::Writing the Next Chapter in Life::

Sunset, Destin, Florida 2017 

Not every story begins with a once upon a time or ends with a happily ever after... at least not in the way one might think. We all create the lives we want, based on the choices we make, our societal perceptions and truly the deck that life throws at you. I can't be upset about what someone else has that might be better than my situation, or circumstance. We all work hard to get to where we are, and if we don't put the work in and strive for better then, we remain. And, sometimes people are okay with this. 

Growing up I knew that going to college, getting married, having a career and kids was the "right" way of doing things. Even though no one else in my family had really followed this path, I did it all in this exact order. Along the way, life has thrown SO many obstacles at us, as life would, but we worked hard and created the life we wanted and deserved. But, then again, we don't always control certain circumstances or life's events and things can change suddenly and drastically. 

For years I've sought to figure out who I am. What I want and where I am going with this whole passion for writing and inspiring working moms deal. I've had my share of nay-sayers, people who didn't believe in me or what I was trying to achieve. For what, for who and why? In part because they didn't understand it, and honestly for a long time, I didn't either. 

I've never given up though. 

I've continued to build and grow my community of women, my tribe of Momma bosses, not truly knowing where I wanted to go with it. Do I know now? Probably not as clear as I would like. What I do know is that now my journey has created a new path. One where even though I might be judged and looked at like I've made the biggest mistake of my life, I can tell you that I've made the best choice for me. It's been a period of true transition for us here at Momma of Dos for a little over 9 months now. By us, I mean my children, myself and their dad. We now live in separate households and have created different routines and are continuously trying to establish a new normal for us all. A lot harder than one might imagine. All of this is new to us; the transition, the two homes, the arrangements and details of it all.  Lots of sadness, confusion, pain and hurt. 

But, I am not giving up now..... 

This blog has chronicled MANY, many years of our lives together. Now, our lives are being lived on two separate paths. It's not been easy and there is so much more I will share as I can. I appreciate the love, support, and respect of those on my social media outlets, in our immediate circle, in our families and our friends.  For obvious reasons, I have not been able to share, nor did I feel I had to, what was going on as openly as most would have liked but I feel we are getting to a place where I can be a little more open about it all. 

Things are still a little difficult and details are still falling into place but we are all moving forward and trying to make sense of a hard situation. 

Please note, I do not share this as a victim. I share this from a place where I have made decisions for myself that I felt were best for me moving forward.  I could sit and share all the negative and bad of the last few months, but that's not my plan at all for this space.  

::5 Ways to overcome a Challenge:: #WednesdayWisdom

I recently became aware that my coping skills are great, except when I'm under true pressure and stress, go figure! Challenges come in many forms; you can be overworked, having too much on your plate, dealing with difficult people, and really just about anything in life can become a challenge.  If you read about my mental breakdown in 2012 here, then you know how well I handled stress then. I've thankfully grown so much since then; mentally, physically, emotionally. And, I am now able to walk myself back into a good place.

Creating these strengths within myself has been vital to my overall success. 

Some of the best ways that I have learned to deal with it are as follows:

1) Talk it out- Like a really raw and serious talk with someone who will be REAL and RAW. For me, that person is my Husband. He tells me the things, I don't want to hear. And, we all need that one person. Who isn't going to tell you that, it's all going to be OK. Because sometimes, it's not going to be okay, and that is also OK. If that makes sense. (Bear with me here.) But, you want to have that one person who you can truly express your frustration too and will help you talk it out so that you can think of a solution. Sometimes, that person is a therapist. And, that is OK too.

I have had the ability to get therapy and it was truly freeing and very helpful! 

2) Have a moment (melt-down if you will)- the release is needed. A good friend told me a long time ago, "Connie, I'm going to let you have your pity party, but then I'm going to need you to put your big girl panties back on and get over it."  It's been the best most memorable pep-talk of my life. One, it came from a very loving place. She meant well and I knew it. She was allowing me to "have my moment" but then giving me the motivation to realize, I could get past it. Sometimes, it's ok to have that moment but don't give up. Keep pushing forward and you will see that it's so worth it.

Also, a rule of thumb. I have my meltdowns, alone, in a quiet place where I can truly reflect. 

3) Don't be a Victim- Accept that you too have faults and are allowing these things get to you. There is nothing worse than denial. And, don't get me wrong. I have been there. I pretend that everyone else has issues and I'm the victim they prey on. Nope. A lot of times I am my own issue. Whatever it is, I have been there. We all have faults. Instead of focusing on a "woe me mentality" push forward and think about the solutions and positive. It's often hard to see these when we are in the middle of something bad but trust me, steps 1 and 2 are a huge help.

Don't be a victim, be victorious! 

4) Care but not too much- I hate this advice. Because I am a person or was one, who cared so much all the time about what people thought about me or if I was playing nice. Well. (and, it's easier said than done.) Try not to care so much. Care enough that you know hard times can come, bad things happen and you will make it through. But, don't dwell on the feeling so much that it consumes you. As an overthinker, thoughts, and what-ifs slowly eat at my soul. I know I'm weird. But, it's true. Over time I have learned not to allow this to hinder my existence or to slow my progress. You should never allow emotions of what others could think of you, overwhelm you this much. Don't get me wrong, it happens, but push past it anyway!

Push through the emotion... 

5) Move forward As that famed Ice Queen (and my 6-year-old daughter) would say, LET IT GO... LET IT GO..- The hardest part of getting pas hard times, for me, is letting it go. Not everything has a solution or endpoint. Not everything will. Knowing that sometimes words are left unspoken, through are held back and people change, is the key to moving forward. Being able to let things go and again not allowing them to dwell or sit in your mind or heart is very important. Very important. Let it go, more so for you than for the situation or person.

And, remember that you can and WILL overcome these challenges. You can do this Momma!

Remeber that troubles are temporary.... live in peace with yourself and who you are... 

::Wordless Wednesday:: #MommaChallenge

My wordless Wednesday's are rarely wordless. I just have to have words! HA.HA. 

Last year I started a self-challenge, and then I had people following and asking me about it. I turned into not only a self-challenge but also a way of being accountable. I started a 30 days of Affirmations challenges after a talk with a life coach and a wonderful series of conferences in 2014.  You can see those posts ::HERE::

The challenge made a HUGE difference in all areas of my life. As a Wife, as a Momma, and as a Momma with a career. 

Last week I began a new journey so, I started that challenge again. As a way to remain focused and joyful! Then, this weekend, I went to a local conference. I will write about it more soon. During this conference we spoke abundantly about affirmations and it made me feel like I was on the right path once again. Today I share the challenge with you again. 

It's very simple {or so we think} for 30 days you write a love note to yourself, a happy, positive thought that will help you get through your day, through the next 2 hours or through the year.You post these notes in a place where you can read them everyday. If you post them on Instagram or Twitter make sure to tag us and hashtags us: @MommaofDos- Instagram & @MommaofdosTX- Twitter,  #MommaChallenge #MommaofDos #PressForwardGuerrera 

Last year I used sticky notes, this year I used a notebook cause it's easy to carry around.  

Hope you join us!!

Momma Fitness #ResolutionMakers

I have a problem with commitment. Funny story and bizarre admission? I have been with my Hubby for 15 years, I have 2 toddlers and the word commitment scares me?

Here is why: I have a  family that depends on me in so many ways. Maybe the statement should be commitment to the outside world and myself scares me. But, it's necessary sometimes. 

And, while it is a new year and we are all inspired and motivated to be more and do the most, there comes a time period when that motivation, well honestly it runs out! I didn't fully commit last year to a fitness "plan" per say until about April, and I lost 15 lbs in 2013.

By that time all those people who had committed in January had already lost weight and maybe continued to but then, fell off the wagon. It's a normal process I believe. 

I will say this, I have so much going on already and my calendar looks eeeekk but  I will try to post about my weight battle and goals reached as they come. I will also be posting over at Houston Moms Blog, along with a couple of other Houston Moms Blog Contributors about fitness goals and how to achieve them. If you wish to follow us check every Friday on Houston Moms Blog and feel free to share your own experiences in this #weightbattle!

I also post a lot about this on my Instagram and I host a private group called Momma Fitness on Facebook, where we motivate and share with other women who are looking to lose weight, stay healthy and get fit!! It's been a great experience so far and we all help each other and give one another advice. It's a difficult task to do all that we do as Momma's, Wives and outside world contributors so we can all use some support and encouragement.

::Seeking::

A while back I set out to find my "Dream Job", because despite what my situation is right now, I have faith that, that place is still out there for me. I have since found a job. A good job but not what I would consider ideal. I know, "Connie you are so picky and such a non-conformist!" Trust me, I often question my own credibility. I wonder if maybe it's true, it's not the environment but rather me, who has a problem. I am never happy, so my Hubby says.

Is that such a bad thing? 

I mean really. I have been to so many places and  I have come so far. I went to college. Should be, 'nuff said. But, then there is this long history of paid work and un-paid work or volunteering. I mean. Not to toot my own horn, but I have been told that my background is pretty darn impressive and I am proud of that. As a Woman, as a Mexican-American and now as a Momma; I am very proud of my education and work history. Even my un-successful time as a Stay-at-Home-Momma which I failed at miserably, but that's a whole other post in itself. Trust me when I say..having kids and staying home is NOT for everyone! Yes, it has it's rewards and pro's but still not for everyone.

So, in further seeking I continue on this path of applications and interviews. And, I am once again haunted by that question; where do you see yourself in 5 years? Which to me translates into what is the perfect job for you and what do you want from this current situation? As one person put it; "I want to sit on a beach and drink margarita's all day and get paid for it." Really, come on, who the heck wouldn't but since that may or may not be an option for me I am not only determined but involved in seeking that perfect job, that perfect place. Just the other day I had an interview; when the manager spoke to me, she had LIFE.  When someone has true passion and purpose, you can see it in their face through their determination. You can hear it in their voice through their story and their words. And, they inspire you to do more and motivate you to live beyond what you think is normal.

That is where I see myself in 5 years. I challenge myself to live beyond what I think is normal and fitting not only for my well-being, financial stability and mental growth but what I deem a position that my children can look up to and be proud of. Yes, they should and can be proud of my accomplishments until now but I am not a conformist remember. I don't like to settle. I never have. If I did, I wouldn't have left a small town in 1999, to become a city girl. If I did I would have allowed the stereotypes and what-if's to consume me.  If I settled I wouldn't be a home-owner and drive an SUV. {Not bragging, just sayin'... Si se puede!} And, because I have SO much more to prove not to anyone but myself, I seek.

That passion. That job. And, that determination.

What about you? Are you a constant seeker? I know I am.

Early {New} Year Re-solutions

So, you thought 2013 would be a year full of purpose and direction and it's now October and you can't seem to see your vision. But, why? No worries, re-direct and get it together!

I had many goals for this year. Sure most of them were accomplished and maybe slightly re-directed but honestly sometimes life is life and it just doesn't happen how you envisioned. Well, now is the time to start re-thinking those goals for the rest of this year. And yes, why not for 2014? Trust me, it will be here before we know it. It’s never too early to start thinking about what we want for ourselves.

 

A few ways that I plan on getting back on track are:

Re-Organizing~ I started my year as a Stay@HomeMomma and then converted back to being a WorkingOutsidetheHomeMomma so my every day has been flipped up-side down! It's been almost 5 months and I think I am finally finding a new balance. Schedules are falling into place. Energy and motivation are finally back. My best advice; don't take on too much and when you feel overwhelmed take a break! 

Re-Thinking~ I am going to go over my goals and re-think, re-evaluate and re-prioritize what I feel needs to get done to accomplish some of my personal, home and blogging goals! I think everything in life can be re-written no need to get flustered or upset...just re-think it! 

Take Action~ After I am done re-organizing myself and re-thinking what and how things will be done the rest of the year and in 2014; then I will definitely be set to TAKE ACTION! I want to not only be a person of words but also of actions! 

What about you? Have you thought about way to start over and start planning for next year?!

{A lot of Faith} ♥

Yesterday my Sister said to me...."if it's meant to be then it will be."

So simple.

So true.

Truth.

Something I am SURE I have said to her many times or to others who are seeking. But, why is it so hard to accept that right now? I have faith that whatever is meant to be these days will be. I keep busy and fill my calendar. With my goals and my purpose. Not worrying too much about what everyone else has going on or where everyone else is in their journey of seeking, I have been there....and yes..most times...done that. Right now it's time for this Momma to seek in a different manner. Not only a Dream job but MY dream for the next 30 years and my family's future.

Years ago when I first met my Hubby I don't think I imagined my life to become, so full of LIFE. Our kids are a Blessing. Such an awesome Blessing, that at one point I didn't know if it would ever be possible to have children. At 32, I can honestly say that I have lived my life and accomplished almost everything that I have set my mind to do, small or big. Sometimes walking away from God, so far ahead that I have to stop myself and be reminded that He has been my strength. But, in the midst of it all I have never lost sight of His Love, His Wisdom and His words; which live deep inside my heart. Deep inside my soul. I knew of God as a kid, I didn't know God until I was 24. 24. I am  now 31, 32 in June. Those things, situations or circumstances that I thought were a priority then, now sit on the back burner.

I have found myself, in many dark corners and through many heartfelt and horribly shed tears. But, through it all I have remained. In faith. In light. And, open to the possibilities ahead. So, why is it so hard to accept where I am right now? In this quiet place. Still. Married to a great and supportive Man who yes...puts up with all my crazy antics and blog posts, Ha. Ha. A Momma of DOS very active, very hyper, somewhat spoiled {ok, very SPOILED}, tantrum throwing and demanding children who never use their inside voice and who consume my every being in the best way possible; who are teaching me patience and about using my inside voice. {True story; my son asked me not to SPEAK SO LOUDLY,or yell, at him and to instead speak to him in a calm inside voice....convinced that he would listen to me, I tried it and he still doesn't listen to me, boys... Oyi.}

Be still.

Waiting.

It's hard for me.

But, I have faith.

I remain.

God knows when and how. 

And, no matter how difficult it is to be still...I pray for His peace and patience while He works on my prayers which I know He has heard very loud, dramatically and clear. {I am an active pray-er!} Ha. God sees my heart. He knows my heart. And, I pray that He can hear my heart.... shouting out to Him. In every way possible.

Psalm 46:10

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” 

{Friday Letters} 1st of 2013

Dear Friday, 
Hi there! You are the first Friday of the year. I see you. I embrace you. I am happy you are here. Until next week! 
Nos vemos. 

Dear Blog, 
I have goals and plans for you in 2013. Be patient. Cooperate and yes LISTEN. Ha. I will make it happen just trust me. 
Thanks for being so good to me. 

Dear Career, 
I am looking for you. Come out, come out where ever you are! 
No really stop hiding. 

Dear New Blog Readers!  
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE!!! As a Blogger, I totally and completely  appreciate your support! Come back daily and tell me what you think! 
Gracias!!

Dear 2013, 
play nice and no one gets hurt!! 
Just Sayin'....

Dear Hubby and Kids, 
Thank you for your patience with me as a not so perfect Stay@HomeMomma. I appreciate your love and understanding. I am trying my best. 
Love you.

{Happy Weekend everyone!!!}

{2012} In Review

It's crazy to think that just yesterday, or so it seems like it, 2012 was just starting so fresh, so new......

Then I looked at my first post from 2012; and WOW! What a difference a year makes:

::{Click here} FIRST POST OF 2012::

This year was GREAT.

{Click on EACH month to read related posts or see pictures!}
In March; Cami turned ONE! We had a fiesta and a wave of Momma-melt downs began. Many may not know this but this year I battled fiercely with Momma Blues {some type of PPD}. It wasn't fun, therapy helped and after a major melt-down and full-blown panic attack in September, I quit my Full-time job to be a Stay-@-Home-Momma. {Read about it ::here:: ::here:: and ::here::}

In May; My Hubby graduated from college with his Bachelor's degree!!!! GO HUBBY  & GO COOGS!!! Whoop-Whoop!!!

In June; I turned 31. Officially a year in my 30's in 6 months, I will be 32! Wow, just yesterday, I was 18. Wow.

In July; The Hubby landed a pretty sweet job opportunity and it's helped us realize a lot about ourselves and our accomplishments. My Hubby is incredibly smart and an amazingly hard working person. I love him. Lots.

In August; My Hubby  turned 33! Wow! We met when he was 17. Crazy huh?

In September; My Santi turned 3!!! 3!!!! He won't be a baby much longer...makes me sad. A lot. A lot! I also quit my job this month after a not so good event; to become a Stay-@-Home-Momma. Which may be ending soon... because well... it just happens...

In October; a new journey began and I attended my FIRST ever official BLOGGER Conference!!!! Thanks to the Latism Houston Chapter and their sponsorship!!!! Say whaaaa'?? It was great, great month!!! ::PICTURES HERE::

Now it's December 31st, the last day of the year... it's bittersweet....leaving behind all the good and the BAD that happened in 2012 but always remembering that NO MATTER what God was there with us EVERY.SINGLE.STEP.OF.THE.WAY.

As a constant reminder of my faith in 2012, I had some very, very harsh moments but I remained faith-ful and in prayer and God knew when I should have a melt-down and when I needed to be fierce! In everything I did in 2012; failures, successes, happiness, sadness, tears and joy...I honestly looked for God and trusted in Him to give me ever lasting strength... everyday. Every time. As I sit here on the last day of 2012; I want to thank not only my friends and family who remained constant and by my side with their never ending love and support but also Thank You to all the NEW and amazing friends that I added to my Blog, Facebook, and contact book! I love you all and I pray that you and your families have an amazingly wonderful new year!!!!!

Many Blessings. 

2 Corinthians 5:17

New King James Version (NKJV)

¹⁷ Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

See Ya' Next Year!!!!!!!!

{Hello December} 2012 to 2013

{Good-Bye November}

December is that you? Wow.

The last 11 months are a blur. It's cold now, sometimes. My Husband graduated college, I became a "Stay@HomeMomma", kinda. It just doesn't feel like a whole year has gone by but my son's jacket no longer fits him and my daughter has new boots...that she is walking in, all on her own. So, yes. The year has gone by. Too fast and without warning.

My wish for December. That I can enjoy it. Maintain some peace. And, move forward. I am not sure where this year has led you but for me, it's given me a second chance. A new opportunity to start over. So, my 2013 starts now. Why wait?

I don't watch football but while listening to the news the other night one of the players said; "I don't think about the last play, I think about my next play." All, I could think was, "Wow, I want to be that way." I don't want to think about the past and what went wrong, I want to look towards the future and what's to come.

I often sit and think about the things that I wish could have happened or that I could have done differently. But, I can't dwell on the material and superficial. I can't think about places and situations. I can only move on.

2012 was a great year. Many things went well. But, I want 2013 to be even better for us.

{December prayer: Dear Lord, give me peace and faith to continue. Give me strength and wisdom to prosper.  Give us health and continued safety. Bring us to the end of the year with new hope. I pray that 2013 is an amazing year for Team Gomez and all of our friends and family. May Your will be done in my life and not mine. In Jesus Name. Amen.}


p.s. Still no pictures ya'll, maybe tomorrow....... Because I have a fun Holiday Mini-Photo shoot that my lovely assistant and I did! 

{Difficult Decisions....} Parte Dos

After my Hubby and I decided what was best for us.... I started thinking of how and what to say to whom. I decided that an initial email would be sent to my boss on updates and how I felt and what the doctors had stated and what I thought would be the next step...

I was off from work for about a week.

When I went back I had one conversation with my boss, the tears flowed and feelings emerged. I knew that I had made the right decision for my family and for my department despite the timing of it all and the what-if's in my mind, I moved forward. My next conversation would give me total peace and convert my decision into reality. Our department Director, a man, an almost Father-like figure. His reference included his own daughter, also a Momma and wife... his own marriage and an agreement him and his wife made when they first were married, and finally a book.... a chapter and how it ends.... with a Woman who cares for her family in a very distinct manner. Our conversation one of wisdom, peace and faith. Very appropriate and very settling. He gave my decision further meaning and purpose. He gave my decision direction which is exactly what I needed....

Sometimes we  have made up our minds on what needs to happen when God knows it should have happened a long time ago. He was just better building and preparing us for it. I am scared. My decision was tough and now I must move forward.... I can't stay in this place where I think I belong... God knew where my real place would be long before today and long before I thought I knew...

Decisions like this are difficult... but life goes on... 

The book and that final chapter about a Woman who maybe didn't know how or when but she knew God wanted her to follow Him every step of the way.... I know that nothing is impossible...

My Director said to me... "she did this all from home...."

To me home has always been where my heart is... 

Proverbs 31 (NIV) 

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character

^10 [b]A wife of noble character who can find?
    She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
    and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.
¹³ She selects wool and flax
    and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her female servants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
    and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
    and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
    and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
    for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
    she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
    where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
    and supplies the merchants with sashes.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

{On making a difficult decision....} Parte Uno

Ever since I can remember I have worked... no questions asked...just move forward. A tabajar mi'jita....porque el azul celeste...si que esta caro.

I didn't know when or how I would post about this, or if I even would. When it happened it was very embarrassing to me. First off. I had NEVER felt or had an experience like this ever. Not even when I have been preggers, and that's cause I have had some pretty difficult pregnancies. But, a fellow Blogger posted about her experience and it encouraged me to do so as well...

About 3 weeks ago I was sitting at my desk at work. Pretty typical day. Busy. Crazy. No biggie. I had just had lunch and was about to drink some Dr. Pepper. I share an office with my Supervisor, I am the Assistant Supervisor. As usual there were other people in the office... the space is somewhat open... can't remember now if the doors were closed..we have 2 doors, one toward the front of the office and one behind me. My boss, two workers from another floor and a gentleman on the phone were having a conference. Busy is very usual for us. Everyday business was happening around me. I sat there..and suddenly it happened. A feeling. Like I was loosing air and a sudden urge to breath deeply, the room started spinning and I wasn't sure what was going on. I have had low blood sugar before so I took one big gulp of Dr. Pepper and started fanning myself with what ever was in my hand. All the sudden I couldn't anymore. I started to call out my boss's name. I am sure everyone thought I was crazy. As soon as she acknowledged me I think I told her I felt sick and that I thought I would pass out. Next thing I knew I was laying in the ladies room on a couch trying to calm myself and attempting to breath. Unaware of what was going on. I asked my co-worker to call 9-1-1. Sure enough. I ended up on the back of an ambulance. With a IV drip, Oxygen and in route to the Emergency Room. All the while the Paramedic warned me of his "usual" but sudden nose bleeds which he was sure would happen, thankfully it didn't. I was scared enough with my own situation to be worried about someone else's medical emergency! Ha.

I spent 5 hours in the ER; calming down, dizzy and with sudden burst of "not sure if I can breath" episodes. Once it was all said and done a possible panic attack, dehydration and motion sickness had been assumed, I was sent home with medicine for dizziness and was asked to see my regular doctor within 24 hours. After such a scary moment I was left with plenty of questions and my head literally spinning. The following day I went to my regular doctor. After of full explanation of my previous 3 weeks; which involved work and caring for my children while my Husband was in Utah for work. He too suggested I had suffered from a panic attack and over all overload and exhaustion...suggested rest and sent me home with medicine for my nerves. Still not satisfied and with more questions. I went to see a specialist after her analysis and testing had concluded which involved an irregular heartbeat and EKG, due to anxiety, more than likely due to the previous days occurrences. Her diagnosis. A full blown panic attack and over all over load and exhaustion.

How? Me?

I couldn't believe it. But, surely 4 medical specialist couldn't  be wrong...who knows what happened or what kind of stress I have really put my body thru. Either way it was awful, embarrassing and time consuming but now the question of WHAT?

What do I do? I work 40{plus} hours a week outside of my home to help support and provide from my family. I always have. I know nothing else. I know that ever since my children were born I prayed to be a Stay-at-Home Momma...but now could that be an option? How in the world would I break it to my boss right smack dab in the middle of a Presidential year and just as the Elections department begins to boom.

After a long conversation with God, a good long discussion with my Hubby, countless texts and phone conversations with some of my closest Momma-pals and family... it was almost completely settled. My decision involved........a lot of thinking and praying. And, it wouldn't be taken lightly or easy...

I guess this is how difficult decisions are made....  

  

{Change} ♥

For a few weeks now I have been feeling....off. As if I just didn't belong. I was in-between feelings. For people, for life, for my future.

This morning it hit me. 

It's called Change.

God has been calling me to look around myself and reevaluate; friendships, work, life, myself. It's not a bad thing, it's a freeing thing. How else can I walk towards God's bigger plan and purpose for my life, if I don't allow change, if I don't embrace it, if I don't accept it. 

That's probably the most difficult, accepting it. I have had many, many amazing friendships and jobs in my life, I have learned so much from all of them. But, it's time to move on. To move forward and God is calling me there. I have to accept it. No matter who or what gets left behind. I will have to accept it.

Friendships change, they grow, they mature, they move in different directions, with different goals and ambitions, with different opinions and views. But, then God opens your eyes and allows you to realize that He's replaced those friendships with others that are a bit more like you and on the same track of family, career and life. AND. THAT. IS.OK. In some cases those friendship were already there, I just didn't open my heart to what should be and was being stubborn as to what I thought I wanted it to be.

Lately, I have been freaking out about things that have happened even at work, that have given me bigger responsibilities. Bigger opportunities. Bigger challenges. And then I realized "Connie, now is your time to shine!" Wake up. For so many years I have asked for this, I have prayed for it with tears in my eyes and God kept saying, "hold on." Now I have it and I didn't even know my bottom from my head but this morning, clarity.

Clear. ::deep breath of relief::

Everything happens for a reason. Change is one those things that has to happen in order for us to further fulfill our purpose for His reason!

I am so excited. I am moving forward and I am ready for this change!

Ready.

Set.

GO!

I hope you are embracing change and opening your heart to what is to come. God is with you. In Him find strength. In Him find peace. In Him find FREEDOM.


For change. 

::deep embracing breath::

I will place my focus where God wants it to be and not where I want it to be.

God is with me. I know.

{Momma of Dos} ♥ ♥

I know I have said this before, but I didn't picture my life here. As a Momma and Wife. I knew maybe, one day God would Bless me with children, but I didn't know He would BLESS me with children. Becoming a Momma has been one of the most amazing, most rewarding, most beautiful Blessings that God has given me in this life. I don't think I have ever felt this way about any other "accomplishment" in my life.

I was an ambitious one. It runs through my veins I guess. I knew I wanted success and I was set out to get there. Until I started gaining "real world" success and I thought, this is nothing. There has to be more. Something better has to come. OH.BOY. Did it ever! The "MORE" was an almost 9 month "ordeal"{really ALMOST 9 months, but technically 8 months and 2 weeks.}. I mean I was creating life, it had to be grand right? I didn't feel grand, I was huge, in pain, swollen, I was on a diet for my Gestational Diabetes, I was, yep, PREGNANT!

I thought;"this will be good."

Then, September 16th came in 2009 and I was ready. Ready to meet this new little person, that by the grace of God I had grown in my belly. This new little man in my life. What would he look like? Who would he look like? What would he be like? ::and the tears build as I type:: The feelings build up as I think about it. What would he become? How big of a Blessing would he be?

Then he arrived.

His entrance. A memorable one. His first glance. Heart piercing. His first embrace. Like nothing I had ever, EVER felt before. Life. It was complete. It was an awe inspiring one. I didn't know what to do with myself. I knew I wanted to spend every waking moment with him. I knew I didn't want to sleep so I could watch him sleep. I knew. That the "MORE", was being a Momma.

God gave me many failed opportunities at being of this world. At becoming a "supervisor" in my worldly jobs. Every time, I was so disappointed. I was so devastated. I was a failure.

Then, I become a Momma and NOTHING. ELSE. MATTERED. EVER. AGAIN. My success, my accomplishment was living.

Then came 2011. The success was magnified even more. Not only would God have allowed me (had trusted me, had specifically chosen me) to live through one amazing moment, but DOS. Her pregnancy was so much easier. I knew what to except and planned for it. It wasn't so bad. I gained less weight, was not so sick and was used to the meal plan. Her birth. Just like her, dramatic but sweet. {Oh you haven't met Cami? That girl is some drama! Ha. But she is also my sweet little feisty one.}

These days I share giggles and prayers with them. And that Supervisor job..I have it... times TEN. I don't mind it. God knows I can handle it. Is it perfect? Never. Is it awesome? Absolutely. Am I accomplished? I am Blessed beyond my wildest dreams.

Being this Momma of Dos is molding me into the Momma that my Dos will need as they grow through this world and attempt at their own failed accomplishments until they too find their way.....

Just because I am happy doesn't mean I am perfect. God didn't create this life to be easy but to be lived. With peace. Happy and in Love. With Faith and hope. Above all with Jesus as the center of our families. I pray that God is in our home and that He will guide this Momma into the Blessing that my children need as they mature into the people that God has them planned to be.

I didn't plan this path but I chose to follow it with all my heart no matter what or where it leads me for Him and for them....

And, life has NEVER been the same.... or better than where I am now... ever....

{This post is part of my Identity Series with the previous posts ::HERE::. Inspired by one beautiful Momma named Vanessa over at DE SU MAMA. By the way; Huge CONGRATS to her and her beautiful family!!! She just had a handsome little gentleman named, Sebastian Richard!!!!}

{Grace} ♥

My husband’s favorite word is virtuous. {"Connie be virtuous", he says} He uses it a lot. Mine is Grace or Favor. Either way, we show our virtue by being graceful. I love talking to my Husband about our Faith, about Faith in general and about what we believe. He always has the best, most direct and open insight. We grew up differently and it’s so true that opposites attract. We are night and day. He has given me new confidence, a better meaning of courage, and definitely a more open EYED view on life! He taught me not to be so gullible and not to believe in everyone or everything they tell me. He taught me to really get to know people before I said how amazing they were! I was young and naive, still some days are not good in that aspect. Oh well. Such is life and we learn.


Well, today I received one of my usual daily inspiration emails from The Daily Love Blog and this was part of the Blog:

“Sometimes our biggest problem is the greatest act of Grace. What seems like horror, terror or really bad luck is the event that we needed in order to heal our wounds, step out into our power and then use our experience, strength and hope to help other people come out of their darkness. Grace can feel like a soft feather and sometimes Grace can be a kick in the teeth (or worse).”

I thought that was so perfectly described. Some days I feel like my grace has been enough and sufficient for others to realize that what I say and do is from my heart and not to hurt. I am what I think and I wear it on my lips… I know not good but it’s true. I talk. A lot. About it all. Hence, the blog. Then there are days when I am so humbled and at times humiliated that I don’t feel like I have done enough to win back truth and reputation. But, guess what? Yep you guessed it…such is life. These things have to happen….for me to grow, to learn and to heal. I realize every day that, I am not perfect, that people are not perfect and that life may never be perfect. What I do know is that I can strive to be a BETTER ME {there is that two letter word again...ME. I think it's the 2012 theme..to be a better ME, to worry about ME not so much others... selfish maybe but I think it's necessary at times...}, every day in every way! That’s what I want for 2012!

Yes, it’s only day 5, but I feel a lot MORE confident this year than I did last year…no matter what discoursing words {or gestures; as my Husband learned a couple of nights ago that a shrug of the shoulders can be worth a thousand words…} people send our way, no matter what setbacks or disappointments life may bring…life goes on! AND YES. Such is life, that we must MOVE FORWARD. NO.MATTER.WHAT.EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.

I was feeling a little blue over New Year’s Eve, but this New Year has just really allowed me to MOVE on and LIVE MY LIFE; with my Husband and my children. Life is beautiful and worth living. We just have to work at it every day past others and what they may or may not think about you. I am fully inspired to be inspired and inspire this year!

{I know you may be thinking..."Whoa Connie slow down...day 5 and already you are in that change the world mode?" Well it's that kind of a year..it's that kind of a week..I WANT IT TO BE THAT KIND OF A FUTURE FOR MY LITTLE FAMILY! I have the BEST most POSITIVE feeling EVER about TEAM GOMEZ and Oh the places we will go.... ONLY GOD KNOWS!}

grace.

I want it.

I need it.

I breath it.

I love it.

GRACE!

Make it a GRACE FILLED day!

Taking back my LIFE! {Semana: Six!}

About 6 weeks ago I promised myself to push past the pain. Deal with whatever my body was going through and move forward with LIFE!

You see I started reading ALWAYS LOOKING UP by Michael J. Fox and after only a couple of pages I was fully inspired by his pain. Literally. He is amazing. The thought process that he has to go through to get out of BED is just incredible. Will make anyone rethink what they are complaining about...especially ME!

{Source}

I think I have managed to overcome the pain of my Kidney Stone problem and surgery fairly well. I am feeling almost at 100% these days. I didn't go back to the doctor from the fear of the words "another surgery" coming out of her mouth. So I finished my meds, started natural supplements and just coping with the everyday pain as it slowly faded into the back of my thoughts...

Now, I want more pain free days so I plan to make one more major doctor appointment and start eating better and exercising. I am 30, I need to start sometime. I had done really good throughout my 20's some years are blur others I have pictures to prove I was a size 2! I will never be at a 2 again, not sure that, that's where I want to be. But, I do want to be a healthy person and good size 10! I love being a size 10 it's my ideal size, for now I am a 14 on good days and a 16 on my blah days. I deal. Ha.

Today I plan to read more of my book and see how much more inspiration and motivation I can pile up into my week. The first week of 2012 is looking really good! I love it.

I know I will be fully motivated...THE BIGGEST LOSER STARTS TONIGHT!!! LOVE THAT SHOW! Always sooo full of hope! American Idol starts in a couple weeks tooooo! Other fav!

Hope your first week of 2012 is grand! Make it a good one!

2011?

Where did it go?
Seriously.
Aside from having Camila most the year is a blur.
Is that bad?
Is that Momma brain?

Ahii. I don't know. But, the days keep moving along into a new year and all I can think is CHANGE. Change Connie. Change. I want BIG things to happen in my life and if I want a difference then I should initiate CHANGE!

Seems to be the word of the week. CHANGE. De-cluttering. De-stressing. Simplifying. Life. Faith. Friends. Family. EVERYTHING. I don't think it's a bad thing. I think it's a good thing.

Therefore all I can think of for 2012 is CHANGE. Make a difference in ME. Make a difference in MY home. Make a difference in MY children. Make a difference in MY marriage. Make a difference in MY life. Selfish? Maybe. But we all need some time to regroup. To rethink. To readjust. To rethink. To regroup.

As, I backtrack through 2011..Good and Bad. It all worked it's self out for the best. For the truth to be revealed, for friendships to be tested. For faith to be endured. For Love to be matched. For justice to overcome. For GOOD to prevail. In the end. God has opened new doors, closed MANY others and shone His light on what should be in our lives for 2012. "Plans to prosper..not to harm you...."

Therefore no matter where we spend New Years Eve or with whom. God already has our plans for 2012. Nothing we do can change that. The only thing that needs to change is our way of thinking. Our attitude. For myself my biggest GOAL, my biggest RESOLUTION. Is ME. It takes some mistake making to learn. This year. I have learned. I promise. No really. I have.

So, 2011 Good day to you! I will miss you. You brought many a new Blessings. Especially my new little CamNoodles to Love and to hold forever and ever... no matter how many tantrums she throws as I type up this BLOG! HA. You've left me MANY a bittersweet memories to love and to cherish deep in my soul. You've left with me sadness as friends have left my side. I wish them well and so much LOVE. You leave me deep sorrow as we lost my Beautiful Aunt Lola to a disease I am yet to understand but plan to fight for! You leave us questions as my Husband lost his uncle to a questionable cold-hearted murder, I can't understand...You leave me with pain and questions to be answered BUT guess what 2012 will be better and new days will come. Truth will uphold and be revealed. Justice and Good will always overcome evil no matter how long it takes. I plan to add wisdom and maturity to my days and my words...

SO TO YOU I SAY.....

WELCOME 2012 

AND AN 

AWESOME NEW YEAR!!!!!!! 

I HOPE YOU CAN ALL CONQUER THE DAYS AND LIVE WITH PEACE AND FAITH DEEP IN YOUR HEARTS!!!

{A Change in Pace...Kind of?}

So, changes are about to come. {Personally, Career wise, Blog-wise, Family-wise!}



Not sure how, or IF they will even affect my Blog. I love Blogging. As you all know I am NOT a Stay-@-Home Mom like most Momma Bloggers ::insert highly disappointed face here::. I have an outside the home government job.

Recently that outside the home job has become a bit more hectic as I am changing departments and well life will be a bit different. We will also be well into a new semester in a few weeks here and Ricardo's BUSY school & work schedule will be CRAZY!

Again, not sure how or if it will affect my Blog but I hope you stick around...see what's new and tell your friends to join us. I have a feeling the fun is just about to begin!

I hope and pray that my change in pace is for the best and that I can continue to update you guys and feature new ideas and concepts as they become available. As well as share all the fun things that this semester bring us. I know some of you don't know..but my Hubby is a FT student and I usually think of our life in semesters. This is his last FULL semester...if all goes well and God willing he will only have ONE class left after December ...and then he will be a GRADUATE! Yay!!!

In the mean time we will see where our little lives take us and what God brings to them!

Again I hope you guys stick around and invite others to join us on this little crazy journey we like to call...LIFE!

Have a great week everyone!  

{Thankful Thursdays} LINK UP!

This week I am most Thankful for:











Paths Crossing {I have been faced with many new decisions this month and this week. So, it puts me at ease to know that other Momma friends/Bloggers are experiencing the same...challenges in decision making.... Thank You Ladies....your support, listening ears and advice make a world of a difference for this Momma!} 

Mother-in-Law { She watches my kids...for...FREE. 'Nuff said right? No. But wait! She watches them when I have late night meetings, she feeds them, she makes them laugh ::in.tears.now::, she protects them, she gets after them,she feeds them..and ME some nights, she bathes them, she plays with them, she changes them, she teaches them, she speaks SPANISH to them,she dances with them,she holds them, she give them quiet time, and guess what... she absolutely LOVES them!! I admit. Like anything else. Leaving my kids with anyone is difficult. And, my Momma heart filled with doubts as to if my Mother-in-Law could do this for me...she has a busy...BUSY household...but she does it so well...and I am SO BLESSED!}

Little Good-Bye's {Again, leaving my kids has been a Momma challenge that for months at a time has made me walk away in tears and doubt. But this week my son walks in my Mother-in-Laws house... sits on the couch, stands by the door or is held in Grandpa's arms and calmly says... "Buh-Bye" with a smile. My Momma heart sighs with relief and I walk away..still in tears but happy and at ease... Thank You Jesus for this answered prayer.}

Support {From my Husband, above all. From my Mom and my Sister. From my Cousins-in-law, my Hubby's younger cousins who are mine as well. From my Momma friends/Bloggers. From my friends as a whole. From my co-workers. From those in and out of my life....it's amazing. THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART! I MORE THAN TRULY APPRECIATE YOU ALL. I LOVE YOU.} 

What are you most Thankful for this week??

{T.GOD.I.F} ♥

No really, THANK GOD.

Turning 30 has really, I mean REALLY messed with my emotions {hormones} !!

“Instead, there must be a spiritual renewal of your thoughts and attitudes.” (Ephesians 4:23 NLT)

I mean. I cry. I dwell. I wallow. I blah, all over my Besties! Seriously. Seriously, Momma? Get a grip! Life is NOT that serious. It's. not. that. serious. it's not.

“You must put on your new nature because you are a new person, created in God's likeness—righteous, holy, and true.” (Ephesians 4:24)

The last few weeks I've had this line from the movie Tangled in my head {Not cause we've seen it about a billion times in the last 4 months but yeah...}: "You know, I can't help but notice you seem a little at war with yourself here.." It's that scene when she leaves the tower to venture out, to see her "life begin"...I guess that's where I am at right now.

 “For God is working in you, giving you the desire to obey him and the power to do what pleases him” (Philippians 2:13 NLT).

As a new Momma of Dos and Wife to a super busy Student and Intern...it just seems like "my" life has not yet begun...I know I am a super BUSY "OTHCWMWB" but some days..I still want more.

Risk your life and get more than you ever dreamed of. Play it safe and end up holding the bag. Luke 19:26 (MSG)

Eeek. I know. MORE. I hate the rut of want...but I think it's more the desire to serve!

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and He will make your paths straight.” (Psalm 3:5-6 NIV)

I know God is working. His work is fruitful. I trust in Him. LOTS!

Psalm 42:11 “Oh, my soul, don't be discouraged. Don't be upset. Expect God to act!” (TLB).

BTW. I don't think a Blog post can ever be too scripture heavy....

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." New International Version (NIV)