Momma of Dos: October 2011

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Working Momma 101

Many of us work; inside the home, outside the home, BOTH.

As an outside the home working Momma, I have encountered many stories shared by women in the same place, many accomplishments, many moments of encouragement and Faith, but also challenges and times of true discouragement.

I think it's the enemy trying to deviate my focus.

I am usually a happy go lucky type of person, with many goals in mind but always with my family as a priority; my Husband and my children a like.

I know that where I am now, like many others is only temporary.

I like working and I love my job, my only problem these days is time.

My children are little so I like to think that it's not an issue and that it doesn't affect them as much as if they were older and aware that Momma left when it was dark and came home when it was bed time. It affects me. That's for sure. My Hubby being a Full-time student, I think is used to it. He calls me after class to see if the kids are asleep and rushes home. I on the other hand am not used to it. It's difficult. Small sacrifices now big rewards later?

I don't want to loose focus. I love my job. I love providing for my family. How do I deal though with these moments of Momma blues that just seem to drag me down.... Ahiii.

I pray that in the future my organization and some clarity of mind can help me deal... it's just so difficult tonight...for me to comprehend or grasp the idea that my kids can grow up without a Momma.... it wasn't what I signed up for when I decided to have children but it's how it's worked out.

I sit in the dark. Pray and hope that one day my nights become days and days last forever....

A late night thinkin' Momma.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

{Seasons and Reasons}

We are not here to understand the why…

We are not capable….

God is.

He is able.

He is capable.

God knows the reasons to our seasons.

We are here.

Still.

To remain.

To withstand.

To allow.

To fulfill the purpose that God’s will has given our lives…

Today God, I ask you to take over my life and make it yours.

Your will Dear God is where I want to be.

You're reason is my season.

That’s all I want… all the rest of my life.

That’s all.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

{Just Life...Just Sayin'}

There comes a turning point when things change...your eyes open and LIFE happens. 
It's be days...weeks..months even...my LIFE has happened and my thoughts, inspirations and feelings linger in the nothing of the real world....

I haven't had time to express, create and innovate the way I would have like to...or want to. 

Sometimes peoples thoughts of me drag me down..am I really who they say I am? 
{Clearly God knows my heart and holds my soul...they are seeking, conflicting and in turmoil of their own..it's why they think that I am, who they think I am..clearly...GOD knows who I am..and guess what, so do I!} 

So, I stand up after my millionth fall and fill myself with GRACE even after another slip of the tongue in that moment of fear and anger.  That moment when I feel like acceptance is needed but fail.
While they claim to build and instead.... destroy... it's ok. 
I rebuild, renew and SPEAK UP IN GOD'S NAME
I am stronger today... 
I am happy. 
I am positive and 
I know that God knows me.

Life hasn't always handed me the best....but God has always made things better...and here I am..another lesson learned about truth and sincere friendship... and I move on. 
Yes. 
This expression of raw, unglued emotions is necessary. 
I need to SPEAK. 
Even if I am NOT heard...
so that I can deal, handle and throw away what I don't like about me. 
What I want to change and move forward..
I think we call it closure..
I think. 
Over think and then come back to this....


So, I fear nothing, no-one and MOVE FORWARD
I love life. 
I love TRUTH. 
I cherish people who do the same. 

Today I have FAITH. 
I remain calm.
I stay happy and above all POSITIVE. 
About life. 
About my friends. 
About my family.
I am healing..inside and out..I am seeking inside and out..I am loving. 

{Only God can take care of the rest.... 
Only Faith can lift me when I am down....
Only Love can prevail. 
Only TRUTH can be exposed. 
Only prayer will get me through this...
Only my family will understand.}

Love, FAITH, Happiness and Positivity..that's what I want from now on... 
I am working on ME. That's all. 

When life's got you down..look up...
HE is there and HE has the answers...
HE will embrace you and HE will change you!!! 

Blessed Sunday. 

Saturday, October 22, 2011

{Waffles and Oatmeal} ♥

It's the small things. 
It's the simple life. 
It's those moments of Blessing. 
It's positivity. 
It's happiness. 
It's loyalty. 
It's Love.
It's Friendship....
It's focusing on those who sincerely and truly love you.
Forgiving those who have hurt you...
as I pray they have forgiven me....

We move on.. We move forward. 

Our goal as Parents of Dos is to be  AMAZING, STABLE, HAPPY AND THRIVE for these two Beautiful children:

They are our livelihood, they are our family... we can only be here for support of others but THESE two little waffle and oatmeal eating monkey's are the ones that at the end of the day require all of our time, effort, attention, LOVE, support and hugs!

Great Saturday Everyone! 

Remain....
Positive! 
In Faith. 
Happy.
In Love.
Blessed. 



Wednesday, October 19, 2011

{Special Feature} ♥

I feel so posh today! Don't look it but totally feel it!

I tried Vlogging this morning..and uhm ME GUSTA! :)


Then... I was asked about my Blog Designer! 
WOW. 
Let me inform you all, my ::insert tickled pink giggles here:: Blog Designer is a fellow Houstonian Momma Blogger! 

I love that!

She has done an amazing job on my Blog and here is her info:

Her Name is Jamie Kubeczka from { Family of Four }
She is not only a fellow Momma of Dos but also an awesome Graphic Designer: HERE
And you can contact her: HERE!

Have a GREAT day All. 

Blessed. 
Positive. 
Health. 
Healing.
Life.
&
Faith....

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Boiling Point.

I have a story...about a Momma who wished she could be a stay at home momma....

That's right. 

Me. 

The times that I have been a "Stay-at-Home" Momma it's been only because I have had a baby! Ha. With my son I was home for almost 8 weeks, I loved it. I didn't want to go back to work and it was a great time. I thought about all the possibilities, I was happy. But, I had to go back to work as my Hubby was laid off and a full-time student. So I went back to work. A year and half later, I had my Cami, I was home for almost 10 weeks and I MORE THAN LOVED IT. The creative me emerged and I was once more happy. I didn't want to go back to work but had to..so I did. These days I have been home a lot but sick..I just had surgery for a pesky kidney stone just last week.

Why am I pointing this out? Because the times that I have been home with my kids it's been because I have been recuperating from surgery. In the end I have to go back to work because for the time being I am the main support of my family; which I don't mind at all!! I know that when it's all said and done my Hubby having his degree will benefit our whole family of Four! These days I am torn. I have a new position at work, which I love. I love working, I have never been scared to work my butt off and then some. When I have had the chance to, I have worked and worked...and worked.

What makes things difficult is that I have 2 amazing little Angels at home. They are growing so fast and right before my eyes! My little man is 2 years old! My little momma is 6 months old! Some days I feel sad, so sad that I can't be home; HEALTHY, and doing different activities with them. Walks to the park at mid-day, a field trip to the Children's Museum or Zoo with girlfriends, and story time during lunch at the library! That's the perfect "Stay-at-Home" Momma day right? Since I have been sick during my stays at home with my kids that has not been the case...at...all.....

It's been more about  how frustration sets in, these days tears are inevitable; a fussy and active 2 year old and a hungry 6 month old who is teething makes this Momma wish work was a 7 day a week event! Horrible I know. Because then I have those moments of total heart melting stay with me forever love... when I am in pain and my sweet little Camila just fell asleep next to me so that I can rest and Santi is hugging and kissing me cause Momma is hurting....."aiiishhhh" he says as he rubs my arms. Then there are days when Santi proves to be turning into that terrible TWO baby boy that makes him ire-cognizable. It makes me feel like a failure as  a Mom when I tell my son, "STOP THAT Santiago!", and I call his name 20 times in a few seconds, or constantly tell him "SON DON'T HIT YOUR SISTER!" My voice rises and my heart breaks and Santi fights back! That's right. As if he had too many words for me he STOPS me in my tracks, points a finger at me as it waves it back and forth he scolds me in his 2 year old gibberish! His face gets red and tears come as he raises his voice! He then tells me "POW MOM! POW!" As he spanks the side of my thigh and slaps my leg... then the real tears come...mine... all I can think is... "WOW. Connie. You are a HORRIBLE Mom." If you are even worthy of being called MOM. It's been so difficult to grasp that being a "Stay-at-Home Momma" has not been easy for me! If I was well and healthy I wouldn't mind the cleaning and cooking and caring for my kids but I think that because of health...the frustration comes a lot easier! I don't want to be that Momma...grumpy and upset, un-happy and un-fulfilled.

That's when I am reminded....that's why it's not your time yet... everything in My timing Connie. I sit in the living room hurting physically and emotionally and I pray. My prayer begins ...Dear Lord, take my home and hold it. Give us favor and Love. Patience and peace. Dear Lord. Make me that loving mom who has kind words and warm arms. Allow me to embrace my life and love my children as they are. For them to love me for who I am... imperfect, human, and attempting to make things right...every day... Dear God hold me. Hold my children and my Husband.

I want a happy, loving home, amidst the chaos where WE make mistakes, accept the responsibility for OUR actions and words and correct them. I want a home filled with God. Grace. Understanding. Because we are human..and we. will. make. mistakes. Hopefully we will be grace-filled and correct our errors to make a better home. I pray. I Thank God for my life. Our lives together. My inspiration flies HIGH! Faith is restored and my slips are forgotten.

Is your home perfect? If so, HOW DO YOU DO IT?!

Monday, October 17, 2011

{How the "Kindey Stone" Crumbles!}

I am sure that's not the saying but it's the truth in my case! 

Just as I was getting newly inspired and I truly was on a roll...HA. I get sick. I wish it was a 24 hour bug but it's been a two week pain in the buttocks! I had a kidney stone; it was a big booger... 6mm, on the bigger end of kidney stones, yes ONLY ME! My Husband says; "I have a kidney stone and you have to have SURGERY to get yours removed, why are you always trying to one up me!" Ha. He is silly. But, I finally had surgery on Friday and am now recovering. I don't wish this kind of pain or situation on anyone, it's not a comfortable one. I also realized that I have full blow panic attacks during surgery... well, that  I have had them during my 2 C-Sections! The Anesthesiologist on Friday pointed that out...Thanks Doc, as if I don't have enough faults already! HA!

Also going on; my Dad, a construction guru decided that this weekend...while I was sick and in the hospital was the weekend to start remodeling my house! Yes! What are we doing? Camila's room, finally being started on; she needs her big girl crib cause her bassinet is no longer cutting it! Also, my bathroom needed some re-doing and that was started also; and even though I am laying on the couch or in bed directing it all it's still a bit stressful; but it's much needed and very much appreciated! 



So; with the remodel of Cami's room came, moving our computer! Yep it used to be in the room in a corner by a small window and even though it provided much inspiration for a couple of years, I think that I was in need of this change! It now sits in the core of the HOUSE. Where all the fun happy Blessed chaos happens! I think oodles of inspiration will come from it!Yes. Oodles! He.He.



That's what my absence from Blog-Land has led me to.... what about you?  
What are you up to these days!? 
I pray that you are renewed, inspired and Blessed!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Moving Forward.

All I know, is that life goes on...

Everyday... 

We must worry about our loved ones and more so about our own little families more than those around us. People are people. Everyone has problems. We are not here to fix others lives we are here to support and move forward in our own.

My family; my kids and my Hubby are what I strive to improve and protect everyday! I try to be there for others..but at the end of the day, I can't be every where...at least not successfully...

With that said...

Welcome...

This is a new season to Momma of Dos...

In a few months my Hubby will be, God willing, closer to a college degree! We will have placed yet another election behind us {I work in the Elections Division } and my kids will continue to grow before my eyes....everyday!

I have several topics to discuss in the months ahead some of the topics include: 

  • Daycare Dilemma's...still..
  • Potty Training and more...
  • That pesky Vlog
  • My Health and Staying Healthy as a Momma of Dos...
  • Never loose Hope... La Esperanza muere al ultimo...o nunca muere...
  • Momma Wish List
  • Recipes for the Holidays
  • Momma Friends
  • And SO MUCH MORE! 
Oh yes..did I mention... I'M BACK!!!!! 

Monday, October 10, 2011

Camila {6 MONTHS!} ♥


6 months ago; life was different.
Just as we were adjusting to sleeping all night and whole milk, we are Blessed to be there again….
A beautiful little Angel fell from the sky and into our arms.
Her name.
Camila Isabel.
Her grace, abundant.
The love, showered.
My heart once more filled.
My Husband once more on his knees, to pray, to Thank, to Bless, to praise, worship and Love.
For God has been so good to us, it’s unimaginable.
I can’t remember life as 3…we are now 4.
I can’t imagine life without her.
Now a Momma of Dos.
Dos veces Blessed.
Dos veces, AMOR!
Today we live, we cry, we praise, we Love.
Camila has been more than a true dream come true…she’s been our little Angel to help fill the empty spaces in our home, her grandma smiles fill those empty places in our hearts and her girly giggle fills everyone with joy!
I have been here before once.
It’s the story of an amazing 6 month old who is not just a ray of sunlight and Blessing from the sky..but a true BUNDLE OF HAPPINESS.
She is a little circle of babble and love…
My Cami came into our lives 6 months ago…and it’s like we’ve known her and had her in our arms our whole lives.
Nothing should ever be different.
Blessings are so beautiful and we are more than Thankful! 
Santi has a sister, Ricardo and I have a daughter and life has one more sweet little girl to embrace! .
I pray over her every night.
I pray that her life be filled with happiness throughout.
That even if she suffers she knows that God is has her heart in His hands. 
Her life will be a great one….
We love her.
Her brother marvels at her…
Her father falls in love more and more every day….
Me, I was already in love, she has been in my heart all my life.
Now, she is in our lives and we couldn’t ask for anything MORE! 
Blessed. 
Today more than ever....


Saturday, October 8, 2011

Santiago (My ALREADY 2 Yr Old!} ♥

Ahii. Mi Gordo. He just turned 2!!! I can remember finding out I was pregnant in January of 2009 like it was yesterday and here we are today; My Big Boy!!!!


I have decided to write about Santi's Birthday in a letter to him! 


September 16, 2011

Lil'Daddy,

It's been 2 whole years since you physically entered our lives; you lived in our hearts for many years before that. You've been the rock that holds us down, the glue that keeps us together and the wheel that helps this little family of four train keep chugging along. You've been the most beautiful little man to enter our lives, EVER! 

I want you to know that you are an amazing Blessing, your an awesome Big Brother, you are the Best Son that God has given us! 

I pray that as the years go by you can learn that Jesus is the one who can transform us from ordinary to extraordinary. That life is not perfect and neither are people but with hard work, TRUTH, and dedication anything is possible. That even though we can struggle at times NOTHING is too difficult to overcome. That your strength comes from God, prayer and keeping in constant contact with our loved ones. I pray that you can grown to be a respectful man of true honor and integrity but that you  know that you can stand up to anyONE no matter what in order to be a fully respectable person! Your Dad and I will be here for you as much as we can but there will be a day when you have to leave our side and become an adult. With that said I pray that we can make your childhood and adolescence an enjoyable time and not a stressful stage. That we can then teach you that as you become an adult you should be independent, self-sufficient, and  considerate. I also pray that God continues to protect you from harm and that you can choose friends who will allow you to grow, build you up and protect you. Know that God is truly good. Learn that although life is not fair, it is what we make of it. 

I also want you to know that your Dad and I, love you, and Cami, more than life. That the sacrifices we make now are for the better of our family in the future. Please don't resent us for working long hours and going to school when we should be cuddling with you on the couch at night. Know that what we do, we don't do for recognition but for the economic stability of our little family.  Our parents came to the U.S. many years ago for us to have a better life than they had and the same way that I hope we are making them proud, I pray that in the future you can be proud of our struggles and accomplishments for the better of our family. 

I know you are only TWO but this is life. These days you spend your time running around and never tiring. Whining but not really crying. Laughing with your heart and soul and enjoying life as every child should. You love to make your sister nervous as you playfully pull her from side to side, don't worry she is a tough one...you don't scare her, she loves when you're silly and is never bothered by your screeching yells! You are ALL boy. The sweat in your eye and boogers on your shirt don't phase you, you thrive on the everyday excitement of learning and living to the fullest. You dance and repeat almost every word we say! You are playful and a joke-ster but  you hate being scared or caught off guard. You know how to push our buttons and that even though we play and have fun there are serious times when you know you are not suppose to do certain things. You are fearless against the chancla and punch your great-grand-ma when she tells you..."ven hijo"..ahii. You love rock music and can dance to just about anything. You love music and for some reason your fascinations are Yo-Gabba-Gabba and the Wiggles. Ahiii. You know Spanish and English and I hope  you keep it that way, trust me, you will thank me later. Te lo juro, es lo mejor para ti, y tu futuro!

Your Dad. He is a strong person of Faith even though he claims to be otherwise. You should respect and look up to him, he is doing a lot for us right now. He loves you more than you will ever know. I am sure that as the years pass his ways will change but for now, he holds you when you cry, he eat your go-gurts, and he loves Rio! He's prayed for you many a nights and he will give his life to see you happy. I hope you can more than appreciate everything that he does and listen to his every words with Faith that he only wants the best for you. Know that you can go to him for anything. He is a great person. Know that when he is serious he is serious but when he is joyful he is amazing! 

Your little sister Camila. She is only 6 months and already you are her world and amazement. She wants to be YOU! She wants to keep up with you and be with you all the time. She laughs when you're silly and cries when you hurt her feelings. Be gentle, protect her and keep her close. She will be all that you have when we are gone. 


I don't want to scare you but I always want to speak to you with the truth. Know that we love you and that we've needed you in our lives always....

Happy 2nd Birthday Santi! 
Tu eres todo para nosotros. Tu eres quien ha llenado nuestras vidas de amor. Y entre tu y tu hermana son todo lo que necesitamos para vivir. 

We love you,

Momma

P.S.{You are 32lbs, and 35 inches tall. The day of your 2 yr check up your doctor gave you 4 months to start talking in TWO word phrases. You are still drinking our of your bottle and not potty trained yet. I am giving you time. You are a healthy little boy and love to eat!}

On your second birthday your Grlan'ma' Chelo bought you a cake and we gave you a movie...Madagascar, which you broke in half the following morning... Ahii. 

{Your Momma was working outside the home for Harris County in the Elections Dept and your Daddy was doing an Internship at 32 with Vaughn Construction, he was also taking his last 5 of 6 classes and keeping a tight budget for us to make it through one more semester. You and Cami are being taken care of by your Gran-Ma' Martha, at her home, everyday. I know you give her a hard time but she doesn't mind it at all. Ever.}

You love your Cowboy Hat and boots, you LOVE your rocking horse, you feed it and ride it almost everyday. You love your tent which sits in the middle of the living room and you love s'plite and go-go's. You are great at sharing food but not so much your toys, you'll learn. You love movies and think that if you tap the side of the TV a new movie will start. Everyday you do a different dance and you sing along with all your movies. We can't get enough of all the silly things you do and learn. We laugh everyday and love you more and more as time goes by.....

I am sure I have forgotten many other things that we want to say, that we love about you and that you have learned in these 2 years but know that you are loved. That you love everyone. Smile and kiss every girl you can and hug just about anyone. You love to high five and knuckle love. You say Go'nite and 'sta manana {without the accent, Ha.}.




Tuesday, October 4, 2011

{Out of Pocket}

I know.

I have lost touch.

Not sure when I will be back..but I hope it's soon.

For now..I have one request...

Prayer Request that is....

For our family.

Extended family that is....

My Husband and his family need your prayers....for healing...strength...faith...clarity...victory!

I know they will overcome.

God performs miracles...and we are seeking his Faith! His Face!

Psalm 21:11; "though they plot evil against you and devise wicked schemes, they cannot succeed; for you will make them turn their backs!"
Thank You for your patience....

May you have a Blessed week....