Wednesday, January 31, 2018

::5 Ways to overcome a Challenge:: #WednesdayWisdom



I recently became aware that my coping skills are great, except when I'm under true pressure and stress, go figure! Challenges come in many forms; you can be overworked, having too much on your plate, dealing with difficult people, and really just about anything in life can become a challenge.  If you read about my mental breakdown in 2012 here, then you know how well I handled stress then. I've thankfully grown so much since then; mentally, physically, emotionally. And, I am now able to walk myself back into a good place.

Creating these strengths within myself has been vital to my overall success. 

Some of the best ways that I have learned to deal with it are as follows:

1) Talk it out- Like a really raw and serious talk with someone who will be REAL and RAW. For me, that person is my Husband. He tells me the things, I don't want to hear. And, we all need that one person. Who isn't going to tell you that, it's all going to be OK. Because sometimes, it's not going to be okay, and that is also OK. If that makes sense. (Bear with me here.) But, you want to have that one person who you can truly express your frustration too and will help you talk it out so that you can think of a solution. Sometimes, that person is a therapist. And, that is OK too.

I have had the ability to get therapy and it was truly freeing and very helpful! 

2) Have a moment (melt-down if you will)- the release is needed. A good friend told me a long time ago, "Connie, I'm going to let you have your pity party, but then I'm going to need you to put your big girl panties back on and get over it."  It's been the best most memorable pep-talk of my life. One, it came from a very loving place. She meant well and I knew it. She was allowing me to "have my moment" but then giving me the motivation to realize, I could get past it. Sometimes, it's ok to have that moment but don't give up. Keep pushing forward and you will see that it's so worth it.

Also, a rule of thumb. I have my meltdowns, alone, in a quiet place where I can truly reflect. 

3) Don't be a Victim- Accept that you too have faults and are allowing these things get to you. There is nothing worse than denial. And, don't get me wrong. I have been there. I pretend that everyone else has issues and I'm the victim they prey on. Nope. A lot of times I am my own issue. Whatever it is, I have been there. We all have faults. Instead of focusing on a "woe me mentality" push forward and think about the solutions and positive. It's often hard to see these when we are in the middle of something bad but trust me, steps 1 and 2 are a huge help.

Don't be a victim, be victorious! 

4) Care but not too much- I hate this advice. Because I am a person or was one, who cared so much all the time about what people thought about me or if I was playing nice. Well. (and, it's easier said than done.) Try not to care so much. Care enough that you know hard times can come, bad things happen and you will make it through. But, don't dwell on the feeling so much that it consumes you. As an overthinker, thoughts, and what-ifs slowly eat at my soul. I know I'm weird. But, it's true. Over time I have learned not to allow this to hinder my existence or to slow my progress. You should never allow emotions of what others could think of you, overwhelm you this much. Don't get me wrong, it happens, but push past it anyway!

Push through the emotion... 

5) Move forward As that famed Ice Queen (and my 6-year-old daughter) would say, LET IT GO... LET IT GO..- The hardest part of getting pas hard times, for me, is letting it go. Not everything has a solution or endpoint. Not everything will. Knowing that sometimes words are left unspoken, through are held back and people change, is the key to moving forward. Being able to let things go and again not allowing them to dwell or sit in your mind or heart is very important. Very important. Let it go, more so for you than for the situation or person.

And, remember that you can and WILL overcome these challenges. You can do this Momma!

Remeber that troubles are temporary.... live in peace with yourself and who you are... 







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