Tales of a Daycare Momma ::Momma Guilt::

This morning I witnessed a Momma standing by her child's classroom as the little girl balled her eyes out inside. The Momma felt bad. I know the feeling all too well.

That moment, when you don't know if you should allow your children to learn to develop their sense of self and be independent in the "real world" or just run back in the room and hold them a little longer. 

These days we pray on the way to school, I pray in silence for my peace and for their constant protection. I then take my kids to breakfast in the daycare eating area, and finally usher them into their classrooms reminding them that; I love them and will be back soon. I hesitate and wait for their reactions. Sometimes those reactions, especially my 2 almost 3 year old Camila's, are mixed. 

Some days they walk off confident and happy to be in a place filled with friendly familiar faces; where they know they will play and learn all day. Development and social skills are essential at this point in their lives and I value and understand that.  

Some days, they cling to my leg or arms as if they have never been there before. Those days, my heart aches a little more than usual. Some days, my own tears are inevitable as I drive to work. For my Santi, I think it's easier, he is older he knows, I will be back. Camila, she is a girl, doubt lingers in mind just bit, everyday. 

On bad days, the Momma guilt settles in as I walk out of the daycare door thinking, I am a horrible person, why did I leave them? Then I am reminded. I stayed home and it didn't work for me. 

Providing for my family outside the home has resulted in my own accomplishments and sense of self and development. Don't want to sound selfish but I enjoy my time away from home; no matter how stressful it can be. Gives me a sense of contributing to society as not only a Mexican-American female with a degree but as a Mexican-American female with DOS children who can be reminded that there is nothing wrong with wanting a career while being a Wife and Momma. 

And, that doesn't mean I don't miss my children when I go to work. Because, I do.  

The question then becomes; how do I cope on a daily basis? 

Like every adult who makes decisions and settles with the consequences. I deal with it. One day at a time. It's difficult at times but rewarding when your children come home with tons of stories to tell about their teachers and friends, piles of art work, exciting new skills and oh yes, songs! FUN, fun songs!! 

Not a recent picture.  

They quickly forget that I left them and are simply happy to see me. 

That's when I know that the outcome is worth it. 

{The Daycare Post}

One of the everyday issues as a Working Momma, I think, is la guarderia {daycare} it sounds so negative in Spanish. Ha. I imagine a guard and my kids just there, being guarded. Kept from the outside world? Dramatic much? Just a bit.

It has always been one of my concerns. My son has been in daycare on and off but my daughter spent one week in daycare last year and uhm, lets just say, it didn't work out. Almost 3 weeks ago though both my children headed back to daycare as I started my new job. It was a different experience this time. I was ready for them to go back and they were ready to be there. Especially Santiago. Camila, we were worried about.

Surprisingly enough she was doing really good until about day 4, the realization that I was actually leaving her the whole day, set it. How could I have ever left and abandon her there? So much so, that when we "reunite" in the afternoon it's emotional. Her face cringes and tears start to fill her eyes as she sees me walk in the door. She runs to me with hugs and excitement.  I feel bad. And, the other morning leaving her was emotional more so for me than for her.

Thankfully our daycare is so good they immediately sent me a text, a picture of Camila eating breakfast calmly and sitting with her class and teacher around her. It put me at ease. I realized though that if I leave her within her group in the morning it's easier. I usually drop them off in the breakfast room and then they are escorted to their class but Camila doesn't like that part of the morning, thankfully there are options.

It helps me realize how different my kids are.

I also realized that my own anxiety and worries are what put me in an emotional place with Camila, and I am sure she can sense the fear. Thankfully, this week I kept calm and so did Camila. I found the secret to leaving Camila at daycare without either of us crying or having a bad morning.......

Good-bye bad mornings, Hello happy Cami and Momma.

As a working Momma I have always had mixed emotions about leaving my kids behind. The fear and the what-ifs are easy to overcome if you trust your child's caregiver. That feeling that your kids are safe and happy throughout the day is a peaceful feeling.

At times, I think it's more difficult for us as Momma's to deal with the separation anxiety than it is for our children.... but we say a little prayer and move on in our day.

With a little faith and confidence everything will be ok at the guarderia.... 

{Update Ya' Monday!}

Don't mind if I do!!!

I had a really rough weekend..my Hubby is in transition from his OLD job to a HOPEFUL and awesome new career!!! SO, he is working. Lots. I dealt the whole weekend without him, no bueno... I know, I can be a little spoiled.

I was already stressed thinking about our Monday and the kids starting DAYCARE!!!! Yes, I know that word sends chills up my spine....BUT we have to trust not only in God that the kids will be ok but in people that they will care for them as if they were their own!

Until now I have been ever so Blessed and my Mother-in-law watches my DOS for me while the Hubby and I head to work every day... but guess what...she needs a little break too, so she went on vacation and it was a PERFECT opportunity for us to explore the world beyond...that and Santi had a Speech evaluation where it was suggested that he should start a Pre-K 3 program , so everything kinda really just fell into perfect place..like always!

Plus, this daycare is Christian based! They have Bible study hour which was my MOST favorite part of it all!

After the morning meltdowns on all parts, yes..this Momma and the Daddy had issues with leaving the kids this morning... everyone had tears in their eyes...every.one. Ha. But, I think the day will get  better, I checked on them and aside from Santi fighting the teacher on his diaper change, I think we are a GO! Makes this Momma heart happy and excited! My Cambam was doing awesome...as we thought she would...Santi is a stubborn lil'man and not one to like change very much.. I know he will be ok, it will just take a few days...weeks..or months... ha.

Oh yes! MY BLOG BUTTON/AD IS BEING RUN ON THE MOMMY MADE BLOG FOR THE MONTH OF JULY!!!!!  Excited!!!!

This will be a GREAT week I can feel it!!!!!

Daycare Hunt.

The search and research is on!

As I seek out an appropriate and safe Daycare for my son I realize how crazy it can be!

First off.... You....you well secured, high class, fancy teacher, awesome curriculum, high tech daycare...you had me at "Hello!"

But, they do say that, "Not everything that shines is gold!" {Or something like that...Ha.} So, regardless of how safe, advanced or certified a place can be, anything can happen.  And, I must seek out the best and most affordable place. I can't just jump into an expensive daycare life style for my son even if he does deserve the absolute best...it's not always feasible.

So, I will keep looking....there has to something equally amazing with a smaller price tag.... I am a bargain queen but always find great things!