Monday, May 6, 2013

Developing Self-Worth {Time & Talents}

It is true that our lives go through many stages and seasons if you will. I know that for years, I went to school, I volunteered and did as much as I could in the Hispanic Community here in Houston. Then, I graduated from college, became a Wife and then a Momma and my life and priorities changed and shifted, in so many ways and in a new direction. 

Today, I have been unemployed for 7 months. I start to think about this journey of being a Stay at Home Momma coming to an end and new journey, a new beginning taking place and it makes me sad. A little bittersweet. I almost want to cry and cling to my house. But, then I think about my time and my talents. 

Since my son was born and almost since I started my Blogging journey in 2008 I have wanted to become a Stay at Home Momma. Then, last year in October after a very frightening series of events, life changing if  you will, I become one. Here I am 7 months later. A survivor after 7 months at home with not one but DOS toddlers. My hats off to all those Momma's at home with more than DOS. Because this Momma can not do it.

The lessons learned here in my home have been those of growth and perseverance and always one DAY at a time and most days, ONE minute at a time. The moods, the emotions were ever changing. The depression and feelings of help-less ness were overwhelming at times.  And, today. I live to tell you that if I can do it, you can too! It's easy. You clean and expect for it to get dirty, you wash and expect to wash again, you cook and expect to cook all day... but you know what... the time that I have spent with my children the last 7 months has been priceless. No matter what happens today or tomorrow, I will always have the 7 months that I tried the whole being a Stay at Home Momma situation. 

"The struggle you're in today, is developing the strength you need for tomorrow"

I realized back in January that what I wanted for my children and for my life; and needed in order for my children to be successful and learn from example was to find a new job. Something new. Something different. A new journey. 

I am working on it. I feel close. And, then I thought. Why? Where? And, how will this new journey affect my time and use my talents. I pray every day that my purpose shines through in everything that I do and in everything that I have become. And, sometimes I think...I don't have to be out and about in this world to fulfill a purpose, as a Wife and Momma alone I am fulfilling a purpose. 

Yet, these days. I feel like I am being called to do more. Yes, I know that for financial reasons and because of student loan debt we need for me to become once more a Working Outside the Home Momma but still I think that this time this is really going to be easier because I am doing all those things needed to follow the direction for my life. 

Trust me, it took me a long time to get to this place of acceptance and willingness. But, I am here and I am ready. 

I know that we are NOT all made to be awesome Stay at Home Momma's. I never sought out to be that perfect Momma or the most crafty, the most teachable, the most organized, or the most whatever whatever.... I wanted to rest and be at home with my kids. If during that time I could learn to be organized, be crafty and use my time for things that I love like spending time with my children and blogging well then so be it. I am now ready for the next stage, the next level, the next anything that life wants to bring me. 

I will admit for a minute there I felt weak, and as if I had reached my max in this life! But, then I prayed and I changed my thoughts and my willingness to listen not just to my heart but to my surroundings. And, guess what. I am recharged. Inspired. Motivated and prepared. 

I also learned a thing or two about how I was manifesting those feelings. So, I have also changed my eating habits and my daily activity levels. {More on that later.... } 

The questions in my brain tonight: Have I been using my time and talents accordingly? How will I use them now? And, what kind of talents will shine though as a cause of this breakthrough? What about you? Are you living in a new stage and seeking a new challenge? 

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