Monday, January 2, 2012

{S@HM!}

For 2 weeks I was in Love! I became...temporarily... a Stay@HomeMomma! I love being home with my children, if I could do it permanently, I would. If I could be a Stay@HomeMomma permanently I would probably attempt to start my own business, no, not photography! I love taking pictures but it's an art that I am yet to master. If I had a nice camera and could take better pictures of my children, it would be all I ask for, HA! One day.

Going back to work on Wednesday is going to be a challenge number one; waking up at 5am again is going to break me! Ha. Then, I have to get dressed, get my kids up and dressed and everyone ready all before 6:30am. It's 1pm today, we are all still in our PJ's! Secondly, leaving my children again. It's always, always been a challenge for me. It had just gotten better around October so we shall see. It breaks my heart to drop them off and walk away. But, times are of struggles and sacrifices so I must do it. Life goes on. My kids will once more adjust, the question is, will I? Then there is all the in-between; the morning smiles and snuggling, the afternoon laughter and tears, the "Mom, ahhhh SHREK!", and Cami's gibberish and coo's. It's all the little things that I miss on a day to day...that I will miss... such is life. I must trust in God.

One day.

It's a difficult task for me to be a Momma who works outside the home, it's one that even after almost 2 and a half years, I still can't shake. I was never once to think that being a Stay@HomeMomma was even an option. I thought I will always work outside the home and it will be okay! Then I had my son, and all I wanted was to be at home. Then I got preggers again, and I definitely knew being a Stay@HomeMomma at 30 was all I wanted to do!

One day.

But, the year ahead is a long one and who knows what plans God has for us. In the mean time. All I know is that I must FOCUS.

It's a key word in my mind today!

FOCUS. Remain focused on the task at hand and God will light the way... it's the only thing on my mind today... remain.



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