Friday, January 28, 2011

Mama~Mama~Mama

As you all may know. I am pregnant. 29 weeks to be exact. And well. I love to read and read as much as I can. When I can.


When I was pregnant with my son, I had nothing else to do but read. But it's been 16 months since he arrived and since then I've had to "STOP" reading, my books at least. HA. I read to him all the time....I mean I catch the occasional "Mommy Magazine" as my husband calls them. And a couple of paragraphs during my commute downtime, of books that I opened, 16 months ago!

I am determined to go back to that bookworm me! (Have you played that game on Yahoo...I love it!)

It started this morning at my weekly fetal/maternal monitoring and ultrasound, as I thought about what I needed to remember and recall for my newborn when she arrives; like should she sleep on her back or on her belly and should I talk to her like an adult from day one or can I goo-goo ga-ga for a couple of weeks?

In all I need a refresher.


So, I am in research mode! I want to seek out the top 10 questions that new mommy's have! And then bring them here...

In the mean time..I have to organize my thoughts....not that I haven't been in the bloggy kind of mood just that LIFE...you know that thing that we revolve around...it's in the way man... Ha.

So, I think I need a little Bloooogggg-cation..I need to organize my thoughts and think things out really well for a bit..not too long I promise..but feel free to browse back and catch up on old blog post you may have missed!

I will be back soon...no worries...

Newest Belly pic! :D

Thursday, January 27, 2011

In the beginning of time….

[This Post was written in Nov 2009, but still very accurate]

I really wish I would have kept a written journal of the last 8 weeks…. it’s not  a blur, but it’s soo much that I can’t remember! Ricardo and I felt like we were on that TLC show “Bringing Home Baby”…it was very unrealistic. To know that THIS baby is yours and that you are experiencing what all these other first time parents have, is just mind-blowing.

Recovery was very frustrating. Trying to jump out of bed as my baby wailed that he was hungry,dirty, needed to be burped, wet, hot, cold or just needed to cuddle (this last part cracks my husband up). 

The sleeping…well for the first 2 weeks not only did I not know anything about the outside world but I also didn’t remember what daylight looked like. Only waking to feed, change, burp, or clean my child. I slept as many hours as he did and our usual time to get up was 3pm. Our days would just begin and soon after, it was night and time to go back to bed.

The first two to fours weeks we spent in hibernation. The entire family(Ricardo, Santiago and myself)! We only left the house if needed, at least the baby and I. Ricardo was our errand boy, as if we were part of some secret cult that only sent out for rations once a month. He ran all the errands, paid all the bills and helped me with EVERYTHING that I could not physically do.

To say the least 8 weeks later my husband is burnt out. But, here is the real insanity, Ricardo was laid off one week before Santiago was born and well he has not found a job. Ricardo often joked about how I would finish my studies and become a doctor so that he could become a Stay at Home Dad, a Mr. Mom if you will. Well after 10 years his dream has come true..I am not a doctor but he is a Stay at Home Dad and despite the fact that I thought I would end up staying home I had to return to work only 7 weeks after Santiago was born to help keep our home afloat.

So, now he is getting a taste of what it’s like to be me. Don’t get me wrong…I am still me…I worry, clean my house, help with the cooking, do laundry and now take care of my baby…all after a full 8 hrs of work! And after only 8 days of it, he is convinced that sometimes your “dreams” are a bit over-rated. {Ha.}

In this attempt to relate, discuss, transcend and share my life with the world from this day on I will begin to blog about our little life. Typing up stories about motherhood,being a working mom, Ricardo’s progress as he finds work and finishes school and about life in general. {2011 NOTE: WOW. I have kept this up!!!!} I hope that this new chapter in our lives interest you as much or more as the last one did.

In all yes motherhood is a challenge, being a working mom and wife is not easy but I love the two men in my life and I WOULDN’T CHANGE IT FOR THE WORLD. {2011 NOTE: I STILL SAY AND THINK THIS!!!!!!}

What is to come ONLY GOD knows and as I hope you know my FAITH is all I have, my opinions about it and how I convey it can be strong…but that’s the only way I know how. In no way should anyone think that I am ever trying to impose my beliefs on them, you are your own person and nothing I say should change what you believe or who you are, unless that’s what you want. {2011 NOTE: I STILL SAY AND THINK THIS!!!!!!}

God Bless and Enjoy the ride….we sure are! :D

With my Chunk

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Santiago’s Journey. {Sept 2009}

{This Blog Post is from Nov 2009; after the birth of my son, BUT STILL VERY ACCURATE!}

It has been about 2 months since my last entry.

As you may have guessed I had my baby, Santiago Isaias. He is amazing and I want to share with the world what it has been like…the best way to introduce him is with his journey into this world….

First, I found a blog which I never posted from 9/4/09; it was pretty relevant at the time and could be an intro to what was to come…

[“Near the end”
Or so they say.

Since Sunday I have felt "uncomfortable", despite the promises made by the doctor’s office; "If you feel like something is just not right you call us!" I have not heard back from them in 2 days!

I went to my routine monitoring and ultrasound this week but was only left with more questions. At this point, I feel like the confusion is not helpful. But, I will have no other choice than to wait and see.

I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed and can't wait to leave work in a week. I have so much to do at home.]

And it ends… not sure where I was going with that but I know I was in utter despair and completely exhausted.  It’s true what EVERYONE says… when you come to the “end” it feels eternal!!!

The last couple of weeks, which really were NOT the last couple of weeks, because I was delivered 3 weeks early, but to me they were the much NEEDED last weeks… I could not have waited until October 9th to deliver and honestly as I told my husband and friends…neither could Santiago. He was ready, I knew it and he knew it. And thank GOD, my doctor knew it!

WITH THAT SAID….

It ALL started on Friday September 11, I had what would be my second to last doctor’s visit. I went in for a regular visit awaiting my last day at work which would be on Monday September 14th. But, with all the anxiety of getting it all over with and having my baby in my arms, I think I made myself sick! I had high blood pressure, excessive protein in my urine which was causing excessive and painful retaining of fluid which led to swelling. Once the doctor confirmed all of the above she simply stated “I want you on bed rest as of today.” I thought…impossible, I have one more week until I am induced and I need and have so much to do. But, she prohibited me from going back to work that day and from leaving my house except to see her or to go to the hospital IF I should go into labor. She ordered me to go home and to come back to see her for further monitoring on Monday with a 100% chance of being induced on Tuesday or Wednesday and an 80% chance of having a c-section, everything one week ahead of schedule.

For those of you who don’t know, I was already scheduled to be induced due to my gestational diabetes on the 21st of September but now I had further complications and everything was being moved up ONE WEEK!

Panic and anxiety came over me. Not about the delivery or my health or Santiago’s BUT I HAD SOOO MUCH TO DO! Everything else God was in control.  Relentless and worried I went to work to pick up some things and give my boss the notice that I had to be confined to a bed for the next 5 or 6 days, and then back  home.

The weekend passed and Monday was here.

I walked into my doctors office with a about a liter of urine, for protein sampling! Gave it to the nurse, had some blood draw and vitals taken. With that done it was more bad news, everything was still elevated and now I was looking to be induced as soon as the next day if a room was available. By the end of my visit around 10 am the OB/GYN coordinator and the doctor came rushing to me with smiles, "You are being admitted tomorrow night at 8pm."

The next day and half went by fast, after a mad dash for the finish line I was ready! With my bag was packed, my home as baby ready as it could be and “READY” physically, emotionally, and mentally we headed out. I wasn’t scared, just anxious and excited.

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Picture taken by our good friend Buritica

{Tuesday September 15th 2009}

As we walked out, our good friend Ricardo B. took the final picture of us as a couple, we would return as a threesome..Lol. A “real family”, baby and all.  The ride to the hospital was peace. For a while, no words, just our hearts beating through our throats, louder than the cars and noise outside. Ricardo and I drove the 25 minute drive to the hospital almost silent, only expressing that we were scared as we held hands and prayed. Suddenly the sky was beautiful and the trees were greener than ever. We drove up to the hospital searched for the Labor and Delivery parking lot and parked.

We gathered our things and began the walk up to the hospital, along the way from the parking lot a couple with three children walked passed us, looking at me with my belly and bags in hand the lady turned to us and said

“Felicidades y Buena Suerte.” (Congratulations and Good Luck!)

With deep breaths and nervous smiles Ricardo and I said “Gracias”.

Not knowing what was to come we walked into the quiet lobby and up to the volunteer desk attendant. An older man in a red vest, “Can I help you?” I said, “Yes, I am here to be admitted into labor and delivery.” Being that he was a bit old he looked at me and said, “Oh let me call them and make sure.” He looked for the number, called and spoke to the nurse “A young lady is here to be admitted”, he then said “Oh they are waiting for you.” He gave us the most confusing instructions on how to get to the 5th floor labor and delivery area. Ricardo and I then walked to the elevators and up to the 5th floor, down the hall and to the registration desk. A nurse and patient account representative were waiting for us to begin all the paper work needed to have a baby. It was insane.  Not the paper work, but I was there to have A BABY!

After that I was taken to my room and instructed to strip down and dress in the usual blue hospital gown. The excitement and nerves were no longer there…I was simply living it.

One nurse came in and started the preparation process, an IV, some blood work, preventative medications, medical instructions and questions..lots of questions. The room was filled with medical equipment for both baby and myself, I felt like a lab rat. Being probed and poked to assure accuracy and quality of the highly anticipated experiment…LIFE! Buawhahahaha!

Then another nurse came in asking if I could donate the baby Blood Cord supply…lots more questions and poking.  About an hour after my arrival at around 8:45pm, the nurse walked up to me and said "ok, I am going to give you the medicine to induce you."

At this point everything, everything became so overwhelming and emotional. Was I really here, was everything ok after all those questions and tubes of blood, could Santiago make it out ok and if so would he be healthy and would I be ok? So much could go wrong, so much could happen. I was so emotional during my entire pregnancy and so much had gone on in such short amount of time that about 2 hours after I was induced I actually broke down. The nurse walked in and stated that because my blood sugar and blood pressure was so elevated I had to be further  be confined to my hospital bed on extreme medications and monitors.

I wanted to have a natural delivery with more than traditional methods and a Doula.

The nurse stated though that the only thing I could  do was lay there in bed, I would get a catheter and medications that caused me to be drowsy, so no more getting up to the restroom and my blood sugar would be taken every hour as well as my blood pressure. I didn’t and couldn’t believe that after all I had read and learned I would be having the most medically induced labor and delivery! Tears, snot, chills, sweats, disappointment, horrible uncontrollable feelings filled and took over my body. I had prepared for 9 months to have Santiago naturally, calmly, with my family and at his own time. But, from my arrival at the hospital so much was already wrong with me that I was immediately brought back to reality.

For the next 24 hours I was not only confined to a bed but probed, poked and attached to so much that a “normal or natural” delivery had been throw out the window long before it even had a chance to squeeze in. I cried, uncontrollably for about 5 minutes, my mom and Ricardo attempting to console me as I slowly regained composure. With all my Faith and prayer throughout the night I accepted anything and everything that was to come not for me, but for Santiago. He was all that mattered now. This life was no longer about me.

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I was told that the drug given initially was less intense than what would come the following morning. Still all night I had cramps and irrepressible discomfort. Needless to say the night was not only uncomfortable and painful but sleepless as well. Yet the nurses somehow kept repeating that I should rest. It’s easier said than done.

Come 6 am, a new nurse, more medications, more needles and more blood work and the worse pain I have yet to feel. The breaking of my water and more contractions.

{Wednesday September 16th, 2009}

So, the new nurse was not only intense and unruly she was also very adamant about me having my baby as soon as possible. That didn’t make me mad, trust me, I wanted it all to be over as fast as possible as well. Because, despite the fact that the overnight contractions had been mild, they were still painful. And, now they were beginning to get stronger, closer and lasted longer. All signs that labor was well on its way. The morning hours seemed to become eternal as I waited for my OB/GYN to show her shining face at 8:30 am and break my water!

My morning seemed more painful than my night because the new nurse was all about changing positions while in bed!  Which would have made for a much more comfortable experience had I not been attached to every tube and needle in the hospital!  

So, I gracefully went with it, quietly and in pain waiting for that doctor to make my day…or so I thought!

And as planned and on time, unlike a doctor, at around 8:30 am, the much awaited and dreaded moment, Dr. Diase, came in to break my water. Probably the most pain I have ever been in, in my life. With no pain medication in my system, wanting to make the experience as natural as I could (laughing), I took some deep breaths and with fear and tears I got through it. Buckets of water poured out of me, as it was expected. After all I had been retaining excess fluid in every part of my lower extremities for about 2 weeks now caused by the Gestational Diabetes.  Swollen legs and feet, as well as an 8 lbs weight gain at the end of my pregnancy put me at about 200lbs at time of delivery; I calculate that about 20 of those pounds came gushing out onto that bed as water. After lots of pressure, a warm feeling; like when you wet the bed in your sleep as a child, comfortable and a sense of relief, the water was broken! It was only “a matter of hours” before the baby would be here. I should have started dilating pretty quickly and in no time we would be ready to push. 

Most of that day and all the “checkups” for lack of better words, are thankfully a blur.  I do remember lots of pain, lots of awkward breathing and everyone reminding me of the fact that there was pain medicine, as my family continued to fill the room and crowd over me. No embarrassment was felt because the pain overshadowed it. The day was long and all I wanted was to deliver.

The contractions felt as if my little man was making his own way out of my womb with some kind of invisible crafting knife he got for Christmas and my patience was quickly running out. No longer happy to be in the situation I remember being annoyed by my husband’s voice with his reassuring comments and comforting touch. I wanted to slash his neck and pull out his kidneys so that he knew what I was going through. Again, all else is a blur (because it’s true once you deliver you forget it all!).

It was now about 6pm, and I had been in labor for about “oh a mere 22 hours or so” of which the last 10 had been pretty intense to say the least. And before the doctor came back to check on me, I decided that at that point, I was done. I need the good stuff and I don’t mean illicit drugs, I mean the really good stuff! Immediate relief and a real walk on the clouds came for the next 24 hours; numb, no feelings, all was pink and fluffy bunnies and the answer to all my problems was “YES”.  True this landed me in the least and far from natural experience of labor and delivery but I had to, I love my son but enough was enough. And without knowing what was to come or how much longer Santiago could torture his mother, I did it. I had to do it, “they” told me to do it. I had become a sellout, a less than woman, and half bread if you will, with no regards to the possible side effects of what all that medication could cause my unborn child or me. But, the pain was so intense I could have yanked my eyes out and thrown then at the doctor. But, with a couple of deep breaths and long pointy needle to my spine, all gone! I wouldn’t practice my self-control, reach my happy place or have controlled breathing sessions with the hubby but you know what NO MATTER how I DID ITI did it!

At around 6:30 maybe 7, the doctor came into my room to check on my “progress”. She really is a sweet woman, tall, thin and with two little ones of her own. After my epidural she could have chopped off my finger one by one and I would have loved her just the same. She didn’t….the verdict? Well, after 24 hours of labor I had dilated to about a 6, maybe a 7! If you are a woman with children…now is when you gasp for air and feel not only pity for me but utter understanding. A “Bless your heart” is in order.

What did this mean…in short….I was getting NO WHERE! After my water had been broken I should have dilated about a centimeter an hour but it had been almost 12 hours, you do the math. After all that pain all I could think was “ARE YOU KIDDING ME!” The doctor then went on to say… “The baby is head down but face down in the birth canal (baby’s should be face up when they are delivered, for their safety), so he is no longer safe to come out this way!”…ooohhh did I mention that only 30 minutes before I had decided to get my epidural, do we remember that, yeah well! The doctor then decided that they would attempt to “manually”, yes manually flip the baby around. At this point my legs were like noodles and my body was exhausted. And, as all the nurse power prepared to perform this process, they also quickly realized that at 200lbs and pumped full of epidural I was not gonna budge. (By the way, I had been at the hospital so long I had now gone through almost FOUR shift changes! Not even noticing when the last one had left, the current nurse was also pregnant and by the looks of it…she could have had her baby before me and with my luck she would have shoved me off the bed and said “blop” here is my baby HAHA! And run off…end scene).

By this time things began to go completely downhill, I started to feel really cold and began to tremble beyond control. I started feeling a burning sensation all over and the nurses and doctors quickly brought in an anesthesiologist, my worst nightmare was occurring, my epidural was running out. I was starting to feel pain again, God forbid and I just wanted this to end. The nurses stopped trying to move me and covered me in blankets. Then the doctor uttered those fearful words, subconsciously I had wished she said them hours before, “Emergency C-section”, they were heaven sent.

A new phase, we now had to wait, there were THREE, THREE other “Emergency C-sections” ahead of me so it was now about 8pm. The medical staff at one very busy maternity ward had exhausted all possibilities with me and as if planned everything had NOT turned out exactly as I imagined or as naturally as I would have wished BUT now after 24 hours of labor, I was steps away from being a mommy! At last.

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Then after about an hour of waiting (now 9pm) the doctor came in, “ohhp, we have a cancelled C-section and you are next.” (Always with a smile, she really is sweet and I always felt as if she sympathized with my pain and waiting.) I was in and out of my own little madness caused by the epidural so I vaguely remember that trip to the OR; I know I was prepped and reeled into surgery. I remember being placed on the surgery bed, being told the process that I would go through, and being asked questions. Then after about 20 minutes of being told that there was cutting and lots of pressure going on the doctor said “ok, we are ready for dad.”  

This meant they had cut through all the layers of fat, past scar tissue from my previous surgeries, into my uterus and were ready to detach that life that for the last 9 months had depended solemnly on my body. There would be no more monthly visits to the doctor’s office to hear our baby’s heart beat through my belly. No more prenatal checkups or testing. No more classes to be taken in preparation for our big day. The baby showers were REALLY over this time. {Ha.} The anticipation of WHEN, was NOW. No more wondering what or who he really looked liked, despite the doctors and nurses attempts to say he looked like his father in those blurry black and white pictures. No more weekly ultrasounds and monitoring where Ricardo would sit in a big comfy chair watch “Regis and Kelly” or “the View” and pass out while I sat strapped to machines listening attentively to assure that Santiago’s heart is beating and his movements are consistent. No more late night belly talks, prayers, tears or fears that he wouldn’t make it this far. His kicks through my stretched skin which reassured me every time I felt sick or overwhelmed will now be felt with full force (not that they weren’t before!) with his tiny feet in the flesh. Those sleepless nights, that I complained so much about, when his butt or head were wedge up against my lungs or kicks and punches caused my bladder to explode, would end here. Now when we lay in bed, thinking “what is he doing?!” we will know! No more nausea and heartburn supposedly caused by his hairy little head. This was it.

During the surgery the anesthesiologist asked me if I could feel anything, and at some point he would give his magic wand a pump and tah-dah, pain no more.

Ricardo finally appeared through those OR double doors, camera in hand, and wearing those blue paper scrubs and face mask, for those of you who know my husband, he is easily grossed out and very scared of this type of situation. I could through my daze sense his fear and could almost hear his body tremble and shut down in disbelief.  As I laid there, loopy and split open like a dissected lizard ready to become a mom, Ricardo clenched to the camera as if it were going to erase the experience and send us forward (or backward) 10 years, the moment was here. After only minutes of tugging, pulling and pushing (the doctors, not me!) at about 9:27pm…those words…the culmination of 9 months, “Wow, he’s a big BOY!…A really big boy!” and then through gurgling cries, the sound of water being pumped out of his mouth, then louder cries…MY SON…Santiago Isaias Gomez, he was here, in this world, ready to be loved and seen. His arrival was short of spectacular and he sure knows how to build up the anticipation causing so much suspense and yes, DRAMA! (If you know him now…he is not patient and he will bring on the drama if need be!)

For several minutes all I could hear was shuffling around, lots of tennis shoes speedily getting my baby cleaned, weighed, checked, wrapped and ready to be loved, the doctor had allowed my husband to cross into the OR and take pictures and seconds seemed like years! Finally HE emerged from behind the blue curtain a bundle with a little puffy, chalk white face his body wrapped in the usual hospital receiving blanket like a glow worm and his head covered with a tiny pink and blue beanie.

He was in my eyes perfect and best of all HEALTHY!

Because I was delivered so early the thought was that he would not be coming home with us and would have to be in the NICU for about 1 week to make sure his lungs were fully developed but by the looks and sounds of everything he was perfectly healthy. I had never worried about this, because I knew that God would not make us wait any longer to start our lives together. With tears in his eyes and the sound of his heart beating through his throat, his hands still trembling, not sure of what we just did, Ricardo with a cracking voice and a smile on his face said, “You wanna giv’em a kiss?” He brought him near and with the bit of strength left in my body I shed some tears, kissed my baby and passed out for the remaining of the procedure on the surgery table! I was EXHAUSTED and anxious to feel better. As I began to shake uncontrollably again and was prepped to go to the recovery area all I can remember is the exhaustion.

What I know is that Ricardo ran that victory lap with Santiago as they were photographed more than Jon and Kate on their worse days. The hall was filled with paparazzi aka my family. I was reeled off to recovery and later visited by Ricardo and my parents. All I knew was that this part….was over. (It makes me tear up thinking about it all over again.)…. It was a looooooong journey! Very trying BUT YES….SOOOOOOOOOOO WORTH IT!

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And it’s not true that you forget about it all once the baby is here….well at least not in my case.  Yes the last 9 months had been erased but those last 24 hours still very vivid in my failing mind and worn out body.  But now, I had to be stronger than before, recuperate and move forward, there was now a beautiful baby boy to care for! And again…my child is not very patient! 

After this around maybe uhm 11:30pm or midnight I was taken to my hospital room and formally introduced to my son.  And then….a whole new me emerged. The nurse asked if he should take Santiago to the nursery to which I wanted to say "are you crazy lady didn’t you just see them rip this child from my body and now want me to let him gouhmmm no!" He was almost immediately attached to my breast for the feeding and diapers and tears started flying everywhere!

We were to remain in the hospital for the next three days, filled with lots of getting used to, lots of visits and frustration. The next day after my delivery I was forced to stand up and get out of bed, when I made it over to the mirror all I could think was “I look horrible and I feel like a train just ran me over, stopped and said oh wait I missed a spot…and then backed up and ran me over again.” My body was limp, my insides where sore, my soul had been lifted and I felt as if I were having an outer body experience. Is it hard and painful to have a baby? HECK YES! Is it worth it and would I do it again? If GOD allows me to…In a heartbeat!  Not soon though! Not soon.

Thank you to EVERYONE who not only made this last year an awesome one but also put up with my pregnant self!

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Tuesday, January 25, 2011

When a "funny feeling" turns into a 9 month journey...

[ This Blog Post is from 2009, when I was still pregnant with my son, but still very accurate]

34 weeks ago I started a journey.

A new journey in my life. A journey unlike any other in my entire 28 years, and that would definitely change my life. I wouldn't have had it any other way or change it for anything in the world.

It was surreal at first and slowly with every growing day the belly popped and the baby's heart and movements started to leave me in amazement. Amazement of what the Lord has created for us to experience.

Life.

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Life is so amazing, being formed within for 40 weeks. Despite all the ups and downs that have come from this journey, it's been a perfect one of bonding with this tiny child inside of my womb. His little pushes and tugs though at times painful have made my heart grow to a size so big that at the end of this journey I may have to cut a piece out and freeze it for a later date.

God is amazing and HIS timing is incredible. 10 years after having met Ricardo, not the typical person who I thought I would end up with, and 3 years after our marriage I would have never thought to have been blessed in such wonderful ways. Had you told me 34 weeks ago that this year would be the year that Ricardo and I accomplished this dream I probably wouldn't have believed it. Our lives have not been easy. But, this journey has allowed us to not only continue to grow in our love and our FAITH but to grow as individuals with more goals and accomplishments to attain. I personally feel like I have learned who and what is important. I have placed a special emphasize on peace and have learned to ignore those people and those situations that just have no positive meaning in my life.

I have grown to appreciate my mom and my husband much more. To know what it's like to bare life and to be a mother. Needing my mom at every moment and every breath, wondering if the pushing and pulling inside and all around my body is normal. Needing her when my feet look like balloons and my back feels like an elephant stepped on it. Needing my husband just to be there. To be the one who endures the tears, the yelling, the hysteria, the joys, the laughter and the love. I have attempted all my life to be very independent, very self-sufficient, to regress now goes against my will but is much needed. I am very fortunate to have these two people in my life, I am not sure how other women do it and being the big baby that I am, I am not sure that I would have survived on my own.  Though my books say that instinct kicks in and you should know what and how to do it, I am not sure to be that strong. Which is why I consider myself delightfully blessed to have my mom and my husband in my life.

The journey will soon come to an end, only to start a whole new phase in my life; Motherhood. As if being a daughter, sister, student, employee, friend and wife weren’t hard enough God has now given me one more duty.

He knows that I can handle it and that
I can embrace it.
I will rise to this challenge with grace and Love like every other.
I am Thankful for life.
I am Blessed.

Monday, January 24, 2011

10 years in the making... { Written a little before our Son was born in 2009}

[This Blog Post is from 2009 but all very accurate.]

Going back and watching my wedding video brings back so many memories.. already gone.

Some happy and some very sad.

Ricardo and I met in 1999, "OFFICIALLY". We actually met in 1996, when I was 15 and he was 17,we were merely introduced, that was all that my two older and very protective guy cousin's allowed. Ricardo lived in an apartment complex and was best friends with my cousin, we had gone over to swim in the pool at the complex. Ricardo came over just to say "Hi" and to talk to my cousin. So, we both went, "un-noticed".

It wasn't until 1999, when I graduated from H.S. in Mission, Texas and moved here to Houston to start college that we "OFFICIALLY" met. We were set up as a "blind date", my cousin was dating his now wife and didn't want me to be left out so he set us up for a double date. Reluctantly, both Ricardo and I accepted. From that moment, it would all begin.

We met August 13,1999 after a rocky first date we never let each other go again; on our first date Ricardo's dad's truck was totaled by a couple of guys who claimed that Ricardo hit their car as we enetered a restaurant parking lot. They stole my purse and messed up his truck, all while we were having dinner. After that date, as a scared 18-year-old new to such a big city, I wanted nothing else but to go back "home" to the valley and never come back. {HA!} That didn' t happen.

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We went on to get to know each other for about 3 months, and then on November 2, 1999 we started our courtship. {We both knew, this was it. Ricardo got me a promise ring about 2 years after we started dating (courtship).}

Flash forward to August 13,2005, Ricardo and I became engaged, yes, after 6 years of dating! We had finally reached a point in our lives when we thought we were ready to move forward. Then in the same year I graduated from college, we bought our first house and started planning our wedding! All made for a very good year in both of our lives.

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On August 19,2006, 7 years after everything began, we were married. 

That year, our wedding was the best thing that we could have ever done! We were so happy and excited to have such an amazing moment in our lives.
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The following year in March of 2007, Ricardo lost his grandfather. Having been Blessed with his presence at our wedding it was a very difficult and trying moment in Ricardo's life and the wedding video brings him back (physically) into our lives, because he is always in our hearts...

Now, September 2009, 10 years (technically 13 years!) after Ricardo and I met, 3 years after our wedding we wait for another AMAZING moment of our lives.

To become parents!

It's amazing to look back at the pictures in our wedding video of us as children and then dating; so young, so innocent, with no real knowledge of what God would bring into our lives at 28 (me) and 30 (Ricardo).

God is amazing and his doings and our purpose is what keeps us moving!  

We know that we are Blessed to have met each other and that we could have never come this far without each other in our lives. Ricardo is the person who motivates me to be a better me, to do more than I know I can and to always smile and laugh no matter who is watching. He is an amazing person and will be an amazing father. I can only wish that other couples are as Blessed as we are ( and more!)!

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DO YOU KNOW ME?!

Ok, some of you may or may not "know me".

I decided to go back and tell you a little about my family and how we have made it here...where we are now...

The easiest way was to go back to my OLD BLOG and pull my FAVORITE BLOGS and post them here!

Therefore. This week. You will learn about ME! Yaay.

Hope you like!

So, here we go.....

Friday, January 21, 2011

Friday Tutorials!

Now don't get me wrong, I am by NO means an expert at anything! {Ha. That sounds horrible} What I mean is, I am learning! I have only been a Momma for a short 16 months! {Ha.}


BUT, I so LOVE projects! I may in fact be the "Queen of Unfinished Projects" but I love to have ideas, create and start anything NEW!


So, here are some of my most recent projects and the tutorials that I used. {I simply youtubed what I wanted to do and presto!}

Here we go:

My first project which I thought I would start when Santiago was in my belly was crocheting. I love it now and am glad I finally did it!

So,  I made my first hat just in time for winter.

Now I initially followed THIS VIDEO HERE.

But, then got some help from my Mother-in-Law and Ricardo's Grandmother and then finally combined both teachings and got it done!

Here is the hat I made:


My second project was BRACELETS! These have been so much fun! I loved learning how to do it and it was just so easy, I have not stopped!

To make these I simply USED THIS VIDEO HERE.

And this was my result:



And finally, a project that I loved but still need to tweek was TU-TUs. This one was a bit uhm difficult to master. I made it over my bed. {Explaining: My son was in the living room with my husband and the only way to keep them both from calling my name or asking what I was doing..I hid. Hehehehe} But, the next one will be better. I hope. Hehehehe.

For this one, I found not only the simplest way to do it but the cutest girl ever who gives the tutorial.


And this is what I came up with:


NOW, My favorite store to buy all of my "project making supplies" is HOBBY LOBBY! And in each aisle they have instruction sheets that match the products they are selling. I picked up instruction sheets for crocheting and for jewelry making...they have been my inspiration! Plus Hobby Lobby has the best sales and coupons!  {This is totally my opinion, I am in no way affliated with Hobby Lobby nor have they asked me to give a review or my share this information with you. Again, this is all my own personal opinion.}

What projects have you been up to lately!?
Don't be shy!
Share!!!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

♥ Time Line & Updates ♥

This year promises to be a good one.

Here is what we have going on:

Jan.

My nephew turns 1!

Feb.

Valentine's Day

March

My Maternity photo shoot
My Baby Shower
My possible C-section
My "baby" brother turns 16!!!

April

My actual due date
A Beautiful new Blessing will be here!
My parent's 30th Wedding Anniversary!

May

My Sister turns 27!!! :D
Off for Maternity Leave

June

I turn 30!!! WOW! :D 
Return to work

July

Hmmmm...nothing yet... HA.

August

My Hubby turns 32!!!
Our 5TH Wedding Anniversary!!!
My other "baby" brother turns 24!

September

My son turns 2!
My Mom's Bday!

October

My Dad's Bday!
Halloween with Baby Camila!

November

Thanksgiving with Baby Camila!

December

Christmas with Baby Camila!

I am sure there are other and many more fun events to add but for now..this is all I can recall!!!

Fun? Oh I think so..... {Ha.}

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

All in a days work:

So, I read GOOP. And, my recent newsletter came with a "day in the life of" 2 working moms. Just gave me the idea to Blog about my day...and see; where does the time go ?

Wakey-Wake~ "Usually" happens and SHOULD happen between 5:45am and 6:15am; anything after that cause serious chaos for both Ricardo and I. We both wake up bew-ry bew-ry quietly, because we don't want to wake the silly wabbit! I shower, Ricardo showers; or vice versa. We ask...my turn or yours, Ha. Usually I get in first. It's better this way. 

While in the shower I think and pray and often ask for strength and energy for that day...for the most part it all comes at once!

I then proceed to get dressed and "do my hair" and brush my teeth, almost in that order.

Ricardo does the same...but a lot slower....Ha.

I then go on to get Santi's clothes together and anything he may need at his Grandmothers that day.

Then depending on how much energy I, we,  had the night before I get our lunches together. Unless Ricardo did it the night before which is always a HUGE plus! 

After I get bags and lunches packed. I go on to dress Santi. These last couple of weeks have been cold so Ricardo will run out and turn our cars on...or I will. 

After much complaining, from Santi, I finally get him dressed and he either gets in my car or Ricardo's, depending on who's turn it is. These days he is bundled up and carried out..usually he walks to the car as we marvel and giggle at him looking like a Little Man! 

He then gets dropped off and we rush to our jobs. In Houston traffic from our house, rushing means at least 45 mins in traffic..if we are lucky 35 mins, if it's bad about an hour or more. 

Me I have to go and drop my car off at my Mom's outside of Downtown and then she brings me to work; it's cheaper this way. 

Workie-Work~ Really it's a blur. Some 8 hours are great and others..not so much. Most of you know what I mean. 

I get out of work at 4:30pm. Ricardo right gets out at 5:00pm; except when he is in school...because then his schedule is crazy. 

Going Home~ I have to be picked up, if I was early enough to get dropped off. If not I can usually park for about $6.00 a day a couple of blocks from my building. If I park I get out of Downtown fast and beat SOME traffic. If I don't I have to wait for my Mom and usually get to my car around 4:45 or 5:00pm. I get lazy when I get to my Mom's..so some days I linger..others I run! 

I then set out to either go straight home or to pick up my Little Man. Right now since Ricardo hadn't started school just yet, I loved hearing..."GO HOME. I will get La'lly" (It's what Ricardo calls the baby...like Daddy) ! That is music to a 28 week pregnant woman who dreams of laying in a soft warm bed with about 15 minutes of silence after a long day at work! 

If I go straight home I can usually make it there by 5:30 at the latest maybe 5:45. If I pick baby up it will surly be 6 pm or later...depending on much I linger at my Mother-in-Laws house. When Ricardo is at school I like to run home so I don't get home when it's dark. When he is not, I know he will be there so I linger more. Or if we know what we want for dinner and are gonna start cooking right when we get home, I rush. 

I finally make it home and depending on if Ricardo is in school or not the routine varies. These days I am 28 weeks pregnant and Ricardo was on Winter break from school. So, the "uhm I will do it tomorrow" sets in. When he is not around and at school. I run home. Clean up. Make food (defrost, microwave, prepare, cook, whatever the case maybe), again these days Ricardo was home and he will either say make this, I will make this, or lets just get some take out! Another sound of music in my ears....We "usually" all eat around 7 or 7:30pm no later than 8pm. If baby is awake he eats as well. If he is asleep we eat really fast before he wakes up so we can veg out for about 10 to 20 minutes. 

If Ricardo is in school and baby is asleep. I run around like a mad woman picking up around the house, cleaning, washing clothes and getting things straightened out for the next day! If Santi is awake, we play and when I get him distracted enough I run off and do chores until he finds me again..it's fun actually! Again, it was Winter break so Ricardo helped me with trash and dirty clothes and cooking and ohhhh yes DISHES...which I hate!!!! He also plays with Santi when I have the energy to just do all of the above mentioned.

All of this does or doesn't get done by 8:30-9:00pm after which Santi gets a bath and into his pj's and we pray that he falls asleep by 10pm so that we can also get in bed. He's not the best at a set bed time. It depends how much he slept during the day which is never a set time. If he slept a lot bed time is usually mid-night. If he didn't get much sleep then 10pm is pretty standard. We pray with him, talk to him while he falls asleep and then after he is done "telling us about his day" he is out until about 6:30-7am the next day when all this starts over again!  

In between all this I try to get other things in; like my "projects", my ME time, my Bible reading time or just reading time, husband/wife talk time, maybe some TV, and anything else that may need to get done...bills, mail sorting, etc etc.

We don't have a set schedule but I guess we have a pretty set routine!

Weekends are a bit better...only a bit...It depends on the weekend.

After I look it all over and think about it all, I wonder..how will I do with 2 children, how do I manage to stay afloat and when do I have time to potty and breath!?!

I guess we (busy working moms and wives) just do.

God, I know, gives me strength everyday!

Proverbs 31:31 Reward her for all she has done.
      Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

16 Months so Soon?!?!

This is another post regular that I have not done in a while.

{My Son's Monthly update Newsletter}


These days Santiago you are up to "no good".
No good I tell you! {Ha.}
With that beautiful heart melting smile and eyes that pierce my heart every day and every night.
You run, jump, laugh and play just like every other healthy strong little boy should!
You are my Little Man complete with charm and flirty skills!
You fall and bump your head, smash your fingers and bust your lip!
None of it stops you...none of it.
No worries..Momma is always close by to hug, kiss and make it all better! Daddy too. No matter how much he claims to want to make a you a tough little man he is often the first one to run to your rescue, accuse the first person in site and make sure you are ok!
These days you've become somewhat independent and some days you want nothing to do with me. It's makes me sad. Then there are days when it's all about me.
The latter is true more times than not.
Some days I forget you are not truly attached to me at the hip! I wish I could be with you every second of the day. It's not possible right now but when it is I will be the most Blessed Mommy ever.
You seemed to have grown over night.
And, there are days when I feel I have missed so much.
But, in the end God knows why.  
You know when and how to push all of our buttons and you are the most loving and beautiful little Angel. {All at once}
We can never be mad at you and when you are getting into trouble it's so hard not to laugh and get over it.
You test us in every way possible.
I am sure we have failed every time.
You still sleep with us but we don't mind it at all.
You still drink from your "ti-ti" or bottle and still wear a diaper, although I think they will both be gone soon, when your sister is born.
You are only 16 months and in 2 months you will be a "Big Brother", no pressure.
Your Dad is in his second to last semester at U.H. {God willing} (GO COOGS!) he is doing it for us. He wants us all to be so proud of all his work and accomplishments. He is trying his absolute best to provide for us everything that we NEED. God is with him. I am currently working full-time to help support our home so that your Dad can finish school. I too want you to be so proud of him and all the work that he does.
Your favorite movie, for some odd reason, is La Bamba.
You love to dance to any kind of music.
You laugh and play and you know very well right from wrong. You love "throwing fits" although you throw them all the time, I am sorry most are ignored. You do it to get attention. You don't like to share toys. Not good. We will be working on that as well.
You've been sick with cold, coughs and lots of boogers. You know how to "blow your nose" And when we change your diaper your favorite word is "caca".
You say:
Mas
Mama
Banana
Agua
Caca
Nene
Ball
Huevo
Leche
Bye
You can for people like:
Paco and Max (Both your uncles)
You know very well who Mommy and Daddy are.
You know who the baby is, we call her Ma-ma.
You understand both Spanish and English.
You've been to the Zoo and you simply love animals and being outdoors. I hope that doesn't change.
You love giving kisses.
You wave Good-Bye and nod your head as to say...what's up. :D
You know when it's time to go home and grab keys and any bag in site as you think you are walking out the door.
You love most ALL foods. And you drink lots of water..I hope that doesn't change.
You know how to Bless us and yourself [Te percinas cada mañana] and we pray on our ride to your Grandma's every morning and on our way home every night.
When your dad takes you, you kiss me good-bye and say..byyyyeee.
You love your Daddy and when he is your favorite person, it kills me a little inside
{in a good way}.
You've spent maybe 2 or 3 at the most entire nights away from us. We never leave you anywhere over night..I hope that doesn't change.
You love people.
You love going to your Grandmothers' homes.
You chase the dogs at both homes and slap your uncle's cat in the face.
We can't leave you alone for a second, a second, because you will dismantle, tare down or unhinge more than one room. You are a quick little on. Your little bare feet and short legs scram at the voice of " Santiago, what are you doing?!" You have fierce determination and accomplish most mischief you set out to do.
{We don't mind much, just proceed to clean up.}
Your face lights up as you run with fear when the door bell rings although it scares you, you LOVE company.
You hate it when Mommy and Daddy laugh, we do it so loud only because we love to be HAPPY!
You love your Aunts like Erica and Danielle and fight with your Tia Jess and Tia Ale.
You love your Uncles like Eric and Max and sometimes Mike. 
We got you a tent for Christmas and it's your favorite place when there is some one there to play with you. You've learned to zip it closed but are struggling to get it open. 
You the fridge has your milk and food. You know where we play the movies and you know that keys, shoes and a hoodie take you outside. 
You hate shoes and socks. You take them off as soon as we get home. 
As a matter of fact...you'd run around naked it we let you. 
You know that the bathroom is for bath time and you also  know that if you are running around naked more times than not, it's bath time.
You love playing in the water but hate the actual bath part.
When you are fussy and tired you love to be held and have your bottle.
You hate sheets and being tucked in...
You sit under the kitchen table when you can and play behind your high chair.
You know every corner of our house and scare us when you hide in the garage, though it's only seconds, my heart stops.
You love books but don't sit long enough to be read to properly.
Your dad thinks you can't sleep at night unless you've made a total mess during the day...
You gasp at anything new and scare with lots of different situations.
I am sure I have forgotten a lot of good and fun things that you do everyday... but we have pictures to show you....lots. So, if I've missed something here we will catch it there... 
Everyday is a new adventure. And, we are SO BLESSED to be on this journey with you. God has given us the most beautiful Blessings and we can't wait for your sister to be here....   

{YOU CAN READ OTHER NEWS LETTERS UNDER: THE THINGS I SAY: CHUNK}

Monday, January 17, 2011

♥ Mommy Wish List ♥

****Please keep in mind these are all very random thoughts that come into my mind as I walk in my everyday life... most will NEVER come true and some if they do...I will forget to update on them.... Ha. I know. It's a lot of work being a Mom, Wife, and Full-Time Employee to the Government. I forget things!

  • I wish my hair was growing out faster.
  • I wish I hadn't just chopped my bangs off at Christmas thinking, it's just hair, it will grow back...soon enough...I hope....HA.
  • I wish I could work only PART-TIME.
  • I wish I was a Stay-at-Home Mom...You may have heard this already....
  • I wish I had more time to nap before my son wakes from his naps!
  • I wish I was a little bit taller..no joke! Ha.
  • I wish it was April already {Camila will be here and I will be on Maternity leave}
  • I wish I had more energy in the morning to look a bit spunkier at work...yes spunkier!
  • I wish I had more energy {period}.
  • I wish I had a live in maid...
  • I wish I wish I wish I wish.....

One day....

One day.....

Don't we all have the right to dream? {Ha.}

Friday, January 14, 2011

A Friday Re-cap:

It's funny how some weeks, silence {from above} seems to reign. The last couple of weeks, not noise...but clarity speaking.

Trying to re-build, re-organize and move on in this new year...I love it really.

This week I received my usual daily blog post from one of my favorite Faith Bloggers.

She spoke about "parking her mind" in a "beautiful place".

I thought.


I too want to park my mind in a beautiful place, I think it's the best way to think of it. All day our minds run wild but to just be still and "park" it in one place. That ONE place that matters; God, Jesus, our Lord.

I love that thought.

The verse that she used to help her park her mind was:


“And now I will show you the most excellent way.  If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal,” (1 Corinthians 13:1).
She also mentioned that she "lives free from regret and with clarity of heart, mind and soul."

I too want to live free from regrets and have this type of clarity {and PEACE} that she speaks of. But, I have realized that if my days go unfocused and do not focus on HIM, then I loose all clarity and peace and fall back into the trap of noisiness.
I don't like that very much.

So, I will attempt to remain:

FOCUSED
IN CLARITY
PARKED
AT PEACE

And simply trusting Him!

My Favorite verse this week was:
“Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track. Don't assume that you know it all.”
Proverbs 3:5-6
"Wow, perfect."