One Word ::Instagram::

The week before New Year's is a busy one. People are seeking resolutions to be made and goals to keep up with. I am no different. I seek inspiration, new motivation to propel me through another year. 

If you know me, you know that Instagram is one of my favorite places. I follow several like-minded Bloggers and now Fitness Momma's. I find all kind of new information. I use a lot of hash-tags and I love it. 

Well a few days before January 1, I found an Instagram Momma who posted about "One Word". It's a devotional on the YouVersion App or website. I looked into it and I read that when I found my "one word", I would know. I didn't believe it. But, it has happened. You allow this word to transform you over the next 365 {now 364} days. 

The weekend before January 1 I went out to eat with my family. While there the chaos unfolded, as usual, my unruly toddlers took over our dinner and I couldn't find order no matter how upset I became. Instead I ate my dinner choking back tears and with feelings of having failed that night, like many other nights. I am pretty resilient and I shook it off. 

Then over the next few days, like almost every American, maybe person around the word, I began to reflect on 2013 and the days to come in 2014. I read one night on Instagram, "some years are questions. others are answers." Last year no doubt was difficult, a lot happened. No job, illnesses, death, and moments of uncertainty. I allowed many people and situations to take me to a place of bitterness and to steal my joy. Not because I was jealous or not happy for other people's success but because I felt as if people around us were not happy for our small or big successes and maybe even wished we would fail. 

As much as we want our Social Media appearance to be equal to our real lives, it hardly ever seems that way. I attempt to be real and post most of our failures for others to relate to and learn from. But, at the same time I don't want to be a Debbie Downer who only has complaining and un-happy moments to share, who does? Which is probably why my Husband has this idea that other's think we are perfect. No matter how many times I repeat it, doesn't seem to sink in. We are NOT perfect, far from it. But, we try everyday to wake up and get this life right. 

Now the reflection: What do I want to do differently in 2014? There have been many moments when I can't relax. I can't get comfortable in my own situation. Not because of myself or my kids, or my Husband but because of those around me. What will they think? What will they say? How harsh will they judge me as a Momma, as a Wife, as an employee, as a person, as a writer.... etc. Then one night as I read through a devotional it happened. My word. "My word" for 2014 had come to me and I knew it was MY word. 

To seek it in every moment of chaos. To be reminded that no matter what or how bad the situation is we should always remain. It was there. I felt it and I loved it. I hope that for the next 364 days I can embrace it and allow it to transform me. So that 364 days from now I can say I had the best year because of this word.... 

PEACE. 

Peace in who I am. 

Peace in where I am going. 

Peace in where I have come from. 

Peace in how far I have already traveled. 

Peace in the moments of chaos. 

Peace no matter who is watching. 

Peace. {And hope that this word will lead to better things.}

What about you? What has been your reflection and answer for 2014??

Early {New} Year Re-solutions

So, you thought 2013 would be a year full of purpose and direction and it's now October and you can't seem to see your vision. But, why? No worries, re-direct and get it together!

I had many goals for this year. Sure most of them were accomplished and maybe slightly re-directed but honestly sometimes life is life and it just doesn't happen how you envisioned. Well, now is the time to start re-thinking those goals for the rest of this year. And yes, why not for 2014? Trust me, it will be here before we know it. It’s never too early to start thinking about what we want for ourselves.

 

A few ways that I plan on getting back on track are:

Re-Organizing~ I started my year as a Stay@HomeMomma and then converted back to being a WorkingOutsidetheHomeMomma so my every day has been flipped up-side down! It's been almost 5 months and I think I am finally finding a new balance. Schedules are falling into place. Energy and motivation are finally back. My best advice; don't take on too much and when you feel overwhelmed take a break! 

Re-Thinking~ I am going to go over my goals and re-think, re-evaluate and re-prioritize what I feel needs to get done to accomplish some of my personal, home and blogging goals! I think everything in life can be re-written no need to get flustered or upset...just re-think it! 

Take Action~ After I am done re-organizing myself and re-thinking what and how things will be done the rest of the year and in 2014; then I will definitely be set to TAKE ACTION! I want to not only be a person of words but also of actions! 

What about you? Have you thought about way to start over and start planning for next year?!

Developing Self-Worth {Career}

The other day I wrote about my faith and how much I have grown and learned over the years. Today, I want to tackle the Career aspect of Developing Self-Worth.

I have had a pretty good range of experiences in my life. From cleaning houses in the Summer when I was in High School with my Momma and my Tia to working in a Downtown office for corporate America. I had never really been without work. Or never really had to "find" a job. Most my positions were obtained because I knew someone. 

The last 6 months have definitely been an experience, not just the Staying@ Home part but the job seeking and seeking my "dream" job. When I was younger my ambitions were limitless. I wanted it all. The perfect job with the best salary and the best boss, with all the amenities and yes, my own corner office in a high rise building. Truth is, who doesn't! Then I started looking for this job and though I am sure that it is out there...I realized what I am really after is environment, flexibility and appreciation. For a company to capture my heart. To feel an excitement that I have not felt in years. 

Truth is. My dream job is one that I can learn and grow in. No matter how long it takes me. If the "amenities" come with it, then so be it. I just realized that companies these days can really make you doubt your self-worth and over all {monetary} worth. I know it shouldn't be all about the money but as a growing family we definitely have to calculate all of the necessities. And, ultimately as individuals we know how much we are worth. We also know the amount of work that it has taken us to be where we are. 

I think that overall if a job is good to you and takes your family into consideration and values your time spent with them then that to me can ultimately become your "dream" job, in the making. It doesn't have to be in a "perfect" place, with "perfect" people and "perfect" circumstances...it can be just about anywhere and I doubt it has to be fancy or of "high prestige". We are who we are because of what we make out of our own unique situation.

When I received my college diploma I thought I was on top of the world, the truth is that in order to make it anywhere you have to work hard and long to get out of it what you put into it. As cliche as that may sound, it's true. 

No matter what we do in life, it's going to take work and true dedication. I know now that what I have been  seeking most my adult life hasn't been a "dream" job but instead, "the" job... and everything else will only be shown through time and continuous dedication. 

In the mean time..I continue to seek and wait. And, wait and seek. It will come. One day....

{A lot of Faith} ♥

Yesterday my Sister said to me...."if it's meant to be then it will be."

So simple.

So true.

Truth.

Something I am SURE I have said to her many times or to others who are seeking. But, why is it so hard to accept that right now? I have faith that whatever is meant to be these days will be. I keep busy and fill my calendar. With my goals and my purpose. Not worrying too much about what everyone else has going on or where everyone else is in their journey of seeking, I have been there....and yes..most times...done that. Right now it's time for this Momma to seek in a different manner. Not only a Dream job but MY dream for the next 30 years and my family's future.

Years ago when I first met my Hubby I don't think I imagined my life to become, so full of LIFE. Our kids are a Blessing. Such an awesome Blessing, that at one point I didn't know if it would ever be possible to have children. At 32, I can honestly say that I have lived my life and accomplished almost everything that I have set my mind to do, small or big. Sometimes walking away from God, so far ahead that I have to stop myself and be reminded that He has been my strength. But, in the midst of it all I have never lost sight of His Love, His Wisdom and His words; which live deep inside my heart. Deep inside my soul. I knew of God as a kid, I didn't know God until I was 24. 24. I am  now 31, 32 in June. Those things, situations or circumstances that I thought were a priority then, now sit on the back burner.

I have found myself, in many dark corners and through many heartfelt and horribly shed tears. But, through it all I have remained. In faith. In light. And, open to the possibilities ahead. So, why is it so hard to accept where I am right now? In this quiet place. Still. Married to a great and supportive Man who yes...puts up with all my crazy antics and blog posts, Ha. Ha. A Momma of DOS very active, very hyper, somewhat spoiled {ok, very SPOILED}, tantrum throwing and demanding children who never use their inside voice and who consume my every being in the best way possible; who are teaching me patience and about using my inside voice. {True story; my son asked me not to SPEAK SO LOUDLY,or yell, at him and to instead speak to him in a calm inside voice....convinced that he would listen to me, I tried it and he still doesn't listen to me, boys... Oyi.}

Be still.

Waiting.

It's hard for me.

But, I have faith.

I remain.

God knows when and how. 

And, no matter how difficult it is to be still...I pray for His peace and patience while He works on my prayers which I know He has heard very loud, dramatically and clear. {I am an active pray-er!} Ha. God sees my heart. He knows my heart. And, I pray that He can hear my heart.... shouting out to Him. In every way possible.

Psalm 46:10

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”