Every year I try to do something on social media or my blog for my birthday month.... this month, this year, this life have been hectic... but I wrote out a list of 38 birthday wishes.....
For my 38th year of life, I wish the following...
"Blessings for the best, most in alignment year of life to date." (SO MUCH YES!)
I wish to pick up my Bible more times this year than ever before.
I wish for my children to be safe, protected, and healthy.
I wish to be more organized and present as a human being.
I wish to be a more attentive and responsive as a woman to myself.
To continue to surround myself with women, and people who are in similar seasons and have similar goals.
To be a blessing to others.
I wish to grow more this new year of life- Emotionally, Spiritually, Mentally and in Strength.
I am wishing for a new renewed sense of self and self-awareness so that I can continuously admit to my mistakes and correct my actions.
To learn a new skill that will allow me to grow professionally.
To receive and accept all the new blessings coming in my life.
To live abundantly in all the things that I need to survive, especially in love.
I want to wish for further peace; inner and around me.
I wish to pick-up new mediation habits.
I wish to be ever present for those people who truly need me.
To be happy and smile no matter what comes my way.
To bring peace and joy to others.
I wish to be strong and uplifting in the hard times.
I wish to stop complaining about the things, I know I can't change, and take more action.
I wish for a very healthy year.
I wish to bring out the best in others and allow them to fulfill their fullest potential!
To travel more.
To truly and purposefully rest.
To finish reading all the books I've started.
I wish to start doing yoga again and try hot yoga.
I wish to further recognize the people who have truly made a difference in my life.
To continue to eat better and take care of ME.
To take more times out of my day to breathe and reflect and truly be thankful for where I am.
To advance in my career and be at peace with my career choices and path.
I want to set bigger goals and new action items for myself. (Can you say America Ninja Warrior, MAYBE.)
I wish to continue to reach my goals and dream BIGGER every day.
I wish to build a strong community around me who are growing and successful so that I can grow and succeed with them.
I wish to do more volunteer work this year.
I wish to spend more time with friends. Especially friends who I have not seen in a while.
I wish to be better at managing my money.
I wish to turn my passion into my biggest asset.
I wish to find myself and happiness at the same intersection.
::Momma Disclosure:: This is a sponsored post in collaboration with James Avery, all opinions expressed are my own.
I turned 37 last month. And, in celebration of my birthday and my partnership with James Avery, I’m taking some time to reflect on this new year of life... and the opportunities it will bring to improve and grow. No need to be sad or feel regret, life is about living and learning and growing older...and hopefully wiser.
There are so many lessons that I’ve learned over the years. Good, bad. Sometimes sad, life-changing and traumatic. So many experiences and people who have helped me and supported me along the way. Most importantly my family. And, in 37 years all I can say and think of is... I was created for more. More than just being a Momma or a professional.
Along the way, I’ve made many mistakes. Encountered so many problems and obstacles. Been faced with many issues. Some of which I’ve come out victorious and some of which I’ve failed at. I'm human. Not perfect. I say that all the time. I have many faults and make mistakes. Not everyone likes me. I’ve learned to live with this. Such is life.
And, even though some days are tough and my confidence dwindles or I feel unworthy... there are always those moments, those people and certain words that remind me that I truly was created for more. If there is anything I’ve learned is that to make an impact you don’t have to be the smartest, the prettiest or even the most perfect. You just have to be human and care about others.
I am loving my partnership with James Avery and their customizable pieces which constantly remind me of my purpose and that I was created for more! I know that in order to achieve this I, at times, need to slow down, take a deep breath and be reminded of what my true purpose is and how I will achieve my goals.
Year 37, I’ve embraced you and I’m ready for the road that lies ahead. I don't know what it will bring but so far life has not let me down...
No matter what is going on around me, I am choosing to re-think, re-evaluate and re-do those things I know I can do better.
What about you, how are you embracing your purpose and what you were created for? James Avery can help you express this through all of the perfect and uniquely crafted items. ::GIVEAWAY:: Do you want to win a James Avery gift card? You still have until July 30 to enter to win! Post your favorite way to wear their jewelry and use the hashtag #myjasummerstyle
Over the past 6 years, the amount of physical, emotional and learning growth that you have experienced is visible every single day. You are a strong willed, gorgeous little lady who practices self-love daily. You know that you can do anything you want, a little too much some days. You and I have fighting words almost daily, but I love you like no one else. You are not your typical Daddy's girl because some days you don't want to even be around him. But, he spoils you rotten regardless and loves you more than words can express.
You are not really your typical girl in any sense, which we absolutely love about you.
You are VERY humorous, but you are also a little jealous when your brother tries to show you up. We're working on this with you. You love to make people laugh. You dance salsa, merengue and Cha-Cha-Cha. Pretty much anything hip-hop too, you love to be free flowing and we love seeing you come up with new dance moves. About your brother, you love him more than life and even though you guys fight every minute of every day, he loves you just as much. You are usually best friends and loving when you aren't punching each-other and shouting about something.
You know how to make us laugh, you encourage us when we are down. Literally, you have told me "Mom, you can do this." And, you encourage yourself. You are tough at times filled with self-doubt and a little too stubborn. We are working on this too. At times, I want to rid you of your flaws and tantrums, but then I think about how those little things make you who you are and I know that some of those traits will have to remain with you.
You love creating and filming videos for your non-existent YouTube Channel, you've made so many short videos and we laugh so much with them. You don't like to be laughed at. But, your personality is just so great, sometimes, we have to laugh. You've mastered "snapchap" (snapchat). You love makeup and are the girliest of girls. Not sure where you get that from, it's not me. At all. Again, some days I'm highly annoyed because I have no clue where to start with you, but then we learn together and all is good.
You are not only funny and beautiful, you are VERY hard working and smart. We knew you'd be that girl, you want to learn and are very competitive. Which is great. You try hard to reach the same levels as your brother in school, and at times seem to exceed them. You have learned to speak Spanish, all with your own effort. You love doing school projects and making friends. You are too friendly at times and have learned that if kids don't want to be your friend, you can move on without them.
You have always been so super sweet and loving and caring, this has only grown with time. You are amazing Camila, don't ever allow anyone to tell you otherwise, but you already know this. You are faith-filled and at times far more understanding than me. You are very impatient, like me. You want things done now and no other way. You are a busy body and I can shift you from project to project. You don't mind doing, as long as it's something you want to do. You don't like cleaning up, you are a messy artist. You are a creative and thoughtful person.
You are strong, in so many ways. But, most importantly, you are loved. I can't wait to see you (and your brother) grow even more in days, months, and years to come. You are our Morenaza!
I pray for you to be beyond blessed all the wonderful days of your life...
::Momma Disclosure:: Post is partially sponsored, but all opinions and thoughts expressed are mine and true.
It's been a while.
I know.
Here is the thing about life and well in this post about birthday's. You really can't predict the outcome. A couple months ago I thought about a great theme for Cam's 6th Birthday. I wanted her to have a fun Spa day with her friends and then a dinner at our house with family. Well. Then life happened. Right around the same time in February when I was planning all this, I had a car accident. Semi-bad and somewhat costly. I have been in therapy for about 7 weeks now. Our truck was in the shop for about a week and the same day we picked it up, it broke down. Two-weeks later we still didn't have a car and more money was spent. Side note: Don't know how families of 4 or more survive with one car, we managed but it was hard. Kudos to you!
Then about three-weeks ago, I let go of the idea I had for Cam's birthday and decided we would wing it and just have something "small". Of course with a (big-fat) Mexican family you don't really get a "small" option but maybe a more contained group than usual.
My Husband and I started looking into our options and went for a family only dinner at our house, which would still be between 30-40 people or maybe 60. OK, so we had a small get-together for 60 family members, cause you only turn 6 once. HA. Prior to this I was asked by a PR representative for Nancy's Cake Designs, if I would like to partner with the bakery for one of my kids' birthdays. Since Cam's was first, I did just that. During the first few days of March, I worked with Nancy and her team to design the cake and figure out logistics. The bakery is on the SouthEast side of town, thankfully my Momma lives nearby in North/East side of Houston and was able to pick the cake up for me. But, trust me it was well worth it. Being an optimist, I told Nancy I would only have about 30-35 guests, but we had near 60. Still the cake was SO big, everyone ate cake and we even had leftovers!
I had envisioned something colorful and that fit our theme with Cam's birthday being, "Birthday Diva". Because, in case you didn't know, she's half child and half Diva, true story. If you follow me on "snapchap" (snapchat) then you know, she spoke one day on the subject and how her friends just call her Hollywood Diva for short. And, if you know Cam then you know, she is wild. Like no other. I don't think I could make up her personality. And, again if you follow me on social media then you know my children lack personality and imagination ::KIDDING::.
Anyway, the CAKE. It was perfect. My vision and what I sent over was embodied perfectly!
Nancy's Cakes was very professional, they messaged me, called and made sure I was very happy with how my cake details were coming along. I spoke to Nancy herself on several occasions, she is fully bilingual which helps on so many levels! And, the cake was not only perfect on the outside but the inside was equally delicious! We tried a nut flavored cake with strawberry cream filing, you guys, best choice ever. Visit her page for all the fun designs and cake options. The one cake that sold me, and if you know me you know why, was her UH cake! It's my alma mater and I love it!
And, as for life and birthdays, no matter how far off track things can get, or how lost you might think a cause maybe. It's truly not that serious and there is always a better and fair alternative or solution. Cam's birthday wasn't what I envisioned it to be this year, but we have many more with this little Diva so we'll get it right one day!
Either way, everyone loved spending the afternoon with Miss. Birthday Diva and she absolutely LOVED being Diva for the day!!! ::done using the word DIVA::
HUGE Thank you to Nancy's Cake Designs for making our day extra special and to our family who came and joined-in celebrating my little miracle baby!
P.S. Yearly Birthday Letter/Photo-shoot to follow.....
So, it happened. 35. It's here. In full effect. I turned 35 yesterday and my co-worker asked if I felt wiser. Truth is. I feel the same but deep down inside, yes I am wiser. My eyes are wide open and my heart is prepared for the world and years to come. I have over the years been extremely blessed to meet, to know and to gain friendships from wonderful and inspirational ladies. My circle changes constantly, not because I don't love all the ladies the same but because life happens. Our situations and circumstances take us in different directions. But, at 35 I know those women have come into my life, made a beautiful impact and moved on to do so much more... it's amazing. I love that feeling. Of having been a part of someone's journey. That's what I have learned in 35 years. Life is a journey. It moves, changes and evolves constantly. Nothing is a given and everything should be appreciated.
In 35 years I have learned balance. I have learned that some months I will have time to blog and workout and some months I won't want to do either, and that really is okay. You know why? The world keeps going with or without you. I have had times of great productivity when all I do is work, work, work and others when I veg-out on the couch for days at a time. And, you know what, my Husband loves me the same, my kids love me the same and the laundry pile, well, it's still there. Go figure. Balance and the ability to move on knowing that sometimes, dishes don't get washed, posts don't get posted, pictures don't get edited, and tasks never get completed. Life goes on.
Picture Credit: Ari of 3twentysix
Picture Credit: My Sister
Just in the last 2 weeks, I realized how much good I have in my life right now. Stability and being in a "good place" seems to be the thoughts in my head. Knowing that while our lives are not perfect and we might not have "everything" , we are happy. We are good. My career is in such a stable and good place, I love it. I haven't felt this way about a job in years. My kids are healthy and my Hubby is his same ol' sarcastic self that everyone loves to hate, or hates to love. HA. Our home, I always say, isn't an expensive super fancy place, but it's home and we make it work every day. In our own little crowded messy way. My kids love everyone and they are so happy and unique it makes me laugh, smile and cry all at once. We are blessed.
Honestly, "we have it all" without really having it all if that makes any sense. While we don't have big fancy belongings, we have one another and we are happy, we are blessed and we move forward. One of my Aunts, who has been there for me in many ways pointed out how happy we are as a family. How blessed Ricardo and I are to have an education, how great my parents are for being so supportive and loving and how no matter what we are always there for one another. That we do have. A happy family, supportive and unconditional love. Forgiveness. We forgive those who hurt us and move forward. We are real and honest about what we believe in and stand for.
That we have. Realness. Truth. You will always get that from me. Now at 35 and 10 years from now at 45, I will be real and honest. On to a new year of life and feeling overwhelmingly humbled by all the beautiful messages on Facebook, direct messages, texts and phone calls to wish me a happy birthday. It was an amazing one. My loved ones made it a special day and I am SO thankful. Always.
In the spirit of celebrating years of life, I teamed up with two amazing women Coppelia Marie who ran a special "Turning 40" series on her YouTube Channel. Coppelia is a former local DJ for a Christian radio station called KSBJ. Meeting her has been amazing. I have been a fan since I heard her on the radio years ago, meeting her and being able to call her my friend, is just mind blowing. Her featuring me on her blog for my Birthday is a true honor! I am such a fan and her message of self-love and embracing your age no matter where you are in life, is awesome!
Not only did I team up with Coppelia for her series, we both teamed up with Ari of 3twentysix for her awesome giveaway series, The Paper Files! Make sure you enter. Ari also filmed our video! She did an amazing job. Thanks, Ari! You can visit any of our pages to sign-up for the giveaway!
Picture Credit: All picture below by Ari of 3twentysix
::Solo Girl Chronicles is a series created by #Femmeboss, a mobile app and membership app for women only who are seeking like-minded and compassionate friends to connect with or meet locally. This blog post is part of the series. You can learn more on their website and find new friends.::
Age is nothing but a number. I know now how true these words are. I will be 35 in 19 days. And, I feel amazing. No joke. I stay busy, that's my secret. Some days are hard only because I take too much on. At 35 I have two children, a Hubby, a full-time job outside the home, a college degree which has allowed me to gain a career and a full life. I help run a group of local latina bloggers, called Houston Latina Bloggers and then I run this little ol'blog. 8 years and counting. I also do boot camp twice a week with am amazing group of ladies who have inspired me so much in my weight loss journey. And, currently, I am attending a class for local Latina's in Leadership, every other Wednesday. With the Summer in full effective we have gotten somewhat of a travel bug, nothing big just small road trips to explore new places in Texas and the U.S. for ourselves and mostly for our kids!
How do I do it all and how does 35 feel? Well, it feels like a whirlwind of emotions and really I sleep a lot (but not really) and my house is a mess. That's truly how I get things done. Half asleep and in a daze, not good, I know. But, I do what I can, I work hard and passionately and move forward. It's not how life has always been for me. I used to have a real life with friends and family that I helped and bent over backward for, over the years, that's diminishing. I now do things I love, things that benefit me and those things that will further create who I am and where I want to go. I feel that at 35, I can say these type of selfish things because for years I have not been selfish.
As I thought about what to write in this reflective post weeks before my 35th, I heard the song "Wake me Up" by Avicii. As I am a lover of words, I take the lyrics in and think about how turning 35 will change me, and how I have changed over the last 35 years. Evolved if you will. It's pretty dang amazing. I love learning and living my life to the fullest. Doing as much as possible because tomorrow is not guaranteed.
So wake me up when it's all over When I'm wiser and I'm older All this time I was finding myself And I didn't know I was lost
I have been through so much in my life that sometimes it does feel like a dream. I am older and wiser now and in the process, though at times I didn't know, I was lost. I have found myself. The last 35 years have not been perfect. I have had lots of sorrow, sadness, depression and made tons of mistakes, hurt so many people and been rude and offensive. I apologize to those who have suffered because of me. In return, many have hurt, used and offended me. I forgive them. None of this is necessary. But, I do it anyway, because of who I am, an apologetic person. My good friend Ari always tells me to stop apologizing and it's hard to change after 35 years. I have discovered that some will love me for that and others will straight up hate. And, that's okay.
At 35 I no longer care for others opinions and need to refrain from giving mine out. And, refrain from wasting words on those who don't care for them. It's part of my 35-year-old resolution. Stop giving advice when not asked. Most people will do what they want anyway, and that's okay. It's their life, not mine. It's something hard for me to comprehend sometimes, I always feel I should help or change the world. It's not really my job. I have children who need me and that's where the change and help will begin and end.
I tried carrying the weight of the world But I only have two hands I hope I get the chance to travel the world And I don't have any plans
So, I am turning 35. How does it feel? Pretty good. To know that I have survived on this earth this long, with minimal trauma and so much more to look forward to! At times, I do wish life would stop for a moment in time, but I have learned to live in the moment, to appreciate the time and to slow myself down to enjoy it all.
I wish that I could stay forever this young Not afraid to close my eyes Life's a game made for everyone And love is a prize
I have discovered that times of transformation come as do the seasons of life.
I feel that in order for overall transformation to take place you must be willing to go through it and you must want to do something that will help you transform your life. Transformation comes in so many forms; mental, physical, emotional, maturity, etc. We create our own periods of transformation and equally we can ruin our best moments of transformation by allowing our weaknesses or past failures to bring us down.
Lately, I have felt a great surge of transformation back to a place of true balance and peace. I decided months ago that in 2016 I would slow down. Start focusing more on life and my career. It's slowly coming together. The current season is one of taking it all in and learning from my past. I have so much to give thanks for. My children are both happy and healthy kids who love life and are so unique. My career is finally in a good place with a good company, I want to make a life where I am.
My Hubby and I have created a constant energy of evolution, we take in all the bad and good and move forward with it. No matter how bad things get we always manage to move forward, together. We are not perfect and do have many battles to overcome, sometimes daily. Arguments and attitudes flare, mostly on my part ::insert evil laughs here:: but it's fun. We have learned to live a life filled with daily arguments that make sense to us and a ton of humor. We are happy in our own little-twisted way and that's what matters.
As for my mind and body. I want to be strong and healthy. I know it will take time, I am taking it one day at a time. Some days are harder than others, as I hate movement after 5pm. But, I kicked off my boot-camp again, and it makes me feel great so I keep going back, week after week. Seeing other ladies progress and kick-ass is very important. I seek them in so many areas of my life.
Spiritually and mentally, my transformation is constantly changing and my brain is always thinking as to, what's next. I try and fill my mind daily with words and thoughts that will bring me new peace and happiness. I also listen to anything that will inspire me to have an open mind and creative new energy. Recently, the biggest area of transformation has been taking a class that will help further empower me as a Latina in Leadership with Mujeres de HACE. The connections I have already made have been amazing. The learning and thought process on a week to week basis has been even better!
Taking this time to myself and improving who I am as a Momma, as a career-driven woman, and as a person, helps me transform daily into who I want to be. I turn 35 next month and the word transformation has just stuck in my head and on my tongue for the last week or so. I know that the experiences in the next few weeks will help me reach that next level that I want my life to be at.
I want to always take the actions needed to transform my life, not just for myself but for my children, husband and family's well-being. It's so important to evolve and grow, far out of your comfort zone and into that next season of your life...
A little more about Camila. You know the little 5-year-old sassy pants that lives in my house and has more attitude in that itty bitty skinny body of hers, than anyone else I know.
Sassy, yes. Attitude, yes. Bossy, Oh hell yes. Confident, pretty much. Capable, yep. Will she one day be taking names and kicking ass, I hope so.
I don't know where the last 5 years have gone but I am sure they are now lost in the infinite tantrums, eye-rolling and cussing; I mean me not the 5-year-old. Well her too, a little. Camila came into our lives as a surprise. Yes, an unplanned pregnancy! ::insert gasps here:: When I found out I was pregnant again, I cried. Mostly tears of fear but they quickly became joy and happiness. I was scared senseless, though. My son was 10 months old. I had a horrible first pregnancy which ended with an even more horrible C-section. My Husband was a full-time student, working internships and traveled. I was about to be promoted to Assistant Supervisor at my job. I was sure the second baby would be the end of me, and guess what although the pregnancy and delivery were very similar, it was SO much easier the second time around.
How was Camila Isabel named? Well, there is this Mexican group named Camila, and when I become pregnant with Santiago they were a thing. Only I was having a boy and not a girl. So, when I became pregnant again and found out, this time, it was a girl, we knew Camila would be her name. Isabel? Well her Daddy is in love with Brad Pitt, I mean over the moon infatuated, will he hate me for saying this? Yeah, pretty much. But, it’s totally relevant to my story. Where was I? So he loves Brad Pitt. He also loves his movies, one very unknown to me was Legends of the Fall, in the movie a gorgeously mixed Native American/Caucasian little girl named Isabel Two grows up to become a gorgeously beautiful mixed Native American/Caucasian woman who marries, yep, Brad Pitt. She is killed in the movie and it's a horrible tragic love story. My Husband loves drama so he loves that movie and Isabel Two, so Camila is Isabel too.
{By the way, I have been crying the whole entire time I am typing and I can't see past my tears. This is sure to be an ugly cry moment by the end.}
Dear Camila,
The last 5 years have gone by too fast, before you were born I wasn’t sure what to expect. Now that you have grown you are exactly what I hoped you would be. You talk for days on end. You love everyone so much, until you are angry and then we are the worse family on the face of this earth. You have a fierce intensity about you, your focus at times is tremendous. Sometimes, too intense for me. But, we manage.
Your imagination is truly awesome, you have entire conversations with your friends over a fake cell phone. You take fake selfies and text or email people while you blog and “do wo-k”. You sing in the shower which we will catch on video to further embarrass you one day. Your song selections go from the Contemporary Christian songs you hear at daycare all day to Love yourself by Justin Bieber. Who you know is Selena Gomez’ boyfriend. You have no clue what you say sometimes but you repeat it all with such conviction, you would think that you really know about Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber’s drama.
You have now been a ballet dancer, a soccer player and currently a baseball player. You love and want to do it all, until you actually have to do it all, then you are ok with quitting to do something else. You are good at baseball. You are tall, with straight tangled hair and those long skinny legs are all the rage! We love you so much.
Since you have your brother who is now in Kinder, you too want to go to Kinder and want to do homework, ride the bus and go on field trips. Because well you love Santiago so much you want to be like him and with him every day all the time. Him, not so much, except when he is trying to protect you and make you happy. In which case you guys are best friends.
You have a ton of “best” friends, who you get over daily and then become their friends again. I guess that's how pre-school and 4-year-olds roll. You would think that you are a teenager, your thoughts are deep and your drama is very real.
You are very smart and remember people names and then ask about them randomly. You are very crafty and love to learn. You are very thoughtful, and remember things like people birthdays and likes, and on their birthdays, you want to buy them everything they like. We don’t but you would love to.
You love bright happy colors like pink and purple, because you are that happy cheerful little girl. Everything about you is girly, which is beyond me, I am not really that girly. You love nail polish, make-up and pretending that you rule the world. You are strong, and brave. You fight with Santiago and have become very tough over the years, sometimes a little too tough.
You are always sick, or so you think. At school, they call you sickie-wiki. You love being pampered and babied. Yet you are very independent and have learned to do everything Santiago does in half the time. Especially the talking. That you have down packed. You are a little Diva. You love to look pretty and wear dresses but hate brushing your hair or your teeth. Even when we threaten that they will rot and fall out, you don’t care or believe us.
You are loved. No matter what. So much. By so many of us. Don’t forget that. Ever. You tell me all the time that Jesus is in your heart and that we should not be scared. I tell you to please hold on to that. This world is not easy. Some day you will have to work hard for what you want and hold on tight to what you believe in. God will be with you.
I want you to grow up to be a courageous strong warrior who will one day rule the world. I want you to be who you are. I want you to be as strong and confident as you are today. I want you to believe in yourself and not depend on others to validate your abilities. You are strong, you are capable and you will be a warrior. These are things I tell you when you come home sad that your “friends” are being mean or don’t want to be your friends anymore. I remind you that not everyone has to like you or be your friend because that’s the truth.
I am a little harder on you some days and it’s only because I want you to do well in life. We don’t sugarcoat in our home, we tell it how it is. You and Santiago are very much the same way. Honest and raw. We love it.
And, we love you too. So much. Always remember that.
June is a bit important in my life, since it's the month I was born. Back in 1981. My birth story like most is an eventful one, filled with emotions and I kind of left my Momma in a coma. No worries. It ended well. 34 year later; my Momma and I are very well alive and determined individuals. We survived birth and birthing, we have literally lived through hell with family turmoil and now we just appreciate every moment and work hard for a wonderful future.
Since then I have graduated college, got married and had two beautiful children who these days create interesting days and sleepless nights.
I am happy and blessed to be turning 34 this month, considering.... I should have never made it.
June thankfully brought some sunshine in Houston. We have had some pretty devastating floods across Texas in the last couple of weeks. I am glad the month started off well. The sunshine helps me thrive.
June promises to be busy...what are you up to this month?
{Birthday Letters are kind of a big deal for us, you can read the yearly series ::HERE::}
When God blesses you, it's always to the fullest. Santiago was only 10 1/2 months when I found out I would be a Momma again. I cried, in fear. Another baby. I couldn't possibly do it. My plate was "so full" already. Months later we found out we were having a Girl. Oh boy. The tears were new. Happy. Blessed. Joyous. My heart was full now. Our family complete. Our lives made new. Never would I have thought that I would have the amazing little Princess Diva that runs our house today.
A letter to my daughter on what the last 4 years with her have been about and who she is today:
::Dear Camila::
Today you turn 4. You act like you are 13 year olds and talk for days. You love to dance. You make the silliest of faces. Your favorite things are dancing to Bruno Mars-Uptown Funk You Up and Maroon 5-Sugar; as well as making your brothers life impossible. It's good, keeps him on his toes. He is rough and you guys fight a lot but he loves you so much. And, you admire him. I pray this continues.
When you throw fits {and oh my do you throw fits} he is the one that helps calm you. It works sometimes. He does his best. You love wearing makeup, dressing up and nail polish {lots and tons of nail polish, in every shade of pink}. You asked just this week if you can dye your hair pink. Don't know where you get all of this from but it makes for interesting days, and it keeps me on my toes. You are very girly. Very.
You love dresses. But you also love dirt. You are super sweet, caring and sensitive. But, you can also be feisty and tough. You speak "Spanish" when you want {it's usually a cuss word or something you shouldn't be saying. Totally our fault.} and claim that your Brother is SO Mexican. Not sure what that makes you.
You love everything Princess and you act like one too. You love your GranPa Chuy. You love your teacher and you even wear your sweater around your waist like her. It's hard to see you in pain or when you are sick, because you are so tiny. The last 4 years have flown by. You are no longer my chubby little baby, you are now my skinny long leg baby.
You finally, yes barely {no judgement please}, moved on from your "titi" and are now a "big gurl" and drink from a Sippy. It took me a long time to allow you to let go. I had to. You look crazy with a bottle.
You have the funnest dance moves, you care very little about what others may think of you and you are most definitely yourself. I don't ever want you to think that you can't be yourself. I want you to know that you should above all love who you were created to be. I want your confidence to grow, I want your little wings to give you the energy needed to be who ever you want to be. I want you to follow your dreams. Never allow others to tell you otherwise. Be yourself.
You are stubborn. A lot. You want things done your way. You are competitive. And, you are outspoken and not shy. I don't want that to change. But, I do want you to use your personality for the better, for your own well-being and to become a strong, confident grown-up.
The last 4 years have been a heart-filled life lesson and one of the biggest blessings God could give us . The light and colors that you bring into our lives shine brighter everyday. I pray that you continue to shine. That your smile grows and remains, that your heart is soft but your eyes wide open. Don't be naive to the world around you. You are smarter than that. Don't go with the flow just because, have a purpose and reason.
Your laugh is contagious. You are our little baby no matter what. And, always will be. We love you. So much. Much more than you can ever imagine. I know that right now, you don't like that I have so many rules, that I am constantly watching what you do. Or, that I might push you to try even though you want to give up. You will thank me later in life. I hope.
You are everything we could have ever wanted in a perfect little Princess baby. And so much more.
God has filled our home with amazing love. {You and your Brother are the life of this place..without you we would be nobody.}
On September 16th...5 years ago after about 24 hours of awesomely painful labor my life created a full circle. Our Son was born. This is his yearly birthday letter. {for more on Santi's Birth-story click ::HERE::}
My Beautiful Baby Santiago,
On this day, I love you, I cherish you and I am so thankful for you. I cannot believe that you are 5 years old, it was only yesterday that you were a tiny chubby baby cuddled into my arms in a hospital bed. Your tiny heart beating with mine, your tiny hands and feet so soft and precious. You were a baby.
Today, you are a handsome little, eye rolling, back talking 5 year old with so much attitude. Talk about a personality. None of this is meant out of ill feelings; you are only 5 and still learning your ways, and yes you are a little stubborn. A little spoiled. And, know very well what you want.
But you know what? We love that about you.
You don't allow anyone to push you around or tell you what to do but you are also respectful and kind when needed. If you do feel pushed around you are quick to let us know that we are being "mean" or your new word, being "bullies".
You are smart and imaginative. Creative and a story teller. You love to dress up in anything "Mexican" like your GranPa Chuy's black sombrero and anything "Super-Pee-Row" related.
You know your Bible stories and can tell them to us in one breath and as if they all happened at once. You pray for us all every morning, especially for GranPa Chuy and his missing teeth. {sorry but they are still missing}. Your prayers are usually so thought-filled and genuine, always far more than I except.
When you want to be, you are the absolute best older Brother, protecting and caring for your "Sis-der". She loves you so much. To her you are the best in the world, no matter what.
You are my warrior, my strength, my courage. You live life on the edge, as much as a 5 year old can. You live life to the fullest. It's contagious. We admire that about you. You never have a bad day and even when you do, you manage to turn it around or simply fall asleep.
You are full of energy and light. Your heart is pure and growing healthy and strong. You have no real fears, except for cockroaches. Those you hate.
You are playing soccer {or "staulker" as you call it} this year and even though on most days you claim to be "scared" of it only because you want to rush home to your I-Pad {which is really mine} to watch YouTube videos! But, no matter what you end up giving it your all and loving it every time we go to practice. You are like this about most things...all or nothing.
Some days you are all about the "feelings" and everything we say causes you to cry, other days you have the attitude of a teenager. As your parents we are learning with you. How to care for you, how to love you and how to be there for you. You are at times more patient than us.
You love pizza like the Ninja Turtles. Right now you want to go see the Boxtrolls even though no other kid your age or adult knows what that is! You love watching cartoons and playing with ALL your toys at once. Yes, fun times, our house looks like a toy store blew up, every.single.day.
You have a great imagination and can create a whole war in a matter of minutes on the living room floor or play a businessman who has very important work to do and just cannot be bothered.
You have a pretty awesome life, and so many people love you. I hope that you never forget that. I pray that you can appreciate those people who are in your life and who have been there for us from day one.
One of your favorite people in this world is your cousin, Olin. You love to dance and your "body just moves on it's own", especially when the telenovela theme songs come on. Your dance moves, well they are pretty awesome and I think.....you get it from yo'momma!
You are amazing. You are beautiful and you are and will forever be our baby. Until you get too old and have to move out of the house..just sayin'...
People say I am a dreamer... oh yeah and a little crazy and ambitious too.
I am.
And, like August, September has so much meaning. In 2004 it was a difficult eye opening month for our family. It was never ending and hopeless we almost lost my father to addiction a situation my family doesn't take lightly. Our story was written, our lives were changed....then 5 years later a complete 360. Hope, faith, life, rebirth. My son was born {Sept. 16th}, he was the light, the tie, the sign of good that we all needed. And, my father, like everyone else...fighting to live life once again, taking charge of his life and regaining his family.
Not only is September my Son's birth month, it's also the month that was honored with my Momma's birth {Sept.26th}. That same woman that experienced life in the most painful way and today is the only reason why I never, ever, EVER give-up. Her and my son are part of my motivation. My inspiration. My reason. My faith. My life.
It's also Hispanic Heritage month, AJUAH!!!! {September 15th-October 15}
Every month since May I have told myself, I am going to take a break but I only take on more projects and more collaborations. And, I am tired but you know what I wouldn't have it any other way! I don't know where this road is leading me to but I am running it and I can't give up now.... or ever...
My Momma always says.... "Si vas a hacer algo, hazlo bien!" Which is probably why I never give-up on my dream for this little here blog, which is why I believe in being consistent and finding time for my priorities!
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