::Holiday Blues From a Mom’s Perspective:: by Candy of Fullest Mom

:: Guest Blogger today for Mini-Holiday Series :: 

Holiday Blues From a Mom's Perspective

Christmas is, in a sense, a crazy time for moms. We have our usual lists of daily to-dos; but, December completely tops it with a few sparkling extras. There are gifts to mail, seasonal parties to plan, and let's not forget shopping for the kids. It goes without saying that moms are typically the ones in charge of bringing on the festivities and it can get pretty overwhelming. One thing leads to another, then you're hit with RGF (Resting Grinch Face). In fact when asked, 64% of people have the holiday blues. This post will explore how to deal with it from a mom's perspective.

First step is acknowledgment.

You're part of the #StrongMomsClub, right? Yep, me, too. I'm the type to think logically, keep it moving, and even do a few push-ups on the side. When you're faced with the holiday blues, especially when you're busy, it may be hard to acknowledge that you even have it. Additionally, you might just want to pretend it's not there so you can keep your schedule. Pushing it down, and bottling it up, will not do you any good.

If you sense any sentimental or compulsive feelings of being down, or stressed, you need to face it head on. Pause and ask yourself if you would feel this way if it wasn't Christmas time. Symptoms of holiday blues include fatigue, tension, loneliness, and senses of loss. This is different than true clinical depression because the occurrences are temporary and only associated at the onset of the holidays. Once you understand this you can move on to the next step.

Talk about it.

Talking, or communication rather, is the best thing for a mom's well being. Some of us do not work outside of the home and it can get pretty isolating. Additionally, we can get into the false mindset of thinking that no one really wants to hear about our day. There's messiness, slobber, and mundane house chores. Who really wants to hear me complain about that? The truth, your loved ones do.

So, talk about your holiday blues. Get it out. That may be all that you need to make it past the season. Tell your spouse, or close loved ones, that you could use a little help. They will be more than happy to listen.

How to avoid holiday blues in the first place.

Here's a simplified list of how to avoid holiday blues in the first place.

1.    Aside from a few parties here and there, stick to normal routines as much as possible.

2.    Get enough rest. Please do not stay up to 2 am trimming the Christmas tree, or wrapping presents.

3.    Make sure to eat and drink in moderation. Bingeing on holiday ham when you're normally a salad goddess will completely throw anyone out of wack.

4.    Keep things simple and family focused.

5.    Lastly, set reasonable expectations for the month of December. You know you want to do gift shopping, bake cookies for Santa, and all that jazz. Just rationally plan only what you can handle.

Whatever your reasons for celebrating, I hope you find some joy. The holiday blues can be tough to handle from a mom's perspective. Use our tips of acknowledging, communicating, and furthermore avoiding, Christmas depression to turn things merry again.

Sincerely,

Fullest Mom

Guest Blogger Bio 

::Fullest Mom is owned by Candace Ann, wife and mom of 3. Her fundamentals are grace, laughter, and perseverance. She thrives off of coffee and hazelnut syrup. 

Her social media links are as follows:

Blog-https://fullestmom.com/

Facebook-https://www.facebook.com/Fullestmom/

IG-https://www.instagram.com/fullestmom/

Pinterest-https://www.pinterest.com/fullestmom/

Twitter-https://twitter.com/fullestmom

G+-https://plus.google.com/+fullestmom

::Momma Wellness is Important::

                                                               {Photo Credit: Bre'onna of EightyTwo Photography}

As usual, I am inspired by women, their strength, and their story. This post was motivated by Lilly of Daily Craving as she shared her experience with PPD. Her words resonated with all the same feelings that impacted my life years ago. I have over the years shared on this blog about mental health and overall well-being as a Momma. I also recently created this video this past December, with a little more insight into my story.

As I sit and think about this post and what I should share. I get sad. I think about all those feeling and thoughts that I have experienced in that last seven years of motherhood. As Momma's we tend to lose our identity. I am guilty of it. We do so much for everyone else. Back in 2012, I was rushed to the hospital as I experienced a panic attack, it was my eye opening or awakening moment. 

We shouldn't wait for an extreme situation to learn that as momma's, wives, employees, daughters, friends, we need to take care of one person, ourselves. Being a Momma, seeking who you are, seeking your purpose, finding your own identity. It should be our priority. Because as they say if Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy! You will not find any of this in the outside world but inside of you. In your heart and mind. By being yourself. By seeking to be purpose filled. By not losing your identity as an individual just because you have become a Momma or Wife, or are a student or employee. This doesn't mean you can't be more. You can be. You should be. For you.

Yes, YOU can. 

This past weekend at our event we had three wonderful speakers who I feel embodied the very aspect of taking care of yourself! Today I want to share a little about them and give you their information as viable resources that you can use! Maybe you don't live in Houston but you can reach out to them on social media or seek the same type of people within your local community.

In the same fashion that it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a tribe to keep a Momma sane! 

Meet Dr. Kelley Watts, she spoke on how to transform your negative thoughts and give us tips on how to de-stress.

{Photo Credit: Bre'onna of EightyTwo Photography}

Dr. Kelley Watts

Psychotherapist & Transformational Coach

Kelley received her Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from the University of Houston. After many experiences elsewhere, including Louisiana, Spain, New York, and England, she has returned to Houston and has a thriving private practice where she works with adolescents, adults, couples and families. In addition, to traditional one-on-one and family counseling, Kelley often works in groups teaching clients skills such as Positive Parenting Strategies, Building Positive Relationships, and Managing Anxiety. She uses a variety of techniques such as narrative therapy, cognitive-behavioral therapy, eye movement and desensitization (EMDR), and mindfulness to work with each client in a unique and impactful way specifically tailored to their needs at that time in their life. With a passion for developing confidence and building resilience in the people around her, Kelley teaches her clients to dig deep, laugh, play, and engage in meaningful and positive endeavors. She sees people through a kind and strength based lens and is passionate about facilitating positive changes in an effective and efficient manner.

Meet Maggie Schorsch of Texas Fit Chicks, she spoke about fitness for Momma's and how important it is to her:

I'm Maggie a 39yr old mother of two. I am a senior trainer with Texas Fit Chicks boot camp. I became a trainer because I feel all women should love their bodies and know what it feels like to be strong.I have struggled with my health and weight and I know how difficult it can be. I hope to change women's lives by empowering them to be fit and healthy.

Meet Sharon Zapata, CEO & Co-Founder of The Zapata Group, she spoke on wellness over the age of 30 and how to remain motivated:

                                                              {Photo Credit: Bre'onna of EightyTwo Photography}

Sharon is a mom of two boys, married, and studied Communications at the University of Houston-Downtown. She is the CEO & Co-Founder of The Zapata Group. As a successful entrepreneur, author, speaker, and business development expert with 15 + years, her know-how for working with people of all professional backgrounds allows her to connect & offer them impressive business development contacts, customers & bottom-line revenue to build their own economies.

She has international experience as a private English Teacher for C-Level Executives in Monterrey, N.L. MEXICO and U.S. Government Security Clearance from the Office of Federal Investigation in Washington, D.C. while working for E.X.I.M. Bank. Sharon is the author of 12 Secrets for Successful Hispanic Women and How To Escape The Lack of Success...Have You Ever Been Dissatisfied?

She is the Creator & Blogger of The Bitchy Business Briefs. A business & lifestyle micro-blog. Her writing inspires entrepreneurs, out-of-the-box thinkers, creatives and action takers to spank the economy.

She recently led a media campaign: Houston's Veteran Women with her client Houston Media Network. She is the recipient of the 2014 & 2015 Excellence Award on behalf of American Intercontinental University Women's Summit and recipient of the Latina Trend-Setter Award from H.E.R.O.E.S. for her contributions to the Houston business community. She serves on the Education Committee with Susan G. Komen-Breast Cancer Foundation, The American Heart Association's Planning Committee {Latina Leadership Circle} and The Texas Alliance for Military Women {Leadership Circle}.

The Zapata Group helps to feed 300 children, women, and men at Loaves & Fishes with an amazing organization RYG {Reach Youth Global}.

Panic Attacks are Uncool!

Photo Credit: Google Search

Panic attacks are uncool.

Back in 2012, I had the most uncool episode. I had to quit my job. I was faced with a horrible feeling of being beside myself. I was laying in the ladies room at my work place with a good friend/co-worker trying to calm me down. Paramedics filled the bathroom and asked of past history. As I write this I tingle and get clamy. It's not cool ya'll! It's the most horrifying feeling ever. To be in a room but nothing makes sense. Your breathing shortens. Your mind clouds and the moment seems endless. I wasn't dying so I went from work to an ambulance to sitting in a downtown ER for hours. Before being sent home with the diagnosis of "crazy person". Not literally but you know what I mean. It was not the most pleasurable experience. And, it was bit embarrassing.

To this day I see people from my old job and they tell me how that was their last memory of me. Me being wheeled out on a stretcher. 

It's not something that I had warning signs for or that slowly came up with different symptoms. I was a Momma of Dos {2}, working full-time with a Husband who was a student and away for almost 2 months in Utah on an Internship assignment. One day I was in "total control"; running a home and getting occasional help with the kids, living alone for 2 months, working as a full-time Assistant Supervisor helping run an office of about 50 employees and "making it all work".  And, the next day I was sitting in my office in a meeting with my supervisor and a group of other employees when I couldn't breath and had lost it.

It's been over 2 years since that happened. I "took it easy" for a while as recommend by my doctor, but how long can you really "take it easy"? Life is hectic. It's hard to always be in relax mode. Despite doctor's recommendations, I never took medication for my "condition". Instead I got a new job, less stressful, and started a new type of lifestyle. Still, life is life. 

These days, the moments of panic come and go. I have learned to control them and manage my day to day with them. I have learned that if  a place is too crowed or stuffy and small, I get a little more nervous and anxious. But, overall I try to make my "overwhelming" situation into one that I can control.

Here are 3 simple ways that I control my panic attacks;

1) ::Breathing Exercises:: Some times I know it's all in my mind, I take deep breaths slowly get up and walk away from the room or what I am thinking and try to relax my mind. It's a rush of nervousness that fills my brain and it quickly travels to all other areas of my being. So, I feel it coming on and I sit back and tell myself it's going to be OK. Some days that works, others I have to get up and walk around or find a quiet place to just relax for a few minutes.

2) ::Asking for Help:: I used to be scared to ask others for help. I hate being a burden. I don't like bothering others, everyone is busy. But, I found that for the most part if I simply ask, people are more than willing to help me. I don't do it often but when I do I make sure that it's for something important. These days, I am always scared people will say no, and they do but I just keep asking around and eventually someone will be available and can help me!  It's also not easy if you don't have too many friends or family that live close by. I have also learned to voice my need for help to my Husband, who then will give me a hand or take on extra time with the kids.

3) ::Take Time Off:: I have learned to just have days where nothing is going on. To relax, catch up on sleep and enjoy the nothingness. It's hard to do as a Momma and some days are better than others. But, even if it's a few extra hours to sleep in or just lay on the couch and relax, I do it. I try to because life becomes busy, very quickly. That's exhausting and draining. And, it affects my level of anxiety. Taking advantage of down time is key in getting your mind clear.

All of these changes help me, the biggest help is seeking medical assistance and/or counseling. I would never have thought of all this on my own, it's something I have learned from different health care professionals.

It has been easier to  manage my everyday. Life can be so stressful but there is always a way.  Never give up on yourself. It might not be easy but it will be worth it.