Friday, March 11, 2011

Seemingly Perfect.

It's a lie to think that we are perfect.

We are not.

At all.

I have never been one to even remotely express or act perfectly.

I am human. I make many mistakes. I've said it a millions husband is not always polite, my son doesn't always match and me..I am not ever perfect!

The fact that my husband and I have decided to be and do things in certain order and with specific purpose...doesn't make us perfect. We have been through a lot the last 12 years, together and as individuals. Never loosing sight of either fact. While we were still living at home we realized that there were individual "monsters" to tame, with our respective families. We "resolved" and agreed to leave behind those issues and "monsters", behind us not only the day we moved in together, but also 8 months later when we met at the altar. It's written, and I say it to young couples all the time. Ricardo taught me after we moved in together and got married that we could no longer be slaves to those "monsters" and problems within our former families, because now we had a family of our own to nurture and care for.

Married or not, life as a live in couple doesn't work until you resolve that, that life is only about 2 people who rely on God, you and your significant other.

At first this didn't resonate or make sense with me, the way it may not make sense to you.

My mom was a "single" mom for many years; I, being the oldest took on many, many, many roles; assistant provider for my 3 younger siblings, emotional supporter to my mom, over-all make things better for my family person, acting as a friend to my mom, mom to my younger siblings, sister to my siblings,student, employee and then some. Life was not easy. I endured a lot with my mom, good and bad. It was her and I through think and thin. But, she understood the day that I moved out and more so the day that I got married that I had to be everything I was to her but for my husband now. That her problems and issues had to be handled to the best of her ability. She was not selfish and never attempted to hold me back from becoming a completely, devoted wife and now mother. She understands my role and I appreciate that respect and the space that she has given me to develop my marriage in His eyes and for His will and that now, as a grown woman..who seeks Faith and Wisdom, I can once more be her friend while she is my mom.

I am and have always been there for my mom as she has been there for me..but just as she once left her family to seek a family of her own..I left mine. It has made me stronger and wiser and allows me new perspective to handle new situations.

Respect. Space. God. Two People. Faith. Open Heart. Obedience. Honesty. Love. It's what it takes to begin a Faith-filled, loving, devoted and committed Marriage of Two.  {I THINK}

This is all random talking. I am on a journey this Lent season to resolve, seek and share.

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