Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Camila Isabel's Journey ♥

Today is day 12! 

Yes, Camila Isabel, as we decided on, has been in our arms for 12 days now! 

Meaning that my adventure as a "Momma of Dos" has officially begun! If it wasn't "official" already...ha. It's been... a that at this point...I wouldn't change for the world... 

As usual my children do not wait FOR ANYONE! (Kinda like their parents....)

Camila was SUPPOSE to arrive last week, March 30th,only 2 weeks early, via scheduled c-Section. Now let me clarify. I have Gestational Diabetes and my children will never be able to wait the usual 40 weeks or until their "due date" they have their own "due date". I tend to be very much in the know about what my body and more importantly what my children want. Therefore, Camila came into this world 3 weeks "early", or before her "due date". 

Now, her arrival, was not "as" prolonged or "painful" as Santiago's where being that he was my first child my doctor decided to induce my labor to attempt a "natural labor"; which as you may know was FAR from natural from the beginning due to so many complications. Which looking back now, I think came to be because of my nerves as a first timer! 

Camila's journey begins on a Thursday morning {March 10th}, at my 35 week fetal/maternal monitoring and ultrasound, which as of my 30th week I was receiving on a weekly basis. Again, let me clarify, because of my Gestational Diabetes (or HIGH BLOOD SUGAR levels) I was monitored during my last 2 months to assure that number one my baby was continuously moving (there is a high rate of stillbirth gestation due to high uncontrolled blood sugar levels in pregnancy's like mine) and secondly to assure that she wasn't growing too big, too fast, which she was

But, things were "under control". 

Well at this visit the doctor said to me "Are you feeling contractions?" To which I replied.... "No...", well it wasn't long after, that Sunday as a matter of fact, that I actually started feeling contractions but they were not too bad and I was able to withstand them. 

For the next 2 weeks I would feel contractions on and off, some worse than others but "bearable". Come the 2-week mark with contractions {March 24th}, I was feeling weary and very cautious of what I think the doctor should be doing...again..I know what my body and my children want... it's my body and they are my children...right?! 

I had called my doctor for 2 weeks, saw my doctor for 2 weeks and every time she told me "Oh yeah, that's natural, you're going to feel them, you're ok...see you on March 30th!" 

Thursday; March 24th:

After numerous complaints to my doctors office, much frustration and at this point, doubts of my choice in physician..which will remain un-named...I was angry, tired, in pain and ready to have my baby. Regardless of who else was ready! That morning I went in for my usual weekly monitoring. My blood pressure through the roof and the contractions about 8 to 9 minutes apart and mildly painful at times. Well I was so tired and done with my doctor's office that they could have told me to move or the bus would run me over and JUST to see them squirm, I would have stood there, stared them straight in the face and said "NO, you move." Angry and tired. I was determined to have things MY WAY. The doctor in fetal medicine a much more understanding and gentle but affirming woman of medicine, decided that she wasn't going to let me go one more day like this. She called my doctor, who at this point I think had, had it with my complaining...I couldn't have possibly been her worse patient, my husband claims I could have been....he thinks, I know too much...for my own good. So that day, I think she simply complied with the fetal medicine doctor's second opinion, just to shut me up. 

Oh that's not all I think she did but we will get there....

So, 4pm Thursday the fetal medicine doctor stated that "my doctor"  thought I should go to the hospital for further monitoring. Well at this point, I had asked for my doctor to see me in a more serious light, and so when she finally did, I wasn't having it. I headed home and proceeded to get ready for what I thought would be my last day home. I didn't arrive to the hospital until 7pm, after which they told me that my doctor had waited 2 hours for me, well I had been waiting for 2 weeks for her. So boo-hoo. 

The monitoring and extreme checkup's continued throughout the evening and we were discharged, yes discharged at around midnight. All I could think was, "great". I have to go another week and then some in pain and anxiety. We went home. With antibiotics. Apparently my pain was due to an infection, whatever. 

Friday; March 25th:

I had an 11 am appointment with my doctor. I went to it with NO expectations what-so-ever that, that would be the day....would you after 2 weeks!? I even left my hospital bags at home and my son at a nearby Aunt's house. Thinking I'd be right back. The whirlwind of events happened and I was not prepared for things to come at me so fast.... 

I went in to see the doctor, completely forgetting that they had asked me not to eat "in case my doctor wanted to do my c-section that day"....."yeah right.", I thought and ate breakfast. I saw my doctor, who for a moment seemed un-happy with me, uncomfortable with my pain. Funny. I was her nightmare patient. How sad for her and what a disappointment for me. The appointment took about 15 minutes it was about 11:30am when she asked me how long it would take me to get from her office to the hospital? Apparently "my blood pressure was too high". I was only about 10 minutes away from the hospital. Well she decided right there and then to end my "complaining" for good! She said that even though I had breakfast she was doing my c-section and sent me off to the hospital to get prepped. I know I am just one more number in her bank account and that at that point she is on her schedule not mine or my child's, so I felt very little pity for her and was even angered by her demeanor, how dare she

But, before I could even get adventure began...

12:00pm- Arrived and checked in to the hospital for the next hour my body (and mind) would be prepped. Probed and poked, asked too many questions. A quick call from my husband allowed my mindset to prepare..he simply said "Connie. I will be there. Relax. Remain calm." That's all it took...30 minutes seemed eternal. He was on his way. I should do as he said..he is my husband after all. The keeper of my heart, the Father of my children, the person God has chosen to share my life, soul, dreams and Faith with. I took his advice. Despite all the questions; me completely naked under a gown being totally stripped of what I call, my body. I remained as my husband told me to, "calm". Deep breath in, deep breath out. Another needle stick. Some blood drawn, an IV line running and still only 30 minutes had gone by. 

12:30pm- My husband arrived. Thank God. A huge deep sigh of relief. He was here. I was not alone. AT NO time was I ever, alone. I know this, but God has given me strength in Him and with Him but also through husband. He is my rock. I knew he'd be praying all the way to the hospital and that I should remain calm so that I too could pray and that our prayers as parents could be heard. We were not alone. This I knew. 

For the next 30 minutes, 4 nurses, yes, 4 nurses running around in a frenzy would complete registration and medical preparation for a surgical procedure. As "the doctor" was already waiting for us! It was like a scene from a movie. To the O.R. STAT! No really the surgery should happen at 1pm or so because my doctor had to get to her lunch break and the rest of clinical day as soon as possible. Time is money you know. I know I am being very un-fair and judgmental about my doctor and her stance, but this is how I felt

1:00pm- Anesthesia walks in and introduces herself. Still calm. Now with  my husband by my side. Nothing else mattered. At that time they asked me to take my wedding band and engagement ring off, something I don't do often, I handed them to my husband and he put them away. At around 1:05pm, I was reeled into the O.R., all I heard was "Connie"...and my husband came running after me, he gave me a kiss as I was taken into the OR. One last breath. The next hour was difficult. 

I was taken into the O.R. and given my epidural. At that time, everything was numbed from the chest down. I was laid out on a table in that same white plain O.R. room that you see in movies right before the patient closes his eyes and all you hear is a flat-line. Yup. It was that scary. I had been here before but for some reason this time seemed un-real. I was then told that several procedures would be done. A catheter would be placed, not a happy time, my belly would be poked with a sharp object "just to test all was numb", and I would start to feel pressure and touch but no pain. Like a roasted chicken and experimental hamster all at once.....


Crazy out of body experience, I think so

Being that I have read all the books and worked in the medical field, I am very VERY vocal about what I am feeling, how I am feeling and what I FEEL is going wrong. The anesthesiologist, told me I would get the shivers and feel sleepy. That I did. Soon, I felt a tightening in my chest, and shallow slow breaths. ALL I COULD THINK WAS... REMAIN, CALM! Not allowing my brain to panic, I took slow deep breaths, continuously, as the anesthesiologist recommend. I soon saw dark spots before my eyes. And a sudden urge to sleep. But, was too scared. I didn't want to sleep and couldn't close my eyes. I felt that if I did, I may just take my last breath and never see my new baby girl. I started praying and held back tears. All the while the doctor is asking if "I feel ok?", and "is everything ok?", I kept talking to her and talked to myself to ease the anxiety. By this time my husband had entered the room and I knew he would panic if I did. I kept reaching out for his hand and kept looking over for his reassuring smile. Both there EVERY time. At around 1:50pm the first gurgle and attempt to cry of a baby girl....then for minutes, pushing and pulling and tugging apparently my uterus was also upset at the doctor and she didn't want to give Camila up! All the while. My brain and my heart are racing and I remained calm. No panic here, no sir!  I couldn't close my eyes. All those bad thoughts of leaving this world and my children and husband on their own, gone. At 1:58pm. "WOW, She's a BIG baby, LOTS of hair!" My husband face. Glee. True love. A Blessing. A HUGE sigh of relief, for several minutes shuffling. The doctors assuring me all was well and that this would be over soon. "8lbs 13oz!" Big baby...the doctor stating "yeah..she's a Diabetic" husband came over to me several times to make sure all was well. All the while assuring that baby was ok too. At first glance we both said "She looks like Santiago!" 

At that moment it was "HELLO CAMILA!" nothing else felt so right, nothing else felt better.... tears filled  my eyes. I could hear the commotion as they prepared her to take her to the nursery. My husband rushed back and forth from her area to mine and then brought her over for me to kiss her..over and over again...

She was here. Thank You Jesus. Thank God. She is HERE! Oh BOY is she here! 

In full effect...Little bitty Mama not only has an attitude according to her daddy but also a GREAT set of lungs! 

The hours to follow...the days that came after her arrival....all of the emotions of having a beautiful baby girl as a new addition to our already beautiful baby in the works...


No comments: