Tuesday, October 13, 2015

::Love is...:: #DomesticViolenceAwareness

You don't know the women you will come across in this lifetime. How they will impact you or make a difference in your life. Which is why I try to meet as many beautifully empowered women as possible. Everyday. It's become part of my mission. Today, I am sharing with you the story of strength, that I know all too well. I am honored to have met Lulu, online and hope to meet her in person soon!

Below some helpful links to help us better understand the impact of Domestic Violence: 
Domestic Violence Awareness month historyhttp://www.nrcdv.org/dvam/DVAM-history
Houston Area Women's Centerhttp://www.hawc.org/

Article by Lulu-

When I grow up I'm going to be a model/dancer/designer. I'm going to travel the world. I'm going to fall in love and live happily ever after. 

Every young girl's dream.

My name is Lulu. I was 25 and fell in love. Started to live the dream. I wanted my career I wanted children I wanted to take care of my man. LOVE did not go as planned. With all that came responsibilities, struggles and change. I am Latina and we strive to do it all. I became a housewife and I would have it no other way but I lost my Identity. The relationship headed for failure as I became the victim of abuse, first emotional then physical. I don't think he ever thought he was doing harm. I did not want to be a failure and did not want for my children feel like a dysfunctional family. I became numb until one day, 18 years later,  I could no longer stay quiet. I fought back..I wanted to find LULU again. 

The spirit I had growing up. 

I wanted to show my kids that I was strong. I wanted to show them what LOVE is. The photo below is of the only scar I am proud of from my abuse. I got this tattoo to help me stand taller everyday. It is the words I live by. It is in Spanish.

"love is patient, love is kind, is not jealous, not boastful,is not easily angered."

I once thought that God had abandoned me but in fact he was carrying me the whole time.

Never be bullied into silence, define yourself!

You must NOT stay silent. You must seek help and you must take action. It takes planning. But, if you are in real danger, you must find the strength and courage to move forward. Most important that you call the authorities. That is the hardest thing to do ..I KNOW. Do not let fear guide you, believe me calling the law is your proof and for your safety. Remember you are NOT alone.  I suggest you find an outlet where you can discuss this like; your church, or your county has centers for counseling for families and most important....true friends. I have had everything and nothing and believe me there will be a day you wake up and are proud of yourself. And, forgive yourself for not seeing your own worth sooner. The best thing I learned is you have to accept that it will feel like you are taking one step forward then two back but these are not failures these are God's way of guiding you.

Starting over. Wow. 

{Makeup & Photograph: Deirra Smith Collard; Owner of LeCharme Magazine.}

Then the question is why me...again single. Issues with trusting anyone and fear of falling into the same type of relationship. The divorce felt like death and liberation at the same time. I went to therapy for awhile and realized I had been holding back so many emotions. It felt good to be able to let them out. Then I realized I needed to love myself again. I could not be in a relationship if I still haven't work on me. I found my true passion again. Dance. I went to a Zumba class. I made so many new friends and started to grow again. My self esteem, confidence, and I was looking good. I became an instructor then became an instructor at my friend  Crystal Wall'S studio . Mixfitz Studio. This is when I found my voice. I want to inspire you to smile everyday and compliment yourself. Step on the box..stand tall and set new limits for yourself. Because in doing this, you will be the WOMAN you aspired to be once upon a time. 

Love will come again when it is God sent..not when you are lonely or alone. You need to peek over the walls you have built out of fear and breath the opportunities out there for you and yours.
I want to help others as so many did for me and they continue to do so, because life is hard. Remove the negative. Face it, nothing is given to you unless you GO FOR IT. Regain your voice, be a survivor, remember to be victorious and not be a victim.

Love is... The fairytale.... You meet someone. You feel butterflies. You feel complete. You plan the future. You live happily ever after. Don't ever stop being a hopeless romantic!

If you need to talk or help finding resources email me at beyoufuego@gmail.com

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