Beautiful Purpose :: Social Share:: Work/Life Balance

This past weekend I partnered with Danelia who just created a new project called Beautiful Purpose. Her events are called Social Shares and it can best be described as interactive sharing of personal experiences with women who have similar lifestyles, or not. Women from all walks of life joined us and from various age groups and backgrounds. We talked about work-life balance, and what that means and looks like for each of us as individuals. We discussed our most recent struggles with achieving this "balance" without losing our identity as women, as momma's, as wives, as entrepreneurs and just as who we strive to be. 

As someone who suffered early on from depression and anxiety and ultimately had to quit my job due to a massive panic attack. I shared about those things and what I have learned along the way. Here are some of the top lessons that my past situations and emotional hardships have taught me. 

My personal key lessons as a working momma of dos with high anxiety and depression complications:  

It's OK, to be an “OKAY" Mom. –  You don’t have to win at everything. Being average is OK. As someone who has always needed approval from others to proceed in life, being average was not a good idea or a concept I could grasp. I was absolutely overcompensating for something else that happened to me in my childhood, most likely with my parents. Now that I am a Momma knowing that my kids love me more than life on my best days the same as they do on my shit days, is so life-changing. In their eyes, I am not just OK, I’m amazing. So, if being OK for them is ok, then, I AM OKAY with that… I am really. It’s taken time to get here so it’s easier said than done to not care what anyone else will think if I am not perfect. But I no longer care about those judgmental (more times than not my own judgment) moments. 

You don’t have to win at everything.

It’s ok to say NO. - We can't do it all. Sure, we can try, I have tried for many years but the burnout is real and my family needs me to be at 100% to get things done.  FOMO. The fear of missing out was real. Truth is, you won’t be missing out on anything. Being ok with not being everywhere is very important. Saying NO, to those things that are just fill up my calendar and have no real meaning or benefit for my family, or purpose; are no longer a priority for me. I realized that what’s truly important is ME, who I am and what I want. My kids, their well-being and being able to provide for them. And, simply being there for my immediate family, mostly for my husband, and my kids.  So saying NO to things that don’t serve those people closest to me or my purpose are no longer on my to-do list. And, that is so freeing. 

You can try to do it all but you will over exhaust yourself.

Don’t forget about YOU! - We do SO much for everyone else it’s so important for yourself to be happy, to be fulfilled and to want to do for others. But first, you have to do MORE for yourself. If you aren’t happy then those around you will also suffer. As a Mexican-American momma, I learned from women like my mom and my aunts and grandmothers, that we do for everyone else regardless of how we feel. This is for sure a cultural cycle, that I decided years ago I could not continue to allow. The moment I decided that my needs, wants and passion comes first I realized that it's the best life I can live. So in 2013 I regained my sense of self and purpose and decided that while I love my children and husband, I would always work hard to be the best ME. To do more for me and never look back. Do I have momma guilt? Eh. Not anymore. (MAYBE) every once in awhile but once I realize how much certain things mean to me and how happy they make me I get over it. It does take time to get to this place and it's a very energizing experience. 

Cause it's true if Momma ain't happy....ain't nobody gonna be happy! #sorrynotsorry 

Refocus, reprioritize and move forward. - Have I had a perfect, happy, me-filled life for the last 4 years? No, not always or ever. But, when I notice that I am not doing enough for me and that I am getting lost in what everyone else wants, I tend to back away from it all again, hit reboot and start over. I know the feeling of hitting rock bottom, why would I want to be in that place again of unhappiness and bitterness. Where I am my own lowest priority and my focus is on the outside world. That is no way to live. The best way to regain this focus is by joining women at events like the one we had on Sunday. Where like-minded women who are willing and ready to invest in themselves are and who can help you realize that you need to get back on track. 

In all, I have learned that my happiness matters just as much as everyone else's.  It's sometimes hard for us to see things but you don't want to be in a bad situation trying to find your way out. It's always better to be preventative with your self-care and self-love! 

Trust me, you will love yourself for it! 

To learn more about Beautiful Purpose with Danelia, 

please follow her social media and 

visit her site:  http://beautifulpurpose.me/

::Being a Chingona has no age:: What I am teaching my daughter about being a badass + Sew Bonita review!

::Momma of Dos:: All opinions and statements are my own, items in posts have been provided by www.sewbonita.com in order to provide a review. 

Growing up my Momma instilled in us; hard work, a good education and oh yeah being a complete and total bad-ass or Chingona. I grew up knowing that this word was something to be reckoned with. And, it was used often in our home as a sarcastic view on something we had done that we thought we could get away with, like "ah, que chingona me saliste!" HA. HA. HA. My Momma was not one to hide her feelings, she has always been outspoken, strong and independent. We were not taught to be meek or hold back, we were taught to be ourselves, and others had to take it or leave it. Flash forward to 35 years of life, marriage, a college degree, a career and Dos littles. Chingona? 

For sure. 

I had a recent conversation with Elena of Sew Bonita, and it inspired today's post. Completely. We both had very similar views on being a Chingona and where we get our inspiration from...our Momma's. 

What and how am I teaching my 5-year-old to be a Chingona?!  Let's begin. 

1) ::She is Encouraged to be Herself:: I tell Camila that it's ok to be herself. She is a spunky, bright, and very happy child. She loves everyone and isn't scared to be herself. She talks. A lot. Like me. She has always been unique and specific in the way she dresses. She isn't scared to stand out. I encourage this. Because she should be allowed to be herself in a world filled with so many people trying to be like everyone else. She steps outside everyone's comfort zone, especially mine and I have learned to embrace it and let her be. 

2) ::She speaks her mind::  Camila, like many children, is outspoken and truthful. And, although those truths are sometimes embarrassing and painfully true, we encourage it. I want her to always tell others how she feels and what she thinks is right for her. To be bold and speak her mind the way everyone should! Sin pelos en la lengua, and oh trust me this little girl will speak her mind. No matter who you are or where she is. It's scary but freeing as a parent to know that she will one day be able to stand up for herself. 

3) ::No Fear:: I am teaching Camila, that although as a parent, there are many things that frighten me she shouldn't be scared. She should try new things, be adventurous and never give up!  I know there are fears in many aspects of life and sometimes you just have to follow those gut feelings and do those things that scare us. At the end of the day once we have conquered our fears we realize that the only thing standing in the way was our own self-doubt and not really fear.  

4) ::Be Fierce:: I am teaching Camila that it's OK to be girly and strong, and smart and hard working. Being these things come without an age requirement. She can be fierce and stand her ground even at 5 years old. Her presence is known and she makes it known. Like a true Chingona, she lets people know she has arrived, SO MOVE. I love that about her. She sometimes claims to be shy but I quickly encourage her to be herself to stand out from the crowd and lead.

5) ::To be a Leader, even if that means you stand alone:: One thing that always bothers Camila is not having "friends", early on I taught her that she can do anything she wants, even if that means doing it alone. She won't always have friends and with growth and doing great things comes a certain level of "loner status", and that's OK. Camila knows that even although some days its a hard concept for her to grasp. I have had her come home from school and say, "Mom, today I played on the swings all my self and it was fun!" or "Mom, -so&so- said they didn't want to be my friend and I said, good, I don't care." Because in this world she will have to learn that some times no company is better than bad company. 

And, still, Camila is only 5 years old, although she has a long way to go she is still a fun love-able little girl who is slowly forming her own attitude and perception of being a Chingona. I hope to constantly influence her in the right direction! 

About our "Frida is my Homegirl" t-shirt: Special thanks to Elena of Sew Bonita for providing this t-shirt and inspiring this post and mini-photo shoot! You can see all of her latest creations and collections HERE. Also, the t-shirt has very soft and comfortable material, it's in a small and the print is just uber inspiring. We love Frida Khalo in our house, she is the official Mexican Chingona and we are so proud to wear items with her on them and love what she stands for and represents. All of Elena's collections are very telling of being a Chingona in 2016 and I am proud to have collaborated with her.

Come back later in the week to get to know Elena and an exclusive on her connection to the late Selena! 

VISIT SEW BONITA, PURCHASE AND RECEIVE A 10% DISCOUNT WHEN YOU ENTER MOMMAOF2 AT CHECK OUT! 

::Top 10 Motivational/Inspirational Songs:: Momma Edition

When I am looking for daily motivation or inspiration, I often listen to either podcasts (one of my favorites is MFCEO), Ted Talks (Love them!) or a variety of music.

On my sad days or days when things don't seem to go right I listen to radio stations like KSBJ here in Houston. Their overall message is very motivational. For years, I have listened to KSBJ. And, the other day I realized that since I started listening back in 2001, the morning show has been very important. Not only because of my long commutes and the need to listen to good-positive radio, but also because of the dynamics of the morning show hosts. The hosts are usually male and female, parents and non-parents, but their dynamic over the years has been similar. They work wonderfully together to uplift, to encourage, or provoke deep thought as well as to make you laugh. I have fallen in love with every pair of hosts and truly appreciate a good morning radio show.

Mornings are so important because they set the mood for the rest of the day. When you don't feel great and no on else has told you that everything will be okay or that your day can turn around, motivating messages like those on the radio can help change your mood.

Here are my current top 5 KSBJ motivating/inspiring songs, there are so many others but these I love. You might recognize some of the faces from American Idol.










Then, of course, the girl power has got to flow! My top 5 female empowerment songs.

::Qualities of a Good Leader:: #IKSH

Lead by example. 

It's simple enough but once you are in that position many things can go array. The best opportunities to learn for me have come by surrounding myself by other women in leading positions. 

Last week on, Wednesday, April 27th, I know Somebody Houston hosted it’s annual Firestarters event to a packed house of women leaders at a local bar and restaurant, Ladybirds. With amazing Firestarters such as Misti Pace-Krahl Founder of The Mommie Series-Houston, Dawniel Winningham, Founder of Wealthy Sisters Network, Sharon Lee Zapata, Founder of The Bitchy Business Briefs & The Zapata Group, Tikila Adolph, Founder of WTF - Winning Through Fitness - The ADOLPHs & Lee Brochstein, Founder and Chief Editor of J-Vibe and myself as Co-Founder of Houston Latina Bloggers & Founder of Momma of Dos. There is no doubt that we were all "moved, inspired, redeemed, and ignited." - Victoria O. Garcia of IKSH 

Victoria O. Garcia of IKSH {Picture credit} 

When I look at these women I think of leadership and being a good example. I created the following list of the qualities that I feel this group possess. And, I am honored to have been able to stand with them side by side and have shared our stories of courage and inspiration together.  These ladies have given me a new sense of purpose and life. Filled me with motivation and beautiful words of encouragement. It's not east to lead a group and sometimes you get stomped on, but these ladies reminded me of why we do what we do and reminded me of HOW we do what is needed to get ahead. 

1) High Standards- It's easy to see when you meet these ladies that they have high standards for themselves and the way they conduct business. It's so important, it helps you be accountable and helps you create a specific type of brand that is committed and dedicated to working hard. 

2) Strength- Every woman I have met and that I continue to connect with have amazing strength. How do I know that because I have listened to their stories and know what they are capable of. It's empowering. 

3) Willpower- One thing that I have learned is that when there is a will, there will always be a way. When you show others that you can do those things that maybe you yourself didn't think you were capable of your willpower to succeed shows. And, others will love that and are more willing to follow you. 

4) Drive- Saying you will do things is easy, but having focus and drive to make things happen, that's a whole other ball game! Stepping it up to that next level is what creates impact in others, being the example and leading in that example of doing as I do, not just as I say. That's true leadership. 

5) Goals Achieved- Of course, everyone has goals, but these goals need to be reached. These ladies have stated months, maybe years before that they would have or do certain things to be their own person. And, when you meet them they have taken the steps needed to reach their goals and have achieved them! 

6) Open to Criticism- We don't like to be told when we are wrong or how to correct things, but these ladies have all had this type of criticism. And, this is the type of people I want in my corner, not always agreeing with me or telling me I am great; because that will never bring growth. People who are honest and open and can tell me how it is, because then I will learn from my mistakes and perfect my craft. 

7) Willingness to Share- We all have to start somewhere, and being able to share what we have learned along the way is a big step into creating other women leaders. I have met many amazing ladies willing to share their processes and methods to succeed. Becoming my mentors and giving me insight into how I too can be successful this is always great to me. It's proof of confidence and uniqueness.

8) Adaptable to Change- It's so important to be adaptable to change, nothing will always remain the same, if it does, then you have a problem. Change creates growth and learning experiences that can help you overcome situations. Being able to see those changes and embrace them is highly important to most every entrepreneur I have met.

9) Shaky Past- Great leaders are created by their past, sometimes those past lives have not always been great. I think that having a shaky past is what creates the adaptability to change and the willingness to help others. My past is not the best which is why I never think twice to give a helping hand in whatever that might be! Not saying everyone must face adversity to succeed, but sometimes having that perspective helps us better connect with others.

10) Empowerment- Every lady I met last week has an innate ability to simply empower, to make you feel like you can go out and follow your dreams and better yet achieve them. This is the type of positive high that I love. Feeling that sense of self to achieve anything I want. A great leader will make you feel this way. It's my goal to make others feel this way, because I have been there and the feeling is immense.

 Pictures Courtesy of IKSH 

My goal is to create leaders, to be surrounded by women who are on the same playing field as me, who are my equals. It's the only way to move forward in a positive direction. Empowering women to grow and learn what they need to succeed.

Not to divide and conquer but to unite and succeed! 

::Why Zootopia is a must see for your Family::

A feel good, all-around family friendly movie. It's what Zootopia is. And, a little truth of how conditioned my brain is. An ugly truth at that. I had no clue about this movie or what it was about, my son saw it on his first movie field trip with his class last week but I had no clue. I knew it was about a bunny who wants to be a cop, confession I thought the bunny was male. Why? Becuase it's what my brain is used to. A dumb assumption on my part, I know.

But, the movie did not disappoint. We went Sunday early afternoon since we had $5 tickets to Studio Movie grill from Groupon and they were about to expire. And, even though my son had seen the movie the rest of us had not. He tried not to spoil too many parts, exept every part he remembered as the movie played. I feel this movie captured it all, from some of the best God Father references to Shakira's hips that don't lie.

A "far-fetched" (My Husband reminds me, it's a cartoon, Connie.) child's movie, about a bunny cop, Lt. Judy Hopps, who believes anything is possible. Then proves that, yes, with respect, bravery and confidence ANYTHING is possible if we simply try. Trying and never giving up, believing in yourself and acceptance of all "animal" (human) kind is an eye-opening message that in a way brings forth the truth of current reality. While it might be easy to sometimes fall back into "old habits" that might seem, "biological" or nature driven, truth is we have evolved and we can and should move forward into a better world. Yes, a world that is messy and requires work but one that is worth hustling for!

We loved the movie. Adults can learn so much. Great lessons to learn for the whole family. We laughed even after the movie was over. The topics were all very fitting of the times we live in.

::My top 5 reasons for loving Zootopia::

1. Female Empowerment- Lt. Judy Hopps is a beautiful, strong and brave female bunny who will not give up on her dreams. What a perfect message to send to all little girls and children as a whole, that they can be anyone they want to be. And, a perfect reminder to us as Mommas to continue to feed those dreams!

2. A message of Acceptance and Inclusion-  Zootopia is a city where everyone is welcomed and accepted. The reality is that we must move forward together, as humans, to make this world a better place! We must accept those around us and know that we are ALL capable of great things!

3. Be Brave and follow your Heart-  I know that we are all born with special talents or skills, as my Cami likes to call them. We also all have a specific and unique purpose to fulfil, with an innate nature to do those things that need to be done to reach our goals and simply be ourselves. Part of being brave and filling this purpose involves listening to your heart and following it, where ever it may take you. Zootopia reminds us of such a wonderful heartfelt message.

4. Never Giving up!- Success isn't always about winning. You will fail and what's important is that you get right back up and push forward. Judy Hopps wasn't the best at everything but with hard work and constant dedication she proved herself to be a very worthy cop regardless of her size and what others thought of her because she never gave up.

5. Being kind and standing by your friends- Being a good person and backing up your friends are simple rules that will take you a long way. Supporting and believing in those around you when others don't believe in them, makes you a great friend! Building lasting friendships that revolve around trust and honesty is important for anyone as they grow.

I hope you get to see it with your kids... just a great overall family movie! Will definitely be buying this one!

::How can you empower YOUNG women:: #SXSW

Music Keynote Speaker and First Lady Michelle Obama. Photo by Neilson Barnard/Getty Images.

Powerhouse women. That's who was united on the stages of SXSW this week. Powerhouse people, artists, creatives, and doers. As a Momma, as a Woman, as a Writer. I am affected and fully inspired by these types of events.  One of my favorite panels was Let Girls Learn Panel. Moderated by Queen Latifah. It was composed of the most epic Boss Lady/Tribe ever. Michelle Obama, Queen Latifah, Missy Elliott, Diane Warren, and Sophia Bush. I mean who wouldn't want any of the ladies sitting on stage in their corner and it got me thinking... who do I have in mine?   

You know who I keep in my corner? Women who love me and support me. People, who believe in me. People. Who want me to succeed. Those people who will look at me and be real, who will say...yeah you are crazy but go for it! I have people in my life who are honest and hurt my feelings but love me. I have people in my life who inspire me, motivate me, push me. I have people in my corner who keep me humble and remind me...it is NOT that serious. And, who don't take me for granted. I have people in my life who allow me to be me, who allow me to miss dates or rescheduled appointments because I have a family. I have people in my life who don't create more drama and issues for me but instead, help me solve issues and give me solutions.

That is what this panel brought to mind. How can I feel empowered and in return empower the younger generation of women? More importantly, how can I empower those young women in my life, especially my daughter! 

LET GIRLS LEARN PANEL: the FIRST LADY was JOINED BY MISSY ELLIOTT, DIANE WARREN, SOPHIA BUSH, AND QUEEN LATIFAH

"Find your passion, turn it into Action! Support your Sisters!!" -Queen Latifah

Equal rights is the work of both men and women. 

You can't look to other for a change...."Change happens on the ground!"-Michelle Obama

• Never give up
• Work Hard
• Nothing will ever be handed to you
• When others tell you, you are a nobody, show them who you are and MORE! 
• Don't let anyone hold you down. 

Powerful women, empower women. 

How can you help empower young ladies in your life?

1. Be Involved- Volunteer, advocate, and support those organizations that will help young women achieve the dreams and create an impact. There are so many out there, locally and nationwide. The one presented in this panel was #62MillionGirls 

2. Tell them they CAN- Your words can make a huge difference. Encouraging young women, mentoring them and telling them that they CAN be the difference everyone speaks of, is a very important and powerful part of the puzzle.

3. Be the example- As most things happen, we must show others what we are capable of by leading and being the example that young women need. You do have to lead by example.

4. Instill an education- I say it all the time and I know that many great people have not needed schooling and are self-taught. But, when a child is taught that an education can change their lives, it helps them grow with that mindset. I want my children to know school is an option. And, when other children want an education and can't get one, then we should take advantage of that and run with it.

5. Give them options- Just as I mentioned before, we want our children to know that they do have option. If a 4 year degree isn't for them, maybe some other type of certification or enrichment programs can be obtained. And, always letting them know that they can follow their dreams by taking different paths.

6. Inspire their dreams- In that same sense, we want to feed our children's dreams, support and encourage those dreams. I want my children to know that they can do anything they want, as long as they put the work in and become educated in what they want to do.

7. Let them be creative- Allowing young women to freely express, to be creative and to know that they can express their dreams through different outlets.

8. Help them find their voice- In the same sense of feeding young ladies dreams and allowing them to be creative, we can help them find their voice through mentoring and exposure to different resources.

9. Help them produce change- And, like with anything else you want to help young ladies and walk with them side-by-side to help them achieve their dreams. Providing resources and information they need to grow and learn.

10. Be the change! -  We cannot move forward without truly creating change, unless we create action and do those things that we say we are going to do! That's what it's about.

http://www.sxsw.com/

::Weekend Snapshots:: Link-Up with 3TwentySix & The Reinvention of Jessica

When we created Houston Latina Bloggers the group was meant to join together local Latina writers who really wanted to engage their readers and simply be part of a culturally unique group. I feel that the purpose has definitely evolved and changed over the past few months. We seek to not only bring together local Latinas who love to write and are true social media influencers but also motivate and inspire all women to feel empowered and share their unique voice. I hope that over the next year we can further grow this sense of community and share even more. 

In the meantime, the ladies that form the group are extremely wonderful and motivate me to keep moving forward in our direction.

I couldn't do anything or make things possible without my fellow co-founders, a huge thanks as always to Ariana of 3TwentySix and Jihane of OnixJ. While I have been seen as the face and "voice" of the team, the ladies who run all the behind the scenes are incredible and truly nothing can be done without them. Their support of my somewhat out there ideas has been great and I truly see them as my Latina Tribe who have been here for me through this amazing venture and journey. Our own community of constant support and love, it's so important to what we do, to always support one another. 

Oh, weekend snapshots. Right, so this past weekend was amazing. We had a great event with amazing women involved. Wonderful sponsors such as Kroger, CHI, Define Hair Studio in Spring, Thinking Girls Boutique, and Pollo Tropical.  Two make-up artist Sylvia and Jannette, as well as three very inspiring speakers.

First up was Dr. Kelley Watts, a local family therapist who spoke on how we should not allow our inner demons to take charge of our world, and instead we should conquer them one day at a time and be confident in who we are.  Then, came a personal favorite, as she is my boot camp trainer Maggie of Texas Fit Chicks. She spoke about how she isn't the typical young trainer and how her weight struggles led her to where she is today. She confessed to having a cheat day and how she creates balance in her everyday workout routine by also indulging in those things she loves. She spoke about being motivated as a fellow Momma of Dos and growing into her true purpose. She is an amazing motivator and person. Finally, my good friend Sharon of the Bitchy Business Briefs told us a little about her daily activities keep her mentally and physically healthy and young. How she doesn't want to necessarily be young again but knows the importance of feeling great at whatever age. How embracing your age and learning to care for yourself has given her new life.

All the ladies had such wonderful stories to share, that I feel they impacted us in many ways. They gave great insights into how our overall well being affects our everyday lives as women. How negative thoughts affect our inner beauty which in return affects what we feel like and look like. And, that we should really focus on ourselves to be strong and healthy because in the end if we aren't well our lives show it and our moods can be altered in a not so good way!

The rest of our weekend was spent, with friends, resting and eating great homemade food.

{This is a Link-Up with 3TwentySix & The Reinvention of Jessica }