Tuesday, August 7, 2012

On "the Third" {Numero Tres}

Lately it seems like babies are amongst us... a lot. Or at least on the brain or on FB somewhere....everywhere. Ha.

And yes, when my Hubby and I got married we said we would have 3 kids, because it would be a good well rounded number...right.

Then, I had ONE and thought... one is ok but DOS would be peachy and then I had my numero dos and now all I know is that if I EVER {ever} want to go to the restroom alone without having two kids {or more} camp out in front of me {yes, camp out, yesterday Cami pulled her fold out chair in there with her sippy and snacks, she said; "MA'!, caca?".... no words I tell you...no words!} or maybe if one day I decide that sleeping with two {or more kids} swirling around in my bed  and asking for milk at 1am, 3am and 4 am cause they can't sleep while I am tying to get a good nights rest for my 4am wake up call and 12 plus hour shift at work the next day is a good idea then maybe a tres is totally in order.

My Hubby is telling me that we will be ok but I am tired, drained and in a constant state of "uhm". I don't remember what's what or know my foot from my hand most days. Physically, I know I can push my body through another gruelling 9 months and then be sliced and diced without any issues....but honestly. Mentally and emotionally. I am not sure I am fully equipped at this moment. IF, if , IF it were to happen some time by the end of the year that means that I would be 32 before I have the baby and that means that at 32 I would be juggling a 12 hour a day {plus} job {during election cycle}, a house with a Hubby who may or may not be traveling for his new job on and off, the Tres {a 3 year old, a 2 year old and a baby; doable? Sure.} but what about the crafting and blogging, oh yes then there are showers and maybe if I am lucky some eating... and oh did we forget extra curriculars; cause we want Santi in soccer and Cami in dancing by this fall. Did I mention the pet rock? Yes, we have managed to kill 2 fish in the las 3 months therefore we have decided  a pet rock is a bit more sustainable. And, has anyone been calculating the amount of money this will all cost us; I am not but my Hubby I know is, considering HE is the one asking for a third baby!

Aside from just physically having them, emotion and mental stability,  and financial stability have we thought about time and attention to be divided even more and sacrificed a hundred times over.... I have. I don't know. It just doesn't seem fair to the kids or myself, to wear myself so thin that I am already worried about not having time for a third baby.

I say we are good. My Hubby says... we not good enough.

I will definitely be praying about this one. A lot.

I do have a pending discussion with my OBGYN to see if she would even have me as her patient considering all of the reproductive issues I have had. Just so much at once and during an election cycle to even begin to think about it or wrap my brain around it....

God will know.

Only Him.

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