::Timing and Being Serious::

I have been going through a bit of a "transition", maybe claiming a new sense of self and peace. Growing further in my own skin and owning who I really am. With moments like this always come a time of reflection. And, yesterday as I drove to lunch I had a couple of thoughts and one of them was how life is so short and really shouldn't be taken so serious. The second thought was about timing. How it has worked out for the better in my life and how I am now taking advantage of it. 

When I was in college my Biology professor who was probably about my age now, in her 30's, said this to me after I complained about an A-minus when I wanted an A or higher in her class. She said;

"It is not that serious. You think this class is the rest of your life, girl, you have a long way to go. And, this class is nothing compared to the real world. So, get over it." 

Boy was she right. At almost 35, I look around and think about people and all I can say is, "It is NOT that serious." I have had those words in my life for years since I was a 20-year-old in that Biology class. Trust me, my perspective on that day in that class to now 15 years later has truly changed. I have been through so much in my life, that now I can't help but think how short life is, and how it's really not that serious. Taking yourself too seriously and thinking that one experience or moment will define you, is not good for you.

I am not saying that I became this irresponsible person, who just threw caution to the wind and never strived for an A-plus or higher again. But, I did tone my seriousness down, cause I realized that life was about so much more than that A-minus in that one class! Y'all life is too short, there is so much to be lived, to be hung up on one thought, one idea, or one grade. I learned it all the hard way, as most of us do. These days I am serious when needed, just not all the time. 

Then I think about how timing is everything.

Yesterday I drove past two business that I had previously interviewed at, on the same street where I work now.  In the last two years, I had been looking for work but wanted to remain near my house for the sake of time and my kids. I used to work across the street from my house, but the position there wasn't what I had in mind for my career path. I knew I had to find a better job, even if meant driving further than across the street. Why remain in a toxic environment or a place you know doesn't fit who you are, when so much more it out there.

Well in those years I interviewed for two very good companies about 20 minutes from my house. The jobs both had good pay, but extended hours which was doable to some extent and were good positions. But, I wasn't selected for those jobs. Then I received a promotion at work and thought I would be fine to stay across the street from house, for a while longer. I wasn't really searching anymore. But, one day out of the blue in June of last year, a friend emailed me and asked if I was still looking for work. I said no but wouldn't mind hearing more about the opportunity she had.

Today I work exactly 15 minutes from my house, hours are great, pay is perfect and I am off every other Friday. I am still close to home and the job demand is better than what the other two jobs were asking for. Point is, that no matter how great the other two jobs were or how close I thought they were. The timing wasn't right. Now I drive past those two companies when I go to lunch and have no regrets about my new job.

Sometimes we want things to happen on our time and when we want them, but the stars and moon have to align for that perfect moment when all things good come. And, we just have to wait for those things to happen. Of course always working towards our goals but giving it time to reach us. And, time for us to learn and embrace our current situations.

Life is like that...a series of unexpected events that we sometimes need to embrace...

Happy Tuesday Everyone. 

::Baby Numero Tres:: Warning. I am not pregnant.

:: The Story ::

When Ricardo and I first got married, we knew we wanted children. We didn't have a specific number in mind. We just knew we wanted kids. We also knew we had a certain level of stability we wanted to reach before we had them, we knew the goals we needed to accomplish before becoming pregnant. We didn't count on having fertility issues. And, the same year that we decided to check into those issues was also the year I became pregnant with my little boy. My Santiago is a true blessing and soon after came another beautiful blessing, Camila. Becoming pregnant back to back was a shock both to me as a Momma and to my body for more than obvious reasons. I had several surgeries before I had Santiago to remove tumors and cysts. Then two c-sections back to back, trauma is probably the easiest way to describe it but it was bad. Really bad. Still the thought of a third baby lingers.  

As 2015 ended we had a couple of family members, who had babies. The question to us as parents of {Dos} is usually, are you going to have another baby?

My quick reply would be, "uhm, nope."

My thought out response would be, "I don't really want to but Ricardo does."

:: The Thoughts ::

Deep down inside I think about it and wonder. Could I do it? Would it slow me down? Do we really want to? And, would we still be able to maintain the crazy unstoppable lifestyle we have now?

I know if you ask parents of two or more children they will quickly tell you, that it's doable. But, we are all different. We have different levels of tolerance, different abilities, and different interest. I love my children. We do so much with them, I do so much for my blog and for myself. I feel that at almost 35 I want to be a little more selfish and if I have another baby right now, that would not be possible.

In February, I go see my Ob-Gyn. She will help put a piece of the puzzle into perspective and further help me determine what is best for my aging and always changing Momma body. I am thankful that I was able to have two children when doctors were uncertain if I could even have one. Now, it's all said and done. I have two amazing little beings who drive me INSANE on a daily basis, sometimes minute after minute.

Another one of my thoughts is, I feel that I can't, or maybe don't want to, handle a third. I feel we are done having children. My two are very happily spoiled rotten by SO many, we like it that way. And, as parents, we are able to fully provide and comfortably give them so much and that's not just material things, but time and attention as well. 

:: The Reality ::

The reality is that as "planned" as Camila and Santiago were they didn't come at the most "ideal" moments. We had SO many struggles throughout my pregnancies. In our marriage, in our finances, with our families, with our health, achieving stability and reaching the goals we have now reached. That as "prepared" as we were to have children in our 30's, we still didn't have it all figured out and we totally created the life we have today, one day at a time. So, if I were to become pregnant with a third baby would we be ok? Of course. We have made it through some pretty crazy moments and have made the best of the last 10 years. A third baby would be more than welcome. Are we trying to have a 3rd baby? No, not really. Will things fall into place if we did? Yes, things always fall into place. 

The third child in this picture is my nephew and that's my Dad trying to be Super GranPa back in 2012, but I am sure this would be us pretty much every day if we did have a third baby. Am I ok with that? Sure. I mean look how much fun it was to watch my Hubby graduate from UH, while he was unemployed with two toddlers and I worked 40 plus hours as an Assistant Manager with Harris County.  Fun times, ya'll...fun times! 

Telling Your Story #Purpose

Yesterday I posted about Building Strategic Partnerships, today I wanted to share how to effectively tell your story to others. I have always known that I wanted others to know more about me.

If you can imagine that to be more possible.

But, it really is. Aside from everything I share here I do have almost 35 years of life in general, 16 years of 24/7 relationship/marriage experience and not to mention the 25/8 of almost 7 years of Momma experience. As well as 5 years of college experience and almost 18 years of work experience. Trust me, there is so much you don't know about me. But, no worries. I have no problem with sharing. And, after the painfully embarrassing YouTube videos I uploaded yesterday and am sharing here today, you will officially know so much more about me. Videos were recorded some time last month but I just now had the guts to upload them thanks to inspiration from an amazing Austin Latina Blogger, Anali of the Nueva Latina (More information about her at the end of this blog). But first....

:: Things to keep in mind when Telling your Story::

1) Know what your purpose is- Even after so many years of knowing who I am and really seeking my purpose. I don't think it's become clear until recently. I am a Momma with a mission and telling my story in a way that is appropriate and relevant is my purpose. I want my purpose to mean something, to empower and to motivate. Never to harm others or my family. So, if you are going to share your story keep in mind, your audience, who might be involved and is it truly serving a purpose. If so, share it. With confidence and move forward. Your story could mean a lot to someone who hears it and the only way to know is by sharing it.

2) Be conscious of what you are about to share- For me my personal story involves a lot of pain, a family history full of turmoil and just things that most might not be comfortable with me sharing. I am very tactful about how I share my story and how much of it is truly relevant. Some details are not always needed and I understand that. Like I said, I am also conscious of who is involved in my story and how it might affect their present lives by me sharing it. So, with that in mind, just think carefully about what you are going to share and how much of it you can share. Or obtain permission if your story involves others. It may or may not. Just be mindful. 

3) Be Truthful- This is extremely important. There are so many instances of people who have shared horrible pasts only to gain attention and in the end, their stories were not true. And, trust me the truth always comes back to haunt you. Be honest and truthful. Always keeping in mind number 2 of this list... what you are sharing, how much you are sharing and with who. No need to lie, people should love you and appreciate you for who you are. If you have to lie to them, well they are not meant to be in your life.

4) Be YOURSELF, be unique - I can't tell you enough how much you don't want to be like everyone else. I can't tell you enough how much you really should just do what YOU do. Is it risky? Good. Are others doing it? If not, then GOOD. Like in life, you can't create this fake persona online. Because, when you meet people in person. They will know. They WILL know. That you aren't the totally social and well put-together Momma with the awesome hair and flawless skin.

Cause uhm, duh. They can see you. 

If you are that person both on and off the screen, AWESOME, you are God-given. Me. I pray every day that I say the right thing and that the pimples on my face really aren't as big as they appear in the rear-view mirror! Like, really. I will tell you here cause when you see me, hot mess express. For sure. And, those two super cute kids are usually sassy and sometimes dirty faced and stinky from lounging on the couch all day. So be warned, we are real people.

And now....my videos... I created these as a submission vlog for a conference, I was not selected but still wanted Momma's to know my story. One is a short version and the other includes reference to past conference submissions.

This one has Camila in it. HA.

----

More about Anali, because of her I was inspired to share my videos and tell my story!

Anali Martinez is a 20-Something Latina living in Austin, TX. She is from Del Rio, TX. She is a proud Mexican and loves to learn more about her heritage every day. She went to college at The University of Texas at Austin and earned her bachelor's degree in Civil Engineering. Her hobbies are blogging, live music, running, working out, Zumba, and hanging out with loved ones as much as she can. She is a Kate Spade lover and planner addict. You can visit her blog here: http://www.thenuevalatina.com/ and her new YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMPZgru0GDJrVEVbgZD7aOA

::Building Strategic Partnerships in 2016::

You know how sometimes you make specific plans in your mind for things to go a certain way and then oh yeah. Hello, Life. Well 2016, started with a major plot twist at my job, which could be a great and wonderful change. The universe and the stars were looking out for me and I think I like it. I have for a few years been escaping toxic environments. I love working, I say it all the time. I love my blog, it's become the hidden passion I didn't know I had 8 years ago.  

Having my 8-5 pm merge with my passion, has been in the works for years now. It had not ever worked out. But, now I feel SO much closer than ever before. And, I feel timing couldn't be better, cause it is. 

I also started my year with saying YES, to a lot of great things. I also wanted to remain local with events and conferences, and so far, so good. How did this happen? Well honestly, even though it's not happening as I thought it would, it's happening. The best thing is that I have had this need to tell my story, who I am, where I come from and how I make it all work. Suddenly those doors have opened widely.

All the while, these words remained in my head; strategic partnerships and tell your story or purpose. Today I will share with you how I feel you can build good strategic partnerships.

:: Things to keep in mind with Strategic Partnerships are::

1) Not everything that shines is a star- Don't be blinded by the social media numbers that I rock, well not me but JLo. Obviously, she is a superstar. In real life, we want to not only seek good partners but also be good partners. Just cause people have thousands of followers, are they really superstars or are they duds? Do they really create relevant and useful content? Do they have quality content like you? Does your vision look like theirs? Or is it very similar?

You can't be blinded by the shining lights, you must look past the numbers, and their possible "celebrity" status and figure out if there is depth. If they are all surface or are  they really making the light shine brightly for a reason. 

2) Build relationships (the money comes later)- Really get to know who you want to work with and what they stand for. Do their visions align with yours? Just because someone can potentially make you money, doesn't mean you should work with them. At the end of the day, some of my best partnerships with brands and people have been because I truly like their vision and they truly like my style.

I have repeat brands that come to me regardless of my pitch. Or brands that just come to me without even pitching. Usually, they have studied me and my blog and my style and they like it. The money, perks, and benefits are just that... perks of the relationship being built.

3) Be Supportive- Being supportive is so important. But, being consistent and having mutual levels of support is, even more, important. You can't just support people when it's most convenient for you. Yes, we are both trying to gain something. Whatever that gain might be it can be important too but at the same time, if one side is gaining more than the other, the trust is lost.  I don't ever want to be the person always giving or taking, neither are productive to anyone. You will lose credibility if people realize you are just trying to gain from them and never give in return.

So, supporting one another is not only key for all around success but also for building those relationships that will really allow you to be who you are and create productive partnerships. For women the concept of partnerships is far more important these days. Let's try to support one another and build empires that we can all be successful in!

{Photo Credit: Houston Latina Bloggers Facebook Page} 

Look for tomorrow's post on telling your story, some fun Youtube videos will be required......

::2015:: My year in Pictures #wordlesswednesday

So 2015, has been amazing... 

These pictures are SOME of the good that happened at Momma of Dos! 

Good-bye 2015...Hello 2016!!