Saturday, September 8, 2012

{Mid-Life Crisis} or Not...

I know who I am...

Cheesy beyond repair
Faithful without doubt
A little over confident
Dramatic; Fo'sho'
Talkie and Loved
Impatient
A Momma of Dos and Wife to One
Blessed
Loud and outspoken
Truthful and Bold
An Overthinker {this is getting better with age...}
A true friend
Gosspiy {workin' on it..LOTS!}
Loved
Forgiven
A hopeless romantic
An optimist with a dark side
Emo' at times
 Happy
A fatty girl who loves food {did I say LOVES food...cause I do}
a Dreamer of BIG HUGE dreams!
Someone with a Past {at times very sad}
A survivor at best
a Sharer
A storyteller
a  writer
a creator of crafts
A dancer at heart
giver
caregiver
provider
supporter
A Daughter
A Sister
a mover and shaker....
I make it happen...
no matter how hard it is to stand...I do
I am a defender of those people, places and situations that I think need me
I face reality and stand up for what I believe in.
I voice it all and leave nothing at rest
I am a pusher
I am a critic
I know I can be a nag
 A Believer
Jesus Follwer
Bible Reader

Trust me. 
I know who I am.


I am not sure what all my brain, heart and soul have been going through lately  but I do know that God has been hard at work...for months now... the clouds are clearing though and everything that was murky and dark are now looking bright and clear!
At least I think so....

How can it be that at 31 I still feel...lost? Am I am not where I want to be? Does life have more for me? Maybe I should stop while I am ahead....

But, seriously. If I feel this way at 31, I definitely don't want to feel lost at 41.
I would want to have my life in place by the time I am 40 and my kids are older...
I don't mean perfect.
I just mean, well adjusted and settled....stable and established.
Happy and fulfilled.

I know.
Trust me, I know how Blessed I am.
I have TWO amazing children.
I have an awesome Husband. I have a great family and a good job.
What else do you want Connie?
You can't have the world...I know this.
I don't want to loose myself because I am constantly seeking better....
I simply want life to be LIFE but better... Ha.

No pues no quieres nada!

Yo se que....el que quiere azul celeste que le cueste...
but how much is it ?
Cause I am more than sure that I have paid it in full and then some!
Ha.

Or maybe not but it sure does feel like it....



2 comments:

Marcela said...

Some days exactly as you have written....

Connie said...

Marcela! It's a complicated life to be a workin'Momma....I admire you for being a FT Momma, Employee and Blogger! I don't know how you do it all..I bet your Hubby is happy and your home is clean... some women just have it all together.. we manage and move forward..NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES. I pray that you are well... Huge Hug!!!