::5 Ways to overcome a Challenge:: #WednesdayWisdom

I recently became aware that my coping skills are great, except when I'm under true pressure and stress, go figure! Challenges come in many forms; you can be overworked, having too much on your plate, dealing with difficult people, and really just about anything in life can become a challenge.  If you read about my mental breakdown in 2012 here, then you know how well I handled stress then. I've thankfully grown so much since then; mentally, physically, emotionally. And, I am now able to walk myself back into a good place.

Creating these strengths within myself has been vital to my overall success. 

Some of the best ways that I have learned to deal with it are as follows:

1) Talk it out- Like a really raw and serious talk with someone who will be REAL and RAW. For me, that person is my Husband. He tells me the things, I don't want to hear. And, we all need that one person. Who isn't going to tell you that, it's all going to be OK. Because sometimes, it's not going to be okay, and that is also OK. If that makes sense. (Bear with me here.) But, you want to have that one person who you can truly express your frustration too and will help you talk it out so that you can think of a solution. Sometimes, that person is a therapist. And, that is OK too.

I have had the ability to get therapy and it was truly freeing and very helpful! 

2) Have a moment (melt-down if you will)- the release is needed. A good friend told me a long time ago, "Connie, I'm going to let you have your pity party, but then I'm going to need you to put your big girl panties back on and get over it."  It's been the best most memorable pep-talk of my life. One, it came from a very loving place. She meant well and I knew it. She was allowing me to "have my moment" but then giving me the motivation to realize, I could get past it. Sometimes, it's ok to have that moment but don't give up. Keep pushing forward and you will see that it's so worth it.

Also, a rule of thumb. I have my meltdowns, alone, in a quiet place where I can truly reflect. 

3) Don't be a Victim- Accept that you too have faults and are allowing these things get to you. There is nothing worse than denial. And, don't get me wrong. I have been there. I pretend that everyone else has issues and I'm the victim they prey on. Nope. A lot of times I am my own issue. Whatever it is, I have been there. We all have faults. Instead of focusing on a "woe me mentality" push forward and think about the solutions and positive. It's often hard to see these when we are in the middle of something bad but trust me, steps 1 and 2 are a huge help.

Don't be a victim, be victorious! 

4) Care but not too much- I hate this advice. Because I am a person or was one, who cared so much all the time about what people thought about me or if I was playing nice. Well. (and, it's easier said than done.) Try not to care so much. Care enough that you know hard times can come, bad things happen and you will make it through. But, don't dwell on the feeling so much that it consumes you. As an overthinker, thoughts, and what-ifs slowly eat at my soul. I know I'm weird. But, it's true. Over time I have learned not to allow this to hinder my existence or to slow my progress. You should never allow emotions of what others could think of you, overwhelm you this much. Don't get me wrong, it happens, but push past it anyway!

Push through the emotion... 

5) Move forward As that famed Ice Queen (and my 6-year-old daughter) would say, LET IT GO... LET IT GO..- The hardest part of getting pas hard times, for me, is letting it go. Not everything has a solution or endpoint. Not everything will. Knowing that sometimes words are left unspoken, through are held back and people change, is the key to moving forward. Being able to let things go and again not allowing them to dwell or sit in your mind or heart is very important. Very important. Let it go, more so for you than for the situation or person.

And, remember that you can and WILL overcome these challenges. You can do this Momma!

Remeber that troubles are temporary.... live in peace with yourself and who you are... 

::Texas Conference for Women:: Prudential #OwnMyFuture

::Momma Disclosure:: This is part of a sponsored collaboration with Prudential and DimeMedia. However, all opinions expressed are my own. 

This year I had the amazing opportunity to attend the Texas Conference for Women which is held in Austin each year. I was in a "dual role" as I was not only a Social Media Roundtable speaker but also as a sponsored Prudential representative. The experience as a whole was very unique for me this year. I have attended the Texas Conference for Women in the past and their a message and what they represent for women not just in Texas but all over the US is I feel very important, powerful and empowering. It empowers especially Momma’s like myself who have a full-time career and who also pursue "side-hustles" or  "side gig", as we call them. 

Of course, partnering with Prudential meant thinking about my finances, which is a good thing trust me. It meant really thinking about the messages that are sent to not just the women in our lives but ourselves and how we can own our future as financially successful women.

I have to admit I’ve worked my whole entire life since I was in my teens and money has always been something that I knew I would have to work for. Everyday. But, just like I worked hard and I spent hard. Sadly, that’s exactly how I spent a big part of my teenage years and most of my 20's, singlehood and no kids made that easy. But fast-forward 15 plus years and now as a Momma, it's kind of hard to go without a real money plan, because of well; gas, food, daycare, food, diapers, etc. 

Photo credit: @texinmiami

When I met my husband he was very much about his credit score, owning a car, owning his own home, having a savings account, just about anything that I wasn’t he was. He was in his 20's, and already very financially responsible. We were raised completely different and now that we’re married adults with kids we totally see where balance is needed and we realize that we really need to educate our children about finances and being responsible and wise about their money. We, of course, instill in them that an education would be your first and foremost source of income because having an education leads to a career that is stable and brings in a good income. That's not to say that along the way some challenges and/or obstacles might come up. And, that sometimes no matter how much you plan or you think you have your finances in order sometimes life, well, happens! 

In those small but very worrisome moments where you think that maybe you should’ve planned or thought more about my finances is where partners like Prudential come in. They have trained advisors and the right tools or resources to help you plan, prepare and establish financial freedom. We can be part of this process and walk hand-in-hand with an advisor that will allow us to develop a plan that works for us and is tailored to our needs. Which is why I love Prudential and how they can assist with this roadmap... into your financial freedom. 

I've been ready to own my future, now I just need a little-added guidance... Gracias Prudential! 

::Hidden Figures:: Movie Review

This is not paid content and the review is something that came to me because I am super passionate about the things I love! 

{Image Credit: Google Search/Patheos Site}

I finally saw the movie Hidden Figures, and I knew it would be good and I knew I would like it. I mean empowering women of color is in my DNA, right? But, I didn't realize that I would identify so much of myself to the main character of this movie.  Katherine; an educated woman of color who is always overlooked, looked past and through. As a Mexican-American woman in corporate America since 1999, I have had similar experiences in the workplace. No matter how hard you work, someone else always gets the credit. That, someone else, is usually not a person who cares to work as hard as you because of their position of entitlement, which I find sad.  

The notion that you're invisible and irrelevant to your employer even though you're the one getting the work done is one that I have lived with for over 10 years now. Even though I have been in "high ranking" positions, it hasn't been an easy task to accomplish and it also doesn't guarantee truly being recognized or appreciated as much as others. While I definitely DON'T know the extent of racism that these incredible NASA professionals experienced, I have felt the inequality of gender and race in most of my positions and as a culture in the companies I work for.

Please don't get me wrong, this isn't a moment of self-pity or for others to feel sorry for me. Nor is it a complaint or bashing of any current situation in our nation. But, instead, an eye opener. That again, the extent and overt racism experienced by the female "computers" of NASA in the 1960's, still may linger in very low key ways and places where we least expect them. Not too much has changed for women in the workplace, while it is "better" there are still so many barriers we must overcome. And, we will overcome them. {i.e. Women's March 2017}

                                                              {Image Credit: Google Search/Hollywood Reporter Site}

There were moments in the movie where I could NOT hold back my tears. The first pivotal moment was when Katherine had to explain where she was 40 minutes of every day. No one knew her struggle and most overlooked the things that blared out to her. The fact that her boss was so busy he didn't see the barriers she faced, was truly no excuse, but I loved that he was the first one to take action and make those barriers less. I cried so much, I have been there. In white male dominated industries, where the issues a woman may have are not important to them, yet we get our work done and move forward with the pains and barriers we carry. 

Another moment where I felt truly happy and empowered was when Mary explained why the judge should grant her the ability to attend an all-white school. Of course, as you can see at this point, as women, we are always required to defend who we are and why we want to do things to improve our lives. But, that's OK, we endure and move forward. Mary's story is one that as a Momma and Wife, I struggle with, should we go back to school and better ourselves? The answer of course is YES, the issue of when the time is right will never happen. We remain busy and there will never be a better time, than now! I loved her boldness and strength. 

{Image Credit: Google Search/CNN Site}

And, the final moment that made me just fill with awe and admiration for these women was when Dorothy became supervisor of the newly formed IBM group and walked into the IBM room with her entire group of "colored computers". She was proof that when you resist you persist. 

                                                        {Image Credit: Google Search/Boston Magazine Site}

If you have not seen this movie, I recommend it for everyone. To me it was empowering for women of all ages and races. I watched it with my kids, and they knew so much about segregation, being of color and Martin Luther King Jr. that they followed along very well. When Dorthy walked into that IBM room, Santiago said.. "MOM, SHE DID IT!!!" I explained to Camila that because these women were smart, brave and strong they succeeded; she asked if she should be that way in school, to which I replied YES. You should! 

It is in these moments that we should teach our children both boys and girls, to stand firm in what they believe in, to truly follow their dreams and passions and to be BRAVE and stand strong together! I know my kids received the message. They are learning about what it's like to be brown in America, I want them to know their place, to claim what is theirs and to never be scared to be themselves! Regardless of their skin color or gender, they know that if they are strong and brave they will succeed, it's what I plan to instill in them! 

{Image Credit: TenderNest Portraits Houston Texas}