Showing posts with label Faith and Religion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Faith and Religion. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Developing Self-Worth {Faith}

I will always be the first to admit that it's been a challenge to transition from years, and years of working crazy amount of hours, crazy amount of jobs in a crazy work environment outside the home to working crazy amount of hours, crazy amount of jobs in a crazy work environment inside the home. Ha. It's true. As someone who has worked outside the home their entire life, I prayed daily to become a Stay@HomeMomma, now that it has finally happened it's been, well. Yes, Crazy. 

Stressful. Overwhelming. Unexpected. 


I didn't picture the demand, the job itself, and the amount of patience it took to stay home with a 3 year old and a 2 year old. It's been chaos. Every day a little better but definitely a new challenge as the days go by....if that makes sense. Finding a balance has been difficult but slowly I am finding a new pace of life, a new schedule and my niche within my home. 

The balance is found in preparation, growth and learning from your mistakes. I believe being pampered on the outside can be just as important as being pampered within. When we make a change to our exterior being we feel great on the inside; proud and loved. When we make a change on our inner being, it shines through to the outside. I think people notice when you get a haircut but they notice even more when you have peace and happiness on the inside.

prayon


I am what I like to call an "open-minded non-traditional Catholic". I understand all the values and morals taught but I don't like to limit myself to one set of strict views because I feel that you can miss out on something so much bigger and so much more amazing. I believe in a true blend of the old traditional views mixed with new forms of worship of praise. A balance. Never one extreme or the other. 

In my almost 32 years of life, I have always "been" a Catholic. It wasn't until I turned 24 that I knew what having faith was. It was then that I not only opened my heart but my mind to new ways of thinking. I knew I loved praying to the Virgen de Guadalupe and that I believed in Jesus and the Saints. But, the traditional way of worship and praise just didn't fulfill this seeking and thirsty little heart of mine. I dove straight into my church and became more involved that is when I started to find new ways of worship and praise that weren't the traditional nights of praying the Rosary. This time I was deep in meditation and peace that only God could bring me.

I would sit in a quiet dark church and ask Jesus to sit with me to show me His light and guide me. And, as crazy as this may sound many, many days His presence was there and I had peace and a new sense of belief.

These days. I attend mass and read my Momma Devotional Bible {Mom's Devotional Bible NIV} and I also pray day in and day out for different reason. I wear medallas de Santos and light candles. I also attend events at different churches that I know my soul will benefit from, not always Catholic churches and I definitely enjoy it. 

Just this weekend I attend the annual Women's Event at New Hope Church in Pearland. It was my 2nd year attending and the message was awesome last year it was about Marriage and Relationships. This year it was about us; as Momma's, Wives, Daughters, Sisters, etc. We are all human and we all make mistakes. We can't please everyone and as Women we need God in our daily lives to guide us and lead us onto the path that He has planned for us. I Loved it. I know I will definitely make it a yearly event. Plus, I  got to spend time with my Beautiful Amiga Yvonne from Spanglish Girl which is always fun! 

Friday, December 14, 2012

{El Dia de la Virgen de Guadalupe} #tradiciones

As the years begin to pass and celebrations come about I am thinking that November/December will be one of our favorite seasons! There is so much to do, so many traditions to hold near and just so much love and hope in the air.

One thing that I know for sure is that as the time passes and the kids get older I have come to realize that what I want most for this holiday season is to make it a memorable one for OUR little family of 4! As selfish as that may sound, I want my kids to know that when times were tough and situations came about what mattered most was US; my Hubby, my Cami, my Santi and myself.

Because when the kids think back and look at our memories together I don't ever want them to say; my parents threw huge fancy Christmas parties with all their friends and family....I want them to say... that we had a humble, happy, loving, gathering with Jesus in our home; even if it was just us and our faith and love for another. It's what my little heart is yearning. For my children to know that the reason for the Holiday's is because Jesus was born and our lives were saved. Because, we are Mexican we have HUGE celebrations when it comes to Birthday's and other life events, but when I grew up, the Holiday's were about prayer, coming closer to the One who was born to be our Saviour. We did this through celebrations like; las fiestas y misa del Dia de La Virgen de Guadalupe, las Posadas, la Noche Buena, y Navidad. I don't remember HUGE fancy parties. I remember prayer, family and awesome food...las bolsitas, los tamales, las piƱatas! These are my favorite memories growing up. Playing with my cousins on cold winter nights after almost 2 hours of prayer...my Grandmother was intense! Ha. And, a lot of love and faith being planted in our hearts.

Which is why, when it comes to traditions and celebrations I try to make them count and make them memorable. Every year more and more!


cami and vigren



dia de la virgen2



dia de la virgen


Sunday, November 11, 2012

{Evil} & Prayer

I like to think that my Blog is a happy and positive space where I can be Happy and Positive.

But, life is not so.

In general, I know what being Blessed and praying entails.

But, truth is.

I also know the opposite of that and it's not a happy or perfect place. I embrace life and all that comes with it. I have lived through the worse of my days,most people wouldn't even imagine it. Trust me, I don't live a fairytale life and darkness has lived in my heart....

I didn't get swept away by a knight in shinning armour into a "Happily Ever After" like zone... I was loved and cared for by my Husband who after 14 years has NEVER left my side...to this day we fight the battle together, with the help of God, never alone. We have come to be in this place, we were not born into peace and faith, we have learned to live this way... it's a place where we both find happiness and joy. A place where positivity reigns and life is abundant.


We have lived through some dark days... but we will overcome and Jesus will take us to that place... I am reminded of this awesome lyric from one of my favorite songs: "Then you look at this prisoner and say to me "son stop fighting a fight that's already been won""

 
The following is the first ever contribution from my Hubby to my Blog:

"Evil lurks and we stand near it. 
If faith is strong we shouldn't fear it. 
And, for those who choose to walk the devils path. 
They will answer & suffer God's wrath."

I personally Love it. 
But, it does come from my knight in shining armour. Husband and partner in life..so I have nothing ill to say... ever. 

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

{Band-Aides} & Election Night

My son is under the impression that a Band-Aid will fix everything. 

Will heal all. 
And, will protect him from pain. 

If only it were that easy. 
As an adult I know the truth
Truth which I can't allow to overwhelm me 
even on my worse days... 
Truth that one day will be Victory. 
Truth that is peace at times of chaos. 

Today. 
I pray that your band-aid is present. 
That your healer is truth and that God can create that 
peace that no physical band-aid can ever create. 

Truth is. 
God is my band-aid and HE is my Truth. 
I am not perfect.
But, still I know that 
He has never doubted me..
even though sometimes..
I have doubts about it all. 

I am attempting to do this whole writing a post a day thing for a whole month... 
I have only missed one day so far...and like with everything else in life...
I will NOT give up. 
I will not allow pain to over come or overwhelm...
and I will move forward no matter what. 


Oh yes, AND it's Election Night. 
Where was I, 4 years ago on Election Night, ::HERE::... ::HERE:: and then ::HERE:: and ::HERE:: .....

Saturday, September 8, 2012

{Mid-Life Crisis} or Not...

I know who I am...

Cheesy beyond repair
Faithful without doubt
A little over confident
Dramatic; Fo'sho'
Talkie and Loved
Impatient
A Momma of Dos and Wife to One
Blessed
Loud and outspoken
Truthful and Bold
An Overthinker {this is getting better with age...}
A true friend
Gosspiy {workin' on it..LOTS!}
Loved
Forgiven
A hopeless romantic
An optimist with a dark side
Emo' at times
 Happy
A fatty girl who loves food {did I say LOVES food...cause I do}
a Dreamer of BIG HUGE dreams!
Someone with a Past {at times very sad}
A survivor at best
a Sharer
A storyteller
a  writer
a creator of crafts
A dancer at heart
giver
caregiver
provider
supporter
A Daughter
A Sister
a mover and shaker....
I make it happen...
no matter how hard it is to stand...I do
I am a defender of those people, places and situations that I think need me
I face reality and stand up for what I believe in.
I voice it all and leave nothing at rest
I am a pusher
I am a critic
I know I can be a nag
 A Believer
Jesus Follwer
Bible Reader

Trust me. 
I know who I am.


I am not sure what all my brain, heart and soul have been going through lately  but I do know that God has been hard at work...for months now... the clouds are clearing though and everything that was murky and dark are now looking bright and clear!
At least I think so....

How can it be that at 31 I still feel...lost? Am I am not where I want to be? Does life have more for me? Maybe I should stop while I am ahead....

But, seriously. If I feel this way at 31, I definitely don't want to feel lost at 41.
I would want to have my life in place by the time I am 40 and my kids are older...
I don't mean perfect.
I just mean, well adjusted and settled....stable and established.
Happy and fulfilled.

I know.
Trust me, I know how Blessed I am.
I have TWO amazing children.
I have an awesome Husband. I have a great family and a good job.
What else do you want Connie?
You can't have the world...I know this.
I don't want to loose myself because I am constantly seeking better....
I simply want life to be LIFE but better... Ha.

No pues no quieres nada!

Yo se que....el que quiere azul celeste que le cueste...
but how much is it ?
Cause I am more than sure that I have paid it in full and then some!
Ha.

Or maybe not but it sure does feel like it....



Monday, August 1, 2011

The Adjustment Bureau {Movie Review} Double Post Monday

{I don't think I have done this lately, or really more than a couple of times....BTW, I don't get ANY type of compensation for doing this...It's just for fun!}

SO!



Matt Damon.


NUFF'SAID!

Ha. But no, really!

And with his wife...


I mean...seriously...AH-MAY-ZING!

Ok, done now. 

What movie?

Oh yes, yes. {Ha. Ha.}

This movie was more than amazing. And, not just cause of the above mentioned.

This movie. This movie.

Wow.

Purpose, Fate, Free will.

God, Angels..and did I mention Matt Damon?

My Husband and I sat down after a LONG week...a LONG week...A crazy couple of days and exhausted as an understatement and said....we may just fall asleep. Less than half way through the movie we were hooked and by the end of the movie. We wanted more!

I am not even kidding. Ricardo wanted to know what others thought. If I thought the Catholic church would approve.

This movie just affirmed our FAITH in Christ and HIS PLAN and PURPOSE for us to the HUNDREDTH power!

Without spoiling the movie...

We thought it was a Government/Mystery/Thriller... but OH.BOY. Were we wrong. It's a GOD/Divine Purpose/Faith-seeking/THRILLER! {It does have some politics involved but it just affirms the movie as a whole!}

The movie discusses Angels and God's plan for our lives...and the role that fate and free will plays in it all.

I loved it.

My Husband loved it.

We needed it.

It just reminded us that we ARE here because of HIM. That the choices we make will affect the outcome of our lives BUT that when we make GOOD choices those that God tugs at our hearts with constantly, then we can change the course of our plan but ultimately HIS plan is working and moving right along!

It's a romantic LOVE story.

Definitely not for children, as it has strong language and some sexual content...

But, for mature, Faith-seeking adults..I think a TOTAL MUST!!!!

I totally. {We totally} Give it an:

A++ For just being truly amazing!



Wednesday, July 27, 2011

~Praise and Worship Wednesdays~

Today a man let me in front of him in traffic....

I couldn't help but notice his shiny silver Range Rover....

He was a well dressed man...with nice sunglasses, probably pricey....

He seemed to have a good job; with what his appearance was and the nice SUV he was driving....

But still...I couldn't help but think..."I wonder what problems he has?" {Not in a sarcastic way but in a truthful way....}

Just because he seems to have an awesome life...doesn't mean he does....

No todo es lo que parece.... {Not everything is what it appears}

Many of us hide our deepest sorrows and fears behind expensive shades and fancy cars... but truth is...

We all have sorrows... we all have problems....we all have pain....

Our struggles may not be the same..but they are there none the less....

My devotional today read like this:

New mercies every morning,
Grace for every day,
New hope for every trial,
And courage all the way.~McVeigh

This is true... Courage all the way....

This man...like myself... walked out of his house this morning despite the sorrows, looking very stylish and MOVED forward... he like many of us is going through this journey of life.... WITH COURAGE.

The courage it takes to move ON....to MOVE forward!

I hope you too will move forward today filled with courage.....

Psalm 30:5
    For his anger lasts only a moment,
but his favor lasts a lifetime!


Weeping may last through the night,


but joy comes with the morning.




Thursday, June 23, 2011

[30 of FAITH]

This one took me a minute.

I couldn't find my older Bible:


30 Bible Verses that have gotten me through my 30 years (Really more so the last 6 years).....

1. Philippians 4:13

2. Psalm 23

3. Psalm 27

4. 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 {Read at my wedding...}
5. Proverbs 31 { My inspiration}
6. Lucas 1:39-45

7. Matthew 9:29-30
8. Juan 4:43-54
9. Luke 15:11-32
10. Marcos 9:24
11.John 3:16
12.Genesis 18: 1-10 {Gave me hope while trying to have children}
13. Psalm 1
14. Psalm 3
15. Psalm 6: 1-3
16. Psalm 22
17. Psalm 31
18. Salmo 84
19. Psalm 90
20. Psalm 91
21.Psalm 103
22. Psalm 104
23.Psalm 131
24.Psalm 139
25. Psalm 143
26. Psalm 144:4,6,8
27. Psalm 145:8,14
28. Salmo 55:11
29. Matthew 25:31-46
30. Luke 10: 38-42 {Side notes: We worry and do all the wrong things. The one right way is the Lord's way. Don't worry about petty things when he is teaching you LOVE, LIFE and HONESTY.}

I have so many others tagged and so many notes, but they are VERY personal.

During my time with my old Bible, 6 years ago, I was  going through a lot with my parents.

Their marriage was in GREAT despair. Hence my obsession with Psalms {and with having a Faith-filled family of my own}.

Psalms, was my favorite book during this time. 

I pleaded and cried out for help almost every night since I was 13. It wasn't until I was 24 that God came into my life and that He showed me that if I cried out to HIM...nothing was impossible and everything was possible.

At 24 I truly came to Christ and my life has changed very much since then. Not perfect but just right. I've learned many lessons and life has definitely hit me hard, but I have always managed to wear a smile. Not because of me, but because of God. He has guided me and I continue to follow Him closely. Yes, I still making mistakes but learning each day how to be a better me.

A little hint when reading the Bible, that I learned at 24:

You set a time and place a side for you and Jesus to talk. How?

Just like you would with an old friend who you want to catch up with. You find the right location, where no one can bother you and where you can give that friend your undivided attention. You make sure it's comfortable and quiet. You set up a candle that will remind you of the constant flame that Jesus is within your heart. Then you start your conversation by saying; "Jesus, I am here, ONLY for You. To listen and give you my undivided attention. I am yours. Please give me peace and understanding so that Your Word can fill my heart and every empty space in my soul." Then you start reading your favorite verse...BUT slowly. Calmly. Taking in EVERY word. Listening to God. Really capturing His unique message for you. Once you are done reading, you sit. Close your eyes and listen to Him, for Him. His Word will fill your life with that light and that wholeness that NOTHING and NO-ONE else can give you. 



It's an amazing feeling. 

I hope you can relish in this one day.

This is my new Bible, which has started my Momma journey with me: 

Friday, March 11, 2011

Seemingly Perfect.

It's a lie to think that we are perfect.

We are not.

At all.

I have never been one to even remotely express or act perfectly.

I am human. I make many mistakes. I've said it a millions times...my husband is not always polite, my son doesn't always match and me..I am not ever perfect!

The fact that my husband and I have decided to be and do things in certain order and with specific purpose...doesn't make us perfect. We have been through a lot the last 12 years, together and as individuals. Never loosing sight of either fact. While we were still living at home we realized that there were individual "monsters" to tame, with our respective families. We "resolved" and agreed to leave behind those issues and "monsters", behind us not only the day we moved in together, but also 8 months later when we met at the altar. It's written, and I say it to young couples all the time. Ricardo taught me after we moved in together and got married that we could no longer be slaves to those "monsters" and problems within our former families, because now we had a family of our own to nurture and care for.

Married or not, life as a live in couple doesn't work until you resolve that, that life is only about 2 people who rely on God, you and your significant other.

At first this didn't resonate or make sense with me, the way it may not make sense to you.

My mom was a "single" mom for many years; I, being the oldest took on many, many, many roles; assistant provider for my 3 younger siblings, emotional supporter to my mom, over-all make things better for my family person, acting as a friend to my mom, mom to my younger siblings, sister to my siblings,student, employee and then some. Life was not easy. I endured a lot with my mom, good and bad. It was her and I through think and thin. But, she understood the day that I moved out and more so the day that I got married that I had to be everything I was to her but for my husband now. That her problems and issues had to be handled to the best of her ability. She was not selfish and never attempted to hold me back from becoming a completely, devoted wife and now mother. She understands my role and I appreciate that respect and the space that she has given me to develop my marriage in His eyes and for His will and purpose...so that now, as a grown woman..who seeks Faith and Wisdom, I can once more be her friend while she is my mom.

I am and have always been there for my mom as she has been there for me..but just as she once left her family to seek a family of her own..I left mine. It has made me stronger and wiser and allows me new perspective to handle new situations.

Respect. Space. God. Two People. Faith. Open Heart. Obedience. Honesty. Love. It's what it takes to begin a Faith-filled, loving, devoted and committed Marriage of Two.  {I THINK}

This is all random talking. I am on a journey this Lent season to resolve, seek and share.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Plain and Simple.


God, heavenly Father,
look upon me and hear my
prayer
during this holy Season of Lent.
By the
good works You inspire,
help me to discipline my body
and to be renewed in spirit.

Without You I can do nothing.
By Your
Spirit help me to know what is right
and to be eager in doing Your will.
Teach me to find new
life through penance.
Keep me from sin, and help me live
by Your commandment of love.
God of love, bring me back to You.
Send Your
Spirit to make me strong
in
faith and active in good works.
May my
acts of penance bring me Your forgiveness,
open my heart to Your love,
and prepare me for the coming feast
of the Resurrection of Jesus.

Lord, during this Lenten Season,
nourish me with Your Word of
life
and make me one
with You in love and prayer.

Fill my heart with Your love
and keep me faithful to the Gospel of Christ.
Give me the
grace to rise above my human weakness.
Give me new
life by Your Sacraments, especially the Mass.

Father, our source of life,
I reach out with joy to grasp Your hand;
let me walk more readily in Your ways.
Guide me in Your gentle mercy,
for left to myself I cannot do Your Will.

Father of love, source of all blessings,
help me to pass from my old
life of sin
to the new
life of grace.
Prepare me for the
glory of Your Kingdom.
I ask this through our
Lord Jesus Christ, Your Son,
Who lives and reigns with You
and the Holy Spirit, one God, forever.

Amen.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Porque? {Why?} No really...Porque?

Why do we do what we do?
Why do we say what we say?
Why do we behave how we behave?

I have recently taken some "time"...for a Blog-cation....and I was thinking...why the quiet time....why?

For me. I remain quiet and out of sight for A reason...for HIS reason. For His purpose. For His Glory.

Sometimes we just need the quiet, the peace, the time away from those who you usually talk to ...to listen TO HIM!

Sometimes I just need to get away from the "busy-ness" of the "Social Networks", they are a true distraction from Him. Not to mention, if you let that get too out of hand...well you end up regressing {stuck, the same, and without true change} instead of progressing {for His will, His purpose, His Glory} ...does that makes sense?

Balance. That's all. Balance. Priorities. Real Priorities.

So, the silence and away time. Is much needed.

Also, I am very much in research mode. HA. I keep saying that, but I have started answering the Top 10 New Mommy questions and the research is going GREAT! If I do say so myself.

{Just a little update... I do have some baby updates and belly bump pics that I will post soon..not sure when....now back to my Blog-cation...hahahaha.}

Luke 10:38-42 (New International Version)


At the Home of Martha and Mary
 38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”    41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one.[a] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Friday, January 14, 2011

A Friday Re-cap:

It's funny how some weeks, silence {from above} seems to reign. The last couple of weeks, not noise...but clarity speaking.

Trying to re-build, re-organize and move on in this new year...I love it really.

This week I received my usual daily blog post from one of my favorite Faith Bloggers.

She spoke about "parking her mind" in a "beautiful place".

I thought.


I too want to park my mind in a beautiful place, I think it's the best way to think of it. All day our minds run wild but to just be still and "park" it in one place. That ONE place that matters; God, Jesus, our Lord.

I love that thought.

The verse that she used to help her park her mind was:


“And now I will show you the most excellent way.  If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal,” (1 Corinthians 13:1).
She also mentioned that she "lives free from regret and with clarity of heart, mind and soul."

I too want to live free from regrets and have this type of clarity {and PEACE} that she speaks of. But, I have realized that if my days go unfocused and do not focus on HIM, then I loose all clarity and peace and fall back into the trap of noisiness.
I don't like that very much.

So, I will attempt to remain:

FOCUSED
IN CLARITY
PARKED
AT PEACE

And simply trusting Him!

My Favorite verse this week was:
“Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track. Don't assume that you know it all.”
Proverbs 3:5-6
"Wow, perfect."

 

Thursday, January 13, 2011

A Continued Growth and Shaping ♥

This past weekend my husband and I were very Blessed as we were able to Baptize our son. It's been a long while over due. We wanted to have him baptized soon after he was born but one thing in life led to another and it just didn't happen. We finally got all of our ducks in a row, well kind of {Ha.}, and were very Blessed to be able to follow through.






One of the topics that our priest spoke of was our responsibility as parents to instill Christianity in our son as a result of being active Christians ourselves. As a human being...I often fail at this...all on my own. I know that for me the only way to continue down the path that the Lord has set up for me is through His guidance, and of the Holy Spirit.


I grew up Catholic. But, was never really a "practicing Catholic" and if I was, it was never proper, I've often fallen back into that selfish and stubborn trap and find myself seeking His guidance and Grace once more. It's my constant reminder that if I was in a certain place it wasn't becuase of me...it was all because of Him! So, this year as I share my days with you, I also invite you to join me in this journey of FAITH, and share my Faith with me. Who knows something that I am learning and attempting  to apply may be to your liking as well.


In the past I‘ve judged too soon.
In the past I’ve spoken to quickly.
In the past I’ve been stubborn.
In the past I’ve been humbled.

We all deserve a second chance. We all have the free will to act gracefully, this I know. I pray for God to give me all of the necessary tools for my life to head towards a more purposeful direction, for HIS purpose and HIS will!

As part of my learning, I will be looking up different words that will be helpful in my journey. Words that all though I may use them everyday, I have to learn what they properly mean in order to apply and use in my everyday the way they should be used!

Here is my current list:
discernment :
The ability to judge well
(in Christian contexts) Perception in the absence of judgment with a view to obtaining spiritual direction and understanding
grace:
Courteous goodwill
(in Christian belief) The free and unmerited favor of God, as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings

free will:
The power of acting without the constraint of necessity or fate; the ability to act at one's own discretion
Now, I don't know how often I will Blog about my progress but I will and I hope you will follow me on this journey!


Please feel free to comment and jump in at any time; I appreciate all input!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

~Praise and Worship Wednesday's~

I haven't done a P&W post in a while....a long while..I think God was working and then all of the sudden said...."Ok, now"....

But, not as in..now you are ready, or now you are done, or now you can go on and tell em' how it is....more like...

"Ok, now....we start over and re-think everything, re-learn everything, re-arrange everything in that bitter little heart of yours back to what and where it should be.... Now....you can breath....Now...you can have, at last, that much needed peace that you haven't had in a long time!"

God is always in the mood for change. Realistic and sincere change. Not like, today I feel good and tomorrow..eh not so much.... I mean..change like....today I feel peace and tomorrow my goal is to feel it again!

Just last week I was having a tough day..which I expressed to my GF who later that night texted me..she said she was praying for me and then shared a Bible verse with me. Well part of my Non-New Years Resolution was to pick my Bible back up on a daily basis..until that night, I had not started, SHAME on me, I know! Well, because I told her how I felt, she inspired good Faith in me and God gave me good will. That night regardless of what my son was ripping apart, breaking or tossing across the bed; I grabbed my Bible read her verse and then on to ALL those notes and verses I had previously tabbed....



I realized:

Number one, WOW, I haven't done this kind of deep soul searching or "questioning" of myself in a VERY long time! 
Number Two, WOW, I used to be in SO much pain for the same reason and now that reason is better {My parents}, PRAISE GOD!
Number Three, I want. I want this again. I want to read and be in awe, have an answer and NOT be swayed! I JUST WANT IT ALL AGAIN...AND YOU KNOW WHAT..."HE WANTS IT ALL" as well!!! 

If the video doesn't appear below, click HERE!

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Monday, January 3, 2011

Holiday's {Christmas and New Years!!! Whoo-hoooo} Hello 2011!

{ Christmas }


All I wanted for Christmas was P.E.A.C.E. and I am NOT usually one to avoid situations or confrontation but it seemed that for this Christmas to have P.E.A.C.E., avoidance was the way to go. God knows why, I will not question at this time why He does what He does. I will simply obey and move on.

We missed my Hubby's family on Christmas. Don't get me wrong we Love them all dearly and we are sad that we missed them, next year will be different. I pray for this to be true! So, no dwelling on this now and instead moving forward and praying that God will continue to guide and illuminate our path for His Peace and for His purpose!!!!!


Christmas night we went to Ricardo's Aunt's house but unfortunately got there tooooo early and missed all of my Husband's family but we had to make it back to my Mom's house on the other side of town...where I missed my Sister because she too had to be somewhere else on the other side of town....that's life. We are all growing and evolving into our own families, there maybe a year when we miss everyone all together...not saying anything but we have hopes that one day my Husband will be transferred for work purposes to a new place...where we can further grow away from both our families and evolve as a family of soon to be 4! (God will know IF and when this is good.) Ricardo and I pray that this can one day happen. ::sigh:: Moving on. We spent the rest of the night at my Mom's where Santi got to open presents and where Cami got her first Christmas present ever.... it was a great night of feasting, prayer, thought, peace and Love!


Ricardo and I did great and stuck to our "Christmas Budget" we only got Santi 3 gifts, and he ended up sharing them all. But, the Lord is bountiful and He gives in abundance; He has provided our son with so many Loving people in his life, so he did receive other presents from my friends and other family members! {Thank You so much for being soooo amazing and in our lives!} He was amazed by them all, has been enjoying them all and we are simply Blessed to have so many great people in our lives!


We may not be able to repay the gesture now but we Love you and give Thanks for you being in our lives everyday!!! We hope that like us you too enjoyed Christmas and had a VERY Blessed experience!

Here are some pics from Christmas Eve and Christmas Day:








To be continued.....

Thursday, December 30, 2010

From 2010 to 2011

The past year has brought many, many things; good and bad...I embrace them all and look forward to another amazing year....

In this last year I have experienced:

  Jesus in my Life and Heart
A Husband who provides and supports 
A Blessed, Happy and Healthy Son
 A Blessed and Healthy Daughter on the way
  A Beautiful, Happy and Healthy Nephew
 Love
Peace
Happiness
 Accomplishments
 Affirmed Faith
 Long lasting Godly Friendships with Great Women
An Enduring Family
 A stable job
 Warmth
 Celebrations
 Praise
 Prayer
Strength
 Wisdom
Patience
Appreciation
 Acceptance
 Further Understanding
  A Caring heart
  Compassion
  Un-Answered Prayers {But for Good Reason}
  Life
Joy
Smiles
New Life
New Girlfriends
New Blog Readers {Ha.}
Confidence
Trust
Pain
Heartache
Growth
Responsibility
Sadness
Anger
Comfort
Survival
Foundation
Loss
Hugs by tiny arms
Kisses from Blessed lips
A listening ear

I am seeking a new year filled with...

Reconciliation
Confession
Repentance
Structure
Reality
Grace
Further Growth
Hope
Love
Security
Future
Humility
Respect for myself and others
Tenderness
Obedience
An Open heart
New experiences over all
Lasting Faith
New Friendships
A renewed Heart
A brighter smile
TO SHINE like God wants me to!

May the new year bring you and your family MANY Blessings!

Thank You for an amazing year and welcome 2011!!! We are ready for you!!!!

With Faith and God ANYTHING is possible!!!!!!







Friday, December 17, 2010

Downsizing (Part II)

I didn't think I had so much input about this subject but I think it's important to know our story, our situation and our reasoning. I may be helping someone gain perspective or simply realize, you are not alone!

Needless to say, Ricardo and I had very different mindsets and were in a "bad" situation.

Well we made it through 2008, again Ricardo is very money savvy. He had savings, 401k, and got unemployment for 8 months. He then landed a job with Baker Hughes. He was unhappy there and after a year and a week before my son was born he found himself hitting that unemployment line one more time. This time, with more insight as to how it would all work out. We now had to factor in our son, the extra person to care for. So, we downsized even more! NO worries here. I was already used to it. What does that mean? We don't just spend. And even though it may seem sad to most; we have not done Birthday, Anniversary or Christmas presents for myself or Ricardo in the last 2 years. You simply, do without. At this point. I don't miss it. We have a Blessed extended family and amazing friends who give us their endless love and support, which is what God wants us to focus on right now.

So, today it's December 2010, we have had a rough and very, very meager last 3 years. Still we manage and even as penny pincher's we managed to afford to do enough and have just enough. I really don't mind that I have been wearing the same pair of shoes for over a year or that I haven't bought a new outfit in over a year, that I clip my own nails and avoid the hair salon... It's NOT that bad...I can do without! Trust me. I know how at this point. We know how and we pull through!

In watching this TV show; Downsized, I made the following observations:

  • That at times the Mom was more spoiled than her children! She was the one unable to control her urge to spend on that super expensive cup of coffee....You know which one... I mean it's great coffee but seriously, some self control is all is takes.  
  • That SERIOUSLY all it takes is a change in attitude! Yours and your spouses; you have to be on the same page...at all times and at all cost.
  • That we have to remember that our children resemble us. They mimic who we are and what we do, all the time. Surprisingly in this family though the Mom was very spoiled and of their 7 children, only 1 had the Mom's attitude; he was expectant; expecting more and more and more. Most the other kids made the needed sacrifices, understood what it meant to make them and dealt with it in a healthy manner. 
  • The part that upset me most was in an instance when the Mom had to tell their 10 year old daughter that she couldn't participate in all of her usual summer activities; such as Cheer leading and Theater Camp; she had so little self control that she cried in front of the child. It kind of gave the idea that it was ok to be overly upset about loosing materialistic things. I didn't agree with that. She should have held her composure and could have cried about it later. The Mom stated that she was sad that her kids didn't have the life that she had grown up with. She had money as a child. Well as an adult we must be the example of sacrifice. I think.
  • The Mom then turns her frown upside down and creates a job for them all to help with; House Cleaning! And, although she states that it was "demeaning"..I would have chosen the word humbling but in the end; she was taught a very valuable lesson and her daughters were there to help her get through it. They all learned the value of earning a good dollar, even the Mom. I loved this part.

In the end the lessons I learned were above all; Communication, Love, Patience, Budgeting and in the end some alone time to relax and knock all the stress out is never a bad idea!


BTW: I like the show but am just taking the good from the bad and applying it to how I am learning things in my own life! If you watch you will learn that the family is a combined family; Mom had 5 children from a previous marriage and Dad had 2. The Mom has MS. The Dad is an unemployed Contract Construction worker. Their story is one to learn from.  

Thursday, December 16, 2010

I Can Do WithOUT...CAN YOU? (Part I)

Seems like these days everyone is talking about FINANCES. What to do, what to do? With so little money and so much to pay, buy and get! Well appropriately enough, while I was in the Hospital I saw a show on WEtv called: Downsized.

I am sure a million people have already gone, "THAT'S AN OLD SHOW!" Yes. Well you see, we don't have cable in our home. In many ways my husband and I have taken on this "Downsized" mentality even before an "expert" has to remind us, that it's always good to "Downsize"!



My husband worked for 7 years at the same job. He NEVER thought he would leave that job, at least not until he graduated from college which because of ..ohh I don't know...LIFE...he has taken a little longer than most students to complete.

Well, in 2007 after 7 years the company was sold and guess what, hundreds were laid-off. Laid-off? My husband's mind and world were blown away, he had not been without a job since his teenage years. He was now; 28, still in college, with a mortgage and thoughts of starting a family! Well everything was placed on hold and he set out to finish school and find a new job. At that time, we cut back on a lot. No more parties at our house, no more expensive dinners, no more yearly vacations, no more of  a lot...how selfish and dumb of us to wait for a situation like this to happen to change our mind set! We were humbled to say the least. "Everyone" around us was "moving on up", doing and being. Or so we thought. Here we were, stuck and down about money. ABOUT MONEY? Wow. Needless to say it changed our entire perspective about everything.

I didn't grow up rich and neither did my husband. I have stated in the past that I took my first job at 14 years of age. I cleaned houses and office buildings during my summer break with my Mom and Aunt. All the while my Mom would tell me, "Ya ves, por que te digo que acaves la escuela y que pongas atencion...para que no acaves como yo!" ("Do you see why I tell you to do good in school and to not loose focus...so you will not do what I do for a living!") And yes, I did finish school. I have a college degree but these days, even that isn't enough.

My husband grew up pretty much the same as I did. With very little but just enough! Even so, we both had two VERY different mentalities; mine was "If you have it spend it!", his...not so much. He is a very wise money decision maker. He always has a savings account ...WITH MONEY IN IT [Ha.] and looks for a good bargain... me..not so much... and then we got married. I quickly adopted his money views, he is usually right about money! Another thing that we differed in was about our children. Before we got married, I always said.."I am going to GIVE my children ALL that I never had! And, that's that!" Wow. How selfish on my behalf! To negate my children of learning about selfless-ness, about hard work and good ethic, about earning your way!

I now know that the best way for my children to become wise money decision makers is NOT by giving them EVERYTHING I never had; but by treating them as if I can't give them everything and reminding them that hard work is the REAL way to earn your way in this life. It will hopefully and God willing make them more money conscious and selfless as well as make them humble and Godly human beings.

I didn't always get what I wanted when I was young, and we didn't always have what all the other kids had! But, we never went without food, shelter and love.

When I started working and making money I thought, let me use it up and go crazy, huge mistake! I was quickly in debt and broke!

I didn't get the correct money education, thankfully God knew that and He placed the right man in my life...who would quickly knock me off my high horse and remind me to clean that floor until my finger nails bled to earn my way through life!

It sounds harsh but I appreciate it very much!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Woe Me! Or NOT!!!!


The perfect Christmas Tree. In the perfect home. With the perfect Christmas dinner and the perfect night! The perfect season and the MOST perfect reason!

Obsessed much?

Maybe.

I was SO caught up in making my life appear PERFECT...on paper. Upset when everyone didn't follow through. Upset when MY imagination had run wild. When MY perfect family was just average. And then. Reality. Uhm excuse me, We ARE  NOT PERFECT! My husband can be a grouchy old man. I am at times a NAGY wife! And my son...well he runs wild most the day!

I had gone to my PERFECT friend [Ha. Sorry. I must stop.] who is great at taking pictures. Upset. About NOT being perfect. About my husband not matching with us on our PICTURE PERFECT day! About how I WANTED this photo shoot to go. About how we were "suppose" to LOOK PERFECT.

::Arms folded. HUGE POUT:: 

And then, reality. This is who we are. NOT PERFECT. Not always matchy-match. Not always smiley and happy. Not always obedient and polite! We are not perfect. HE is.[Jesus. He is.] He is the reason why we are here. Why I have a HUSBAND. A man who provides for me, who consoles me, who communicates with me, who hides nothing from me, who never holds back and tells me how it is! HE is the reason I have a Lil'Daddy; ACTIVE, WILD AND LOUD! As children should be! HE is the reason why I am awaiting my beautiful Lil'Momma to enter our world. To love. To hold. To have and be Blessed. We are NOT perfect. And, I am done thinking that we should be. My FAMILY. MY FAMILY. My husband and my children. We are not perfect but we are in Love, we are Blessed everyday with life, we are together, we care, we share and are NOT perfect! I love GOD. I love my husband and my son and my daughter. 


Why are you going on and on about this Connie?

Well, one person made me realize that; we are WHO we are. We are not always a super happy family, with a perfect marriage and perfect children. We are not trying to be "exposed" today and secretive tomorrow. We are who we ARE. Blessed. In Love. And in the end, NOT PERFECT but happy!   

In talking to my friend Yvonne and her upcoming photo shoot with my amazing friend Casey Ayala of Dream Tree Photography; she told me how her husband wanted to wear a baseball cap for their shoot. She told him..."You don't wear baseball caps." He said but Ricardo is wearing one in their photo shoot, she said..."YES. But, he wears baseball caps!" And, like in MANY talks with her before, it hit me... YES...My husband does wear baseball caps!!! That's who he is! [ Thank You Jesus for always bringing the right Godly Women into my life at the right moment, when I need to hear and listen to you!]

I was blinded expecting us to be perfectly matching, somewhat posy but natural, smiley and picture perfect, BUT it didn't happen for us. [In my mind....Perfect!]   I needed to realize that Ricardo, he simply doesn't like pictures. He even told Casey at the beginning of our shoot. And, during the shoot he told me, "You are not my favorite person right now!" [ In so many words, HA.]

And, you know what?

I wasn't my favorite person at the time either. Blinded and wanting MORE. More than we could give. Pushing my family to look like everyone else....perfect. But, we are NOT. And, that's what I learned, that's what I have accepted as the weeks after our shoot have progressed. The other families LOOK AMAZING! They are SO warm and Holiday like and I love their pictures and I thought, we look "BLAH" and just there! But, truth is. Every family is individual. Every family is their own entity and we are all different. My family, I thought, doesn't look as picture perfect as all the others, but I now know, that, that's not true!

I have been so disobedient with HIM. Forcing my family to look and be who they are not. But, HE always shows me , reality. Reminding me. That MY plans are NOT HIS plans and for a good reason!!!!!

Now, the pictures. Which are just AMAZING!!!! Casey truly captures who you are and makes it all look...well PERFECT! [Ha.] I was just being a HUGE baby about it all.....or so I have been told! [Ha.]


{Please visit Dream Tree Photography: Casey Ayala is awesome at what she allows her imagination and creativity to capture!}