Tuesday, May 31, 2011

To find my "NITCH"....or Not?

As you all may remember I was on maternity leave not too long ago....a week ago to be exact...

During those 8 weeks, I was able to have a dream come true, although short-lived, it was much needed and definitely appreciated and taken advantage of!

I was indeed a STAY-AT-HOME MOMMA (or SAHM)! And, was totally rocking at it, if I may say so myself! (Toot-toot, Ha. Ha.)

Then....as I mentioned before...

Life tends to happen and my little hot pink fluffy magic rug was pulled from under my big hope-filled feet (yes, my feet have hopes too! ha.) ...and I totally missed the pillow (meaning my feelings hit the pavement)...Eeeeek.

During those 8 weeks, I developed and almost fully mastered....being a Crafty Momma...and you know what? I loved it.

I was creating, and following through with my endless possibilities. I loved it.

But, I know there are plans that I can make..but they are not for me to control. {Trust me, this is NOT  a complaint post....trust me.}

Well during my first week back at work, I remembered that place I had been in not too long ago.

A place where I dreamed of being a corporate Momma with an outside the home job and pant suits [ YES, PANT SUITS! If I had that kind of fun, lunch meeting, corporate type job and the money to buy me some cute pant suits! {Ha.}] None the less, I was there. That place where I didn't mind being that 9 to 5 Mom that works and runs home to be a Mom and Wife to a busy afternoon family.

Then, those 8 weeks came, and for a short time, everything was perfect. I was THAT Momma in that OTHER place, that hides deep in the back of my silly little heart....the Full-Time, Stay-at-Home-Momma, with the fun and lovable and most adorable children, who cleans, cooks, reads, watches "The Talk" at 1pm and Oprah at 4pm [before she decided to leave TV!].


Who shines at being a MOM! 

Who LOVES being a WIFE.

That Mom that after 8 weeks of chaos thinks, yes...let me take on just a bit more....I don't have an outside the home job..I think I can handle it. 

But, then.... THIS place comes back. The place where responsibility reigns, and food needs to be put on the table, where I want to take my kids to the zoo, museum, and circus without having to really deal with a budget. This place where I have to wake up, get dressed, pull my kids out of bed and get them ready for another set of arms to hold, to love and to care for.

It's hard. I yearn. I hurt. I envy. I cry. I think...no one knows my pain.... 

And, after the pain subdues..I search...for THAT place again. 

That's where I am...


{My heart hurts at the thought of my children not being around me all day.... ::deep sigh::}

But, I know.

That THIS place...has a purpose...a reason... a season...a time...

{30 in 30} ♥


In 30 days..I will be 30!

A lot of things are going on right now....as it tends to happen in life...well...life is happening....

Not sure what the next 30 days will bring...but as an added challenge for myself...I want to Blog at least once a day about "30-something" lists.

So...here is the first one.... an easy one... I hope...

[30 Places I have been in the last 30 Years]

  1. Houston, Texas {Where my heart is, LOVE}
  2. Reynosa, Tamaulipas {FAMILY}
  3. Mission, Texas {Hometown}
  4. San Juan, Texas {FAITH}
  5. New Orleans, Louisiana {Fun times}
  6. Destin, Florida {Vacation}
  7. Pascagoula, Mississippi {Ricardo's Summer 2010 Internship}
  8. Lake Charles, Louisiana {Where my Dad lives}
  9. Cuernava, Morelos {Family}
  10. Detroit, Michigan {Family/Lived here}
  11. Chicago, Illinois
  12. San Miguel de Allende , Guanajuato {IF WE COULD..WE WOULD MOVE HERE}
  13. Saltillo, Coahuila
  14. San Juan, Puerto Rico {Honeymoon}
  15. Dallas/Fort Worth, Texas {Family/Lived here}
  16. SLP
  17. Michoacan {La Monarca}
  18. Austin, Texas {Camping!}
  19. San Antonio, Texas {If you live in Texas..it's a must!}
  20. Concan, Texas {Camping!}
  21. Monterrey, Nuevo Leon
  22. Galveston, Texas
  23. Veracruz {Too long ago to remember...lol}
  24. Mexico City, Mexico
  25. Mazapil, Zacatecas {Parroquia de San Gregorio Magno}
  26. Hidalgo, Tamaulipas {La Virgen del Chorrito}
  27. San Marcos, Texas
  28. Tlaquiltenango, Morelos {Las Huertas Balneario}
Most if not all of these places I visited with my Husband.

Most with my parents and a few with my son...

I can't wait to see where else our little family of 4 travels in years to come...

{By the way...this was not as easy as I thought it would be!}

Thursday, May 26, 2011

What day is today?!

I was thinking I would work on several things {projects} this weekend.....

But, it's my first week back at work after 7 & a half  weeks away AND exhaustion is an understatement!

Our sleep and wake schedules are totally skewed, I feel like I am walking in and out of a revolving door and I feel out of place and just plain out...OUT OF IT! {Ha.}

I know, this is doable..I know I can get through this week..the real question is..When will I ever sleep again?!

My 8 week old and my 20 month old tag team each other, when one wakes the other one sleeps, when one cries the other other YELLS, when one poops the other one spits up; I think they enjoying seeing my head spin off my shoulders and my flushed face fill with panic! {HA.} They've seem to got the whole "let's deprive our mom of sleep and show her how much can come out of every orifice of our bodies" routine down... more than well!

{Trust me. I am BEYOND Blessed to have two VERY healthy, active and vivacious children....but when you get to where I am....exhaustion over powers and you just have to say it! }

So, I am not sure just yet...but I think my weekend is looking more like a big soft bed, with fluffy pillows and lots of wide open mouth straight up snoring! {Ha.} My vision of this weekend is more like a Comfort Inn than lets go out and be active weekend! 

Have I mentioned how tired I am? {Ha. ha. ha.}

And I can't remember when my last real warm sit down meal was....

This week so far is a blur.... 

{I am totally about laughing at my situation, but right now my laugh is accompanied by tears...just a bit...you know that kind of laugh/cry thing when you don't know really how you feel...sad, tired, happy.... CRAZY AND DETATCHED!{Ha. ha. ha.}

Honestly...I hope you see this post as humurous..

I love my kids....I ADORE being a Momma....I LOVE being a Wife...I love being a part of my families income and having an outside the home job {for now}...but every once in a while..I like to make light of my siutation and am a bit sarcastic...I hope everyone gets that.... Ha.

It's part of who I am....

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

HubChub ♥ God Sent....

In the same day I received TWO devotionals dedicate to Husbands, I spoke to a friend about what she is seeking in a spouse, and I decided to write about my Hubby! {Ha.}

I don't think I've done it in a while... or maybe I have, who knows....

All I know is that my Husband is the best, most amazing man, that has ever been in my life... and who is PERFECT...for ME. Others who know him know that at times his sense of humor is very sarcastic {it runs in his family}, but those who know him, get him..he is who is he {and I am not making excuses..he is the nicest person ever}...not perfect BUT, who is!? I'm NOT. I am though... BLESSED. To have him in my life; 12 years and counting....

In talking to my friend about relationships and what she wants in her spouse, I thought about Ricardo...

Who is he?

He is a man that came into my life like a true angel always providing me with support and Love. No matter what was going on in my life 12 years ago...which was pretty bad.... at the time...he was there...learning and living... just as I was.

We pretty much "grew up" together. He was 20 and I was 18 when we met. I joke and tell the story of how there wasn't an "instant" connection yet deep down inside, I knew I had found the man I would marry.

I really met him 15 years ago; I was 15 he was 17. He was my older cousin's best friend. I was not allowed to talk to boys and my parents were very strict... plus, I lived in South Texas and he lived in Houston. Years went by, I graduated High School and came to Houston to attend the University of Houston.

In my first Summer here; I decided that I was going to focus on school, become a strong independent woman and become a doctor. I swore off fun and boys! It wasn't who I was taught to be. My parents were very strict and I came from a family of "strict" Catholics. And then...I met Ricardo. {Ha.} He was a free spirited yet law abiding, fun-loving, friendly guy. He was {is} smart, focused, and committed. He was {is} loyal, loving, dedicated, and organized. He was {is} stable and responsible. He was {is} strong, affectionate, and gentle. He wasn't sure where he was going but he {instantly} knew {even though he jokes this isn't so} he wanted me to be there with him for the ride.

{Our first date was a "blind date" it wasn't until later that we realized that we had alredy met and on our first date... his dad's car was massivley broken into and my purse was stolen...I wanted to go back to my comfy and SAFE town of Mission in South Texas...but God had other plans...}

I quickly showed him that my life was about working, education and more importantly about Jesus {Faith and Beliefs}. He accepted and joined me. Not knowing his true potential and being very humble he soon realized that our lives and path were not very different after all; he too had goals he wanted to meet and a purpose he knew he wanted to have....

He wanted to own a new car, buy a  house, go out, travel and make friends, he wanted to earn an education and gain a career he wanted to be young and live his life but more importantly he wanted to get married before God and have a family...

He wasn't big on going to church but he followed me there every Sunday... he didn't know the rosary or all his prayers... but we learned together.... he didn't have his First Communion or Confirmation but I helped him get them...he didn't care for a big fancy wedding or lots of gifts....but we set a date and booked the church....

On August 19, 2006 {after 7 YEARS of dating..truly dating...we moved in together about 8 months before the wedding only because he was super responsible about getting us a home before thinking about a big wedding} we met at the altar before God and our family and friends, we put aside 7 years of selfish "singlehood" to unite and become one! We left our parents {no matter WHAT and as selfish as THAT may sound} to form our own family. To prove our LOVE to NO ONE aside from God. To committ to one another in loyaltity and Faith.  To walk beside eachother with Him in Faith. To build eachother up in Christ. Pray over one another with Love. And to cover ourselves with prayer of protection and well being.

And this year after 5 years of marriage..we have not ONE but DOS reasons to Praise Him and Thank Him. For giving us the gift of Love; Love which HE planted and inspired, and we have watered and seen grow.

When I think about my Husband....every time I think about my husband....I think about what you just read...and then some.... I love him, I am Thankful for him and I appreciate him.

{Our lives {and we} are not perfect but our love is and that..is all that matters....}

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Reflections and in days to come....

I think back to when I started my Blogging journey. {2008, Wordpress, during Presidential Election, while starting a new job}

My life was "simple". 

I wrote with "passion", for lack of a better word. 

I was sarcastic and funny, honest and real...so I was told

I had a great teacher.{Heather Armstrong}

I wrote about life in general and everyday happenings...with a passion.
Then I wrote about my Faith and my journey and purpose through life....with a passion. 

Soon after Motherhood entered my life and I took that on and wrote about my son and being a first time Momma...with  a passion. 

And now.... all of the sudden

I'm lost. 

Lost, confused. 

Awe stricken and in shock! 

Dramatic a bit?

I mean. Surely, I have plenty of topics to discuss, many "great" thoughts to jot down, "creative" ideas and "fascinating" stories to share. 

Surely! {Ha.}

I mean. 

I just spent 8 weeks at home..."finding myself", recouping and adjusting to life as a Momma of Dos. Voy a creer que no tengo nada de que habldar? No puede ser. {Whoa. What just happened?}

Se me salio lo Mexicana. No entiendo. {Ha.}

I am searching for "me". 

As cliche and played out as that may sound....but I am. I think we have many great opportunities to seek, ourselves, to dig deep inside and figure out who we are...as many times as needed, to recreate who we are and what we want to become, many great opportunities to change and connect.  

I know who I am, I know what and who I love....I just need to start creating it, writing it, Blogging about it all, and making sense of it. 

Life goes on. 

Life is life. 

I am a "normal", "average" and an everyday Momma, Wife and Employee. I know though that God has created me to be EXTRAORDINARY and Purpose filled...and that is what I am after. Now as a Momma of Dos...I feel more encouraged, motivated and inclined to seek that Super Mom within me and allow her to grow and shine!

I know I can connect with some or most or a lot of Mom's out there.... even to single Mom's at times {with my Hubby being a student and employed full-time/part-time}.  And, that is what I am after. I was to inspire and aspire! We are more than just Mommas, Wives, Students and Employees.... we are Great Women created in an Image of God. With Faith, Love, Hope and Strength.

In the days to come; I will go back to work, create a new routine, find better ways to be more organized, find new strength to get it ALL done, renew my Faith, seek Him, and work on Me.

On my Momma con Fe Blog I wrote about seasons...and this is a new one for me... a good one, I hope. 

Welcome to my world as a Momma of Dos..the journey will get a little bumpy {with ups and downs, good and bad times, obstacles and difficulties} so fasten your seat belt..and know that it should be an enjoyable loving and faith-filled journey none the less....and that even though I may fail..because I am human....I will never loose hope... hope in God, myself, my family, or my friends...

Life goes on...and in the end...IT'S NOT THAT SERIOUS PEOPLE! 


Wednesday, May 18, 2011

{On a Lighter Note}

My Sister and I were discussing our Autobiographies {Yes. You read correctly..we think about these things. Ha. Ha. } ... and I decided that mine would be a Comedy! 

Life is too short to take yourself, or anything for that matter, so serious. 

So, then I spoke to my husband about it {true story. Ha.} and we decided that once it's made into a full length movie the cast would be as follows:

I would be played by Eva Mendes {The Hubby's choice...can you tell...can you blame him!? Ha.}

He would be played by George Lopez {My Husband is a true riot!}

Santiago would be played by Rico Rodriguez {because we think Santiago will be as equally goofy as his Dad}

And My Cami would be played by the ever so cute Selena Gomez {plus her last name is Gomez!}

I present to you...the cast of our Autobiographical Movie! 

We are still working on the title..... 

What about you?! 
Who would play you in your Autobiography?

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Momma of Dos.

My life has not been the same the last 29 months. 

I've had DOS {2} children. 
Been pregnant for 16 of the 29 months.
I have a 20 month old and a 7 week old. 

Emotions sometimes run high and other times run low.

My FAITH has grown.

Patience has been built, as I imagine it is only the beginning. Because in case you haven't done the math I will have a 13 and 14 year old on my hands, although I hear the tween-age years are not much easier.

We will also have a 19 year old and an 18 year old, meaning...they will hopefully, be attending college one after the other....

Scary. Sure. Worried. Not really. I know God has brought us this far and if my children { I pray that with our example of being college graduates that they will follow BUT I hear THAT is not always the case} decide to go to school, then at the time God will have allowed us to prepare and build up some nice college funds.
The last 29 months have been a culmination to the last 12 years and ONLY the beginning to the next 12 years and MORE.

In the last 12 years I have graduated college, bought a home, got married, and had children..my husband will have finished school and life will ONLY now begin. {Contrary to what I thought 12 years ago at 18 when I graduated High School....I thought that at 18 my life had only just begun....HA! HUGE HA!!! It was the same at 25...maybe in 5 years I will be saying that at 35 my life has just begun....} Why? Well we have reached some of  our most important goals and accomplishments {FAITH, FAMILY, EDUCATION, AND STABILITY; all I think are constantly being built and maintained} and we also now have 2 lives to guide, to Love, to help fill with goals and accomplishments of their own, to be responsible for, to care for and protect.
I feel like this is God's way of telling us...remember that this life has never been about YOU. That was your selfish stage...you are now in the REAL and TRUE stage of your life... NEW LIFE through your children. 

Last night we went out for a friends birthday. We were the only young couple of the 4 couples there that has children. They were surprised at the age difference. 18 months. There were questions about how "planned" it all was...it wasn't. I don't worry about it. There were thoughts of a THIRD child...yes...already...but I pray not now. Can I handle the DOS children that I have. Yes. Pretty well actually. Better than I thought I could. And, I heard it gets easier with time. I am sure it does. Can I handle Numero Tres, hmmm. Definitely not right now.

Questions of who watches my children came up. Can we afford daycare? Who can? It's ridiculous. But, when you think about it...they are watching your children. And you do get what you pay for. So, I don't think it matters as long as my children are well taken care of and safe. 

In all how does it feel to be a Momma of Dos and where will I go from here?

My children are the biggest Blessing in our lives {my Hubby and I}. My biggest accomplishment. The one goal that I have reached that I will EVER care about! And it's amazing to be Loved, Kissed and Held {not only by God} but by my Dos little angels! They are my everything. NOTHING ELSE MATTERS!!!!!!


Saturday, May 7, 2011

The Normal Things.

I grew up in a "normal" family. 

Until I "grew up" and realized my family wasn't "normal" at all. 

Someone was always living with us; whether it was a Grandmother, an Aunt, an Uncle, a Cousin, or that family friend you called an Uncle or a Cousin or an Aunt...or a Grandmother. Thinking back on it. My family was far from normal, as most Hispanic families, in our culture we don't believe in putting people out. We'd rather cram into a 2 bedroom apartment as long as the "family" sticks together. Not to mention, my parents have never owned a home and to this day, they rent.

As for schedules, forget about it. My mom worked, cleaning houses, still does, crazy amount of hours. My dad, was, is a contractor, has worked crazy schedules all his life. My siblings and I used to walk home from school almost everyday. Something that these days, terrifies me to think that my children would at 10,7, and 5 {that's how old my sister and brother were when we walked home from school} walk home alone.  This world is so dangerous, I know that now. My parents were young, naive, too busy, new to the USA, call it what you want..these days...my husband and I think back at how our parents raised us. It was far from normal and at times dangerous. 

We survived with somewhat minimal trauma and mildly bad memories. I guess. 

My parents have never been perfect and neither has their relationship. I grew up, beside my parents; as they too lived, learned and made mistakes. 

So, when I was younger I decided that I would do what was "normal". I run towards normalizes.

I graduated High School, went to college and graduated, married my college sweet-heart, we bought a small home in the suburbs, 3 years after being married we had our fist child and now at almost 5 years of marriage we have 2 beautiful children. Normal? Right? 

I mean. Our schedules are awful, I am not a stay at home mom and my husband is still in college and is an intern but our life is seemingly average and normal. I like that. I seek it. 

I want my children to grow up, in that true American dream household; I mean that's why my parents came here in the 80's. 

I say it everyday we are NOT perfect but we Love one another and I know that "normal" or not, our little family of 4 has survived, we have made it so far and I pray that we make it a great distance more!

{This topic came up as a result of an article in Parenting Magazine which discussed how families these days are not the "average American" household; where the family of 4 has a father who works and mom who stays home. But, that's what I am after... to be average and normal, it's the new different! }

{My Little Family of Four}