Showing posts with label Featured Guest. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Featured Guest. Show all posts

Thursday, August 23, 2018

::Supporting Local Moms:: #InspiredSeries


It shouldn’t be a surprise that I often find myself connecting, networking, stalking (in a very non-creepy way) local mom groups or women’s groups in general. I love forming relationships with these women because well, that’s kind of what I do. A few months ago, I connected with Amanda of the West University Moms Network and a few weeks ago I discovered a similar group closer to where I live, the Katy Moms Network so naturally I asked Amanda to introduce me to them and well now here we are. I was featured on their page and since they are pretty badass women I decided that to feature them here would be perfect!  Meet Audrey & Natalie as they share with us how they met and are building a community for local momma’s. 



Hey y’all! 

We are Audrey & Natalie from Katy Moms Network! We were brought together by motherhood two years ago when we moved across the street from each other and quickly became best friends. We’ve got four amazing kiddos between the two of us, and our sweet, supportive husbands. And they’re all best friends, too! Our oldest, both daughters, are four months apart, and our youngest, both boys, are four months apart! Natalie not-so-secretly fantasizes about getting pregnant with Audrey again at the same time and hopes their husbands aren’t reading this! 


Audrey is a Katy native and after moving around Texas for a few years, made her way back to this amazing community to raise her family. Natalie’s an Oklahoma girl who lived in the Northeast for five years before coming home to the great state of Texas in 2015!

We launched Katy Moms Network, an online platform for moms, in early June and have been blown away by the early support! We’ve also started getting out in the community to connect with moms outside phone and computer screens, and that’s been super rewarding. We hosted a Toddler Time event at a local Chick-fil-A recently and were approached by two separate moms who said they hadn’t had the best luck with getting to know other moms in the community, but thanked us for being open, inviting, welcoming and warm. We looked at each other and said if we do nothing else...if all we do is THAT...then we’re happy. We have big dreams for this community and it’s been so fun getting to connect with so many already.

The wheels started turning for Katy Moms Network in the early Spring of 2018, after recognizing a need in the community. What if we could create an online community where local moms could go for resources and information, while also being a source of inspiration, community and togetherness, and support. 

We’re also deeply passionate about motherhood. The journey of motherhood is something that overtook us in a way that we never knew possible. It’s this life-changing, earth-shattering moment when you become a mom, and a deep, indescribable love you never knew you could feel. But motherhood also comes with really hard, hard stuff. It’s a role we hoped we’d always play, but didn’t know just how much it would transform our hearts. Motherhood: something we were designed and made to do and something literally billions of women do across the globe, but also something so intricate that every woman has their own unique, beautiful experience and journey with. 

Most of us all follow some larger scale mom community online. The ‘I Mom So Hard’ and ‘Cat & Nat’s of the World, along with awesome blogs like Motherly and Scary Mommy. Tons of amazing platforms that bring togetherness, acceptance, and support back to motherhood. But there’s nothing like that on a hyper-local scale that we’ve ever been able to connect with on a meaningful level. We wanted to create a space where we can go to feel supported, inspired, accepted, normal, and all feel a true sense of community. A place where you feel understood by the moms who literally live next door, who are doing this all right along with you. A place where you can get all the information you need- best doctors, best places for dinner with kids, and what the heck to do in this town with those tiny humans! All this in one place, curated for you. So we created it! And Katy Moms Network was born.

What you’ll find on our site and our social media channels is a resource-rich website with local activities and events, as well as original, unique content. Our content will aim to inform, support, inspire, uplift, educate, and hopefully even make you laugh. Or maybe we can make a day where you felt guilty for yelling at your dang kids all day feel okay and normal because hey, we probably did it too. Because behind this website are just two Katy moms, just like you. We’ll aim to continually evolve this space, so it becomes your go-to resource in Katy, TX. We’ve also had so much fun adding the Monday Meet A Mom Feature, as well as Small Business Saturday, as a way to highlight mamas kicking ass and businesses that inspire us. Katy’s a pretty special place and we feel lucky we get to raise a family here. The moms we’ve met over the last few years in Katy have been instrumental in our lives and we’ve built friendships that will last a lifetime- not only for us moms but for our kiddos.

We like to think the best way to do this whole mom thing is with each other- a community of strong, kind, supportive mamas. They say it takes a village and we couldn’t agree more. Our best advice for any mother is to find your people. And if you don’t have your people yet, let us be your people. We would love to be in your village!

FOLLOW THEM HERE: 






Monday, June 25, 2018

Staying Positive in a Negative World :: Guest Blogger from Houston Latina Bloggers::


::GUEST MOMMA BLOGGER TODAY::

Staying Positive in a Negative World by Erica Martinez


I am a mother of three beautiful children. Every day I see more and more negativity take place in the world around us. Growing up I remember as a kid I just worried about my favorite cartoons that I was going to watch on Saturday afternoon and staying up a little late because it was the weekend. These days our children go through so many more advanced issues that we never even had to deal with until adults. 

With technology becoming and being such a huge part of our everyday lives, it is important to keep a positive outlook on the world around us. Who we associate with and what we allow into our space has a great impact on how we handle everyday issues. 

Let’s be real…staying positive can definitely be a true task for some of us when so much negativity is surrounding us on a daily basis. Whether it is an unhappy customer, family issues, illness or death, a failed relationship, we all can relate to having some type of negativity we deal with daily. We hear of so many sad stories and real-life events that take an emotional toll on us and sometimes staying positive can be very hard.  

Let’s look at some ideas on how to stay on that positive vibe:

Keep positive friends around!
Keeping friends who are upbeat and positive will keep your mind focused. You will be able to have your own circle of greatness and positivity surrounding you to help you stay in the right mindset. Don’t ever underestimate a good girl’s night out- whether that is a movie night and popcorn or a dinner at your local favorite diner. Keeping good vibes around is the best thing in town!

Find your happy place!
Do you have that favorite spot you just like to be when things get out of control? That is what I call your “Happy Place.” It’s a place that helps you unwind and relax when things are just a bit too much! Keeping a happy place is one of the best assets to keeping negativity out of your mind and heart. 

Make time for you!
I know this one is always hard for me. Being a mom to three children and running so many projects, my main priority is always taking care of everyone else. Yes, of course, we still need to do our motherly duties, but I think we forget that we are important too! Take time for yourself. Take a nice relaxing bath, go to the movies, shop a little. (In moderation of course! Then we will be worried about what we bought!) We need to always understand we matter too!

Cut out Negativity
This is also a bad habit to break because it pertains to so many things. This could be eliminating negative people, gossip, and just anything that is not released into this world in a positive way. I know lately, turning on the television brings instant negativity. I’m not sure why we can’t hear about all the good things that happen in and around Houston? But, it does seem that we only hear about the bad things happening which can have a huge negative impact. I personally stop watching the news. It was just a bit much for me and it has helped. Figure out where your negativity is in your life and release it! Believe me, you will feel so much better when you do!

Staying positive can help you feel great and express greatness in the world. Smiling at those around you, showing kindness to those around you and encouraging and sharing the positive vibes will make impacts on everyone you meet. Bringing kindness and positivity into the world begins in our home. I make it a point to show my children to be kind and treat those around us with respect. It all begins with you and you can make that change in the world.






My name is Erica Martinez. I am a mother to two children and one future stepson... so really 3 beautiful children. I am a writer and event planner. I own my own company Socially Elevated. I love making new friends and being a part of a group of strong women!
IG: @tx_southerngirl 

affiliate link for Momma of Dos-  TARGET

Wednesday, May 30, 2018

::Four Tips on How to Pick A Therapist Now That You’re Ready for Therapy:: Guest Blogger- Eliza Boquin, MA, LMFT


LINK TO MORE EPISODES::HERE:: 

As Mental Health Awareness Month comes to an end, you’ve probably heard about the importance of therapy many times by now.  Now you’re finally convinced that therapy isn’t restricted to people living with a major mental illness and realize you don’t have got be in crisis to go to therapy.  

Yay, you!

The problem is you don’t know where to start on finding a therapist.

No problem!  

Here are Four Tips on How to Pick A Therapist Now That You’re Ready for Therapy:

1) Ask for a Referral from People You Know:  Don’t be afraid to ask people you know if they can recommend a trusted therapist.  Most people are eager to share a referral of services they love.  Therapy is no different.  Ask them what they like about the therapist; why they chose them; what they gained from therapy with them.

2)  Ask for a Referral from a Physician:  Medical professionals often have a network of referral sources, including therapists to whom they refer clients.  If the reason you’re seeking therapy is related a medical issue, you can also sign off medical consent for your physician to collaborate your care with your therapist.  Addressing both medical & mental health issues is key to getting the most out of your therapy process.

3) Use an Online Therapist Directory: If you rather find a therapist on your own then hop online.  There are several online directories, including melaninandmentalhealth.com which specializes in listing culturally competent therapists, that you can search by your location to find a therapist near you.  Most of these websites will include a link to the therapist contact info.  This is a great way to review several of your options at once.

4)  Call the Therapist: Now that you have a referral, maybe even a few referrals, reach out to the therapist.  Call them and tell them you’re interested in going to therapy but first, you want to find out a bit more about their service.  Some therapists, such as myself, offer free phone consultations.  These consultations are the perfect opportunity to give the therapist a general overview of what’s bringing you to therapy (remember, this won’t be a therapy session) and asking them a bit more about their practice.  This also allows you to get a feel for the therapist’s personality on the phone.  Finding a therapist that you feel is a good fit for you is essential to the therapy process, so if the vibe feels off, don’t be afraid to keep looking.

The process of finding a therapist can be overwhelming, especially, if you’re eager to start on the path towards healing.  Stay encouraged and remember, there is strength in seeking support.  Use the tips listed above and commit to the process.  

Remember, therapy works if you work the therapy! 

XOXO
Your Favorite Therapist,
Eliza


Eliza Boquin, MA, LMFT
trswc.com
https://www.melaninandmentalhealth.com/
281.849.9914

As a Licensed Psychotherapist, Relationship & Sexuality Expert, and Owner & Founder of The Relationship & Sexual Wellness Center, Eliza Boquin works with couples and individuals to overcome any traumas, pain, or destructive patterns that keep them from enjoying healthy, satisfying, and pleasure-filled lives.  By working with clients in her office, online, and in workshops Eliza helps people gain the skills necessary to get closer to their life and relationship goals.  She is also the co-founder of Melanin & Mental Health, an organization committed to spreading mental health awareness in Black & Latinx communities.

She believes that pleasure is our birthright and shame is one of the greatest blocks to enjoying healthy, balanced lives. Eliza's journey of finding healing through self-compassion drives her to help others heal from shame. 

Topics of discussion she frequently comments on include: Unapologetic Self-Care, Therapy Stigma in Minority Communities, and Mutually Satisfying Healthy Relationships.  Her advice has also appeared in Bustle, ThriveWorks, Good Therapy, Stylecaster, Fatherly, Business Insider, and various local radio stations in Houston, TX including Amazing 102.5.


Download Your FREE Self-Care Reset Guide:

Tuesday, May 8, 2018

Protect the ones you love By Ariana Montelongo

When Tragedy Strikes

February marks the month that my life would forever change. On February 24, 2012, I received THE call. That dreaded unexpected call. My best friend Alex was fatally injured in a car accident while driving across the state to come home and console his grieving wife (and my other best friend, Maria) who had just buried her dad. Maria wasn’t over the initial shock of losing her father and now she faced the harsh reality of losing her husband, father to their five children, and grandfather of two. Their lives forever changed. The worst was yet to come.


One year and nine months later Maria was killed in a car accident while driving home from work. How could this happen? Why did this happen? So many questions left unanswered yet so many responsibilities overwhelming the children at this tragic time in their lives.

We may never know why these things happen to the people we love. What we do know is that we have two options: hide behind the mask of denial or arrive at acceptance. Live life on life’s terms. Plan for the best and prepare for the worst. 

Six years have passed since the loss of both my best friends. Four of those years I spent living in denial, full of resentments, refusing to face reality. Then, on the third anniversary of Maria’s passing something changed. I shifted my focus to solution-based living and have since embarked on a quest to bring education and resources to families so that they can protect their legacy. 

Protecting your family against all odds

Here are five areas where you and your family may be unprotected and the solutions to get your house in order:

  1. Will & Testament: Also called a Will. Is a document that describes how a person’s debts are to be paid and assets distributed at his or her death; it names a guardian for minor children, and names an executor or personal representative to oversee the settlement of the estate.
  2. Living Trust: Also called a Revocable Trust, is a trust that is often used to avoid probate. This type of trust can be changed or revoked at any time (and from time to time) during the lifetime of the person (called the settlor or the grantor) who set it up.
  3. Power of Attorney: Is a document which names and authorizes a person(s) to make financial decisions and/or transactions for another person (called the principal).
  4. Living Will Declaration: Also called an Advance Directive, is a document that instructs your physicians and loved ones as to your intentions relative to life support (i.e., artificial nutrition, hydration, and respiration), in the event that you are permanently unconscious or have a terminal condition.
  5. Healthcare Surrogate Designation: Also called a Health Care Power of Attorney, is a document naming a person to make health care decisions for another person (called the principal) when the principal is no longer able to do so.
  6. HIPAA Authorization: “HIPAA” is the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996, a federal law that protects a person’s private medical and mental health information. A HIPAA Authorization is a document that designates a person(s) who may receive another person’s private medical and mental health information.

If you don’t have these documents in order and you think you do not have a plan, think again. It’s likely that the state where you reside has a plan for you. You could run the risk of the state taking temporary or permanent possession of your assets and most valued possession – your children. 

For a nominal cost, you can protect your family and your hard-earned money by visiting: 



About Ariana Montelongo:


Ariana is a public speaking maven whose titles include Realtor, Director of the Katy Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, and WealthWave Financial Advisor. She graduated with a Public Relations and Global Business degree from the University of Houston and has been in the media industry for over ten years. She enjoys empowerment sessions,  networking and educating women on financial freedom.


Thursday, January 4, 2018

::Momma Podcast:: #InspiredSeries

It's 2018 Y'all!!! 

Did you miss me? Well, I am back. Sharing some fun ladies this week. Here we go. 

One of my favorite things to do is listen to Podcasts. I might have mentioned in the past that one of my favorites is THE MFCEO. Well, think of that but with MOMMAS! 

I started following and listening to Elle and Liz a few months ago when we met in a Facebook and Instagram group. Their conversations are SO fun, so real and so heart-warming. They have truly inspired me and moved me to tears with their shows. So, I decided to kick off the year by featuring them and their Mami podcast. (Links at the end of this post.) 

Hoping to one day follow in their podcaster footsteps... hello universe in 2018, te hablo a ti. 


:: About Oye Mami Hosts :: 

Hi! Our names are Elle Gutierrez & Liz Quirion, We are 36 & 32 yrs old and we are from New York City. Upper West Side and Brooklyn to be exact. Liz's parents were both born in the Dominican Republic and Elle's parents were born in the Dominican Republic and Ecuador. Liz is married and has three children, a 3-year-old son and (surprise) twin 2-year-old girls. Elle is married to her college sweetheart and has three children, two girls ages 10 and 9 and one 5-year-old son. 

:: Interview :: 

Tell me what is it that you are after when it comes to your podcast? What was your original goal? 

We wanted to give women like us a voice. The American Latina is a forgotten genre. Our audience loves Univision as much as ABC, the Latin Grammys as much as the VMAs, Biggie Smalls as much as Marc Anthony. This country is filled with women just like us who struggle with being the bridge between their Latino and American cultures. Our goal is to give these women a home.

Tell me what motivated you to start on this journey?
What motivated us was that during our weekly bochinche calls we would always have a story about someone pointing out how we weren't Latino or American enough. That's how this all started two outsiders rallying up other outsiders and becoming a movement.

Was was your plan of action?
Our first plan of action was to start our podcast off with a good foundation. We studied and learned for a year. We split responsibilities. One of us did all the tech and marketing research while the other listened to podcasts all day so that we could know what we did and didn't want to do. We also worked with our podcast spirit guide, Jackie MacDougall who is a TV & Digital Producer, Podcaster, Writer, and Media coach to help us kick off our podcast in seamless manner. 

How did you first get started and what was the most difficult part?
The most difficult part was going live and sharing our idea with whoever wanted to listen. We stalled so many times. Nothing was ever "right". The fear of vulnerability was our biggest obstacle. 

Did anyone help push you or inspired you to get here?
Elle: My husband. I am so grateful for his support and how he believes in my crazy ideas even more than I do. Also, Liz. When I called her with this idea she could have easily said, "Bish, you crazy" but instead she said, "Let's do this bish". 
 Liz: Elle inspired and pushed me to get here. My husband and family have also been so supportive in believing in our mission and pitching in to help with my three toddlers whenever I need it.

What has your progress been?

We set short term goals and surpassed them. Not to sound super cliche, but we are truly blessed that putting our hearts on our sleeves is being well received. It shows that this was needed. 

How are you keeping motivated to continue down this path?

What keeps us most motivated are our listeners. We had no idea what an impact our show would make in people's lives or how many women would connect with what we were going through. Men too! Whenever a listener slides up into our DM and says that we make them feel normal or that we get them or that we helped them get through a tough day gives us so much motivation to keep pushing. If you have listened to our episodes from the very beginning until now you will see how we held back more in the beginning and are now at a point where we say, "F-it, don't leave that on the cutting room floor because someone will connect". 

What advice do you have for others in your place?

Our advice would be to lead with your gut and work with your brain. Get ready to lose sleep, make mistakes, and get good sunglasses because the shade is real.

We all struggle daily with so many "self-issues"; what has been your favorite quote, book, movie, item, or website that has helped you keep strong and move forward?

Elle: For me and don't laugh it's DJ Khaled. His positivity is contagious. Whenever I feel overwhelmed I tune in to his snapchat story and feel like, if Asahd is a king, I'm a freaking king too. Liz even sent me a DJ Khaled book when I was in one of the lowest points in my life. She loves me. I also keep a mini notebook in my purse where I write my own personal quotes that pop into my head and reading those over inspire me. Now I sound like a low-key narcissist but seriously, re-reading those one liners that I came up with make me re-connect with those times. Some positive, some negative and they inspire me to keep moving forward and creating even more one liners. 

Liz: "It's never too late to be what you might have been" that's my favorite quote by George Eliot. I remember the first time I read that quote. I almost came to tears because I was at a point in my life where I was scared and then this quote popped up and I was like, THIS! THIS! THIS! It keeps me in check every time I think it's too late to accomplish my dreams. 

 
You can contact Elle and Liz (Oye Mami) via 
Twitter: @OyeMamiShow 
slide up in our DMs on Instagram: @OyeMamiShow

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

::Finding the perfect inexpensive gift that will leave them speechless:: Guest Blogger Danelia of DaneliaLoves

{Guest blogger Danelia of Danelia Loves}




During the holidays retailers in general are set to create the perception that everyone needs to find the perfect holiday gift.  These marketing tactics really do work.  People spend a lot of time scoping out the best deals.  Some go as far as joining the frenzy of Black Friday.  Yikes!  But really, what is the “perfect” holiday gift anyway? Clearly, for different people this can mean different things. I personally believe the perfect gift is something that will go deeper than its material significance. Unquestionable, a great watch and a nice purse will always make good gifts. However, when you take the time to add a special touch to what you’re giving, the results can often leave the receiver speechless.
The way to do this is to find something that is significant and relevant to them.  Although it might come easy for some, others might struggle with this task.  One common reason is difficulty knowing what the other person likes while staying within a certain budget.  
Here are a few things you can do in any occasion to help you get started:
  1. Look to see what this person keeps around them.  No, don’t go snooping through their things. Simple look at their environment. What do they surround themselves with? Is it books, music, technology, etc. Usually the items they tend to buy the most are the things they value in life. If they don’t necessarily have a lot of items, maybe it’s photos of their family members or their pet(s). List at least 3 top things that stand out the most.
  2. Now that you’ve figured what items they keep around, try to find out what they like and what they dislike. In this area you’re moving further into a specific category identified above.  i.e. if it’s books, then go deeper into a genre, author, etc.  What’s the pattern in the object that surrounds them? Once again, the kind of books they read can help you determine what’s important to them.  
  3. Now that you have taken care of visual items, move to listening. Listen to what they say or write, online and offline. Pay close attention as this often can reveal a topic of interest for them.  Often, people will talk and engage in conversation that they find valuable. i.e. they talk about their career or their hobbies. Take note.
Now that you’ve narrowed a few things down, it’s time to get creative. Go beyond the item itself, and see how you can tie the items they value most and make it a bit more personal.
Here’s an example of a gift I gave to my husband a few Christmases ago.
I knew there were three things he valued most: his family, his hobby as a photographer, and his career.  I decided to dress up his boys with his business suits and took their photo.  I had it printed in a local Walmart Photo Center, and framed it with a phrase that said, “We know what we’ll be when we grow up…like you!” The outcome was a priceless picture that brought tears to his eyes. He doesn’t do that often.  
The best part is the gift didn’t cost too much to create.  With a little bit of creativity and a heart full of love, you can create that perfect gift.  
When you think of the perfect gift, what comes to mind?
cid:6DB44103-57DC-41FE-B769-3475B49F89A7


*This image was a copy from a cell phone.  The original is much better.

Thursday, December 15, 2016

::Celebrating the holidays with JOY!:: Guest Blogger, Coppelia

{Guest Blogger Coppelia of www.CoppeliaMarie.com

I started thinking about Christmas back in September. Ha! Seriously, there's a website that counts down 101 days to Christmas with ideas on how to get organized, plan ahead and make sure the crazy busy holiday time is less stressful and more merry and bright. The countdown starts in September and I love it!

You know how some people are adulting? I'm more into Christmasing.

And yes, singing loud for all to hear (which, we all know is the best way to bring Christmas cheer), happens daily in my car.

But here's the thing: finding joy during the holidays can be tough, especially if:

-Someone you love is sick, battling cancer, needing surgery, etc ...

This season, it was my mom. (And I'm thanking God that she's doing great! But we were all pretty worried about the whole thing.)


Finding joy during the holidays can also be rough if:

-Finances are tight and the kids need Christmas outfits for the reindeer romp, the holiday piano recital, gifts for the teachers and you need an ugly sweater for the office Christmas party. 

Or, maybe you can relate to this: 


-You know those moments when you go through the drive-through line at Starbucks and try to drown your sorrows in a peppermint mocha or gingerbread latte? You could be having a peppermint pity party. 

So, what can you do when you're experiencing a combination of all these things (and maybe some more that I didn't have on my list), and you are just not feeling joyful? 

You can still have JOY! 

Sometimes getting out of town for a while helps. We recently had a blast at SeaWorld's Christmas celebration. We even met Rudolph! 


But when you're home, maybe wishing you could go somewhere but the circumstances just don't allow (been there, done that), this might help:

There's a local radio station in Houston, KSBJ (I used to do the morning show there!) and they do something called "The JOY Pledge." Basically, when you're feeling the stress of the holidays for whatever reason, or when you have the Christmas blues, you stop for a moment & say the JOY pledge:
I choose joy
And when I keep my eyes on Jesus,I have joy!
 When I lose it, I will choose it.
 I choose joy! 

It might seem like those are just words, and maybe you're skeptical that "saying a pledge" won't do much to solve your holiday woes. But try it! 

Sometimes, a little change in attitude can go a long way. 

If we are focused on all the negative things that are happening, of course we're not gonna feel joyful! 

BUT, when we decide to think about what we're thankful for, when we make up our minds to choose joy, we often find that one of my favorite quotes, really is true:

"Feelings follow actions more often than actions follow feelings."

In other words, if you wait until you feel joyful… you might be waiting until the new year. But if you decide to act and make the decision to choose joy, you might be surprised that the feeling of joy will follow!

I'd love to hear from you in the comments! Share with me the things that work for you as you try to find joy in this season. 

Here's to more JOY than ever before!

Laughing (and being JOYful) thru life,

Coppelia



~Coppelia
Singer/Speaker/Blogger

**My new book is out now!**
"Whole: How One Book Can Transform Your Whole Life" 

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

::Holiday Blues From a Mom’s Perspective:: by Candy of Fullest Mom

:: Guest Blogger today for Mini-Holiday Series :: 



Holiday Blues From a Mom's Perspective
Christmas is, in a sense, a crazy time for moms. We have our usual lists of daily to-dos; but, December completely tops it with a few sparkling extras. There are gifts to mail, seasonal parties to plan, and let's not forget shopping for the kids. It goes without saying that moms are typically the ones in charge of bringing on the festivities and it can get pretty overwhelming. One thing leads to another, then you're hit with RGF (Resting Grinch Face). In fact when asked, 64% of people have the holiday blues. This post will explore how to deal with it from a mom's perspective.

First step is acknowledgment.

You're part of the #StrongMomsClub, right? Yep, me, too. I'm the type to think logically, keep it moving, and even do a few push-ups on the side. When you're faced with the holiday blues, especially when you're busy, it may be hard to acknowledge that you even have it. Additionally, you might just want to pretend it's not there so you can keep your schedule. Pushing it down, and bottling it up, will not do you any good.

If you sense any sentimental or compulsive feelings of being down, or stressed, you need to face it head on. Pause and ask yourself if you would feel this way if it wasn't Christmas time. Symptoms of holiday blues include fatigue, tension, loneliness, and senses of loss. This is different than true clinical depression because the occurrences are temporary and only associated at the onset of the holidays. Once you understand this you can move on to the next step.

Talk about it.

Talking, or communication rather, is the best thing for a mom's well being. Some of us do not work outside of the home and it can get pretty isolating. Additionally, we can get into the false mindset of thinking that no one really wants to hear about our day. There's messiness, slobber, and mundane house chores. Who really wants to hear me complain about that? The truth, your loved ones do.

So, talk about your holiday blues. Get it out. That may be all that you need to make it past the season. Tell your spouse, or close loved ones, that you could use a little help. They will be more than happy to listen.

How to avoid holiday blues in the first place.

Here's a simplified list of how to avoid holiday blues in the first place.

1.    Aside from a few parties here and there, stick to normal routines as much as possible.
2.    Get enough rest. Please do not stay up to 2 am trimming the Christmas tree, or wrapping presents.
3.    Make sure to eat and drink in moderation. Bingeing on holiday ham when you're normally a salad goddess will completely throw anyone out of wack.
4.    Keep things simple and family focused.
5.    Lastly, set reasonable expectations for the month of December. You know you want to do gift shopping, bake cookies for Santa, and all that jazz. Just rationally plan only what you can handle.

Whatever your reasons for celebrating, I hope you find some joy. The holiday blues can be tough to handle from a mom's perspective. Use our tips of acknowledging, communicating, and furthermore avoiding, Christmas depression to turn things merry again.

Sincerely,
Fullest Mom



Guest Blogger Bio 

::Fullest Mom is owned by Candace Ann, wife and mom of 3. Her fundamentals are grace, laughter, and perseverance. She thrives off of coffee and hazelnut syrup. 

Her social media links are as follows:






Tuesday, December 13, 2016

::Survive the Holidays by Setting Boundaries & Releasing Expectations:: by Guest Blogger Eliza Boquin MA, LMFTA-Relationship Therapist

::GUEST BLOG POST- Survive the Holidays by Setting Boundaries & Releasing Expectations::


It’s the most wonderful time of the year...or is it?  For some, the holidays are the highlight of the year.  They look forward to the decorations, traditions, and family get-togethers.  For others, the holidays can trigger painful memories and serve as a source of anxiety and stress. But there’s hope and I’m going to share (2) simple ways you can survive and, hopefully, enjoy the holidays.

1.   Set Boundaries:  Setting boundaries is a term that therapists LOVE to use.  Essentially, boundary setting communicates to others what is okay and what is not okay with you.  In addition to physical boundaries, we can also set emotional and relationship boundaries. 

During the holidays, many couples struggle with how to balance the demands of extended family.  Each partner may feel pulled by their family/friends to partake and celebrate the holidays by their family’s traditions.  This outside stress often results in each partner taking their frustration out on each other.  Here’s the good news! If you set boundaries ahead of time you can avoid a lot of pain & frustration.

How To:  Discuss with your partner how the both of you want to celebrate the holidays.  This may mean setting new traditions.  Decide what works for your relationship.  Be as specific as possible.  What time will you allot for visiting one another’s family/friends?  What time will you reserve for your new traditions?

Communicate to one another what is most important to you – your must haves as well as what you’re flexible on.  It’s important to be as eager to meet your partner’s requests as you are for them to meet yours.

Once you’ve established your limits and rules refer back to them anytime a family member or friend challenges you.  For example, if your sister insists on having dinner for New Year’s Eve at her house because that’s what you’ve done for the past 15 years, but you really want to celebrate New Year’s Eve this year alone with your beloved then be ready to communicate that to your sister.  Note: It’s most important that the person who enforces the boundaries/limits be the one who has the most history with the person challenging the boundaries.

Benefit: By establishing and agreeing to your boundaries as a couple there will be less confusion about how to respond to outside pressure.  If you’ve decided as a couple what you will commit to prioritizing one another’s wishes, then you can both rest assured that you are both working towards the same goal.

2.      Release Expectations: Having a plan and a wish list of ways to celebrate is GREAT.  There’s nothing wrong with having a vision of how you would like things to go.  However, if you forget to include flexibility as part of that vision you’re likely to suffer from great disappointment when if things don’t go exactly as planned.  I’m no psychic, but you can probably bet on something not going as planned.  Depending on how you manage disappointment, your reaction may hinder your ability to enjoy the festivities.  However, by allowing for the unexpected you increase your likelihood and ability to manage the stress of things going off script.

How To:  Sit down with your partner and make a list of activities that are important to both of you--activities such as driving around local neighborhoods to see how they decorate their homes with holiday lights or baking cookies. Then decide again which are most important and how you will be flexible about.  It’s great to have a vision, but if you’re ability to enjoy the holiday is contingent upon strict orchestrated ways that these activities will be performed then you may end up disappointed. 

Also remember, this is YOUR vision.  The rest of your family may not find these activities as exciting or joyful as you.  If your ability to enjoy the holiday relies upon OTHERS enjoying the activities you planned you may end up highly disappointed and resentful. Stay flexible!  For example, decide that you want to see the neighborhood lights, but be flexible on the day/time you see them versus, “We have to go see the holiday lights on Christmas Eve at 8 PM with everyone in their PJS and then stop afterwards to get hot cocoa from the coffee shop drive-through because THAT’S WHAT WE DO EVERY YEAR!” That attitude may not spark the holiday cheer you’re working towards.

Benefits: By implementing flexibility into your holidays, you will be better equipped to manage the anxiety that may arise if things don’t go exactly as planned or if someone isn’t as thrilled about your plans as you.  This will allow you to stay in the moment, be present, and perhaps even laugh at the chaos.  I know…wishful thinking.

Whatever you decide to do, remember that the stories and the value we assign to life is exactly that…the value WE assign to it.  So this holiday season, decide WHAT you will prioritize and what value you will assign to it.

Happy Holidays!

Eliza Boquin, MA, LMFTA
Relationship Therapist