What am I going to tell my Daughter about love.....

What am I going to tell my Daughter about love now that I have "failed" at it? 

Sometimes I think back at the last year and just wish that I had that one piece of advice from my mom that would answer all my questions. It still hasn’t come. And, I’m not sure it ever will. And, it’s ok. But, I need to ask myself what I’m going to tell my daughter about love and relationships, marriage, self-love, growing-up and being your own lunch date.

I want her to know that her true love should be herself. That she should love and accept herself above all else. She shouldn’t expect anybody or "someone" to fill those gaps or those empty spaces. She should want to be her own lunch date every day. She should grow mentally, spiritually and emotionally every day on her own. She doesn’t need anyone’s approval or to approve of her. She should know that love is great but only when you know that it should be mutual, supportive and freeing. 

She doesn’t need a knight in shining armor to come and save her, she should have already saved herself. She should be brave and strong and know that sometimes love isn't immediate or automatic. She should be patient but know when to move on and move forward. Love, as much as you'd like it to be, isn't easy, it’s a complicated feeling and not everybody will be able to see her true value and worth. I don’t want her to look for love or think that she has to wait for it I want her to go about her life and know that love will find her.  When the time is right.... 

I want her to be independent and her own person. Much like she is now. I want her to be herself. Never having to worry about or having to apologize for who she is. Always embracing her unique features and ways, her beauty and her intelligence. Always being herself no matter how "extra" and out there she is, she is who she is, and no one can change her. 

I want her to know that love can change and evolve. I want her to know that I didn’t really fail at love because I have known love in so many forms and most importantly because I have her and her brother who both came from a place of love and I know what love can be. I haven't failed at love because I have been loved and have loved. I haven't failed at love because I have learned to love myself more and more these days. 

I don't ever want her to apologize for knowing what she wants and being strong-willed. I want her to know that she can have what she wants, not only because she's stubborn but persistent. My daughter is already becoming this strong independent girl, I want to fuel all of these feelings constantly.

I want her to know that "failing" at love is also acceptable. No one is perfect. It's not required and life goes on. 

I am going to tell my Daughter that love is within her and that even when you don't have anyone to love, life goes on because loving ourselves is always the best option. I want to tell her that love is amazing and she should strive to be the most loving even in the absence of love from the outside world.   

I want to tell her that she is love and that I love her.... that's what I will tell her about love... 

She is writing her own love story and that's all that matters. 

::Transitions::

Transition: To transition, transform or metamorphous into a new place or space. 

It’s where I’ve been for over a year, mentally. Physically the movement began, a little over 8 months ago. It’s a difficult place to be in when you truly have no clue where you’re heading. These have been some of the most difficult moments in my life to date but with time comes clarity. 

As I continue to seek it. 

With every push forward towards seeking your true self there comes a little defeat, disappointment, thoughtfulness, and reflection. But, not everything is lost. Along the way, you find new friends, a new sense of self and direction. You grow a little more with each experience and are reminded of your resilience.

It seems that every time I get overwhelmed I tend to retreat into my safe zone. But, I’m pretty sure that’s most people. That doesn't mean that that's where you belong. Because that's definitely not where growth happens.  

Going back into my comfort zone and doing the thing that I love most and know well, writing and staying in this "safe" space. Comes easy to me. So, when things get overwhelming this is where I go. To my words. But, most growth has happened in my actions. I am just now ready and able to put it all into words. 

And, it's kind of, a very freeing moment and movement if you will. To be less censored in what I can and how I say, or write about it. Divorce isn't an easy word to write, much less say. It's been a process and time has given me the words I need to move forward. 

It’s easy to be filled with self-doubt, fear, and defeat. And, sometimes it’s OKAY, to feel these feelings. Because they’re real. Because they happen. Because it’s life. 

Things are not always going to be perfect. Don’t compare. Instead, look inward for direction. Purpose is fulfilled differently for everyone.

When you accept what this life has chosen for you to bare, that’s when you can turn your situation around. If you go back in history you will find clues that will confirm your purpose. I know I have. Sometimes the signs were there but I still moved forward. Without my 19 year relationship, I would not have the experiences I have now, or two children to help me become who I am today. 

When you are called to seek a new path, it’s a testament to your purpose. Resilience & Courage. Be brave and move forward. 

These are the words I keep telling myself. These are the words I want to write about. I want to talk about how much pain and guilt occurs when leaving a marriage is your choice. How I never meant to hurt my spouse. It was never my intention but it happened. I lived with the guilt for days on end. But, I've pushed forward and learned that it can't live in your heart because it's not a way of life. 

Neither of us was perfect. Obviously. But, the choices I made were for me alone. And, these days, I am good with how it has all started to work out and "fall into place". 

I also know, that my direction has changed, and that's OKAY too. 

This is where my new chapter of life begins, the next 20 years of my life will be spent exploring more of who I want to be and how I want to continue to fulfill my purpose. 

::8 Years and Counting:: A Marriage Reflection

For many of you who know us, you should know that Ricardo and I have grown-up together. We were teens when we met. 15 years later and after 8 years of marriage, 2 toddlers, and a lots of good and bad we are still here. Together. In love. In our own way. My Hubby is not your typical romantic who remembers the small things the way I do. For a long time, I really disliked him for it. But, then I slowly began to realize who he is...

He is above all a thoughtful and determined provider for his family, organized and mindful of what we can and cannot afford.

He is a happy father who LOVES his children unconditionally.

He loves me and cares for me.

He tries every day to be better person.

He brings me flowers when I am mad. It counts. A lot.

He accepts me and my crazy ideas but he doesn't always agree with me.

He is my Husband, a Father, a Brother, a Son, a Brother-in-Law and a Son-in-Law as well as a friend to many.

He is an intelligent man with his own plan, trying to focus on his goals.

His laugh is contagious.

He is the love of my life. My one and only. My always and forever. NO matter how much we argue and say things...we are still together. Making it through the struggles of everyday.

Marriage is not easy. Living with another person for years and years is not easy. It's work. Everyday a new day. Everyday a new challenge. We work at our marriage, some days are good, some are bad and others are great. On the worse days we give each other space, we hear each other out but we never run away.

Marriage has been a blessing, a life changing experience and a life time commitment. I don't plan on giving up and I am sure and blessed that he will not give up either.

People will see us and judge us, as individuals for what we are not or what we don't do, or what we lack or what they think we are. But, in the end Him and I know each other, what we have been through and where we are going. Nothing else matters. Ever.

The goal is to make it and make it good. Our vision are two children. They will see us, they will follow us, they will know what and who we are, they are watching us and for them, we will do our best to be great. For them, for us and for each other as individuals.

I say it all the time. Our lives are not perfect, nor do we claim it or pretend to be that way. Our lives are together and together we make it work. Some days we are happy, others we are sad and some days we are very, very mad but always together.

We try every day to make the best of what we have. We don’t have it all. We might not have the best but we have love…every day.

Ricardo, I love you. I don’t tell you enough how much I appreciate you and admire you, for your strength, your courage and your determination. I love you…..until death do us part. Happy 8th year wedding anniversary, and happy 15 year anniversary of being together.

::August:: #morethanamonth

::August::

It's  not only the month I met my Husband in 1999, even then he wasn't just some guy who wanted to date me and called me every other day from a payphone, he was different. Could I tell you that he would now be the same man who I married and had dos children with? No. Probably not. At 18 life for me was uncertain. My immediate family wasn't as stable as a family would want, to think that one day my dad could walk me down the aisle and that he would later be around to see me give birth to his grandchildren. It was complicated.

It's also the month that 6 years later in 2005, my Hubby would  propose to me on the same day we met August 13th...only after I was being nosy, as usual and found my engagement ring in the glove compartment of his 2000-something Jetta. It was still a special moment 6 years in the making. 

A year later in 2006, on a rainy Houston day we got married. August 19th.

3 years after that, in August of 2009, we were a month a away from having our first child. A son born September 16th. We thought then we were complete... 

Imagine our surprise when almost a year later, once more in August, while we were away on an Internship trip with my Hubby I would find  out I was pregnant again, this time  with my daughter, Camila. She was born in March of 2011. Now we feel complete but we have no idea what more the universe has in store for us. 

And, we are waiting and ready for whatever that may be.....

Oh yeah, did I mention that it is also my Hubby's Birthday month, this year the big 3-5!! 

 

Without even thinking about it, August has so much significance in our lives. It continues to bring blessings and positive outcomes for our little family of 4.  

What  month, is more than just a month for you? 

Brilliant Earth’s Create a Little Love Campaign! #brilliantearth

{ Momma Disclosure: This is not a compensated post. The statements below are both my true and honest opinion.}

LOVE

Love is...

Life
Friends

Family
Marriage
&

Children

Love is....
All around us. 

It comes in all shapes and sizes and when you least except it. When I think about Love these days, I think about not only my Hubby but also these 2 {Dos} little people who rules our lives..in the most amazing way!

To Love someone the way you can love your children is beyond comprehension. You just don’t know how much love you are capable of  until you have children. Your entire purpose and meaning of life are forever changed.

When I think about love, I think about my children and their childish way…so perfect, so unique, so love-stricken!  

Tiny hands and tiny feet with pure hearts and lots of toys!

I say Love with all my heart and soul….

How Do You Say Love?

{Information below provided by Brilliant Earth}

::Post Inspired by Brilliant Earth and their Create a Little Love Campaign::

::BRILLIANT EARTH::

   OUR MISSION

    ----------------

::PROVIDE QUALITY::

Brilliant Earth provides the highest quality jewelry originating from

pure sources and harvested using socially responsible practices.

::FOSTER CHANGE::

Brilliant Earth provides education about the social and

environmental issues affecting the jewelry industry and identifies

ways to help.

::PROMOTE GROWTH::

Brilliant Earth supports underdeveloped communities ravaged by

the jewelry industry by donating a share of our profits.

::February:: #lovemonth

Can you believe it's February?! NO. Really. It's February!  

I don't even remember January and it was only 3 days ago. Just another sign that this year will go by fast!

I have a couple of Blog updates. I am seeking a designer to help me with a new logo I have in mind so stay tuned to some very awesome new changes. And, I am trying to keep up between Rodeo season here in Houston, home and work so I will try to write as much as possible this month!

I owe you a Parte Dos of the Blogger Q&A, working on those! I also have a yummy recipe in the works for our Friday Health/Fitness post.

Not sure if you read some of the ways I plan to keep sane, happy and in peace this year but one of them was and is more alone time with my Husband. Our first date night of the year was to a wedding last month it was FUN. Very appropriate. I think.

This past weekend a friend invited us to a Couples Dinner hosted by her church the theme was Intimacy, what an appropriate way to begin this month and to add another date night to 2014.

The topic at first seemed a bit intimidating  and we were intrigued as to how this would work in this type of setting but everyone was so extremely nice and their sincerity put us at ease. It was a great reminder that no matter how great of a marriage we have, we need to constantly work on our true Love for one another.

Not because we don't love one another, but because we do and we want to continue to grow not only as a couple but as individuals and remain in love as the years go by. It was a great night filled with fun memories and definitely eye opening thoughts about love, marriage and yes, sex.

It was quite the interesting session as the Pastor gave us a very honest insight into his own marriage and how he has overcome those barriers that were keeping him from having the marriage and life that God intended for him. Definitely a type of dinner that I would recommend for any couple seeking MORE out of their relationship with each other and with their faith.

How was your first weekend of the month? And, what type of LOVE plans do you have for February?

{Anatomy of a Date Night} #latinosimparables

Marriage is a priority in my life. The Hubby and I have been together since 1999. We were young. It's been a while. We now have kids. Toddlers to be exact. A 3 1/2 year old and a Two year old. I mention that a lot. They are only 18 months apart. In our defense we were getting older and we didn't want to miss out on having kids. So, we had two, back to back. It's been the biggest Blessing of our life. It's been exhausting. It's been draining. It's been a truly unexpected journey which we didn't expect in our 30's! But, we survive every day more and more...we love our children and our life together. 

Through it all we both have degrees and pursuing our careers and dreams. Then there is every day life. People. Family. Extended Family. Friends. Etc. Etc. 

Marriage is OUR priority. In 2012, my Hubby graduated from college and  we had a series of events that started the realization that we needed adult time. Not just him and I but with friends and people who were living lives similar to ours. We started some date nights. But, it wasn't until December of last year that we realized how important date night was. It was then that my Hubby said; "Man. We need to do this once a month, at least! That's my New Year Resolution." Music to my ears. And, this man has delivered. 

We have made it a point to have a date night at least once a month, sometimes it happens twice and if we are lucky date night has occurred more than twice in a single month. ::insert happy dance here:: One of my great online friends; who I have met in person, wrote about date nights ::here::

{Gracias a Downy for making our date night a memorable one at the #LatinosImparables Jesse & Joy concert!}

Today, I want to establish what needs to happen in our home for a date night to happen...successfully:

First; we must establish WAY far in advanced a date and/or event. We have been to Birthday Dinners, Weddings, the Theater, Company Parties, Happy Hours, Concerts, Our own Anniversary Dinner, and yes even Church, did I mention Target, every date counts....we make no exceptions or excuses. 

Then; we must find a willing soul who would freely {Did I mention, FREELY} like to take on the task of dealing with not one but DOS {2} toddlers named Cami and Santi.  The Baby-sitter! Usually my Momma. She is the best. And, they love her which makes for an easy escape. Minimal tears=Carefree Momma; kind of! I still worry and the Hubby worries more... at the end of the night we end up showing every cell phone picture of our kids to everyone in the room even strangers. They must know how great our kids are. 

We must then figure our logistics. Time frames, pick up/ drop off locations, number involved in party, and supplies needed to care for the party of two and how we will get ready/ meet up and what time we should leave to our event. Trust me coordination and communication is key in operation "Let's Get this Party Started". I may think of hiring a helicopter in the future, just sayin'...

Finally, we make our great escape into adult land and start our night.   

Sound simple enough? Sure, it may seem simple on paper, but it's taken us a little practice and time to get our act together!  We have both placed the same effort into every outing which makes for a very successful and fun night! 

What about you; how do your date nights usually go?  

{Houston Area Women's Center} #stoptheviolence

Many may not know this about me but I have witnessed violence in the home first hand. {I don't plan on giving out details, when it happened I told many people in hopes that it would ease the pain, I went to church, I spoke to my Boyfriend-He is now my Husband, I wrote about it, I cried about it, I thought about dying at my own hands over it. It was not the best time in my life but I also don't want to harm those whom I love with details or remembering what was. I lived through it. I survived and so did she.}

I was going to post about this regardless but with what happened on Friday I decided to make it a mini-series on my Blog. #stoptheviolence

Domestic Violence of any form is a difficult and tramautizing experience. Trust me. I have been there. In the dark with the thought of, what if I just stop breathing, it will stop the pain. After years of it and fed up, I was grown and after feeling powerless at one point in my life, I had suddenly gained strenght, wisdom, age and courage. Courgae that was built after years of horrifiying stories, first hand accounts, and one call to the HAWC. I stood in a room, with the adrelanie rush and telling my story of intervention, prevention and attempting to save a life. I then found myself in a waiting room on Montrose. Could this be real? ME. I was living this. With a loved one. So much pain. So many terrify events. The emotional. The physical. The abuse on so many levels. The pain on a level I never knew I could reach.

After days, weeks and months of healing...now years... the pain, empowerment. The memories, my strength and my courage. I will never, NEVER allow this to happen to a loved one EVER. Again.

Which is why I am here now. Telling you that if you are suffering ANY kind of abuse you too can overcome, survive and heal.

3 weeks ago I was invited to attend the taping of Great Day Houston. I sat in the audience and a first hand account of what live TV is like. It was exciting and an awesome opportunity. But, I wasn't sure if anyone else was there for the same reason that I was. I had survived violence in the home. I was there to assist in representing the Houston Area Women's Center, we wore red. The color of pain and hope when you live through and survive what I have see, heard and lived. I felt honored. Humbled. And, an amazingly overwhelming feeling to have been able to put YEARS of violence behind me. Years of silence in the open. It's a freeing sitiuation.










I am here today to ask you to donate and help in any way possible for an extremenly good cause. One that saved my life and that of my loved ones. One that has restored my faith in life, love and marriage.

I thank the Houston Area Women's Center for one day holding our hand and giving us hope.

I thank Frida for the opportunity and allowing me to be a part of something so great and simple as to sit and represent a cause and for a place that one day harvested safety and new hope for those of us who have lost it.

Go to the following links to help the HAWC::HERE:: and ::HERE::
Go to the following link to learn more about Frida ::HERE::

If you need help getting out of a violent situation and are scared to move forward know that the person hurting you will never hurt you if you stop giving them the power to do so. ::CLICK HERE FOR HELP::

Prayers for those in pain.

Momma Disclosure: This is not a compensated OR sponsored post. This is however a subject that is very near and dear to my heart which is why I chose to share it.  The above statements are both true and actual experiences.

{Evil} & Prayer

I like to think that my Blog is a happy and positive space where I can be Happy and Positive.

But, life is not so.

In general, I know what being Blessed and praying entails.

But, truth is.

I also know the opposite of that and it's not a happy or perfect place. I embrace life and all that comes with it. I have lived through the worse of my days,most people wouldn't even imagine it. Trust me, I don't live a fairytale life and darkness has lived in my heart....

I didn't get swept away by a knight in shinning armour into a "Happily Ever After" like zone... I was loved and cared for by my Husband who after 14 years has NEVER left my side...to this day we fight the battle together, with the help of God, never alone. We have come to be in this place, we were not born into peace and faith, we have learned to live this way... it's a place where we both find happiness and joy. A place where positivity reigns and life is abundant.


We have lived through some dark days... but we will overcome and Jesus will take us to that place... I am reminded of this awesome lyric from one of my favorite songs: "Then you look at this prisoner and say to me "son stop fighting a fight that's already been won""

 
The following is the first ever contribution from my Hubby to my Blog:

"Evil lurks and we stand near it. 
If faith is strong we shouldn't fear it. 
And, for those who choose to walk the devils path. 
They will answer & suffer God's wrath."

I personally Love it. 
But, it does come from my knight in shining armour. Husband and partner in life..so I have nothing ill to say... ever. 

Target DATE!

Date night for the Hubby and I are almost non-existent.....any chance we get to take a little break or for some time alone... we take it. Don't get me wrong...we LOVE our kids with ALL of our hearts. But, a little time away is always appreciated, to re-group, to talk and to just be Husband and Wife.

Today we definitely took advantage of an afternoon nap.

We had breakfast at our home with family and by 2pm everyone was tired. Before we knew it everyone was asleep....My Sister and her son where here as well... so we made a mad dash for the door not before asking my Sis' if she minded staying with the kids..everyone was asleep!

So, the Hubby and I left... to Target... we shopped for a new phone {to upgrade the Hubby} and a T.V.{which my son broke, he breaks a lot of things... #boys}...it was fun...I also looked at toys for possible Christmas gifts..the afternoon was perfect!

I also had a great picture of my Sister asleep but she did watch the kids so I don't want her mad at me! Ha!!

{Date Night} ♥ Anniversary Edition

It's been 13 years; the Hubby and I, know each other....pretty well. We started off as "my cousins friend" and the "cousin who just moved here from the valley". Although my Husband says it started way earlier than the college years... He was my Cousin's Best Friend still is {we are Compadres to this day}... I was the cousin who would visit Houston from the Valley...South Texas to be exact... Mission. When I was about 15, Ricardo was about 17 my cousins, my siblings and myself went to the apartments Ricardo lived in with his family to swim, they had the "better pool". I maybe, glanced at him and said Hello. I was 15. I was really a whatever kind of girl, much like now. 3 years later I came to Houston to start college, I was 18; Ricardo was about to be 20.  

His family and friends called him "Flaco", he was a good ol' Mexican kid from the Southwest side of Houston, 19 years old and pretty cute. All I wanted to do was study and have no life, I wasn't too keen on guys and whatever it was their idea of fun was. My Momma taught me to keep in line and walk the path.... or else...she'd warned me about boys like Ricardo..... I listened to her and then followed my heart....

13 years later here we are. Married. College Graduates. With DOS {two} amazing little Blessings from up above.

We love. We work hard. And, we've learned to listen, care and respect one another very much. Yes, we argue. Some days A LOT. No we are NOT perfect by any means. I love him and he loves me. We tell each other things that we don't mean and then we forgive one another and remember that God has brought us to this very place on earth in our lives. We pray. We praise and we Thank God every day for all the little Blessings and the big struggles that have made us the individuals and family that we are today.

These days our family has a busy schedule, most days very busy. We lead some pretty busy lives. It's not exactly how we planned it but at the end of the day it's where we had planned to be with a little bit of faith and hard work. Together.

We have been a bit well busy lately. Still, I constantly speak of non-existent date nights. My Husband will say to the kids; "Momma and Daddy need some alone time." To which Camila smiles and nods and Santiago says; "no" and then laughs nervously.

With our busy schedules and our beautiful kids who deserve all of our undivided attention we rarely make time for us. The week of Ricardo's graduation was a rare one we got TWO nights to ourselves...with friends. It was nice. Really nice.  I do think though that a night out on the town...ALONE was long overdue.

Just to catch up and refresh. It's always nice.

So, what kind of a date night did we dream up.....

Dinner and some fancy drinks....the grown up kind! Then a Rock'en' Español concert.... Cafe Tacuba to be exact.... "Eres...." On this night the possibilities were endless...and bedtime was right around the corner. By 9pm we wanted to go home and when 3am hit we were, well exhausted and a bit delirious. To be out so late who does that kind of thing....oh wait...we used to...a  long time ago... when we were young and had no little ones to run after and be responsible for. It was amazing fun and a great night spent, laughing with friends, dancing and just having some genuine grown up fun! We celebrated and we conquered! We were parents and then we crashed out at my Momma's house...

We were determined. We accomplished a date night. Alone. For our 6th year Wedding Anniversary {13th year together-versary!}.

Happy Anniversary to the man that I can't live with and I would not know how to live without. It's been a lifetime and an amazing ride... it's been a Blessed time and happy love. I couldn't have asked for a better person to spend the good, the bad and the ugly with for the rest of the days that God has planned for us.

Team Gomez in the making....

{Self-Worth} ♥

I wish I only had a hundred words..but God is telling me otherwise...

Last week He had me by the pinkie toe of my foot..you know what I mean? Those weeks when you are not quite sure what the turmoil in your heart and soul is REALLY trying to tell you. As a fairly new Momma and a Wife of 5{plus} years, it's taken a new kind of strength and wisdom, maturity and faith to move on. To move forward.

I love, LOVE my family; being a wife has been a challenge but I think as the years have gone by I've learned from my mistakes and moved on. Being a Momma is just a journey in itself, the combination...well that just speaks for itself.

I am not going to lie. It gets difficult to simply move some days. Nights become short and days even shorter. Chores pile up and stress weighs heavy on your weary heart. It's a challenge. God never said it would be easy... that's fo'sho! Ha. But, He also promised He'd be there for me every.step.of.the.way. even when no one else would be. And, BOY OH BOY, has that been true.

People become so much more concerned in constant comparison and set out to destroy; instead of encouraging and building up the Momma's and Wifey's of this world. Sometimes. We do it to ourselves.

It's horrible. I know.

But, that's when God steps in, smacks me on the back of the head with his frying pan size of a Bible and reminds me. Who are you? NOT to the world, but to ME? "You are my creation. And, trust me, I don't make anything short of amazing!"

There are days when our Momma heart is weighing heavy in your tired chest..... we burnt dinner and our souls went with it, the kids are throwing fits and we don't want to deal with it, the Hubby is just in that mood that gets you in THAT mood, and you just don't think you are as a good of a Momma as that one Momma who home schools, is super crafty and cooks dinner every night without burning it. STOP! WAIT. Deep breath and short prayer....

God says.... you are not like her and she is not like you. Don't allow your own comparision. Or anyone elses, to weigh you down. That's not what this life is about.

We all have our own talents and amazing little ways of caring for our family. So, who cares what she has or did that you don't or didn't... God loves you. He's got your back. Trust. Have faith. Be self-loving..not self-loathing. God is an amazing father and He will never leave you or forsake you.

You are an amazing Momma and Wifey! TRUST IN THAT.

Last week was rainy and dark... and when Jesus came He whispered.

TRUST. peace. FAITH.

self-LOVE. faith. PEACE.

trust. SELF-love....

BREATH. wait. Seek.

HAPPINESS.

SELF-LOVE.

faith. trust. peace.

In that moment. In that morning. The storm cleared out. I knew. Everything will be ok. Change is here you are re-newed and faith will take over. God is not going to allow you to stand alone. He brings favor and grace not otherwise. 

Being a Wifey/Momma is a tough job. As women we care so much for others that there are moments when we loose ourselves. Becomes so involved and wrapped up in things, people, or places of this world that we forget what the real meaning of life is...and that is LIFE itself. You look over to those amazing little human beings that God has allowed you to have and that amazing Hubby that supports, comforts and secures you and you are in that moment reminded...of His favor and His grace for peace and faith..not for the world... or anything else.  

1 Thessalonians 5:11{The Message (MSG)}

9-11God didn't set us up for an angry rejection but for salvation by our Master, Jesus Christ. He died for us, a death that triggered life. Whether we're awake with the living or asleep with the dead, we're alive with him! So speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you'll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. I know you're already doing this; just keep on doing it.

 

::The Student's Wife:: An Identity Project

When I came up with the whole... "yeah, I'm gonna write about my Identity, thing"..it seemed a whole lot easier... Then, I read Vanessa's post and thought, WOW! I was even more inspired about the whole.."YEAH, I'M GONNA WRITE ABOUT MY IDENTITY, THING!"

Then for 2 nights in a row...stuck...like no other....

Then I thought...what makes me, me? What makes me, Ricardo's wife?

My Husband is a student. He is 32 years old and God willing after many, many years of sacrifice he will be graduating this Summer! {Go Coogs!}

When I look at him I see faith, strength, and courage. Night after night of studying, working during the day, coming home to be a Husband and a Daddy. I am not perfect {duh!}.  I gripe. I complain. I go on and on about everything that bugs me, things I want and live for, my passions, my creative peaks, my creative ruts, my wants, my needs, my LOVES{my children}, my friends, my family, my faith, my job..... {and on and on....} Some days he would come home and tell me he wasn't going to make it through the semester and he wasn't going to do school anymore... He was just going to quit.

As a wife...I'd step in and step up. I'd put that thinking cap of encouragement on and snap on my woman of faith cape....I have needed it most {and many of} nights...It's not easy. To see him suffer. To see him doubt. It hurts me. Some nights my tears put me to sleep as I listened to his thoughts in the dark... it's been a ride. Trust me, it's been a ride. TRUST ME.

I have learned to; uplift, pray, support, encourage, some days just let it be, some nights just sit in the still quiet, other nights remind him that he'd come this far..there was no WAY in the world I would let him give up..not for us, not for him and not for anyone. He gets discouraged, people don't see him the way I do. He sees me the way others don't. That's when it hit me...I am THIS, a Student's Wife and he gets that, many don't, many won't..ever.

He struggles with everyday life, work life, family life, school life and still he has accomplished so much and embraced it all. He has overcome. I love it. He has faith. He has prayer. I love him. He is my strength when I am weak, my motivation when I have none... He is himself for  me...

Where does that leave me? As his support, as his friend, as his cheerleader, as his coach, as his personal assistant, as his wife, as his everyday reminder of what we are working towards... of our goals and wants, some days of our basic needs. I am ME for him, I am a Student's Wife, and I love it. Simple. Sincere. Upbeat and upfront. Honest and Loving. Supportive and caring. Trying to make our own little way. Our own little life with our own little mistakes...we learn we grow. I am ME, for him... he is himself for ME.



To my Husband:

You may not know this, but I love being a Student's Wife it keeps me on  my feet and it keeps me alert! I Love you.

{He'll read this one day..he goes through my Blog sometimes..he doesn't admit to it..but he does... }

Being your Wife has given me new confidence, new courage and new strength to move forward. Motivation and encouragement to think BIG, to plan ahead and to be well organized! Thank You for giving me a job to do when you are away... and when you are near... I am your wife... and you are a student!

Love you more than you know,

The Student's Wife

~Table 5~

This post must begin with a temper tantrum. Maybe this is where Santi is getting it from. Ahiii. Thankfully my Hubby knows me and remained objective. Ha.

It starts out on a Saturday afternoon. Frustration set in as we were getting ready for a very good friends wedding. I didn't like the way my clothes was fitting me. Let's face it. I've never been, naturally, a size 2. I am about a cupcake and a cherry coke away from a meltdown most days. I am a short and curvy Hispanic Momma. Asi soy, lo acepto!  I've always had to work at being a stable size 10/12 {does that exist?}. The last five years I've fluctuated between tears and struggles from a size10 to a size 16 while pregnant.

This Saturday I was determined. To fight the pain of these forever unforgiving kidney stones and to forget that I am at 165 in a size 14..but forcing myself into a size12. The aches and pains of being a curvy Momma were overcome and I moved forward. In a black pencil skirt, a nice cream blouse and heels.

We made it to the wedding where we were greeted by smiling faces on a dark patio. I thought, THANK GOD! No lighting! I will appear smaller than I really am, HA. Our friends looked amazing and their happiness and family were more than welcoming. Cocktail hour would come to a close and they would summon us to the dinning room. We assumed we'd be sitting at  the "college buddies" table. We waited at the entrance of the reception for our table number and walked in straight past the table that we would have thought to be at, table 8, where all the other "college buddies" were sitting.

Instead our table number, 5, was composed of 3 new couples, none of whom we knew. But, we didn't mind. We awkwardly sat down and took our respective places at the table. Shyly but surly we all started talking, asking how one another knew the happy Mr. & Mrs. Fernandez. As the stories and relationship statuses started pouring out the table became more at ease and the night got started.

Dinner was great and our conversations about marriage, John and Aby {the Mr. & Mrs.}, children, pets, college, technology and careers all seemed to fall right into place. Table 5 had far more in common than we had imagined. Suddenly the table number seemed suitable and age appropriate. Aby {& God} knew the type of company that we needed that night. Grown up company with similar lives. All of the sudden table 5 became our identity and the night had whisked away! Fun, laughter, dancing, singing, Faith, hope, Love and new friendships in the making. It was all worth while.

All I could think was Thank God I didn't give up on that black size 14 pencil skirt and that I decided not to throw a full on tantrum. Otherwise we would have missed out...

{32 Yrs. 32 Reasons?}

My Husband is 23 today! Oh sorry...typed that really fast..I meant...32...YAY!

I have written about him and his love HERE and HERE...and probably many other places as well.

Our True Love story is written here:

Ricardo is to others...nothing of what he is to me...or in person. {If that makes any sense?!}

Here are 32 reason why I love him {there are surely many many more}:

1. He makes me laugh ::LIKE NO OTHER::
2. He loves me for me.
3. We have TWO beautiful children {who look like him!}
4. He is strong {in front of others}
5. He is humble {at all times}
6. He tells me EXACTLY how it is..NOT exactly what I want to hear!
7. He is REAL.
8. Unknowingly he is Godly.
9. Purposely he is Faithful.
10. Lovingly he is mine.
11. He cooks!
12. He is too smart..for his own good...
13. He is family oriented.
14. He loves doing..just about anything fun!
15. He is supportive!
16. He lifts me up even when I don't want to hear it.
17. He sets me straight when needed.
18. He communicates with me! AT ALL TIMES. OR WHEN IT REALLY MATTERS.
19. He is not scared to speak his mind.
20. He is independent and dependant..when they are needed and where they are needed..if that makes sense!
21. He doesn't scare easily {hence the standing up to my father for so many years and finally marrying me}
22. He doesn't get pushed around {even by me}
23. He is his own person {ALWAYS!}
24. He loves to dance! {and music!}
25. He doesn't mind holding my purse or now diaper bag! {He is still manly while he does it.}
26. He encourages me to move forward!
27. He has helped build my dreams!{ all of them.... and is now helping me accomplish them, hence the supportive part}
28. He helps me care, provide and discipline our children. {all are very important, I think as parents we should be on the same page about it all.}
29. He is a very hardworking person.
30. He does the dishes when I really don't want to.
31. He hugs me and holds me when I am sad.
32. No matter what, he keeps our mutual family and individual goals in mind at all times before making ANY big decision...as do I!

I love HIM! {Always and Forever...after....}

Happy Birthday to my HubChub!!!!

{Money Matters Monday}

This is a follow up to my "Finances and Such" post from last week...

Here are some tips and things that we  have "downsized" on. Over time, you don't realize they are gone but it makes a difference.

PLEASE KNOW THAT WE ARE IN NO WAY BITTER ABOUT OUR CUT BACKS AND THIS IS NOT A COMPLAINT POST...We realize that right now...we are in a time of downsizing, for the good of our little family. Plus we realize that it's a little more "do-able" since the kids are little and will not remember that we didn't have extras as they grew up.

Let's begin.... 

We no longer have:

1. Cable {Only Internet for Ric's school}
2. A home telephone {Does anyone?}
3. Someone who cleans our house {Shame on me..I know...}
4. A Yard guy {We limit the amount of times the yard guys come}
5. A Car note {and we don't plan on having one until next year when Ric' God willing finishes school!}

Things we no longer do:

1. Go to the movies {we Red Box baby!}
2. Go out to eat {Rarely}
3. Have people over constantly {We used to host pretty large crowds at our house but we don't anymore}
4. Have long vacations {We do shorts trips here and there, when we can, only}
5. Go out with friends {Not that we don't love you guys, just that we can't afford it right now..that's all}
6. Go shopping {We don't buy clothes or shoes often or on a whim anymore...}

We only shop:

1. For needs not wants {house and kids; food and school}
2. If it's on sale {we stock up!}
3. With coupons {We are DEFINITELY Coupons clippers, and I will be that person holding up the lane, so move on please...}
4. With lists and meal plans in minds {My Husband is the King of list making....more than me!}

We just don't:

1. We don't have Internet on our phones or expensive data plans. {My only splurge is $10.00 a month for unlimited texting...}
2. We don't have fancy phones or gadgets {We did spend on an electric can opener...::shrugs shoulders:: HA.}
3. I don't go to the hair salon and have not gone in years...except for a trim, I don't get my nails done {rarely I get a pedicure}, I don't get my eyebrows done {I do my own}, and I don't shop for clothes or shoes unless it's for work.

Don't get me wrong, we are NOT totally deprived of these extras and there are times when we do try to gets things that we want, and as much as we try not to eat out for dinner, we do spend on lunch. We definitely try our best to live within our means and according to our budget. Also, we are so very Blessed to have amazing Mom's who can help us. Ricardo's Mom watches our kids...FOR FREE. Nuff said! My Mom serves as my car pool, she lives close to my job so I drive to her house park there and she brings me into downtown, that saves me about $6 to $12 a day on parking.

{PLEASE NOTE: Ricardo and I are NOT financial experts and what we do may NOT work for everyone. I am simply sharing our system in hopes that what we do does help someone out there.}

Next week.... Coupon Clippers!