::Transitions::

Transition: To transition, transform or metamorphous into a new place or space. 

It’s where I’ve been for over a year, mentally. Physically the movement began, a little over 8 months ago. It’s a difficult place to be in when you truly have no clue where you’re heading. These have been some of the most difficult moments in my life to date but with time comes clarity. 

As I continue to seek it. 

With every push forward towards seeking your true self there comes a little defeat, disappointment, thoughtfulness, and reflection. But, not everything is lost. Along the way, you find new friends, a new sense of self and direction. You grow a little more with each experience and are reminded of your resilience.

It seems that every time I get overwhelmed I tend to retreat into my safe zone. But, I’m pretty sure that’s most people. That doesn't mean that that's where you belong. Because that's definitely not where growth happens.  

Going back into my comfort zone and doing the thing that I love most and know well, writing and staying in this "safe" space. Comes easy to me. So, when things get overwhelming this is where I go. To my words. But, most growth has happened in my actions. I am just now ready and able to put it all into words. 

And, it's kind of, a very freeing moment and movement if you will. To be less censored in what I can and how I say, or write about it. Divorce isn't an easy word to write, much less say. It's been a process and time has given me the words I need to move forward. 

It’s easy to be filled with self-doubt, fear, and defeat. And, sometimes it’s OKAY, to feel these feelings. Because they’re real. Because they happen. Because it’s life. 

Things are not always going to be perfect. Don’t compare. Instead, look inward for direction. Purpose is fulfilled differently for everyone.

When you accept what this life has chosen for you to bare, that’s when you can turn your situation around. If you go back in history you will find clues that will confirm your purpose. I know I have. Sometimes the signs were there but I still moved forward. Without my 19 year relationship, I would not have the experiences I have now, or two children to help me become who I am today. 

When you are called to seek a new path, it’s a testament to your purpose. Resilience & Courage. Be brave and move forward. 

These are the words I keep telling myself. These are the words I want to write about. I want to talk about how much pain and guilt occurs when leaving a marriage is your choice. How I never meant to hurt my spouse. It was never my intention but it happened. I lived with the guilt for days on end. But, I've pushed forward and learned that it can't live in your heart because it's not a way of life. 

Neither of us was perfect. Obviously. But, the choices I made were for me alone. And, these days, I am good with how it has all started to work out and "fall into place". 

I also know, that my direction has changed, and that's OKAY too. 

This is where my new chapter of life begins, the next 20 years of my life will be spent exploring more of who I want to be and how I want to continue to fulfill my purpose. 

::Writing the Next Chapter in Life::

Sunset, Destin, Florida 2017 

Not every story begins with a once upon a time or ends with a happily ever after... at least not in the way one might think. We all create the lives we want, based on the choices we make, our societal perceptions and truly the deck that life throws at you. I can't be upset about what someone else has that might be better than my situation, or circumstance. We all work hard to get to where we are, and if we don't put the work in and strive for better then, we remain. And, sometimes people are okay with this. 

Growing up I knew that going to college, getting married, having a career and kids was the "right" way of doing things. Even though no one else in my family had really followed this path, I did it all in this exact order. Along the way, life has thrown SO many obstacles at us, as life would, but we worked hard and created the life we wanted and deserved. But, then again, we don't always control certain circumstances or life's events and things can change suddenly and drastically. 

For years I've sought to figure out who I am. What I want and where I am going with this whole passion for writing and inspiring working moms deal. I've had my share of nay-sayers, people who didn't believe in me or what I was trying to achieve. For what, for who and why? In part because they didn't understand it, and honestly for a long time, I didn't either. 

I've never given up though. 

I've continued to build and grow my community of women, my tribe of Momma bosses, not truly knowing where I wanted to go with it. Do I know now? Probably not as clear as I would like. What I do know is that now my journey has created a new path. One where even though I might be judged and looked at like I've made the biggest mistake of my life, I can tell you that I've made the best choice for me. It's been a period of true transition for us here at Momma of Dos for a little over 9 months now. By us, I mean my children, myself and their dad. We now live in separate households and have created different routines and are continuously trying to establish a new normal for us all. A lot harder than one might imagine. All of this is new to us; the transition, the two homes, the arrangements and details of it all.  Lots of sadness, confusion, pain and hurt. 

But, I am not giving up now..... 

This blog has chronicled MANY, many years of our lives together. Now, our lives are being lived on two separate paths. It's not been easy and there is so much more I will share as I can. I appreciate the love, support, and respect of those on my social media outlets, in our immediate circle, in our families and our friends.  For obvious reasons, I have not been able to share, nor did I feel I had to, what was going on as openly as most would have liked but I feel we are getting to a place where I can be a little more open about it all. 

Things are still a little difficult and details are still falling into place but we are all moving forward and trying to make sense of a hard situation. 

Please note, I do not share this as a victim. I share this from a place where I have made decisions for myself that I felt were best for me moving forward.  I could sit and share all the negative and bad of the last few months, but that's not my plan at all for this space.  

::Transformation:: 2016

I have discovered that times of transformation come as do the seasons of life. 

I feel that in order for overall transformation to take place you must be willing to go through it and you must want to do something that will help you transform your life. Transformation comes in so many forms; mental, physical, emotional, maturity, etc. We create our own periods of transformation and equally we can ruin our best moments of transformation by allowing our weaknesses or past failures to bring us down.

Lately, I have felt a great surge of transformation back to a place of true balance and peace. I decided months ago that in 2016 I would slow down. Start focusing more on life and my career. It's slowly coming together. The current season is one of taking it all in and learning from my past. I have so much to give thanks for. My children are both happy and healthy kids who love life and are so unique. My career is finally in a good place with a good company, I want to make a life where I am.


My Hubby and I have created a constant energy of evolution, we take in all the bad and good and move forward with it. No matter how bad things get we always manage to move forward, together. We are not perfect and do have many battles to overcome, sometimes daily. Arguments and attitudes flare, mostly on my part ::insert evil laughs here:: but it's fun. We have learned to live a life filled with daily arguments that make sense to us and a ton of humor. We are happy in our own little-twisted way and that's what matters.

As for my mind and body. I want to be strong and healthy. I know it will take time, I am taking it one day at a time. Some days are harder than others, as I hate movement after 5pm. But, I kicked off my boot-camp again, and it makes me feel great so I keep going back, week after week. Seeing other ladies progress and kick-ass is very important.  I seek them in so many areas of my life.

Spiritually and mentally, my transformation is constantly changing and my brain is always thinking as to, what's next. I try and fill my mind daily with words and thoughts that will bring me new peace and happiness. I also listen to anything that will inspire me to have an open mind and creative new energy. Recently, the biggest area of transformation has been taking a class that will help further empower me as a Latina in Leadership with Mujeres de HACE. The connections I have already made have been amazing. The learning and thought process on a week to week basis has been even better!

Taking this time to myself and improving who I am as a Momma, as a career-driven woman, and as a person, helps me transform daily into who I want to be. I turn 35 next month and the word transformation has just stuck in my head and on my tongue for the last week or so. I know that the experiences in the next few weeks will help me reach that next level that I want my life to be at.

I want to always take the actions needed to transform my life, not just for myself but for my children, husband and family's well-being. It's so important to evolve and grow, far out of your comfort zone and into that next season of your life... 

“Real transformation requires real honesty. If you want to move forward — get real with yourself.”― Bryant McGill, Simple Reminders: Inspiration for Living Your Best Life

What about you, what are you doing today that will transform your tomorrow?