed or in the morning but this day, it was a different kind of prayer and I had no idea how or what but I felt like I needed to take action. Trust me it wasn't anything medical because I know my son and he was fine. Had I felt that he had to go to the Hospital I would have taken him. I am a fairly new Momma but I know my children well and I tend to trust my instincts pretty well.

I then thought of finding him an amuleto, in particular the ojo de venado bracelet to protect him from el mal de ojo and  evil spirits. Was I going over board or just being a Momma and thinking of everything I can do for my child? I don't know but he has not had an episode since and I have been lighting my candles and praying over my home every night. It brings me peace. As prayer usually does.

My Momma usually likes to bathe them and then pray over them with the egg...it gives her peace of mind... I don't mind it and as long as what we do is pray...I never see anything wrong with it. Am I weird? Maybe. Am I Mexican? For sure.

How about you? Your Momma or Abuelita ever try to do any special ritual for you or your kids?   

{On Letting Yourself Go...} #embracingwhoiam

First off...Luke Bryan... love.

Yesterday, I wrote about my constant battle with weight and my self-love and confidence.

These days, I stay home. I am usually in jeans, chanclas, or tennis shoes, a t-shirt.... hair pulled back..no make-up and a smile. I love my life. I love my children. I love my Husband. But, some days, I don't feel like dressing up and feeling fabulous BUT I realize the importance of it.

Que,que?

I know who I am and what I look like on a daily basis and I value the importance of self-image and looking good for yourself and for your Hubby. I have some pretty amazing women in my life and as I looked through my Facebook the other day I saw so many beautiful girls and thought...I can be as put together as them...I just have to make the time and the effort. It's important and I realize it now more than ever.

Being at home with kids all day can make me a very grumpy Momma like person. I don't want that for myself..or my family and especially not my children and Hubby. I love them too much so I should show myself some love and not just feel fit and healthy but LOOK fit and healthy.

Trust me it's a constant up and down feeling and it's not always easy for me.

I try.

I will continue to seek that place where I can just be me and be happy but I don't want to settle for anything less than my best. I loved this past weekend. I got to dress up and go out with my Hubby. I felt amazing. I felt great.

The song above just made me ask myself the question...DO I? And, I know I do, I just need to be more consistent with it all!

So many middle aged emotions tugging at my heart this week.... oh the woes of being 31... 32 in June! It's been a ride and I am ready to take it to the next level!

{Embracing Who I am} #weightbattle

Who am I?

I am a 31 year old Momma of Dos. 31. Not 21, not 18. 31. 





When I first met my Husband I was 18, a size 12 and had no children. I have always battled with my weight though. I have been a size 2 at my smallest when I was about 23 or 24....and I have been a size 18 at 9 months pregnant and 200lbs. These days I am at 175. Size 14 or so. My goal these days is NEVER to look, or be "hot". I want to be healthy and comfortable with myself and who I am not my weight or what society thinks I should look like. I want to be happy and feel good.

As a woman it's a difficult situation. The emotional baggage that comes with constant weight battle is deep. The fears and the disappointment take a toll mentally, emotionally, and physically. I give up constantly, the meltdowns and breakouts get real. Then I regain my confidence and strength to move on.

This weekend we had my Husband's Company Christmas Party. I am not scared to admit that there were women there who looked amazing and are probably really great people as well. But, my confidence runs low sometimes and without the constant reassurance that my Husband provides about not only my capability to be and about the way  I look I am not sure I would ever recover... but I have and I do.





I love who I am. But, I am human and insecurities in me do exist. Some days or nights I am not as confident about myself and who I am as I used to be when I was 21 or 18. It takes work. A lot of work. It takes confident boosters and kind words and patience from my Husband's part. It's takes a little prayer and constant brain fight on my part. I am NOT a super young girl anymore but that doesn't mean I don't want to be fit and sexy. It just means that the reasoning and motivation behind my weight lose should be, I think, driven by some pretty well thought out and reasonable motives.

So, today I am proclaiming that my motives to be fit, healthy and yes...sometimes sexy are:

So that I can run and not get tired of running around in the yard with my  kids.
So that I can be healthy and live a long life with my children and Hubby.
So that I can feel happy and comfortable in my own skin.
So that I can love who I am and embrace my body and figure as it is. 
So that I can try on a dress and not feel like I should choke the girl in the dressing room next me who keeps telling her mom how "big" the size 6 dress fits her! {Just sayin'...keepin' it real. Trust me I said a prayer and contained myself!}
So that I can embrace who I am and who I have become.
So that no one else can define what I "should" look like or WHO I should look like.

I am me. I will NEVER look like any other "young hottie", I will always look like me. A grown woman with two amazingly beautiful children and a great guy next to me who supports me no matter how crazy jealous wife {being totally real here} I get on him. I am beyond Blessed and who I am and how I feel should reflect that. Everyday.

{Blah-ness & a Girls Lunch} ♥

I don't ever want my Blog to be overwhelming or forced...it's never been my intention to just write....whether my purpose was to learn to write or share my everyday life it was never intended to be fake or meaningless and without purpose....with that said. 

This week I went through a bit of a BLAH moment. I am sure you have had those weeks. Where you just don't want to do, be, or write. I have them and I take advantage of them to think, to recollect, to regroup, and to just be. The weather in Houston has been "icky" for lack of a better word. This week we had kind of a gloomy start with clouds, rain and a blueish silver tone to the sky. No? Maybe it was just me. When the weather is "blue", I get BLAH. It's not fun. "Blame it on the rain...."{no pun intended. Haha.}

I am sure I have written about my down moments in the past and really I don't think it's a bad thing. I think a little break and a melodramatic meltdown are in order to write heartfelt and genuine posts!

I think....

Needless to say. This week was really exciting and definitely a productive one! {But, Now I have some Blogging to catch up...don't be surprised if I double up on post this weekend!}

Not only did I finish putting my Christmas tree up but I finished washing laundry...does anyone want to come over and fold it and put it away for me? Hahaha. {BTW. I am adding some Ha's as opposed to my regular. Ha. Because apparently my Hubby has been reading my Blog and he doesn't like the way my ONE Ha. READS. Critics, I tell ya'....Ha. Ha.}





By Thursday I had done so much that I took on a little extra "task" which I will write about in another post..just because the topic is very near and dear to my heart. And, this morning I thought a girls lunch would be a nice treat! So, I headed out to Northside Houston, to meet up with some good friends that I used to work with... I have only been gone from work for about 2 months and it feels like forever!!! We went to one of our favorite places....Teotihuacan. We had an awesome time and the food was YUMMA!!

My friend Pam, gave my Cami and my friend Christina's daughter Celeste some SOAP. It's not just any soap and as soon as I have the information I will totally give it to you. Because not only are they super cute soaps, they smell good and are made from the best products. I can't wait to get more information. Pam's Son and Daughter-in-Law make them...I thought it was a very thoughtful and creative gift! The girls loved it.  I have some pretty amazing friends!!!

And, now since I figured Flickr out...some pictures! Yay!

En grandes platicas....




Camila's awesome gift! So, creative and crafty!!! Love it!!!! {The website for the soaps is: http://soapier.com/} Enjoy!!!!

http://soapier.com/

{On getting Motivated & Inspired} ♥

When I worked in an office outside my home and had a desk to go to every morning; I had little sticky notes around my desk and computer that gave me constant reassurance, motivation and sometimes inspiration on what, how, when and where. At home I have a lot of different areas where my motivation is present but it seems that the place where I spend most my time is lacking it. My at home work station. Or this computer! Ha. Funny, huh?


So, I am working on building my space...not to be confused with "MySpace" does anyone use that anymore...I digress. My personal space and it's inspiration. I want to be happy and motivated while I write as well as inspired to create new items and work in peace on what makes me happy.....

My house is definitely a part of who I am, how I see life and where I want to go. Every room is and will be filled with the things that are unique to my family. The colors, the furniture, the pictures! Everything represents who my family has become and how much we have grown in the last 7 years since the Hubby and I got married!

I plan on building on it everyday and create a place where my family eats, sleeps, creates and dreams! For now here is some progress ::insert mini-house tour here:: Welcome to our home... I don't have a big fancy house with a lot of expensive things or furniture but everything I have put into this house comes from a special place in my heart to make it a home and from a lot of hand-me-down kind of people {especially my Hubby's Dad and my Momma}.

Tour of what makes my little life turn....

This is the space I am currently working to enhance. Ha.

Here is what that space looks like now...still working on a better desk!

 This is my living room:

 View from my hallway...

Glimpse into an unfinished room... my kids room.

Trust me there is  much work to be done in my house..one day we will finish it all..One day.

What makes you remain motivated? What are special places that you wish to enhance for added inspiration?

No. Really. Thanksgiving is next week!

No, REALLY. Thanksgiving is next week....

I am NO where.near.being.ready.for.a.holiday!

Seriously. I have no clue what I will make. I have NO decorations up...Not sure why but I am not too bummed about that.

We have a very BIG family. My Hubby's family lives minutes away from us, while my family lives about an hour or so away in Downtown Houston. Before we had kids there was never a discussion, we could go to one house and then the next.... then came the grand-kids. The "discussion" was, where will we go first...well last year I decided to end that discussion and have the first ever Gomez/Leon Family Thanksgiving here in our home. It was awesome we had a lot of fun, too much food and lots to be Thankful for...this will be the second year!

Only this year..I am not sure why but my focus and brain are elsewhere...I want my children to have this family sense of Thanksgiving and realize that we are thankful and should be thankful that we have two amazing families that  want to spend the Holiday's with us, together! But, I don't know why I am also thinking that less is more this year...in part because I don't have a full-time outside the home job right now,  for the first time in the last 6 years.....

I want my children to value being humble and poor in spirit as well as family and feasting. Tomorrow we will celebrate Thanksgiving with Santi at his school, our FIRST time ever and for some reason...I have a feeling that, that moment will count for many Thanksgiving to come...

The creation and Blessing of our own little family...Team Gomez ::party of FOUR:: has been more than enough for me and any added Blessings are well...just that....added Blessings. 

I don't want my children to think that Thanksgiving is only about the super yummy food you get to eat ::just sayin':: but also about being Thankful that we have the food... and that we are able to share our table with loved ones.

I pray that God can help me portray this and convey it in a manner that my children can understand not just this year but years to come....

We have SO much to be Thankful for this year... and I just hope everyone who has helped us get here to this place, realizes how much we appreciate them! And, yes...how very Thankful we are to have them in our lives.... {Ignore my funny smile face in the picture below... the day was super sunny!} Ha.

{On Following your dreams.....}

4 Weeks ago I quit my job, the same day I was notified that I would be sponsored to attend the LATISM conference, in the same week I was offered a pretty good full-time job which I declined. Crazy busy week?

Yes, kind of.

But, after attending the conference and meeting Lisa, Ruby, Ariana and many others, I learned that following your dreams NO matter what they may be is important. I am 31 years old. My kids are 3 years old and 18 months. If not now, when? When would I get another opportunity to purse and conquer... or what ever that saying is. Ha.

Probably never.

Now is the time. Do what you like. Take action. And, move forward! It's all I know.

Never give up and move on.

I believe and I have faith that a new future with brightness and happiness is out there for me... how long will take for me to achieve it? I don't know just yet. But, I do know I will not give up....

I will move on. For myself and for my children. They deserve a happy and available Momma. And, after meeting so many GREAT Momma's at the LATISM Conference I know that dreams come true and that dream jobs do exist! I want to get hired to my DREAM job. And, I will NOT give up!

No me dare por vencida.... nunca!

Find your motivation, find your inspiration, maintain relationships with people who push you forward and don't try to hold you back. Be motivated and inspired. Never lose sight of the happier picture and know that what you want and dream of....is out there! Search for it. Find it. It will come....

Proverbs 4:23

Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.

{Dia de Los Muertos} Culture Experience

When I was younger I remember building an altar around the tombs of our family members who were no longer with us. We would lay out picture of us with them and their favorite foods in their honor. Our belief was that on the Day of the Dead, their souls would come back to be amongst us and to enjoy our offerings. We would gather late at night and say a rosary in their remembrance, bring them flowers and celebrate their lives as we remembered them here on earth.

As a young child or teen I didn't think anything of it and wasn't even scared to participate in this late night stroll through the rundown cemeteries in Reynosa.  It wasn't just a tradition, it was part of our everyday. My Grandfather always says.... "no le tengas miedo a los muertos, te le mas miedo a los vivos...."

It's these small memories that make me who I am....it's these small memories that I want to pass on to my children... but like most people I am a visual person and I have a feeling my kids will be like that as well. Which is why I want to every year build on what they see and experience. If we can't go to Mexico then I want to bring Mexico to them. Huge? No, just some effort! I realize that the only way that our culture will not be lost in their generation is by making these small connections to big traditions.

This year I decided that we would start our Holiday's off by learning what a Dia de los Muertos altar was. So, I took my kids to see the beautiful exhibits over at Meca, here in Houston. It was small step for this Momma pero un paso mas hace nuestras tradiciones.

We had fun! See for yourself.....

{The Beautiful young lady in the picture was my lovely assistant for the day...her name is Erica and she is my Hubby's cousin. I love familia!}