Friday, February 3, 2012

{La Hermana} ♥

Last month I wrote about my role as a Wife, to a student. This month I want to explore my role as an Hermana.

I am the oldest of four. {2 girls and 2 boys} No biggie I know others have 4 plus, plus siblings, I admire you.

Ever since I was younger I was "responsible" for my siblings. It's a big role for a young girl but it happens... you become your siblings keeper. You end up stressed and worried about them. Lots of pressure during my teenage years but I endured. I embraced the role and I think it helped me in becoming the Momma of Dos I am today.

The role of the older sister is not perfect. As a human being I have made mistakes and attempted to stay on track for my siblings to have a good example of a Sister. I have tried as much as I can to be strong, stable and accountable. You attempt to give your siblings space, room to make their own mistakes, so that they may learn what God has intended for them to  learn but still you attempt to provide protection, as much as you can. It's a difficult role, you are not their Momma yet they look to you for advice. I think that because of that, we can be a little more real and raw since we know there may not be any "real" boundaries of respect but as age comes so does wisdom and respect and space just grows. You learn when to speak up and when to be quiet. You are not their Momma but still you have advice. 

For years, I think that my role was more of caring and protecting. Then I slipped into the selfish years when I attempted to create and make my own little life and to grow a family of my this point I think that the distance grew between my siblings and myself as the age difference began to well, make a difference. Then came the years when we all grew up. It was weird. It was tough. We grew apart and close all at once.

We overcame those days of pain and struggle as a family and became individuals.

Strong. Learning. Growing. Loving. Creating. Believing. Leading. Abiding. Guiding.  

Today, we have a loving friendship of space, respect and agreeing to disagree episodes. It's a difficult role being an older sister but I feel like I have embraced it. I pray that my siblings see me as a person who they love and respect. I love all 3 of them and I know that when it comes down to it, they will all be OK.

Our childhood memories, pains and struggles fade into yesterday and our lives as partners, parents, and adults are prominent. We will be OK, or so I pray. Our upbringing has been a trying one..but we have endured... we have overcome...or so I pray.

I also pray for my son, as an older brother. That he may feel that sense of responsibility for his sister but only to a certain extent.

As an older sister I have learned a lot about parenting and life. Being an older sibling in general is a tough role..but someones got to do it, right?!

At my graduation from the University of Houston, 2005 {Taken by Amelia Garcia}

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