Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Woe Me! Or NOT!!!!

The perfect Christmas Tree. In the perfect home. With the perfect Christmas dinner and the perfect night! The perfect season and the MOST perfect reason!

Obsessed much?


I was SO caught up in making my life appear PERFECT...on paper. Upset when everyone didn't follow through. Upset when MY imagination had run wild. When MY perfect family was just average. And then. Reality. Uhm excuse me, We ARE  NOT PERFECT! My husband can be a grouchy old man. I am at times a NAGY wife! And my son...well he runs wild most the day!

I had gone to my PERFECT friend [Ha. Sorry. I must stop.] who is great at taking pictures. Upset. About NOT being perfect. About my husband not matching with us on our PICTURE PERFECT day! About how I WANTED this photo shoot to go. About how we were "suppose" to LOOK PERFECT.

::Arms folded. HUGE POUT:: 

And then, reality. This is who we are. NOT PERFECT. Not always matchy-match. Not always smiley and happy. Not always obedient and polite! We are not perfect. HE is.[Jesus. He is.] He is the reason why we are here. Why I have a HUSBAND. A man who provides for me, who consoles me, who communicates with me, who hides nothing from me, who never holds back and tells me how it is! HE is the reason I have a Lil'Daddy; ACTIVE, WILD AND LOUD! As children should be! HE is the reason why I am awaiting my beautiful Lil'Momma to enter our world. To love. To hold. To have and be Blessed. We are NOT perfect. And, I am done thinking that we should be. My FAMILY. MY FAMILY. My husband and my children. We are not perfect but we are in Love, we are Blessed everyday with life, we are together, we care, we share and are NOT perfect! I love GOD. I love my husband and my son and my daughter. 

Why are you going on and on about this Connie?

Well, one person made me realize that; we are WHO we are. We are not always a super happy family, with a perfect marriage and perfect children. We are not trying to be "exposed" today and secretive tomorrow. We are who we ARE. Blessed. In Love. And in the end, NOT PERFECT but happy!   

In talking to my friend Yvonne and her upcoming photo shoot with my amazing friend Casey Ayala of Dream Tree Photography; she told me how her husband wanted to wear a baseball cap for their shoot. She told him..."You don't wear baseball caps." He said but Ricardo is wearing one in their photo shoot, she said..."YES. But, he wears baseball caps!" And, like in MANY talks with her before, it hit me... YES...My husband does wear baseball caps!!! That's who he is! [ Thank You Jesus for always bringing the right Godly Women into my life at the right moment, when I need to hear and listen to you!]

I was blinded expecting us to be perfectly matching, somewhat posy but natural, smiley and picture perfect, BUT it didn't happen for us. [In my mind....Perfect!]   I needed to realize that Ricardo, he simply doesn't like pictures. He even told Casey at the beginning of our shoot. And, during the shoot he told me, "You are not my favorite person right now!" [ In so many words, HA.]

And, you know what?

I wasn't my favorite person at the time either. Blinded and wanting MORE. More than we could give. Pushing my family to look like everyone else....perfect. But, we are NOT. And, that's what I learned, that's what I have accepted as the weeks after our shoot have progressed. The other families LOOK AMAZING! They are SO warm and Holiday like and I love their pictures and I thought, we look "BLAH" and just there! But, truth is. Every family is individual. Every family is their own entity and we are all different. My family, I thought, doesn't look as picture perfect as all the others, but I now know, that, that's not true!

I have been so disobedient with HIM. Forcing my family to look and be who they are not. But, HE always shows me , reality. Reminding me. That MY plans are NOT HIS plans and for a good reason!!!!!

Now, the pictures. Which are just AMAZING!!!! Casey truly captures who you are and makes it all look...well PERFECT! [Ha.] I was just being a HUGE baby about it all.....or so I have been told! [Ha.]

{Please visit Dream Tree Photography: Casey Ayala is awesome at what she allows her imagination and creativity to capture!}


Dã Quỳ said...

Love this entry, Connie!

I think you said all for me too! Surely!

Thanks and God bless you all !

hugs & kisses

Marcela said...

Great pictures!!!

Casey Ayala (DreamTree Photography) said...

Aww, Connie. You're always making me cry womannnn! Okay, now who's the one with the above average hormones?? Me or you?? LOLL

Thank you for this post... this is exactly what I love my job so... capturing families as they are... THEY ARE... not as everybody else, because like you said, we're all different.

Love you!

Connie Leon said...

Thank you Ladies!!!!

@Casey, you are too funny!! Thank you for last night!!! Love you and have not opened our gifts...they are my THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR THEM!!!! :D