What am I going to tell my Daughter about love.....

What am I going to tell my Daughter about love now that I have "failed" at it? 

Sometimes I think back at the last year and just wish that I had that one piece of advice from my mom that would answer all my questions. It still hasn’t come. And, I’m not sure it ever will. And, it’s ok. But, I need to ask myself what I’m going to tell my daughter about love and relationships, marriage, self-love, growing-up and being your own lunch date.

I want her to know that her true love should be herself. That she should love and accept herself above all else. She shouldn’t expect anybody or "someone" to fill those gaps or those empty spaces. She should want to be her own lunch date every day. She should grow mentally, spiritually and emotionally every day on her own. She doesn’t need anyone’s approval or to approve of her. She should know that love is great but only when you know that it should be mutual, supportive and freeing. 

She doesn’t need a knight in shining armor to come and save her, she should have already saved herself. She should be brave and strong and know that sometimes love isn't immediate or automatic. She should be patient but know when to move on and move forward. Love, as much as you'd like it to be, isn't easy, it’s a complicated feeling and not everybody will be able to see her true value and worth. I don’t want her to look for love or think that she has to wait for it I want her to go about her life and know that love will find her.  When the time is right.... 

I want her to be independent and her own person. Much like she is now. I want her to be herself. Never having to worry about or having to apologize for who she is. Always embracing her unique features and ways, her beauty and her intelligence. Always being herself no matter how "extra" and out there she is, she is who she is, and no one can change her. 

I want her to know that love can change and evolve. I want her to know that I didn’t really fail at love because I have known love in so many forms and most importantly because I have her and her brother who both came from a place of love and I know what love can be. I haven't failed at love because I have been loved and have loved. I haven't failed at love because I have learned to love myself more and more these days. 

I don't ever want her to apologize for knowing what she wants and being strong-willed. I want her to know that she can have what she wants, not only because she's stubborn but persistent. My daughter is already becoming this strong independent girl, I want to fuel all of these feelings constantly.

I want her to know that "failing" at love is also acceptable. No one is perfect. It's not required and life goes on. 

I am going to tell my Daughter that love is within her and that even when you don't have anyone to love, life goes on because loving ourselves is always the best option. I want to tell her that love is amazing and she should strive to be the most loving even in the absence of love from the outside world.   

I want to tell her that she is love and that I love her.... that's what I will tell her about love... 

She is writing her own love story and that's all that matters. 

How to be a Momma to a Girly Girl?

As you may know I am a Momma to a son and then I am Momma to a Girl. GIRL. Did I mention Girl? She is not just any girl; she is "a" girl. Very detail oriented, remembers everything you say and loves her clothes and hair a certain way. If you see me on Social Media you might think... she is just like you! And, yes to some extent I am  a Girly Girl. But, as I have gotten older and become a Momma I have become very tom boyish, plain Jane, and am VERY comfortable with it all. 

I don't care to do my hair every day. I no longer sleep with hot rollers and face masks. I should tho. I am happy being frumpy me on most days. But, the comfort makes me forget. I forget that I too loved being girly and that my Cami is just starting to be a girly girl. 

Today I will share 5 ways that I will be a Momma to a Girly girl so that she can be herself and learn that we can be beautiful and smart all at once. 

::5 ways to be a Momma to a Girly Girl::

1) Paint her Toes~ One of Camila's favorite things is to paint her nails. I am usually busy and rarely get a chance to get pedicures of my own but when I do, it feels amazing. I love feeling pampered, who doesn't right? The other night all Camila wanted was her toes painted. I didn't want to be bothered. I tend to forget how fun and awesome it feels to have someone pamper you. I want my daughter to feel loved and pampered. Because she deserves it and much more! Plus she will learn that all of her hard work deserves some relaxing and treating yourself. 

2) Give her Space~ Giving Camila her own space and allowing her to be herself gives her confidence and strength. I love that she knows exactly what she loves. Yes she is only 4 but trust me she is very good at knowing what she loves; these days it's lip gloss and nail polish. She has true collections and is very proud of them. I don't ever want to stop her from being herself. I know plenty of beautiful Makeup Artist and women who look amazing and are CEO's.  Camila will choose who she wants to be and I want to give her that space but with guidance. 

3) Let her Dress herself~ A great way that Camila shows individuality is in dressing herself. Trust me most days she does a lot better than I would. Often my Husband says I won't be able to afford her, but my number one priority will be to teach my daughter to work hard and be able to afford herself. It's an example that I had growing up, my Momma was independent and I have been as well. My Sister and I own what we have because we bought it. No need to be dependent on others for stuff.  A little strong for a 4 year old? Yep. It is but she definitely needs to learn it. 

4) She can be  Princess whenever she wants~ She is 4, reality is years away. I want my child to be a child. That means if she wakes up and feels her inner Princess shinning on any given day, she should be able to be a PRINCESS darnit! She is in our home. We love her. While we want her to constantly learn value, morals and self-esteem we also want her to be a child and enjoy life. With or without her crown. 

5) Give her attention~ I want to genuinely give her my time and attention. Some days are difficult but the more time that I can give her the better she will communicate with me. She loves to talk. I will learn to listen, always. She is one of the loves of my life and she deserve all of my time and attention. Her and her brother have a lot of patience for me and my writing in return I like to think that I can be patient with them and what they need. Camila is so loving, she loves to spend time with me and I love her so much. I want to always show her that I care and listen. Communication will be essential in later years. 

On confidence. Or lack thereof....

Ever since I can remember I have been a very confident person with high self-esteem. That area of my life has never been an issue whether I am a size 2 or a size 14. My smile says it all.

I was never the prettiest, or the smartest, or the tallest, or the most talented. But, I didn't care. I walked with my head high and my shoulders straight.

Then life happened. Last year I turned 30. I felt AMAZING. These days. The 30 syndrome is hitting me.I will be 31, 31. No longer 25 and so far from 18. I have felt not so very confident, as I have in the past. Time has settled on me. I have lived a full life, I think. Family, friends, Marriage, Travel, Education and now Children and Future. And well; my mind, soul and body reflect that. I have had DOS amazing little babies! Life just becomes so LIFE filled. The days need more hours and the hours cry for more minutes. Let's just say I have not been doing the Pretty Girl Rock! at all latley. HA.

"My name is Connie, I am so very...." Ha.  

Then this morning it hit me. How am I suppose to raise an amazing daughter with an amazing smile and crazy amounts of self-confidence if her Momma don't have it? Well, I retract. I am thinking back to those days when life was confident and I didn't doubt who I was or who I would become. Those days when I knew the wind would eventually blow in the right direction. To those days when life was about happiness and faith. No need to wear fancy jeans and do my make up, just wake up and go on about my day.

I want my daughter to know that she can be and do whatever she wants and that the way you look and how others see you comes from one place...that place is within us. Our own faith. Our own confidence. Our own glow and light.

God has placed that light in our hearts...it's up to us to keep it lit!

LIGHT IT UP! LIGHT IT UP!

This little light of mine...

SHINE. BRIGHT. SHINE BRIGHT .