::Love is...:: #DomesticViolenceAwareness

You don't know the women you will come across in this lifetime. How they will impact you or make a difference in your life. Which is why I try to meet as many beautifully empowered women as possible. Everyday. It's become part of my mission. Today, I am sharing with you the story of strength, that I know all too well. I am honored to have met Lulu, online and hope to meet her in person soon!

Below some helpful links to help us better understand the impact of Domestic Violence: 

Domestic Violence Awareness month history: http://www.nrcdv.org/dvam/DVAM-history

Houston Area Women's Center: http://www.hawc.org/

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Article by Lulu-

When I grow up I'm going to be a model/dancer/designer. I'm going to travel the world. I'm going to fall in love and live happily ever after. 

Every young girl's dream.

My name is Lulu. I was 25 and fell in love. Started to live the dream. I wanted my career I wanted children I wanted to take care of my man. LOVE did not go as planned. With all that came responsibilities, struggles and change. I am Latina and we strive to do it all. I became a housewife and I would have it no other way but I lost my Identity. The relationship headed for failure as I became the victim of abuse, first emotional then physical. I don't think he ever thought he was doing harm. I did not want to be a failure and did not want for my children feel like a dysfunctional family. I became numb until one day, 18 years later,  I could no longer stay quiet. I fought back..I wanted to find LULU again. 

The spirit I had growing up. 

I wanted to show my kids that I was strong. I wanted to show them what LOVE is. The photo below is of the only scar I am proud of from my abuse. I got this tattoo to help me stand taller everyday. It is the words I live by. It is in Spanish.

"love is patient, love is kind, is not jealous, not boastful,is not easily angered."

I once thought that God had abandoned me but in fact he was carrying me the whole time.

Never be bullied into silence, define yourself!

You must NOT stay silent. You must seek help and you must take action. It takes planning. But, if you are in real danger, you must find the strength and courage to move forward. Most important that you call the authorities. That is the hardest thing to do ..I KNOW. Do not let fear guide you, believe me calling the law is your proof and for your safety. Remember you are NOT alone.  I suggest you find an outlet where you can discuss this like; your church, or your county has centers for counseling for families and most important....true friends. I have had everything and nothing and believe me there will be a day you wake up and are proud of yourself. And, forgive yourself for not seeing your own worth sooner. The best thing I learned is you have to accept that it will feel like you are taking one step forward then two back but these are not failures these are God's way of guiding you.

Starting over. Wow. 

{Makeup & Photograph: Deirra Smith Collard; Owner of LeCharme Magazine.}

Then the question is why me...again single. Issues with trusting anyone and fear of falling into the same type of relationship. The divorce felt like death and liberation at the same time. I went to therapy for awhile and realized I had been holding back so many emotions. It felt good to be able to let them out. Then I realized I needed to love myself again. I could not be in a relationship if I still haven't work on me. I found my true passion again. Dance. I went to a Zumba class. I made so many new friends and started to grow again. My self esteem, confidence, and I was looking good. I became an instructor then became an instructor at my friend  Crystal Wall'S studio . Mixfitz Studio. This is when I found my voice. I want to inspire you to smile everyday and compliment yourself. Step on the box..stand tall and set new limits for yourself. Because in doing this, you will be the WOMAN you aspired to be once upon a time. 

Love will come again when it is God sent..not when you are lonely or alone. You need to peek over the walls you have built out of fear and breath the opportunities out there for you and yours.

I want to help others as so many did for me and they continue to do so, because life is hard. Remove the negative. Face it, nothing is given to you unless you GO FOR IT. Regain your voice, be a survivor, remember to be victorious and not be a victim.

Love is... The fairytale.... You meet someone. You feel butterflies. You feel complete. You plan the future. You live happily ever after. Don't ever stop being a hopeless romantic!

If you need to talk or help finding resources email me at beyoufuego@gmail.com

::Sunday Funday:: Enjoy life....

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about being free... today I wish you a happy Sunday and a reminder...

To enjoy life...

To Relax....

To embrace life....

To live an adventure...

To be FREE! 

::Life Lately:: Silence is Golden...

It's been quiet here lately. I have lots going on. Very little down time. New projects on the brain. My focus is to unfocus and some how it's brought me 360. My blog is very important to me.

But, sometimes.

Life takes over.

Life becomes difficult.

Some days I have to dig deep. Be reminded that love, support and blessings come from those nearest to my heart. My family. They are everything. They love us. They support us. They know how to be blessings.

I am human. I do allow life to overwhelm me. To take over me. To get me down. Then I seek. Deep in my heart, somewhere out in my soul and high towards the sky.

Suddenly. Love. Life. Smiles. Family. They overcome. They overwhelm my heart with goodness and I am once more reminded. I have nothing to fear. I should be inspired and motivated. I should rise above and DO everything I feel that I can do. Because it's possible. It's doable.

I am blessed.

Let me count the ways. 

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::Christmas Recap:: 2014

Christmas has always started with faith and traditions for me. These days those beliefs remain, we try every year to make it more and more about our children and what we want them to gain from this season. Faith, family and togetherness.  We worry less about what's in it for us or what others except and more about what our kids will learn from it all... We love sharing with them and our family.

And, as the years go by we enjoy it more and more by creating our own family memories and traditions that we hope will allow our children to gain appreciation, faith and love for our culture and traditions.  

Here is our Christmas recap in pictures: 

Nourish ::Your Soul::

The prompts for this months NaBloPoMo are about nourishing your body... a lot of great posts and great prompts.. and I decided to take it into a different direction because the word has new meaning to me.

When it comes to being Nourished. How do you seek to find a balance? As a Momma my daily feelings are often challenged.  I can be ecstatic and energetic one minute and wore down and drained the next, as a Woman, I struggle some days to keep that balance. Not because I am some of kind crazy ::or maybe:: but because we have so many situations, issues and tantrums coming our way that it tends to happen. 

"You are not alone. You are not crazy." It's what I wish I could hear more often but some days... I just know that most won't understand. I crave 5 minutes alone. In silence. Does it happen? Rarely. And, at times forced. I have to make this time for myself or else my daily feelings explode. On my children, on my Husband and sometimes on my friends or people close to me.

This past weekend I attended an event that has become a tradition with one of my close Yvonne from Running in Faith. Yvonne and I have a history together. A lifetime if you will. We rarely get to see one another even though we live in the same city. Very common, Houston is ginormous! She lives though on the opposite end of Houston. I live in Cypress/Katy and she lives in Pearland. When she invited me 3 years ago to go to the Women's Event at her church I didn't know that we would go every year since. But, we have. It's been great and we have invited friends along the way.

These events have taught me 3 things:

1) I crave being nourished; by the word of God and my faith. No matter what your faith or religion is, believing helps me be renewed and refreshed.

2) I get a BREAK! Attending an all Women's event once a year is GREAT! No children or Husbands; as much as we LOVE and adore and would do anything and everything for our families...a little break is much needed.

3) Seeking a connection. Finally. I am constantly seeking that connection. With the only other human beings that will understand me and have some real and honest advice. Women. It's amazing how great that connection can become.

What we allow...

It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. 

Actions are cruel. Words are harsh. But, probably more so than that.... thoughts can be devastating. 

We allow peoples' words and actions towards us to weigh us down. To cause us pain. To remind us that the past exists and that we can't change it.  

I don't know about you but this icky feeling of sorrow. I allow it to bring me down. Yes, I do. I am human. Allowing things to happen is normal. 

The trick is to remember that our Blessings, our strengths, and our new beginnings are much bigger than our past and it's pain. That sometimes people like to hurt you because of their own ill twisted pain. Who knows if they do it intentionally or not. But, life goes on. We need to not only put those thoughts behind us but overcome them. 

We are not what those words tell us we are. We are better than that...we are far more Blessed. And, yes...life does go on. It's not perfect but it's worth living for. 

We cannot allow hurtful words and the past to take over our thoughts, it ruins your mind and heart. 

Today, I am sitting in the peace and love that my children bring into my life, focusing on what I am, what I have accomplished, what I have (not materialistically) but as a person...as a Woman. I am a Mother.  I am educated. I work hard day in and day out. I have beautiful girlfriends who surround me daily. I have a family that has been through so much and still we are standing. I have a Sister who has always been my best friend. 

I am who I say I am, not what others what we me to feel I am. 

I am not perfect, or the most beautiful or the smartest but I work hard for the life I have created. I don't have it all but I am a person who respects others and is loyal and faithful. As well as faith-filled. 

This too, shall pass....

{The Daycare Post}

One of the everyday issues as a Working Momma, I think, is la guarderia {daycare} it sounds so negative in Spanish. Ha. I imagine a guard and my kids just there, being guarded. Kept from the outside world? Dramatic much? Just a bit.

It has always been one of my concerns. My son has been in daycare on and off but my daughter spent one week in daycare last year and uhm, lets just say, it didn't work out. Almost 3 weeks ago though both my children headed back to daycare as I started my new job. It was a different experience this time. I was ready for them to go back and they were ready to be there. Especially Santiago. Camila, we were worried about.

Surprisingly enough she was doing really good until about day 4, the realization that I was actually leaving her the whole day, set it. How could I have ever left and abandon her there? So much so, that when we "reunite" in the afternoon it's emotional. Her face cringes and tears start to fill her eyes as she sees me walk in the door. She runs to me with hugs and excitement.  I feel bad. And, the other morning leaving her was emotional more so for me than for her.

Thankfully our daycare is so good they immediately sent me a text, a picture of Camila eating breakfast calmly and sitting with her class and teacher around her. It put me at ease. I realized though that if I leave her within her group in the morning it's easier. I usually drop them off in the breakfast room and then they are escorted to their class but Camila doesn't like that part of the morning, thankfully there are options.

It helps me realize how different my kids are.

I also realized that my own anxiety and worries are what put me in an emotional place with Camila, and I am sure she can sense the fear. Thankfully, this week I kept calm and so did Camila. I found the secret to leaving Camila at daycare without either of us crying or having a bad morning.......

Good-bye bad mornings, Hello happy Cami and Momma.

As a working Momma I have always had mixed emotions about leaving my kids behind. The fear and the what-ifs are easy to overcome if you trust your child's caregiver. That feeling that your kids are safe and happy throughout the day is a peaceful feeling.

At times, I think it's more difficult for us as Momma's to deal with the separation anxiety than it is for our children.... but we say a little prayer and move on in our day.

With a little faith and confidence everything will be ok at the guarderia.... 

Developing Self-Worth {Career}

The other day I wrote about my faith and how much I have grown and learned over the years. Today, I want to tackle the Career aspect of Developing Self-Worth.

I have had a pretty good range of experiences in my life. From cleaning houses in the Summer when I was in High School with my Momma and my Tia to working in a Downtown office for corporate America. I had never really been without work. Or never really had to "find" a job. Most my positions were obtained because I knew someone. 

The last 6 months have definitely been an experience, not just the Staying@ Home part but the job seeking and seeking my "dream" job. When I was younger my ambitions were limitless. I wanted it all. The perfect job with the best salary and the best boss, with all the amenities and yes, my own corner office in a high rise building. Truth is, who doesn't! Then I started looking for this job and though I am sure that it is out there...I realized what I am really after is environment, flexibility and appreciation. For a company to capture my heart. To feel an excitement that I have not felt in years. 

Truth is. My dream job is one that I can learn and grow in. No matter how long it takes me. If the "amenities" come with it, then so be it. I just realized that companies these days can really make you doubt your self-worth and over all {monetary} worth. I know it shouldn't be all about the money but as a growing family we definitely have to calculate all of the necessities. And, ultimately as individuals we know how much we are worth. We also know the amount of work that it has taken us to be where we are. 

I think that overall if a job is good to you and takes your family into consideration and values your time spent with them then that to me can ultimately become your "dream" job, in the making. It doesn't have to be in a "perfect" place, with "perfect" people and "perfect" circumstances...it can be just about anywhere and I doubt it has to be fancy or of "high prestige". We are who we are because of what we make out of our own unique situation.

When I received my college diploma I thought I was on top of the world, the truth is that in order to make it anywhere you have to work hard and long to get out of it what you put into it. As cliche as that may sound, it's true. 

No matter what we do in life, it's going to take work and true dedication. I know now that what I have been  seeking most my adult life hasn't been a "dream" job but instead, "the" job... and everything else will only be shown through time and continuous dedication. 

In the mean time..I continue to seek and wait. And, wait and seek. It will come. One day....

Developing Self-Worth {Faith}

I will always be the first to admit that it's been a challenge to transition from years, and years of working crazy amount of hours, crazy amount of jobs in a crazy work environment outside the home to working crazy amount of hours, crazy amount of jobs in a crazy work environment inside the home. Ha. It's true. As someone who has worked outside the home their entire life, I prayed daily to become a Stay@HomeMomma, now that it has finally happened it's been, well. Yes, Crazy. 

Stressful. Overwhelming. Unexpected. 

I didn't picture the demand, the job itself, and the amount of patience it took to stay home with a 3 year old and a 2 year old. It's been chaos. Every day a little better but definitely a new challenge as the days go by....if that makes sense. Finding a balance has been difficult but slowly I am finding a new pace of life, a new schedule and my niche within my home. 

The balance is found in preparation, growth and learning from your mistakes. I believe being pampered on the outside can be just as important as being pampered within. When we make a change to our exterior being we feel great on the inside; proud and loved. When we make a change on our inner being, it shines through to the outside. I think people notice when you get a haircut but they notice even more when you have peace and happiness on the inside.

I am what I like to call an "open-minded non-traditional Catholic". I understand all the values and morals taught but I don't like to limit myself to one set of strict views because I feel that you can miss out on something so much bigger and so much more amazing. I believe in a true blend of the old traditional views mixed with new forms of worship of praise. A balance. Never one extreme or the other. 

In my almost 32 years of life, I have always "been" a Catholic. It wasn't until I turned 24 that I knew what having faith was. It was then that I not only opened my heart but my mind to new ways of thinking. I knew I loved praying to the Virgen de Guadalupe and that I believed in Jesus and the Saints. But, the traditional way of worship and praise just didn't fulfill this seeking and thirsty little heart of mine. I dove straight into my church and became more involved that is when I started to find new ways of worship and praise that weren't the traditional nights of praying the Rosary. This time I was deep in meditation and peace that only God could bring me.

I would sit in a quiet dark church and ask Jesus to sit with me to show me His light and guide me. And, as crazy as this may sound many, many days His presence was there and I had peace and a new sense of belief.

These days. I attend mass and read my Momma Devotional Bible {Mom's Devotional Bible NIV} and I also pray day in and day out for different reason. I wear medallas de Santos and light candles. I also attend events at different churches that I know my soul will benefit from, not always Catholic churches and I definitely enjoy it. 

Just this weekend I attend the annual Women's Event at New Hope Church in Pearland. It was my 2nd year attending and the message was awesome last year it was about Marriage and Relationships. This year it was about us; as Momma's, Wives, Daughters, Sisters, etc. We are all human and we all make mistakes. We can't please everyone and as Women we need God in our daily lives to guide us and lead us onto the path that He has planned for us. I Loved it. I know I will definitely make it a yearly event. Plus, I  got to spend time with my Beautiful Amiga Yvonne from Spanglish Girl which is always fun! 

Mini-Vacation {Lake Charles, Louisiana}

This past weekend we had our first ever family mini-vacation road trip! For some reason or another in the last 2 years since my daughter was born we have not really left Houston as a family. 

My Hubby had to go to Utah last year for work and I made one long distance trip to see my Aunt who was very ill in Detroit in 2011 without my Hubby as well as two other trips; one to Arkansas for my Brother's wedding and one to Lake Charles to see my Dad with my Mom and kids.

This past weekend we made that same trip to visit my Dad only this time with my Hubby! It's only a 2 1/2 hour drive and my Dad has been coming to Houston so much that we decided to give him a little break. 

The kids always LOVE seeing their Granpa! We enjoy the trip as well, it's a nice get away without really going too far! 

Here is a re-cap of what we did. Enjoy! 

We had Crawfish at the church where my Dad attends!
{The kids were doing well until it got spicy then we had to make a mad dash for some McDonald's!}




We enjoyed Granpa's backyard and explored a little ....




We watched the only brave one run through the Spalsh Pad at the Veteran's Memorial Park.








We relaxed and enjoyed the peace.... In awe of God's Love for us.









We saw my Dad, which brings us great joy.... great Blessings.



Lake Charles was fun...can't wait for next time...

Follow me on Instagram for more picture from our road-trip {@mommaofdos }

{On Healing... }

Last week I read a devotional in my Bible and this is what I heard.... 

"Entering and accepting the pain, seeking direction through the pain and trusting that God has better plans in store....."

Lent is over but the lessons are still being learned...

God is good. I have faith. Things are shaky right now. But, I have faith..in restoration. In healing. In Love. I have faith.

God will heal and restore.

I have faith.

One day. No matter how long it takes. I pray.

{Dig Deeper} What the silence is teaching me....

I haven't always been a "person of faith" and still most days I fail at just about everything and in just about every area of my life... but one thing that I never give up on is seeking or as I have recently discovered... digging deeper. I seek faith and hope in everything because I know that those feelings come at the most unlikely times, from the most unexpected places and at times in the worse of situations.

With that said... the last few months I have been a Stay@HomeMomma and I think that some of the most difficult situations have come about....and for some reason... my ability to handle it all is slowly becoming less? Or maybe this is me becoming stronger? All I know is that for months I felt worn out and overly spent.

When I was in my 20's I fought many battles and looking back...I came out stronger than before...now in my 30's the battles are no longer visible but within. My life is good though. I don't worry about the outside world unless the outside world steps into my life... then it's on. Fighting the battles these days are taken on in a whole new way.... I am a firm believer of Prayer. Silent prayers. Or out-loud with tears... it's all I have most days...

If there is something that I have learned in the last few months as a Stay@HomeMomma is that I have/had little to no patience. You would think that as a Momma and wife I would have lots of it and maybe it's something that in the past I have taken for granted but my patience has I think grown. My "tolerance" of little everyday things has become heightened. I am more aware of the fact that I apparently am not as patient as I should be not just in general with life but as a Momma with two toddlers who love to run and never use their inside voice, as a Wife with a Hubby who works very hard outside the home, as a Friend who needs to be more supportive and encouraging, as a Job Seeker who needs to be reminded that the "dream job" is out there somewhere, as a Sister who needs to learn to just give when giving is impossible, as a Daughter who needs to love no matter what, and as a person of faith...who needs to DIG DEEPER. 

Lent is in full effect and as a person who loves to learn and grow... I have learned that you can never learn enough, and you can always GROW more. My life is NOT perfect, it's far from it. My life is not simple, it's chaos. My heart though is yearning... to dig deeper. 

The silence is great but the lessons are being stored. In a heart, a soul and a brain that will one day, soon, burst... of light and sunshine onto not just her little home deep within but for the world to see. Just because I am silent doesn't mean I am not learning, growing and yes....digging deeper.... 

"I refuse to be limited and I refuse to remain unchanged. I am indeed... changing... deep within... observing and learning.... "~Momma of Dos

{A lot of Faith} ♥

Yesterday my Sister said to me...."if it's meant to be then it will be."

So simple.

So true.

Truth.

Something I am SURE I have said to her many times or to others who are seeking. But, why is it so hard to accept that right now? I have faith that whatever is meant to be these days will be. I keep busy and fill my calendar. With my goals and my purpose. Not worrying too much about what everyone else has going on or where everyone else is in their journey of seeking, I have been there....and yes..most times...done that. Right now it's time for this Momma to seek in a different manner. Not only a Dream job but MY dream for the next 30 years and my family's future.

Years ago when I first met my Hubby I don't think I imagined my life to become, so full of LIFE. Our kids are a Blessing. Such an awesome Blessing, that at one point I didn't know if it would ever be possible to have children. At 32, I can honestly say that I have lived my life and accomplished almost everything that I have set my mind to do, small or big. Sometimes walking away from God, so far ahead that I have to stop myself and be reminded that He has been my strength. But, in the midst of it all I have never lost sight of His Love, His Wisdom and His words; which live deep inside my heart. Deep inside my soul. I knew of God as a kid, I didn't know God until I was 24. 24. I am  now 31, 32 in June. Those things, situations or circumstances that I thought were a priority then, now sit on the back burner.

I have found myself, in many dark corners and through many heartfelt and horribly shed tears. But, through it all I have remained. In faith. In light. And, open to the possibilities ahead. So, why is it so hard to accept where I am right now? In this quiet place. Still. Married to a great and supportive Man who yes...puts up with all my crazy antics and blog posts, Ha. Ha. A Momma of DOS very active, very hyper, somewhat spoiled {ok, very SPOILED}, tantrum throwing and demanding children who never use their inside voice and who consume my every being in the best way possible; who are teaching me patience and about using my inside voice. {True story; my son asked me not to SPEAK SO LOUDLY,or yell, at him and to instead speak to him in a calm inside voice....convinced that he would listen to me, I tried it and he still doesn't listen to me, boys... Oyi.}

Be still.

Waiting.

It's hard for me.

But, I have faith.

I remain.

God knows when and how. 

And, no matter how difficult it is to be still...I pray for His peace and patience while He works on my prayers which I know He has heard very loud, dramatically and clear. {I am an active pray-er!} Ha. God sees my heart. He knows my heart. And, I pray that He can hear my heart.... shouting out to Him. In every way possible.

Psalm 46:10

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” 

{Children} #stoptheviolence #prayer

Speaking life, truth and positivity into my children's lives is so important to me.

In the midst of the horrible tragedy on Friday morning in CT, all I could think about is my kids. My home. This is where the teaching begins. Right now my kids are little, they are overactive and they are, well, kids filled with tantrums and outburst. My Husband and I are fairly new at this but we have attempted to take on a different approach with every tantrum. Out of frustration in the past I have had different reactions, these days I realize that if I keep cool, calm and collected {my Husband usually is} then my children will listen to me better. In return I pray that they too are learning that reacting in a cool, calm and collected way is the way to approach most situations in life. To keep a level head and to stay positive with your words and your actions.

The teaching, I know, begins at home. It's what my mind kept telling me on Friday morning and throughout the day. Respect. Respect those around you, especially your elders as long as they never harm you physically. In which case it is OK, to tell them to stop and leave you alone and to tell Momma and Daddy about it. {We are teaching my kids who is allowed in their personal space, it's a must!}

My Husband and I have vowed to stay on the same terms with every situation. If he says no, I say no. If he says it's ok then I say it's ok, all within reason. With every situation we attempt to understand and explain to my son and daughter and be reasonable with them, because even at a young age, they are more than absorbing everything we say, do and how we react. We've learned that the hard way... i.e. curse words.

Sometimes though, I do feel that even though the parents of some of these people who commit horrific acts are as cool, calm and collected and attempt to vocalize their concerns with their children, there comes a point when actions and words become something faint and these troubled men and women, will do what they want regardless. I know the importance of speaking up, speaking to my children about every aspect of their lives because my Momma did that with us and she still does. No matter how uncomfortable the conversation got my Momma never let me leave the room feeling confused or with doubts. And, I always knew how much she loved me and that every action she took was for my benefit and because she loved me! Even to this day. 

We will attempt to capture their minds and dig deep into their hearts to open up about life, outcomes and staying healthy not only physically but mentally as well, but what happens when these kids do what they want anyway. Have we failed? Where have we failed?

All, I know is that I vow to not only pray boldly for my children on a daily basis but to show up in a bold manner in their lives and in ever single aspect of their lives. My children are my world and I don't want them to harm or be harmed.

Prayer. Counseling. Respect.

::Dear God, Teach me to be the parent my children need in their lives and to allow them to grow with each experience as I guide them through life and you guide our families and community. I pray that you protect my children, keep them safe and shield them from harm. I know that life is filled with failures, doubt and disappointments but PLEASE dear Lord, teach my children that there is hope, a shinning light and Your Love NO MATTER WHAT or how many times they fall, and that You and us as their parents will be there to help them get back up and on track! Allow my children to see the good in people but to be cautious of evil that surrounds us on a daily basis, never to be blinded by ignorance, never to be so naive that they don't sense danger or people who want to take advantage of them, and to always be aware that Jesus is the way and the path to take when in doubt. I pray, in Jesus name. Amen. Thank You, Lord!::

{Houston Area Women's Center} #stoptheviolence

Many may not know this about me but I have witnessed violence in the home first hand. {I don't plan on giving out details, when it happened I told many people in hopes that it would ease the pain, I went to church, I spoke to my Boyfriend-He is now my Husband, I wrote about it, I cried about it, I thought about dying at my own hands over it. It was not the best time in my life but I also don't want to harm those whom I love with details or remembering what was. I lived through it. I survived and so did she.}

I was going to post about this regardless but with what happened on Friday I decided to make it a mini-series on my Blog. #stoptheviolence

Domestic Violence of any form is a difficult and tramautizing experience. Trust me. I have been there. In the dark with the thought of, what if I just stop breathing, it will stop the pain. After years of it and fed up, I was grown and after feeling powerless at one point in my life, I had suddenly gained strenght, wisdom, age and courage. Courgae that was built after years of horrifiying stories, first hand accounts, and one call to the HAWC. I stood in a room, with the adrelanie rush and telling my story of intervention, prevention and attempting to save a life. I then found myself in a waiting room on Montrose. Could this be real? ME. I was living this. With a loved one. So much pain. So many terrify events. The emotional. The physical. The abuse on so many levels. The pain on a level I never knew I could reach.

After days, weeks and months of healing...now years... the pain, empowerment. The memories, my strength and my courage. I will never, NEVER allow this to happen to a loved one EVER. Again.

Which is why I am here now. Telling you that if you are suffering ANY kind of abuse you too can overcome, survive and heal.

3 weeks ago I was invited to attend the taping of Great Day Houston. I sat in the audience and a first hand account of what live TV is like. It was exciting and an awesome opportunity. But, I wasn't sure if anyone else was there for the same reason that I was. I had survived violence in the home. I was there to assist in representing the Houston Area Women's Center, we wore red. The color of pain and hope when you live through and survive what I have see, heard and lived. I felt honored. Humbled. And, an amazingly overwhelming feeling to have been able to put YEARS of violence behind me. Years of silence in the open. It's a freeing sitiuation.










I am here today to ask you to donate and help in any way possible for an extremenly good cause. One that saved my life and that of my loved ones. One that has restored my faith in life, love and marriage.

I thank the Houston Area Women's Center for one day holding our hand and giving us hope.

I thank Frida for the opportunity and allowing me to be a part of something so great and simple as to sit and represent a cause and for a place that one day harvested safety and new hope for those of us who have lost it.

Go to the following links to help the HAWC::HERE:: and ::HERE::
Go to the following link to learn more about Frida ::HERE::

If you need help getting out of a violent situation and are scared to move forward know that the person hurting you will never hurt you if you stop giving them the power to do so. ::CLICK HERE FOR HELP::

Prayers for those in pain.

Momma Disclosure: This is not a compensated OR sponsored post. This is however a subject that is very near and dear to my heart which is why I chose to share it.  The above statements are both true and actual experiences.

To Be Thankful ♥

Hello All.

It's Monday!

And, guess what? I survived Thanksgiving.

We were not ready, the day came too soon, but still we made it out alive! And, with lots of great memories that I am more than Thankful for!

The day started off slow and then friends, family, food and laughter overcame our home! It was an amazing time. My kids had too much fun, we ate too much food and we can't wait for it again NEXT year! Ha.

God has definitely Blessed our little family this year in many ways! I know that we should be thankful everyday of the year but I like Thanksgiving in particular and I see it as a day to reflect on the past 11 months and await the next month to end and a NEW year to begin! 2013 will be here before we know it. And, this year I am not only thankful for life itself but for everything good and bad that 2012 brought me. The good always outweighing the bad.

We are ready for a new beginning for a fresh start and Thanksgiving is that link between those two locations...the now and the future. I thank God everyday for the health and safety of my family and the strength and faith that He has rooted in our hearts! We are transformed and Blessed because of Him. This year has proven to be a challenge and only because of Him and His grace have we made it through it all. 

I hope that your Thanksgiving was filled with Blessings, reflections and new beginnings. Here is a little picture re-cap of ours!

Pictures are in no particular order and include our Thanksgiving feast at Santi's school! Enjoy!!

As you can see it was just the right amount of heart, food and holiday cheer! Counting down to Christmas and New Years!

Happy Thanksgiving from Team Gomez!!!

{I fail. DAILY.}

Trust me. I am human. I know that I am not perfect. I know that I fail daily. In various areas of my life...including posting a Blog post everyday this month. I know that because of my in-formalities, lack of commitment to places, situations and plans I probably disappoint people on a daily basis. Truth is. I love my family and friends but life is life and it happens not on my time or when I want it but when God has it planned. And, the biggest truth is that like most everyone else on the face of this earth. I am not perfect. ::INSERT SHOCKED FACE HERE::

John 8:7-9

New International Version (NIV)

⁷ When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” ⁸ Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
⁹ At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there.

I think people tend to forget this. Trust me. I forget it all the time. Judgment is harsh. I know my shortcomings, faults and sins. I don't need a constant reminder or loss of friendship to remind me of them. Like I said. I fail daily.  I know this. The drama remains and builds and I try to evade it but again. I am not perfect. And, even tough I know that words are harsher than stones...I.fail.daily.

Ephesians 4:29

New International Version (NIV)

²⁹ Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Posting this is hard for me. I admit. I am not perfect. My words don't always build up and yes, I will probably disappoint many. I regret the hurt, the distance and the pain but I remain in Jesus and I repent. And, I pray that I am forgiven. 

People can say or think what they may about me as a person, as a Momma, as a friend, and as a sinner. But, I have peace because I know when I am wrong and I am not afraid to admit it. I fail daily. I am not perfect. And, my name is Connie.

Today, I pray for peace in my heart and those hearts of people who know their shortcomings, faults and sins and can admit it not only to themselves but to God that they{we} are wrong and that we repent and want to move forward. I pray that we are forgiven and that we can find peace in who we are and how we were created.

I know I fail daily but I am willing and trying to change it.

{Also, I am linking up with The Foley Fam-Unedited; click on the button below to show Kristine some MommaBlogLove}

 

{On having Numero Tres....A KINDA of a Sequel post}

Life as a family of four is just starting to sync up. The stars are beginning to align and I am steps away from the heavens opening up and God saying... "Connie you are awesome!"

And, on days when my kids are being sweet, playing nice and loving their Momma.... I feel like a Super Momma! And I think ...bring it on baby numero tres!

Then there are moments when my kids are punching each other under the kitchen table and yelling bloody murder as I attempt to have a decent grown up conversation with my Hubby about his day and my day with the beautiful kids fighting to the death at our feet. Seriously. Who knew a 19 month could karate chop and that a 3 year old would use his almighty strength to sucker punch his sister in the face. Really. Wow. {trust me. they are both very tough. no one is ever seriously injured. once they hurt each others feelings they hug and make nice.}

Trust me. I don't feel like a new baby is in order when I am trying to eat, read, sit, watch T.V. or doing anything normal and relaxing and both of my kids are calling my name 30 {million} times, cause they know my name and it's "hello. mami. hello. connie. look at me, mami.", when I finally turn they are doing some obscure thing like cutting paper or dumping their diaper on the kitchen floor right.after.I.mopped. Because they do. It's my life.

And then. There are times.Where Santi sits for moments at a time playing, watching his movies, coloring on my walls.... Ha. But, it's as if he is out growing the I want to be all over the house and destroy era. As for Cami, when her brother is not around and they are not pushing, pulling and punching one another, she also has a realm of calm and peace like no other. I look at them hug and kiss each other, play together in peace because it does tend to happen, occasionally. Or when they come to me with hugs and kisses. When they say "love you too mami." or pray with me. It just feels right. It just seems like yes, we will be OK and a third baby...may mean more chaos but it will also multiply ALL of the LOVE and Blessings already in our home.

I know that them being little won't last forever and Santi and Cami are growing faster than I would like.  I just don't know how to make time stop. How to make more time to love, hug and live in peace.

My Hubby has this fantasy {have you seen the Prince of Persia? Or Legends of the Fall? that one has 3 boys but yeah, it's his thing.} that he is destined to have TWO sons. So, he thinks that if I get pregnant, we WILL have another boy and his name will be....Sebastian. It's who he claims we are missing. And, he's taught the kids to ask me.... "Mom where's Sebastian?" And, it totally melts my heart....

Source: Google {Prince of Persia/Disney}

When Ricardo and I first got married we said 3 was a well rounded number but these days we think of finances, education, sanity...HA. And, most days we simply think of God, Faith and Family. The notion that everything WILL be OK, and that God wants this for us... but I hesitate. I think about it and I wonder.....

Could I? Could we? But, how? And, right now... I just don't know.