Thursday, January 31, 2013

{A lot of Faith} ♥

Yesterday my Sister said to me...."if it's meant to be then it will be."

So simple.

So true.


Something I am SURE I have said to her many times or to others who are seeking. But, why is it so hard to accept that right now? I have faith that whatever is meant to be these days will be. I keep busy and fill my calendar. With my goals and my purpose. Not worrying too much about what everyone else has going on or where everyone else is in their journey of seeking, I have been there....and yes..most times...done that. Right now it's time for this Momma to seek in a different manner. Not only a Dream job but MY dream for the next 30 years and my family's future.

Years ago when I first met my Hubby I don't think I imagined my life to become, so full of LIFE. Our kids are a Blessing. Such an awesome Blessing, that at one point I didn't know if it would ever be possible to have children. At 32, I can honestly say that I have lived my life and accomplished almost everything that I have set my mind to do, small or big. Sometimes walking away from God, so far ahead that I have to stop myself and be reminded that He has been my strength. But, in the midst of it all I have never lost sight of His Love, His Wisdom and His words; which live deep inside my heart. Deep inside my soul. I knew of God as a kid, I didn't know God until I was 24. 24. I am  now 31, 32 in June. Those things, situations or circumstances that I thought were a priority then, now sit on the back burner.

I have found myself, in many dark corners and through many heartfelt and horribly shed tears. But, through it all I have remained. In faith. In light. And, open to the possibilities ahead. So, why is it so hard to accept where I am right now? In this quiet place. Still. Married to a great and supportive Man who yes...puts up with all my crazy antics and blog posts, Ha. Ha. A Momma of DOS very active, very hyper, somewhat spoiled {ok, very SPOILED}, tantrum throwing and demanding children who never use their inside voice and who consume my every being in the best way possible; who are teaching me patience and about using my inside voice. {True story; my son asked me not to SPEAK SO LOUDLY,or yell, at him and to instead speak to him in a calm inside voice....convinced that he would listen to me, I tried it and he still doesn't listen to me, boys... Oyi.}

Be still.


It's hard for me.

But, I have faith.

I remain.

God knows when and how. 

And, no matter how difficult it is to be still...I pray for His peace and patience while He works on my prayers which I know He has heard very loud, dramatically and clear. {I am an active pray-er!} Ha. God sees my heart. He knows my heart. And, I pray that He can hear my heart.... shouting out to Him. In every way possible.

    Psalm 46:10
    He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” 


Mommy said...

I just love your open honest perspective. Being in my 30s has brought about the same self reflection and focus on the future. Great post.

Unknown said...

It is always so hard to be quiet and still. In this time, take the time to reflect. Take time to see the bigger picture. visualize what you want. And find peace in knowing that it will happen. God is good, Connie, and he will give you exactly what you need. *hugs*

Unknown said...

Time will tell amiga! Be uplifted in prayer un abrazote!

Casey Ayala (DreamTree Photography) said...

So agree with your friend Melissa! I feel just like you... I dunno what it is about this year, but its hit me, and I'm ready to hit the pavement, but not sure when or how... I know God will light that lamp and guide my steps... just a matter of "being still" and patient. =] Love you!

Connie Leon said...

Thank you everyone for allowing me to share my feelings! As one fellow Blogger stated this is cheaper than therapy! And, I have made some very good relationships from this experience!!!! THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR BEING HERE!!!