Friday, April 6, 2012

{Momma of Dos} ♥ ♥

I know I have said this before, but I didn't picture my life here. As a Momma and Wife. I knew maybe, one day God would Bless me with children, but I didn't know He would BLESS me with children. Becoming a Momma has been one of the most amazing, most rewarding, most beautiful Blessings that God has given me in this life. I don't think I have ever felt this way about any other "accomplishment" in my life.

I was an ambitious one. It runs through my veins I guess. I knew I wanted success and I was set out to get there. Until I started gaining "real world" success and I thought, this is nothing. There has to be more. Something better has to come. OH.BOY. Did it ever! The "MORE" was an almost 9 month "ordeal"{really ALMOST 9 months, but technically 8 months and 2 weeks.}. I mean I was creating life, it had to be grand right? I didn't feel grand, I was huge, in pain, swollen, I was on a diet for my Gestational Diabetes, I was, yep, PREGNANT!

I thought;"this will be good."

Then, September 16th came in 2009 and I was ready. Ready to meet this new little person, that by the grace of God I had grown in my belly. This new little man in my life. What would he look like? Who would he look like? What would he be like? ::and the tears build as I type:: The feelings build up as I think about it. What would he become? How big of a Blessing would he be?

Then he arrived.

His entrance. A memorable one. His first glance. Heart piercing. His first embrace. Like nothing I had ever, EVER felt before. Life. It was complete. It was an awe inspiring one. I didn't know what to do with myself. I knew I wanted to spend every waking moment with him. I knew I didn't want to sleep so I could watch him sleep. I knew. That the "MORE", was being a Momma.

God gave me many failed opportunities at being of this world. At becoming a "supervisor" in my worldly jobs. Every time, I was so disappointed. I was so devastated. I was a failure.

Then, I become a Momma and NOTHING. ELSE. MATTERED. EVER. AGAIN. My success, my accomplishment was living.

Then came 2011. The success was magnified even more. Not only would God have allowed me (had trusted me, had specifically chosen me) to live through one amazing moment, but DOS. Her pregnancy was so much easier. I knew what to except and planned for it. It wasn't so bad. I gained less weight, was not so sick and was used to the meal plan. Her birth. Just like her, dramatic but sweet. {Oh you haven't met Cami? That girl is some drama! Ha. But she is also my sweet little feisty one.}

These days I share giggles and prayers with them. And that Supervisor job..I have it... times TEN. I don't mind it. God knows I can handle it. Is it perfect? Never. Is it awesome? Absolutely. Am I accomplished? I am Blessed beyond my wildest dreams.

Being this Momma of Dos is molding me into the Momma that my Dos will need as they grow through this world and attempt at their own failed accomplishments until they too find their way.....

Just because I am happy doesn't mean I am perfect. God didn't create this life to be easy but to be lived. With peace. Happy and in Love. With Faith and hope. Above all with Jesus as the center of our families. I pray that God is in our home and that He will guide this Momma into the Blessing that my children need as they mature into the people that God has them planned to be.

I didn't plan this path but I chose to follow it with all my heart no matter what or where it leads me for Him and for them....

And, life has NEVER been the same.... or better than where I am now... ever....

{This post is part of my Identity Series with the previous posts ::HERE::. Inspired by one beautiful Momma named Vanessa over at DE SU MAMA. By the way; Huge CONGRATS to her and her beautiful family!!! She just had a handsome little gentleman named, Sebastian Richard!!!!}

1 comment:

Tara said...

What a beautiful post. Being a mom is the best gift in the world. Your kids are precious!