::5 Ways to overcome a Challenge:: #WednesdayWisdom

I recently became aware that my coping skills are great, except when I'm under true pressure and stress, go figure! Challenges come in many forms; you can be overworked, having too much on your plate, dealing with difficult people, and really just about anything in life can become a challenge.  If you read about my mental breakdown in 2012 here, then you know how well I handled stress then. I've thankfully grown so much since then; mentally, physically, emotionally. And, I am now able to walk myself back into a good place.

Creating these strengths within myself has been vital to my overall success. 

Some of the best ways that I have learned to deal with it are as follows:

1) Talk it out- Like a really raw and serious talk with someone who will be REAL and RAW. For me, that person is my Husband. He tells me the things, I don't want to hear. And, we all need that one person. Who isn't going to tell you that, it's all going to be OK. Because sometimes, it's not going to be okay, and that is also OK. If that makes sense. (Bear with me here.) But, you want to have that one person who you can truly express your frustration too and will help you talk it out so that you can think of a solution. Sometimes, that person is a therapist. And, that is OK too.

I have had the ability to get therapy and it was truly freeing and very helpful! 

2) Have a moment (melt-down if you will)- the release is needed. A good friend told me a long time ago, "Connie, I'm going to let you have your pity party, but then I'm going to need you to put your big girl panties back on and get over it."  It's been the best most memorable pep-talk of my life. One, it came from a very loving place. She meant well and I knew it. She was allowing me to "have my moment" but then giving me the motivation to realize, I could get past it. Sometimes, it's ok to have that moment but don't give up. Keep pushing forward and you will see that it's so worth it.

Also, a rule of thumb. I have my meltdowns, alone, in a quiet place where I can truly reflect. 

3) Don't be a Victim- Accept that you too have faults and are allowing these things get to you. There is nothing worse than denial. And, don't get me wrong. I have been there. I pretend that everyone else has issues and I'm the victim they prey on. Nope. A lot of times I am my own issue. Whatever it is, I have been there. We all have faults. Instead of focusing on a "woe me mentality" push forward and think about the solutions and positive. It's often hard to see these when we are in the middle of something bad but trust me, steps 1 and 2 are a huge help.

Don't be a victim, be victorious! 

4) Care but not too much- I hate this advice. Because I am a person or was one, who cared so much all the time about what people thought about me or if I was playing nice. Well. (and, it's easier said than done.) Try not to care so much. Care enough that you know hard times can come, bad things happen and you will make it through. But, don't dwell on the feeling so much that it consumes you. As an overthinker, thoughts, and what-ifs slowly eat at my soul. I know I'm weird. But, it's true. Over time I have learned not to allow this to hinder my existence or to slow my progress. You should never allow emotions of what others could think of you, overwhelm you this much. Don't get me wrong, it happens, but push past it anyway!

Push through the emotion... 

5) Move forward As that famed Ice Queen (and my 6-year-old daughter) would say, LET IT GO... LET IT GO..- The hardest part of getting pas hard times, for me, is letting it go. Not everything has a solution or endpoint. Not everything will. Knowing that sometimes words are left unspoken, through are held back and people change, is the key to moving forward. Being able to let things go and again not allowing them to dwell or sit in your mind or heart is very important. Very important. Let it go, more so for you than for the situation or person.

And, remember that you can and WILL overcome these challenges. You can do this Momma!

Remeber that troubles are temporary.... live in peace with yourself and who you are... 

{Dia de Los Muertos} Culture Experience

When I was younger I remember building an altar around the tombs of our family members who were no longer with us. We would lay out picture of us with them and their favorite foods in their honor. Our belief was that on the Day of the Dead, their souls would come back to be amongst us and to enjoy our offerings. We would gather late at night and say a rosary in their remembrance, bring them flowers and celebrate their lives as we remembered them here on earth.

As a young child or teen I didn't think anything of it and wasn't even scared to participate in this late night stroll through the rundown cemeteries in Reynosa.  It wasn't just a tradition, it was part of our everyday. My Grandfather always says.... "no le tengas miedo a los muertos, te le mas miedo a los vivos...."

It's these small memories that make me who I am....it's these small memories that I want to pass on to my children... but like most people I am a visual person and I have a feeling my kids will be like that as well. Which is why I want to every year build on what they see and experience. If we can't go to Mexico then I want to bring Mexico to them. Huge? No, just some effort! I realize that the only way that our culture will not be lost in their generation is by making these small connections to big traditions.

This year I decided that we would start our Holiday's off by learning what a Dia de los Muertos altar was. So, I took my kids to see the beautiful exhibits over at Meca, here in Houston. It was small step for this Momma pero un paso mas hace nuestras tradiciones.

We had fun! See for yourself.....

{The Beautiful young lady in the picture was my lovely assistant for the day...her name is Erica and she is my Hubby's cousin. I love familia!}

{M.I.A.} on the B.L.O.G

One of my biggest challenges {motivations} for 2012 is fueled by "that" word... you know the one.... the "C" word...

Cha-Cha-CHHHHANGE.

Change requires a lot of different steps {& personal effort}. I think.

First off, you have to realize what it is you want to change {one thing at a time cause it doesn't happen over night and if you put too much on your plate... you will end up overwhelmed. Just sayin'}

Once you know you want to change something you are fully admitting and taking responsibility for that "issue" in your life, that "trouble spot" if you will {these spots sometimes hinder your life in big ways and you don't even know it}.

Moving On.

You then put thought into the change; device a plan...an outline, goals, to-do list in order to accomplish this change. Example: I am fat. {I am. Not being mean just real!} I know I am fat. I accept it. I want to eat better and exercise {definitely has NOT happened BY.THE.WAY.} My plan: I will buy more fruits and veggies and create a whole new eating schedule and meal plans. I will replace all evil with good. {Like drink lots of water instead of Dr. Pepper all day! Just sayin'...} I will in addition make it an absolute point to exercise at least TWICE  a week {cause we don't want to get overwhelmed ::wink wink::}.

So, once I have thought about it and said, "hmmm this is what I will do." I then put my words in action. Make it happen. Do what I said I would do...but then, I am set back..placed right back at step one..thinking..mediating. Deciding that what I am doing is really good for me, that it's what I really want...in all, talking it over with not only yourself but God {and your Bestie, she will have some real insight!}. I know what I want to do, but what will come from it, aside from a killer bod, I mean...health and  inner strength! What will I do to make my change last, how will I keep up with what I have learned and continue to apply it in my everyday life? What does it really mean to me? Who is here for support? {Support and prayer to me is a big part of all my current changes..more so prayer...}

It's this time, this mediation time that requires...well time. Hence the M.I.A. I am finding myself going back to what I said I would do more this year...and yes..I have fallen off the bandwagon a bit but I don't care and I don't want to give up! I insist that change, CHANGE is what God has placed in my heart! Deeply rooted and planted...waiting to be watered and fertilized for TRUE growth that will endure and overcome... any stormy day!

But, no worries... I will overcome and move on... move forward and attempt to keep up...2012 is the YEAR!

I can feel it....

{It's happens...} Life.

This is what happens when you spend a few days without posting..lots of post come to mind... 

As part of my Non-New Years Resolutions, I decided to de-clutter, in so many ways.

One item that I thought of was my fridge. It becomes living proof that a busy family occupies this space! Ha.

Throughout the year calendars, invitations, birthday cards, pictures, children's art work and other useful and very important documents get magnetically adhered to the fridge. I love it. So, I cleared it up for 2012's life to happen...

Here is our before picture {believe it or not this is clutter free}:

JANUARY 2012 {Before}

To find my "NITCH"....or Not?

As you all may remember I was on maternity leave not too long ago....a week ago to be exact...

During those 8 weeks, I was able to have a dream come true, although short-lived, it was much needed and definitely appreciated and taken advantage of!

I was indeed a STAY-AT-HOME MOMMA (or SAHM)! And, was totally rocking at it, if I may say so myself! (Toot-toot, Ha. Ha.)

Then....as I mentioned before...

Life tends to happen and my little hot pink fluffy magic rug was pulled from under my big hope-filled feet (yes, my feet have hopes too! ha.) ...and I totally missed the pillow (meaning my feelings hit the pavement)...Eeeeek.

During those 8 weeks, I developed and almost fully mastered....being a Crafty Momma...and you know what? I loved it.

I was creating, and following through with my endless possibilities. I loved it.

But, I know there are plans that I can make..but they are not for me to control. {Trust me, this is NOT  a complaint post....trust me.}

Well during my first week back at work, I remembered that place I had been in not too long ago.

A place where I dreamed of being a corporate Momma with an outside the home job and pant suits [ YES, PANT SUITS! If I had that kind of fun, lunch meeting, corporate type job and the money to buy me some cute pant suits! {Ha.}] None the less, I was there. That place where I didn't mind being that 9 to 5 Mom that works and runs home to be a Mom and Wife to a busy afternoon family.

Then, those 8 weeks came, and for a short time, everything was perfect. I was THAT Momma in that OTHER place, that hides deep in the back of my silly little heart....the Full-Time, Stay-at-Home-Momma, with the fun and lovable and most adorable children, who cleans, cooks, reads, watches "The Talk" at 1pm and Oprah at 4pm [before she decided to leave TV!].

AND YES...WHO CREATES....

Who shines at being a MOM! 

Who LOVES being a WIFE.

That Mom that after 8 weeks of chaos thinks, yes...let me take on just a bit more....I don't have an outside the home job..I think I can handle it. 

But, then.... THIS place comes back. The place where responsibility reigns, and food needs to be put on the table, where I want to take my kids to the zoo, museum, and circus without having to really deal with a budget. This place where I have to wake up, get dressed, pull my kids out of bed and get them ready for another set of arms to hold, to love and to care for.

It's hard. I yearn. I hurt. I envy. I cry. I think...no one knows my pain.... 

And, after the pain subdues..I search...for THAT place again. 

That's where I am...

Seeking... 

{My heart hurts at the thought of my children not being around me all day.... ::deep sigh::}

But, I know.

That THIS place...has a purpose...a reason... a season...a time...

In the beginning of time….

[This Post was written in Nov 2009, but still very accurate]

I really wish I would have kept a written journal of the last 8 weeks…. it’s not  a blur, but it’s soo much that I can’t remember! Ricardo and I felt like we were on that TLC show “Bringing Home Baby”…it was very unrealistic. To know that THIS baby is yours and that you are experiencing what all these other first time parents have, is just mind-blowing.

Recovery was very frustrating. Trying to jump out of bed as my baby wailed that he was hungry,dirty, needed to be burped, wet, hot, cold or just needed to cuddle (this last part cracks my husband up). 

The sleeping…well for the first 2 weeks not only did I not know anything about the outside world but I also didn’t remember what daylight looked like. Only waking to feed, change, burp, or clean my child. I slept as many hours as he did and our usual time to get up was 3pm. Our days would just begin and soon after, it was night and time to go back to bed.

The first two to fours weeks we spent in hibernation. The entire family(Ricardo, Santiago and myself)! We only left the house if needed, at least the baby and I. Ricardo was our errand boy, as if we were part of some secret cult that only sent out for rations once a month. He ran all the errands, paid all the bills and helped me with EVERYTHING that I could not physically do.

To say the least 8 weeks later my husband is burnt out. But, here is the real insanity, Ricardo was laid off one week before Santiago was born and well he has not found a job. Ricardo often joked about how I would finish my studies and become a doctor so that he could become a Stay at Home Dad, a Mr. Mom if you will. Well after 10 years his dream has come true..I am not a doctor but he is a Stay at Home Dad and despite the fact that I thought I would end up staying home I had to return to work only 7 weeks after Santiago was born to help keep our home afloat.

So, now he is getting a taste of what it’s like to be me. Don’t get me wrong…I am still me…I worry, clean my house, help with the cooking, do laundry and now take care of my baby…all after a full 8 hrs of work! And after only 8 days of it, he is convinced that sometimes your “dreams” are a bit over-rated. {Ha.}

In this attempt to relate, discuss, transcend and share my life with the world from this day on I will begin to blog about our little life. Typing up stories about motherhood,being a working mom, Ricardo’s progress as he finds work and finishes school and about life in general. {2011 NOTE: WOW. I have kept this up!!!!} I hope that this new chapter in our lives interest you as much or more as the last one did.

In all yes motherhood is a challenge, being a working mom and wife is not easy but I love the two men in my life and I WOULDN’T CHANGE IT FOR THE WORLD. {2011 NOTE: I STILL SAY AND THINK THIS!!!!!!}

What is to come ONLY GOD knows and as I hope you know my FAITH is all I have, my opinions about it and how I convey it can be strong…but that’s the only way I know how. In no way should anyone think that I am ever trying to impose my beliefs on them, you are your own person and nothing I say should change what you believe or who you are, unless that’s what you want. {2011 NOTE: I STILL SAY AND THINK THIS!!!!!!}

God Bless and Enjoy the ride….we sure are!