Friday, June 10, 2016

Turning 35 ::Oh Hello June:: #BirthdayMonth #Thisis35

::Solo Girl Chronicles is a series created by #Femmeboss, a mobile app and membership app for women only who are seeking like-minded and compassionate friends to connect with or meet locally. This blog post is part of the series. You can learn more on their website and find new friends.::

Age is nothing but a number. I know now how true these words are. I will be 35 in 19 days. And, I feel amazing. No joke. I stay busy, that's my secret. Some days are hard only because I take too much on. At 35 I have two children, a Hubby, a full-time job outside the home, a college degree which has allowed me to gain a career and a full life. I help run a group of local latina bloggers, called Houston Latina Bloggers and then I run this little ol'blog. 8 years and counting. I also do boot camp twice a week with am amazing group of ladies who have inspired me so much in my weight loss journey. And, currently, I am attending a class for local Latina's in Leadership, every other Wednesday. With the Summer in full effective we have gotten somewhat of a travel bug, nothing big just small road trips to explore new places in Texas and the U.S. for ourselves and mostly for our kids!

How do I do it all and how does 35 feel? Well, it feels like a whirlwind of emotions and really I sleep a lot (but not really) and my house is a mess. That's truly how I get things done. Half asleep and in a daze, not good, I know. But, I do what I can, I work hard and passionately and move forward. It's not how life has always been for me. I used to have a real life with friends and family that I helped and bent over backward for, over the years, that's diminishing. I now do things I love, things that benefit me and those things that will further create who I am and where I want to go. I feel that at 35, I can say these type of selfish things because for years I have not been selfish. 

As I thought about what to write in this reflective post weeks before my 35th, I heard the song "Wake me Up" by Avicii. As I am a lover of words, I take the lyrics in and think about how turning 35 will change me, and how I have changed over the last 35 years. Evolved if you will. It's pretty dang amazing. I love learning and living my life to the fullest. Doing as much as possible because tomorrow is not guaranteed. 

So wake me up when it's all over
When I'm wiser and I'm older
All this time I was finding myself
And I didn't know I was lost

I have been through so much in my life that sometimes it does feel like a dream. I am older and wiser now and in the process, though at times I didn't know, I was lost. I have found myself. The last 35 years have not been perfect. I have had lots of sorrow, sadness, depression and made tons of mistakes, hurt so many people and been rude and offensive. I apologize to those who have suffered because of me. In return, many have hurt, used and offended me. I forgive them. None of this is necessary. But, I do it anyway, because of who I am, an apologetic person. My good friend Ari always tells me to stop apologizing and it's hard to change after 35 years. I have discovered that some will love me for that and others will straight up hate. And, that's okay. 

At 35 I no longer care for others opinions and need to refrain from giving mine out. And, refrain from wasting words on those who don't care for them. It's part of my 35-year-old resolution. Stop giving advice when not asked. Most people will do what they want anyway, and that's okay. It's their life, not mine. It's something hard for me to comprehend sometimes, I always feel I should help or change the world. It's not really my job. I have children who need me and that's where the change and help will begin and end.

I tried carrying the weight of the world
But I only have two hands
I hope I get the chance to travel the world
And I don't have any plans

So, I am turning 35. How does it feel? Pretty good. To know that I have survived on this earth this long, with minimal trauma and so much more to look forward to! At times, I do wish life would stop for a moment in time, but I have learned to live in the moment, to appreciate the time and to slow myself down to enjoy it all. 

I wish that I could stay forever this young
Not afraid to close my eyes
Life's a game made for everyone
And love is a prize

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