::Top 10 Motivational/Inspirational Songs:: Momma Edition

When I am looking for daily motivation or inspiration, I often listen to either podcasts (one of my favorites is MFCEO), Ted Talks (Love them!) or a variety of music.

On my sad days or days when things don't seem to go right I listen to radio stations like KSBJ here in Houston. Their overall message is very motivational. For years, I have listened to KSBJ. And, the other day I realized that since I started listening back in 2001, the morning show has been very important. Not only because of my long commutes and the need to listen to good-positive radio, but also because of the dynamics of the morning show hosts. The hosts are usually male and female, parents and non-parents, but their dynamic over the years has been similar. They work wonderfully together to uplift, to encourage, or provoke deep thought as well as to make you laugh. I have fallen in love with every pair of hosts and truly appreciate a good morning radio show.

Mornings are so important because they set the mood for the rest of the day. When you don't feel great and no on else has told you that everything will be okay or that your day can turn around, motivating messages like those on the radio can help change your mood.

Here are my current top 5 KSBJ motivating/inspiring songs, there are so many others but these I love. You might recognize some of the faces from American Idol.










Then, of course, the girl power has got to flow! My top 5 female empowerment songs.

Permission Slip ::BAD DAY::

I had a bad day last week. 

You know that song, "you had a bad day". It played in my head all day.

It was raining in Houston but you know that little dark cloud that hovers only over your head and things just seem dark and treacherous. You know the violin playing in the background with the sad music. Yep that was me. The whole 9 yards.

The self-pity parties went on all day and feeling bad for myself was an understatement. 

A while back when I was feeling like this my good friend told me, "I am going to allow you to have a moment to feel sorry for yourself but you can't live or think like that!!!!" She is so right. We are all allowed to have A bad day. I keep reading it's not about the fall but how you recover. 

Let me put my day into perspective for you.

It was raining last week.

Pretty bad. 

As I put both my kids in their car-seats in my truck and then attempted to jump into the front seat as fast as I could, I slipped.

Almost straight out of my truck, the back rim of the door frame caught my fall I hurt myself and scared the heck out of my kids. I grabbed onto the door handle as it saved me from hitting the concrete floor from about 2 or 3 feet above the ground, my truck is high. I probably could have been injured worse.

My daughter cried as I ABANDONED her at daycare for the next 8 plus hours and even wet her self as I walked out the door. I was late for work and in pain. 

My Husband was running late from work that night, so in pain I had to go get my kids. I came home exhausted, blah-ed, and feeling depressed for this so called "life" that I lead. 

The bad day followed me all the way to bed, I didn't even workout. I felt fat, irrelevant and un-happy. 

I woke up the next day promising myself that yesterday, would never happen. Truth is, it will. All the time. No matter what I do or try to avoid. Situations happen. Bad days. HAPPEN. 

BUT, I can't allow ONE bad day to determine who I am, where I come from, or where I am yet to go. I promised 2014 would be about PEACE. And, I am determined to follow through. Bad days happen but they do NOT define. Me.

The day after that was better. The clouds outside even cleared a little, enough for me to appreciate the life that I have been granted and the many Blessings that I have been given in my almost 33 years. 

Never give up hope. Just when you think it's over. Life is just about to begin. 

{Did I mention my Beautiful Sister gave me one her awesome SNAP OUT OF IT YOU DUMMY pep-talks! She is so real and I appreciate her "GET OVER IT CONNIE!" text messages cause she keeps it real. Sometimes that's what we need. My good friend Cinthia also gave me a great little pep-talk and helped me realize what my goals are, and realistic perspectives about where I am!}

I am writing this as a reminder that bad days happen but I will not allow them to determine who I am! 

Peace is here...to stay.... 

{I fail. DAILY.}

Trust me. I am human. I know that I am not perfect. I know that I fail daily. In various areas of my life...including posting a Blog post everyday this month. I know that because of my in-formalities, lack of commitment to places, situations and plans I probably disappoint people on a daily basis. Truth is. I love my family and friends but life is life and it happens not on my time or when I want it but when God has it planned. And, the biggest truth is that like most everyone else on the face of this earth. I am not perfect. ::INSERT SHOCKED FACE HERE::

John 8:7-9

New International Version (NIV)

⁷ When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” ⁸ Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
⁹ At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there.

I think people tend to forget this. Trust me. I forget it all the time. Judgment is harsh. I know my shortcomings, faults and sins. I don't need a constant reminder or loss of friendship to remind me of them. Like I said. I fail daily.  I know this. The drama remains and builds and I try to evade it but again. I am not perfect. And, even tough I know that words are harsher than stones...I.fail.daily.

Ephesians 4:29

New International Version (NIV)

²⁹ Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Posting this is hard for me. I admit. I am not perfect. My words don't always build up and yes, I will probably disappoint many. I regret the hurt, the distance and the pain but I remain in Jesus and I repent. And, I pray that I am forgiven. 

People can say or think what they may about me as a person, as a Momma, as a friend, and as a sinner. But, I have peace because I know when I am wrong and I am not afraid to admit it. I fail daily. I am not perfect. And, my name is Connie.

Today, I pray for peace in my heart and those hearts of people who know their shortcomings, faults and sins and can admit it not only to themselves but to God that they{we} are wrong and that we repent and want to move forward. I pray that we are forgiven and that we can find peace in who we are and how we were created.

I know I fail daily but I am willing and trying to change it.

{Also, I am linking up with The Foley Fam-Unedited; click on the button below to show Kristine some MommaBlogLove}

 

{On having Numero Tres....A KINDA of a Sequel post}

Life as a family of four is just starting to sync up. The stars are beginning to align and I am steps away from the heavens opening up and God saying... "Connie you are awesome!"

And, on days when my kids are being sweet, playing nice and loving their Momma.... I feel like a Super Momma! And I think ...bring it on baby numero tres!

Then there are moments when my kids are punching each other under the kitchen table and yelling bloody murder as I attempt to have a decent grown up conversation with my Hubby about his day and my day with the beautiful kids fighting to the death at our feet. Seriously. Who knew a 19 month could karate chop and that a 3 year old would use his almighty strength to sucker punch his sister in the face. Really. Wow. {trust me. they are both very tough. no one is ever seriously injured. once they hurt each others feelings they hug and make nice.}

Trust me. I don't feel like a new baby is in order when I am trying to eat, read, sit, watch T.V. or doing anything normal and relaxing and both of my kids are calling my name 30 {million} times, cause they know my name and it's "hello. mami. hello. connie. look at me, mami.", when I finally turn they are doing some obscure thing like cutting paper or dumping their diaper on the kitchen floor right.after.I.mopped. Because they do. It's my life.

And then. There are times.Where Santi sits for moments at a time playing, watching his movies, coloring on my walls.... Ha. But, it's as if he is out growing the I want to be all over the house and destroy era. As for Cami, when her brother is not around and they are not pushing, pulling and punching one another, she also has a realm of calm and peace like no other. I look at them hug and kiss each other, play together in peace because it does tend to happen, occasionally. Or when they come to me with hugs and kisses. When they say "love you too mami." or pray with me. It just feels right. It just seems like yes, we will be OK and a third baby...may mean more chaos but it will also multiply ALL of the LOVE and Blessings already in our home.

I know that them being little won't last forever and Santi and Cami are growing faster than I would like.  I just don't know how to make time stop. How to make more time to love, hug and live in peace.

My Hubby has this fantasy {have you seen the Prince of Persia? Or Legends of the Fall? that one has 3 boys but yeah, it's his thing.} that he is destined to have TWO sons. So, he thinks that if I get pregnant, we WILL have another boy and his name will be....Sebastian. It's who he claims we are missing. And, he's taught the kids to ask me.... "Mom where's Sebastian?" And, it totally melts my heart....

Source: Google {Prince of Persia/Disney}

When Ricardo and I first got married we said 3 was a well rounded number but these days we think of finances, education, sanity...HA. And, most days we simply think of God, Faith and Family. The notion that everything WILL be OK, and that God wants this for us... but I hesitate. I think about it and I wonder.....

Could I? Could we? But, how? And, right now... I just don't know. 

{"Thank You Mami"}

It's those simple moments when you realize that there is  nothing that can compare or take the place of what it is or means to be a Momma.....

3 years ago I never thought that becoming a Momma would be so difficult, so stressful, so overwhelming... Today, I know that it's difficult but seeing my son and daughter laugh and enjoy life every second of the day is amazing. 

I know it's stressful but for them, I can manage. 

It's overwhelming but hearing them say those 3 words everyday...."Thank You Mami" makes EVERYTHING worth it. 

Today as I changed my Santi he grabbed my face with his two chubby hands and said... "thank you mami"...

Today as I cut up fruit for my Cami and handed it to her she grabbed her plate with her tiny fingers and said...."thank you mami"...

I am so Blessed to have had the ability to carry and give birth to TWO beautiful children. 

Who yes, turn my world upside down in a matter of minutes but 

can also make my heart sing joy and love in a matter of seconds. 

They are my life...

They make me a Momma...

They say "Thank You" and I melt.... 

What can I say...I am weak that way. 

Blessed Night to everyone...

And, I pray that you can find those 3 words that make 

being a Momma all the more enjoyable... 

no matter what today brought you..

God is there with you. 

{Liar-Liar!} Ha. & Giveaway Winner!!!

Ok, Ok! So, I lied!!! Ha. Last night I was so into the moment that I stated that I had ONLY missed ONE post so far...I have missed TWO!!! Oyi. Ha.

Reactions and Results is what today has been filled with, my family and I have since slept and started our day, like every other day, like every other week, like every other month....like every other year.

I don't think we should allow the outcome from last night determine the new path that life will take us through and instead be Thankful that God has Blessed us with a new day at all, with new outcomes and results that will be all our own...

My respect to everyone who went out and voted.... my love for my country and my heritage and my WHOOOP-WHOOOP! Shout out to President Obama, whom in the next FOUR years I want to make a point to personally meet! How? I don't know just yet. But, I am stating this today...as a Momma, as a Wife, as a Sister, a Daughter, a College Graduate, a HARD WORKING EMPLOYEE {of my home these days}, I think I owe it to myself to DREAM just as Big as the man we have named President for 2 terms... and I am taken back to that very epic and DREAM filled speech that led to an epic and DREAM filled speech last night..no matter who, what, where and when.... KNOW THAT YOU ARE THE PERSON IN CHARGE OF YOUR DREAMS AND YOUR FUTURE....No one else can dictate that...No one else can determine that...if you are where you are today...it's because of YOUR hard work and effort.... we can't place blame on anyone else... we much embrace and accept.

::END EPIC PART OF POST::

Giveaway WINNER is!!!! DRUM-ROLL PLEASE!!!

Melissa Libertad from Painting Mariposas in the Sky; In order to claim your prize please e-mail this Momma at: mommaofdos@gmail.com

The necklace was $3.50...as seen below and Ms. Libertad stated that it was $3.99 which makes her the closest guess at 49 cents off!!!

Thank you for playing!!! Huge Texas sized Momma Congrats to you!!!! Don't forget to contact me to get you your prize!!!! 



                                             ::INSERT SHAMELESS PLUG HERE::
On another note... a few weeks back my FB page hit 200 likes..and I sent out this cute little card to the happy 200th reader.... I framed it and mailed it....I loved the card!!!! Had to do it... 

{Silence on a Sunday} ♥

Our home is filled with noise and chaos most everyday....In reality, all day everyday. It's OK we've learned to love it, embrace it and talk over it. Ha. {If you come to our home...be ready to speak loudly and listen attentively.}

There are rare occasions like today when silence is golden and we bask in it's well, silence.This morning the Hubby had to take a quiz for one of his classes. So, I turned the television down. Took the kids into their room to clean up toys and sit and play. For that moment. For those minutes. For those seconds. There was silence. A Daddy dedicated to school {and his family}working at the computer, a Momma sitting on the floor picking up toys and playing. There was silence. There was peace.

In this silence; healing, restoration, words, faith, peace and Love. God spoke to me with His words of patience and Truth. It was nice. The silence. His words spoken so loud above the silence. His peace felt in this home. His embrace around my heart. That constant reminder that yes I am human, yes I have made mistakes, but we shouldn't judge one another and instead forgive, especially when long term friendships and family ties are at stake. Love is a constant reminder of my imperfections and His Grace and His Favor. On this silent morning I pray that my family and I are covered with both...Favor and Grace...that we are virtuous not perfect but standing firm in our beliefs and moving forward to a better place. The truth. Not popularity. That's what God has placed in my heart for this week.... Truth. Grace. Favor.

I pray. I have faith. God is good and He will restore...in this silence on a Sunday..His day... His Word. It fills me with Hope. It fills me with Love. It gives me peace. Faith and  forgiveness, I am not perfect. I am faith-filled. And, yes, I am Loved. 

Ecclesiastes 3

A Time for Everything

 ¹ There is a time for everything,
   and a season for every activity under the heavens:  ² a time to be born and a time to die,
   a time to plant and a time to uproot,
 ³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
   a time to tear down and a time to build,
 ⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
   a time to mourn and a time to dance,
 ⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
   a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
 ⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
   a time to keep and a time to throw away,
 ⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
   a time to be silent and a time to speak,
 ⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,
   a time for war and a time for peace.

{Grace} ♥

My husband’s favorite word is virtuous. {"Connie be virtuous", he says} He uses it a lot. Mine is Grace or Favor. Either way, we show our virtue by being graceful. I love talking to my Husband about our Faith, about Faith in general and about what we believe. He always has the best, most direct and open insight. We grew up differently and it’s so true that opposites attract. We are night and day. He has given me new confidence, a better meaning of courage, and definitely a more open EYED view on life! He taught me not to be so gullible and not to believe in everyone or everything they tell me. He taught me to really get to know people before I said how amazing they were! I was young and naive, still some days are not good in that aspect. Oh well. Such is life and we learn.


Well, today I received one of my usual daily inspiration emails from The Daily Love Blog and this was part of the Blog:

“Sometimes our biggest problem is the greatest act of Grace. What seems like horror, terror or really bad luck is the event that we needed in order to heal our wounds, step out into our power and then use our experience, strength and hope to help other people come out of their darkness. Grace can feel like a soft feather and sometimes Grace can be a kick in the teeth (or worse).”

I thought that was so perfectly described. Some days I feel like my grace has been enough and sufficient for others to realize that what I say and do is from my heart and not to hurt. I am what I think and I wear it on my lips… I know not good but it’s true. I talk. A lot. About it all. Hence, the blog. Then there are days when I am so humbled and at times humiliated that I don’t feel like I have done enough to win back truth and reputation. But, guess what? Yep you guessed it…such is life. These things have to happen….for me to grow, to learn and to heal. I realize every day that, I am not perfect, that people are not perfect and that life may never be perfect. What I do know is that I can strive to be a BETTER ME {there is that two letter word again...ME. I think it's the 2012 theme..to be a better ME, to worry about ME not so much others... selfish maybe but I think it's necessary at times...}, every day in every way! That’s what I want for 2012!

Yes, it’s only day 5, but I feel a lot MORE confident this year than I did last year…no matter what discoursing words {or gestures; as my Husband learned a couple of nights ago that a shrug of the shoulders can be worth a thousand words…} people send our way, no matter what setbacks or disappointments life may bring…life goes on! AND YES. Such is life, that we must MOVE FORWARD. NO.MATTER.WHAT.EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.

I was feeling a little blue over New Year’s Eve, but this New Year has just really allowed me to MOVE on and LIVE MY LIFE; with my Husband and my children. Life is beautiful and worth living. We just have to work at it every day past others and what they may or may not think about you. I am fully inspired to be inspired and inspire this year!

{I know you may be thinking..."Whoa Connie slow down...day 5 and already you are in that change the world mode?" Well it's that kind of a year..it's that kind of a week..I WANT IT TO BE THAT KIND OF A FUTURE FOR MY LITTLE FAMILY! I have the BEST most POSITIVE feeling EVER about TEAM GOMEZ and Oh the places we will go.... ONLY GOD KNOWS!}

grace.

I want it.

I need it.

I breath it.

I love it.

GRACE!

Make it a GRACE FILLED day!

{9 Months Cami} ♥

On Christmas Day my Cami turned 9 months. 

{Yes, this post is 7 days late but that doesn't matter I have to do it.}

Camila Isabel {9 Months}

My Cami is....

Love

Girly

Tough

Patience

Smiles

FAITH

HOPE

Sunshine

Laughter

Sweetness

Peace

Softness 

Squeezable

Hug-able

Kissable

a Blessing

Our Cami is an amazing little fireball made of sugar and spice with a hint of cinnamon, no really she loves syrup and is sticky..lots. Ha. She is definitely my little sidekick she wakes up early with me, with a HUGE smile on her face, ready to start our day. She sits patiently as I click away on the keyboard and eats her breakfast as if she knows not to make noise for the boys. She is my beautiful little lady who loves playing dress up and doesn't mind Momma's camera in her face. She is the new love in our lives... Santi, Ricardo and I couldn't have asked for a more perfect fit to this little family of FOUR! Making me the happiest most Blessed Momma of Dos ever. Camila, you will learn that your brother pushes you, punches you and LOVES you all at once. Your Daddy melts every.single.time he sees you. He will cry the day he walks you down the aisle. I am so Blessed to know what it's like to have a daughter. You are Blessed to be a part of this family. We are NOT perfect. We are Loud. But we LOVE one another more than life! Don't forget that when people fail you...God will NEVER leave your side. Lean on His words, His grace and His power all the days of your life and you can never go wrong. Being a girl is tough, we must stick together, grow up fast, learn everything at once and do it all in under 20 seconds, if you have patience life will treat you well, be slow to anger and even slower to respond to anything spoken against you. God knows your heart and with that your heart will be complete. Know that we love you so much and that you are the BEST person to have come into our lives in 2011. We can't wait for the days to come.... 

You will be ONE in 3 short months... I can't believe that! 

Resolutions~Smeshalution!

I didn't make any in 2011....
My life changed forever when I had my children. I learned that you take one day at a time. 
And we have. Therefore in 2012 I will be constantly reminded of that. 

I am not perfect. 

I must take it one day at a time. 

I will make it a goal to pray every day for my family and myself. 

I will make it a priority to continue to pray every night with my children and instill faith,values and morals as the days go by and they get older.

I will learn to move on. 

I will learn to let go and truly let God. {Easier said than done.}

I will attempt to write EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. for the sake of keeping clear records for my children and myself.

I will attempt to take MORE pictures of my kids, they will only be this little ONE time... 

I will strive EVERY.SINGLE.DAY to be a better Momma, Wife, Daughter, Sister, Friend and Family member.

I will make the best of every resource that I have and deal with my current situations one at a time. 

I will not get ahead of myself or make assumptions. 

I will further learn to tame my tongue. 

I will smile EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. God has given me the most AMAZING Blessings aside from Life itself! 

I will exercise and eat healthier, for myself and for my children. 

I will be happier as the days go by. {It's not a difficult task!}

I will pray more for others. 

I will love others more {my pride less}.

I will bring joy and pride to my home and my family! {My Hubby and Children deserve it!}

And, I will add to this list as the days, weeks and months go by! 



 HAPPY 2012 EVERYONE!! Let's make every day count because we count! 

Much Love from Momma of Dos!

{When Hope is Lost...}

I have faith in healing. I know God can perform many miracles.

But, on days like today when you feel useless...and yes...hopeless...when I pray and tears are inevitable. I can't help but remember how human I really am.

I am in NO way, shape or form trying to compare my current illness to other chronic and fatal illnesses such as Cancer. I can't imagine the pain the or rigorous treatments without result. But, I am ill. Right now, it feels like a chronic problem.

It started about a month ago. A visit to the ER for Kidney Stones, a week later an emergency surgery to remove them. A stent in for about a week. {The worse pain and experience of my life, btw.} I went back to work packed with meds, an everyday regime of pain, antibiotic and nausea pills to be a functional daily person. Ridiculous if you ask me. Ridiculous. Here I am almost 3 weeks later, failed medication and a slew of new problems.

More pain, a swollen Kidney, ER visits from what feel like I could give birth to a 10 lbs stone, not fun. I feel useless. I can't even care for my kids. I can't go to work without the anxiousness of being in pain. I can't be me. I want my life back. This, I am sorry, is not life.

I pray that God can give me total healing and health. That the doctor can give me an answer to the pain and that I can truly "normal" again.

Hospital bills are growing. Patience is being lost. Fear of the future is being built. Hope is being lost? I don't want that... I don't want that....

I don't want to be the sick Mom, the ill employee, the wife always in the hospital.... the person with medical issues. I guess no one does... It just reminds me of that movie...again not comparing my illness to illnesses like that but what else can I do when I feel hopeless and helpless...

Medication is my foe. Kidney stone are my enemy. Kryptonite if you will. Like one person said.... "she's always on the injured list...." Perspective I guess.

I don't want this to be my identity. And, the tears are inevitable.

Desperate for healing. UGH. About it all.

I want off of this roller coaster....RIGHT NOW!

"Do not fear. Look beyond what's dying to what's being born."- Marianne Williamson, is a best-selling author, motivational speaker and just a plain amazing woman.

 

Working Momma 101

Many of us work; inside the home, outside the home, BOTH.

As an outside the home working Momma, I have encountered many stories shared by women in the same place, many accomplishments, many moments of encouragement and Faith, but also challenges and times of true discouragement.

I think it's the enemy trying to deviate my focus.

I am usually a happy go lucky type of person, with many goals in mind but always with my family as a priority; my Husband and my children a like.

I know that where I am now, like many others is only temporary.

I like working and I love my job, my only problem these days is time.

My children are little so I like to think that it's not an issue and that it doesn't affect them as much as if they were older and aware that Momma left when it was dark and came home when it was bed time. It affects me. That's for sure. My Hubby being a Full-time student, I think is used to it. He calls me after class to see if the kids are asleep and rushes home. I on the other hand am not used to it. It's difficult. Small sacrifices now big rewards later?

I don't want to loose focus. I love my job. I love providing for my family. How do I deal though with these moments of Momma blues that just seem to drag me down.... Ahiii.

I pray that in the future my organization and some clarity of mind can help me deal... it's just so difficult tonight...for me to comprehend or grasp the idea that my kids can grow up without a Momma.... it wasn't what I signed up for when I decided to have children but it's how it's worked out.

I sit in the dark. Pray and hope that one day my nights become days and days last forever....

A late night thinkin' Momma.

{Marriage} ♥

I figure June was about Me {and turning the B-I-G 30!}. August will be about my Husband. {Not only is our 5 year Anniversary this month, but so is his 32nd Birthday! {Yes, I know he is OLD! HA. I joke.}

I know that no relationship is perfect....

But, what makes a relationship work?

Not only are relationships not perfect but neither are people ::insert horribly fake surprised face here:: {HA.}

I know this...trust me..I know. 

What I have learned in my  FIVE years of Marriage {and 12 years on this journey with my Husband}is this:

Communication is Key, but Silence is truly is Golden {How do they say...know when to pick your fights...oh.boy. is this true.}

You must be sincere. No room for being selfish. Life is no longer about you. {It's about TWO!}

It's about TWO {becoming ONE}. IT'S ABOUT TWO. {In Marriage NO MATTER what; you leave everyone EVERYONE else behind and become TWO. NO ifs, ands or buts about it. No joke.}

Truth. It ALWAYS comes out. If you lie. You are only, ONLY lying to yourself. There should be NO hiding. 

When it comes time to face a problem. You face it. There is no where to run...{other than to God}

You have to be consistent. In what you DO {actions speak louder than words}, in what you say, and in what you expect.

You can't change HIM. He can't change YOU. You are who are. You are with one another. You've accepted that. 

You must be persistent. In your Love and in your FAITH.

With Truth comes Transparency. You have to humble yourself and be trustworthy....

Respectful. Above all. In this day and age Social Networks consume our everyday.... You show respect to yourself and to your spouse at ALL times, no matter what.... or it could come back to haunt you.

Use kind words. Once more. Respectful towards one another. Especially in front of others...

You work TOGETHER towards a common GOAL. We can't each have a separate agenda. {And, our agenda was set forth 12 YEARS AGO. From the beginning we knew that this point that we are at now is where we wanted to be...TOGETHER.}

Together-ness. In ALL that we do! We don't have different schedules. We don't have TWO different families. We have each others backs and we MOVE FORWARD TOGETHER. {Now with children we realize we have to stay strong as a unit, so that our children have a consistent and persistent upbringing. We realize that we will accomplish more UNITED rather than divided!}

Above all we are friends. We talk. We laugh. We live. We share. We dream. We plan. We worship. We praise. We pray. We sing. We fall in love. We have fun. We love on another. We support one another. We are here for one another. There is NO one, no girlfriend, no Mom, no Sister, no Dad, no friend, no co-worker, no Brother, no classmate, no acquaintance that we ever place before God or before each other. He is all I have, and I am he has...that's how we have made it work! 

We have found that GOD has really brought us here. We Love Him and follow HIM, no matter what path he leads us down...because in the end we KNOW that we are NOT ALONE. Never. Ever.

We have FAITH. We have HOPE. Above all we have LOVE.

{Trust me we are NOT perfect....ever.....}

We work at our marriage EVERYDAY. Every hour, every minute, every second.... We WORK TOGETHER at it!!! Just like anything else in life...it's a true WORK IN PROGRESS!!!!

Our want{Love}, need {FAMILY} and ability {GOD} to work at our relationship is what has kept us together for 12 years....

[ I am sure there are many OTHER lessons I have learned....it's been 12 years...there have been many...these are the ones that I can remember right, right now.... ]

The Adjustment Bureau {Movie Review} Double Post Monday

{I don't think I have done this lately, or really more than a couple of times....BTW, I don't get ANY type of compensation for doing this...It's just for fun!}

SO!

Matt Damon.

NUFF'SAID!

Ha. But no, really!

And with his wife...

I mean...seriously...AH-MAY-ZING!

Ok, done now. 

What movie?

Oh yes, yes. {Ha. Ha.}

This movie was more than amazing. And, not just cause of the above mentioned.

This movie. This movie.

Wow.

Purpose, Fate, Free will.

God, Angels..and did I mention Matt Damon?

My Husband and I sat down after a LONG week...a LONG week...A crazy couple of days and exhausted as an understatement and said....we may just fall asleep. Less than half way through the movie we were hooked and by the end of the movie. We wanted more!

I am not even kidding. Ricardo wanted to know what others thought. If I thought the Catholic church would approve.

This movie just affirmed our FAITH in Christ and HIS PLAN and PURPOSE for us to the HUNDREDTH power!

Without spoiling the movie...

We thought it was a Government/Mystery/Thriller... but OH.BOY. Were we wrong. It's a GOD/Divine Purpose/Faith-seeking/THRILLER! {It does have some politics involved but it just affirms the movie as a whole!}

The movie discusses Angels and God's plan for our lives...and the role that fate and free will plays in it all.

I loved it.

My Husband loved it.

We needed it.

It just reminded us that we ARE here because of HIM. That the choices we make will affect the outcome of our lives BUT that when we make GOOD choices those that God tugs at our hearts with constantly, then we can change the course of our plan but ultimately HIS plan is working and moving right along!

It's a romantic LOVE story.

Definitely not for children, as it has strong language and some sexual content...

But, for mature, Faith-seeking adults..I think a TOTAL MUST!!!!

I totally. {We totally} Give it an:

A++ For just being truly amazing!

A Vast Sea of Emotions?

One thing that I am is EMOTION. I feel. I feel a lot. In a most sincere and loving way.

That said...

This weekend I was ill. Very ill. So ill. By Saturday morning I was sitting in the ER with a nurse and doctor at my side. I needed pain medication. Pain medication so strong that the doctor's first question was, "Is there any possibility you could be pregnant?" My answer left the nurse in limbo and a pregnancy test was in order.

For an hour. A whole 60 minutes. My Husband's heart.... and mine, swam, in a VAST sea of emotions.

We know that we want to have ONE more child. But, we also know that Santi and Cami came so quickly that we now want to enjoy each, individually for at least 2 or 3 more years. Therefore we sat there; worried wondering and praying. We are not ready for a 3rd child but Dear Lord, let be it be your will not mine, I repeated in my head. Ricardo started thinking finances and school and calculating when the baby would be born {breath everyone...breath}; to which I told him, calm down, there is no YES, just yet! 

An hour had passed and my pain increased. I needed a confirmation and some medication. Ricardo was just anxious to hear an answer. At this time, an x-ray technician came into the room to take me away to x-rays, Ricardo asked so the pregnancy test was negative? The tech said. "Oh they haven't told you?"...."Yes..it was negative." After we both started breathing again...my pain medication was administered and I was taken to x-rays. I am better now.

But, for that brief moment ....we had no idea what God would do with us. It just places A LOT into perspective! A Blessed moment? I think so.

SO, How was your weekend?! {Ha.}

As you can tell, mine did NOT go according to plan... {Ha.} The is no Vlog today.... {Ugh.}

What is it about Monday's that makes you want to sink your face deeper into your pillow and say...UGH...MONDAY! As opposed to jumping out of bed and saying...YEAYUH!!! MONDAY! {Ha.Ha.} 

Grief. {Final Chapter}

When the day came my body was weak, my heart was weary, and my eyes filled with tears....

The sea of tissue covered my bed and all I wanted was to sleep..as I slowly lost my breath....

No matter how many times I told myself it would come, when the day came I reminded myself that I am NOT that strong....that only God could hold me now.... Hold my Uncle...Hold my cousins...together....Lift my family in peace and carry my Aunt..into His loving arms...

In His Loving Arms.....

I ran to that place as my Husband said..."we can pray for her tonight"...I thought I will pray for her now...

I run to that place that I know so well....That place where God talks to me...where He holds me and nothing else matters....

It's that place of peace where ONLY God can hold you.

I miss her so much. Will miss her forever. Will dream of her being here. Will pray for her soul to truly rest in peace...she deserves it.

I will pray. And ONLY God can hold me.

Grief. {Part 2}

My Aunt.

A pure heart. A faith-filled heart. A Woman of Faith.

My Aunt who read Corinthians at my wedding. My Aunt who handed me my Bible and Rosary at my wedding. The same Bible and Rosary that sits in my bedroom.

The Bible which she introduced to my Uncle...who preferred one with BIG print and lots of pictures. An example of constant Faith and Love.

A beacon of Hope and Marriage.

The biggest {self-less} heart in our family.

The peacemaker. The neutral.

The Godly. The God given.The God surrendered.

My Aunt Lola.

A tribute to her  life. Not just a memory but a true testament to life.

A gentle soul filled with faith, love, courage.

Her house filled with awards.

Awards to her unfailing perseverance and patience.

Courage and Faith. That's what I know.

That's how I love her.

Beauty within and on the outside.

My Tia.

I feel like I didn't spend enough time with her.

Did I say everything I should have said?

Did I kiss her enough times?

Did I hold her long enough?

Grief. {Part I}

Grief is a reaction to a major loss. It is most often an unhappy and painful emotion.

Is it wise to grieve publicly?

I don't know...I will soon find out...

Even when you know...that "the end" is near.... The situation is still difficult. Especially when your hurting family is 1,387 miles away. {Detroit, Michigan}


The pain grows deeper with each thought.


The wounds dig further inside with each attempt to think that life will be okay.

Life is not okay right now. And that's ok.

To feel sad. To be upset. To cry.

It's the future, the Hope, the Faith, and the Love that will allow us to move into a better emotional state, this is what I believe matters. The future.  

In the mean time..I will in fact wallow...in the pain and the hurt because I know it's only temporary...

She is indeed in a better place.. {My Beautiful Tia Lola...Q.D.E.P}

They say her house was filled with people who knew her that night....all there to celebrate who she was and now the Angels up above get the same pleasure of knowing her. {Amen.}

That hurts. But, I know it's just my selfish heart. My Aunt was in pain...only she knew how much..I can not even imagine. I will never know if she was ready. I was a coward not to ask. I was dumb not to speak about it.

Shoulda', coulda', woulda'....time is up. I will never know.

Death.

The passing of a family member is never easy.

Expected or not...it's ultimately the most difficult good-bye you will ever have to say. I've said them all too often but it had been a while...and now...it's that time again...and it's so hard.

My eyes are weary and my heart is heavy....


TO BE CONTINUED......

To find my "NITCH"....or Not?

As you all may remember I was on maternity leave not too long ago....a week ago to be exact...

During those 8 weeks, I was able to have a dream come true, although short-lived, it was much needed and definitely appreciated and taken advantage of!

I was indeed a STAY-AT-HOME MOMMA (or SAHM)! And, was totally rocking at it, if I may say so myself! (Toot-toot, Ha. Ha.)

Then....as I mentioned before...

Life tends to happen and my little hot pink fluffy magic rug was pulled from under my big hope-filled feet (yes, my feet have hopes too! ha.) ...and I totally missed the pillow (meaning my feelings hit the pavement)...Eeeeek.

During those 8 weeks, I developed and almost fully mastered....being a Crafty Momma...and you know what? I loved it.

I was creating, and following through with my endless possibilities. I loved it.

But, I know there are plans that I can make..but they are not for me to control. {Trust me, this is NOT  a complaint post....trust me.}

Well during my first week back at work, I remembered that place I had been in not too long ago.

A place where I dreamed of being a corporate Momma with an outside the home job and pant suits [ YES, PANT SUITS! If I had that kind of fun, lunch meeting, corporate type job and the money to buy me some cute pant suits! {Ha.}] None the less, I was there. That place where I didn't mind being that 9 to 5 Mom that works and runs home to be a Mom and Wife to a busy afternoon family.

Then, those 8 weeks came, and for a short time, everything was perfect. I was THAT Momma in that OTHER place, that hides deep in the back of my silly little heart....the Full-Time, Stay-at-Home-Momma, with the fun and lovable and most adorable children, who cleans, cooks, reads, watches "The Talk" at 1pm and Oprah at 4pm [before she decided to leave TV!].

AND YES...WHO CREATES....

Who shines at being a MOM! 

Who LOVES being a WIFE.

That Mom that after 8 weeks of chaos thinks, yes...let me take on just a bit more....I don't have an outside the home job..I think I can handle it. 

But, then.... THIS place comes back. The place where responsibility reigns, and food needs to be put on the table, where I want to take my kids to the zoo, museum, and circus without having to really deal with a budget. This place where I have to wake up, get dressed, pull my kids out of bed and get them ready for another set of arms to hold, to love and to care for.

It's hard. I yearn. I hurt. I envy. I cry. I think...no one knows my pain.... 

And, after the pain subdues..I search...for THAT place again. 

That's where I am...

Seeking... 

{My heart hurts at the thought of my children not being around me all day.... ::deep sigh::}

But, I know.

That THIS place...has a purpose...a reason... a season...a time...

HubChub ♥ God Sent....

In the same day I received TWO devotionals dedicate to Husbands, I spoke to a friend about what she is seeking in a spouse, and I decided to write about my Hubby! {Ha.}

I don't think I've done it in a while... or maybe I have, who knows....

All I know is that my Husband is the best, most amazing man, that has ever been in my life... and who is PERFECT...for ME. Others who know him know that at times his sense of humor is very sarcastic {it runs in his family}, but those who know him, get him..he is who is he {and I am not making excuses..he is the nicest person ever}...not perfect BUT, who is!? I'm NOT. I am though... BLESSED. To have him in my life; 12 years and counting....

In talking to my friend about relationships and what she wants in her spouse, I thought about Ricardo...

Who is he?

He is a man that came into my life like a true angel always providing me with support and Love. No matter what was going on in my life 12 years ago...which was pretty bad.... at the time...he was there...learning and living... just as I was.

We pretty much "grew up" together. He was 20 and I was 18 when we met. I joke and tell the story of how there wasn't an "instant" connection yet deep down inside, I knew I had found the man I would marry.

I really met him 15 years ago; I was 15 he was 17. He was my older cousin's best friend. I was not allowed to talk to boys and my parents were very strict... plus, I lived in South Texas and he lived in Houston. Years went by, I graduated High School and came to Houston to attend the University of Houston.

In my first Summer here; I decided that I was going to focus on school, become a strong independent woman and become a doctor. I swore off fun and boys! It wasn't who I was taught to be. My parents were very strict and I came from a family of "strict" Catholics. And then...I met Ricardo. {Ha.} He was a free spirited yet law abiding, fun-loving, friendly guy. He was {is} smart, focused, and committed. He was {is} loyal, loving, dedicated, and organized. He was {is} stable and responsible. He was {is} strong, affectionate, and gentle. He wasn't sure where he was going but he {instantly} knew {even though he jokes this isn't so} he wanted me to be there with him for the ride.

{Our first date was a "blind date" it wasn't until later that we realized that we had alredy met and on our first date... his dad's car was massivley broken into and my purse was stolen...I wanted to go back to my comfy and SAFE town of Mission in South Texas...but God had other plans...}

I quickly showed him that my life was about working, education and more importantly about Jesus {Faith and Beliefs}. He accepted and joined me. Not knowing his true potential and being very humble he soon realized that our lives and path were not very different after all; he too had goals he wanted to meet and a purpose he knew he wanted to have....

He wanted to own a new car, buy a  house, go out, travel and make friends, he wanted to earn an education and gain a career he wanted to be young and live his life but more importantly he wanted to get married before God and have a family...

He wasn't big on going to church but he followed me there every Sunday... he didn't know the rosary or all his prayers... but we learned together.... he didn't have his First Communion or Confirmation but I helped him get them...he didn't care for a big fancy wedding or lots of gifts....but we set a date and booked the church....

On August 19, 2006 {after 7 YEARS of dating..truly dating...we moved in together about 8 months before the wedding only because he was super responsible about getting us a home before thinking about a big wedding} we met at the altar before God and our family and friends, we put aside 7 years of selfish "singlehood" to unite and become one! We left our parents {no matter WHAT and as selfish as THAT may sound} to form our own family. To prove our LOVE to NO ONE aside from God. To committ to one another in loyaltity and Faith.  To walk beside eachother with Him in Faith. To build eachother up in Christ. Pray over one another with Love. And to cover ourselves with prayer of protection and well being.

And this year after 5 years of marriage..we have not ONE but DOS reasons to Praise Him and Thank Him. For giving us the gift of Love; Love which HE planted and inspired, and we have watered and seen grow.

When I think about my Husband....every time I think about my husband....I think about what you just read...and then some.... I love him, I am Thankful for him and I appreciate him.

{Our lives {and we} are not perfect but our love is and that..is all that matters....}