Many of us work; inside the home, outside the home, BOTH.
As an outside the home working Momma, I have encountered many stories shared by women in the same place, many accomplishments, many moments of encouragement and Faith, but also challenges and times of true discouragement.
I think it's the enemy trying to deviate my focus.
I am usually a happy go lucky type of person, with many goals in mind but always with my family as a priority; my Husband and my children a like.
I know that where I am now, like many others is only temporary.
I like working and I love my job, my only problem these days is time.
My children are little so I like to think that it's not an issue and that it doesn't affect them as much as if they were older and aware that Momma left when it was dark and came home when it was bed time. It affects me. That's for sure. My Hubby being a Full-time student, I think is used to it. He calls me after class to see if the kids are asleep and rushes home. I on the other hand am not used to it. It's difficult. Small sacrifices now big rewards later?
I don't want to loose focus. I love my job. I love providing for my family. How do I deal though with these moments of Momma blues that just seem to drag me down.... Ahiii.
I pray that in the future my organization and some clarity of mind can help me deal... it's just so difficult tonight...for me to comprehend or grasp the idea that my kids can grow up without a Momma.... it wasn't what I signed up for when I decided to have children but it's how it's worked out.
I sit in the dark. Pray and hope that one day my nights become days and days last forever....
A late night thinkin' Momma.