::Christmas Recap:: 2014

Christmas has always started with faith and traditions for me. These days those beliefs remain, we try every year to make it more and more about our children and what we want them to gain from this season. Faith, family and togetherness.  We worry less about what's in it for us or what others except and more about what our kids will learn from it all... We love sharing with them and our family.

And, as the years go by we enjoy it more and more by creating our own family memories and traditions that we hope will allow our children to gain appreciation, faith and love for our culture and traditions.  

Here is our Christmas recap in pictures: 

Developing Self-Worth {Faith}

I will always be the first to admit that it's been a challenge to transition from years, and years of working crazy amount of hours, crazy amount of jobs in a crazy work environment outside the home to working crazy amount of hours, crazy amount of jobs in a crazy work environment inside the home. Ha. It's true. As someone who has worked outside the home their entire life, I prayed daily to become a Stay@HomeMomma, now that it has finally happened it's been, well. Yes, Crazy. 

Stressful. Overwhelming. Unexpected. 

I didn't picture the demand, the job itself, and the amount of patience it took to stay home with a 3 year old and a 2 year old. It's been chaos. Every day a little better but definitely a new challenge as the days go by....if that makes sense. Finding a balance has been difficult but slowly I am finding a new pace of life, a new schedule and my niche within my home. 

The balance is found in preparation, growth and learning from your mistakes. I believe being pampered on the outside can be just as important as being pampered within. When we make a change to our exterior being we feel great on the inside; proud and loved. When we make a change on our inner being, it shines through to the outside. I think people notice when you get a haircut but they notice even more when you have peace and happiness on the inside.

I am what I like to call an "open-minded non-traditional Catholic". I understand all the values and morals taught but I don't like to limit myself to one set of strict views because I feel that you can miss out on something so much bigger and so much more amazing. I believe in a true blend of the old traditional views mixed with new forms of worship of praise. A balance. Never one extreme or the other. 

In my almost 32 years of life, I have always "been" a Catholic. It wasn't until I turned 24 that I knew what having faith was. It was then that I not only opened my heart but my mind to new ways of thinking. I knew I loved praying to the Virgen de Guadalupe and that I believed in Jesus and the Saints. But, the traditional way of worship and praise just didn't fulfill this seeking and thirsty little heart of mine. I dove straight into my church and became more involved that is when I started to find new ways of worship and praise that weren't the traditional nights of praying the Rosary. This time I was deep in meditation and peace that only God could bring me.

I would sit in a quiet dark church and ask Jesus to sit with me to show me His light and guide me. And, as crazy as this may sound many, many days His presence was there and I had peace and a new sense of belief.

These days. I attend mass and read my Momma Devotional Bible {Mom's Devotional Bible NIV} and I also pray day in and day out for different reason. I wear medallas de Santos and light candles. I also attend events at different churches that I know my soul will benefit from, not always Catholic churches and I definitely enjoy it. 

Just this weekend I attend the annual Women's Event at New Hope Church in Pearland. It was my 2nd year attending and the message was awesome last year it was about Marriage and Relationships. This year it was about us; as Momma's, Wives, Daughters, Sisters, etc. We are all human and we all make mistakes. We can't please everyone and as Women we need God in our daily lives to guide us and lead us onto the path that He has planned for us. I Loved it. I know I will definitely make it a yearly event. Plus, I  got to spend time with my Beautiful Amiga Yvonne from Spanglish Girl which is always fun! 

{On Healing... }

Last week I read a devotional in my Bible and this is what I heard.... 

"Entering and accepting the pain, seeking direction through the pain and trusting that God has better plans in store....."

Lent is over but the lessons are still being learned...

God is good. I have faith. Things are shaky right now. But, I have faith..in restoration. In healing. In Love. I have faith.

God will heal and restore.

I have faith.

One day. No matter how long it takes. I pray.

{Dig Deeper} What the silence is teaching me....

I haven't always been a "person of faith" and still most days I fail at just about everything and in just about every area of my life... but one thing that I never give up on is seeking or as I have recently discovered... digging deeper. I seek faith and hope in everything because I know that those feelings come at the most unlikely times, from the most unexpected places and at times in the worse of situations.

With that said... the last few months I have been a Stay@HomeMomma and I think that some of the most difficult situations have come about....and for some reason... my ability to handle it all is slowly becoming less? Or maybe this is me becoming stronger? All I know is that for months I felt worn out and overly spent.

When I was in my 20's I fought many battles and looking back...I came out stronger than before...now in my 30's the battles are no longer visible but within. My life is good though. I don't worry about the outside world unless the outside world steps into my life... then it's on. Fighting the battles these days are taken on in a whole new way.... I am a firm believer of Prayer. Silent prayers. Or out-loud with tears... it's all I have most days...

If there is something that I have learned in the last few months as a Stay@HomeMomma is that I have/had little to no patience. You would think that as a Momma and wife I would have lots of it and maybe it's something that in the past I have taken for granted but my patience has I think grown. My "tolerance" of little everyday things has become heightened. I am more aware of the fact that I apparently am not as patient as I should be not just in general with life but as a Momma with two toddlers who love to run and never use their inside voice, as a Wife with a Hubby who works very hard outside the home, as a Friend who needs to be more supportive and encouraging, as a Job Seeker who needs to be reminded that the "dream job" is out there somewhere, as a Sister who needs to learn to just give when giving is impossible, as a Daughter who needs to love no matter what, and as a person of faith...who needs to DIG DEEPER. 

Lent is in full effect and as a person who loves to learn and grow... I have learned that you can never learn enough, and you can always GROW more. My life is NOT perfect, it's far from it. My life is not simple, it's chaos. My heart though is yearning... to dig deeper. 

The silence is great but the lessons are being stored. In a heart, a soul and a brain that will one day, soon, burst... of light and sunshine onto not just her little home deep within but for the world to see. Just because I am silent doesn't mean I am not learning, growing and yes....digging deeper.... 

"I refuse to be limited and I refuse to remain unchanged. I am indeed... changing... deep within... observing and learning.... "~Momma of Dos

{A lot of Faith} ♥

Yesterday my Sister said to me...."if it's meant to be then it will be."

So simple.

So true.

Truth.

Something I am SURE I have said to her many times or to others who are seeking. But, why is it so hard to accept that right now? I have faith that whatever is meant to be these days will be. I keep busy and fill my calendar. With my goals and my purpose. Not worrying too much about what everyone else has going on or where everyone else is in their journey of seeking, I have been there....and yes..most times...done that. Right now it's time for this Momma to seek in a different manner. Not only a Dream job but MY dream for the next 30 years and my family's future.

Years ago when I first met my Hubby I don't think I imagined my life to become, so full of LIFE. Our kids are a Blessing. Such an awesome Blessing, that at one point I didn't know if it would ever be possible to have children. At 32, I can honestly say that I have lived my life and accomplished almost everything that I have set my mind to do, small or big. Sometimes walking away from God, so far ahead that I have to stop myself and be reminded that He has been my strength. But, in the midst of it all I have never lost sight of His Love, His Wisdom and His words; which live deep inside my heart. Deep inside my soul. I knew of God as a kid, I didn't know God until I was 24. 24. I am  now 31, 32 in June. Those things, situations or circumstances that I thought were a priority then, now sit on the back burner.

I have found myself, in many dark corners and through many heartfelt and horribly shed tears. But, through it all I have remained. In faith. In light. And, open to the possibilities ahead. So, why is it so hard to accept where I am right now? In this quiet place. Still. Married to a great and supportive Man who yes...puts up with all my crazy antics and blog posts, Ha. Ha. A Momma of DOS very active, very hyper, somewhat spoiled {ok, very SPOILED}, tantrum throwing and demanding children who never use their inside voice and who consume my every being in the best way possible; who are teaching me patience and about using my inside voice. {True story; my son asked me not to SPEAK SO LOUDLY,or yell, at him and to instead speak to him in a calm inside voice....convinced that he would listen to me, I tried it and he still doesn't listen to me, boys... Oyi.}

Be still.

Waiting.

It's hard for me.

But, I have faith.

I remain.

God knows when and how. 

And, no matter how difficult it is to be still...I pray for His peace and patience while He works on my prayers which I know He has heard very loud, dramatically and clear. {I am an active pray-er!} Ha. God sees my heart. He knows my heart. And, I pray that He can hear my heart.... shouting out to Him. In every way possible.

Psalm 46:10

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” 

{Rain & Motivation}

I don't know about you. But, rain, is my kryptonite! 

For days, it's been raining here in Houston. It makes me feel, NOT so great. Literally. It consumes me. Inside and out. For days my kids have been going crazy with indoor activities or lack there of. In return. I want to pull all my hair out. Maybe not all but most of it. My poor kids and yes, THIS poor Momma! Ha.

Then late last night as I attempted to release some frustration and negative energy by exercising. My little Man joined me. His energy is incomparable, even at 11:30pm. He was full of energy and asked to do the "yu-ga" routine AGAIN. He would say "Mom I like it that one, dancing!" and he gave me plenty of water breaks and commended me on a "good zch-oab!" He was an awesome, awesome, AHHHH-SU-M motivator.

Then this morning. Life. I love it. The sun {ahhhhh, the heavens opened up and the angels sang}, it came down slowly onto my computer screen through my sliding glass door and all I could think was "let's get this party started!" It was awesome. A new energy. Some new hope. Some new deals and offers. It was great!

Not sure what motivates you but this year; last night will be my Motivating memory and moment of the year! Every time I feel down I will go back to last night and my little man saying, "yes Mom, good zch-oab"!

Rain. You ain't  got nothin'on me! {Ok, you do... so go away!}

I did a LOT of pinning while it rained... check me out here ::CONNIE'S AWESOME PINTREST BOARDS:: I think I earned my Pinning Wings the last 2 days! Just sayin'....

{Houston Area Women's Center} #stoptheviolence

Many may not know this about me but I have witnessed violence in the home first hand. {I don't plan on giving out details, when it happened I told many people in hopes that it would ease the pain, I went to church, I spoke to my Boyfriend-He is now my Husband, I wrote about it, I cried about it, I thought about dying at my own hands over it. It was not the best time in my life but I also don't want to harm those whom I love with details or remembering what was. I lived through it. I survived and so did she.}

I was going to post about this regardless but with what happened on Friday I decided to make it a mini-series on my Blog. #stoptheviolence

Domestic Violence of any form is a difficult and tramautizing experience. Trust me. I have been there. In the dark with the thought of, what if I just stop breathing, it will stop the pain. After years of it and fed up, I was grown and after feeling powerless at one point in my life, I had suddenly gained strenght, wisdom, age and courage. Courgae that was built after years of horrifiying stories, first hand accounts, and one call to the HAWC. I stood in a room, with the adrelanie rush and telling my story of intervention, prevention and attempting to save a life. I then found myself in a waiting room on Montrose. Could this be real? ME. I was living this. With a loved one. So much pain. So many terrify events. The emotional. The physical. The abuse on so many levels. The pain on a level I never knew I could reach.

After days, weeks and months of healing...now years... the pain, empowerment. The memories, my strength and my courage. I will never, NEVER allow this to happen to a loved one EVER. Again.

Which is why I am here now. Telling you that if you are suffering ANY kind of abuse you too can overcome, survive and heal.

3 weeks ago I was invited to attend the taping of Great Day Houston. I sat in the audience and a first hand account of what live TV is like. It was exciting and an awesome opportunity. But, I wasn't sure if anyone else was there for the same reason that I was. I had survived violence in the home. I was there to assist in representing the Houston Area Women's Center, we wore red. The color of pain and hope when you live through and survive what I have see, heard and lived. I felt honored. Humbled. And, an amazingly overwhelming feeling to have been able to put YEARS of violence behind me. Years of silence in the open. It's a freeing sitiuation.










I am here today to ask you to donate and help in any way possible for an extremenly good cause. One that saved my life and that of my loved ones. One that has restored my faith in life, love and marriage.

I thank the Houston Area Women's Center for one day holding our hand and giving us hope.

I thank Frida for the opportunity and allowing me to be a part of something so great and simple as to sit and represent a cause and for a place that one day harvested safety and new hope for those of us who have lost it.

Go to the following links to help the HAWC::HERE:: and ::HERE::
Go to the following link to learn more about Frida ::HERE::

If you need help getting out of a violent situation and are scared to move forward know that the person hurting you will never hurt you if you stop giving them the power to do so. ::CLICK HERE FOR HELP::

Prayers for those in pain.

Momma Disclosure: This is not a compensated OR sponsored post. This is however a subject that is very near and dear to my heart which is why I chose to share it.  The above statements are both true and actual experiences.

{El Dia de la Virgen de Guadalupe} #tradiciones

As the years begin to pass and celebrations come about I am thinking that November/December will be one of our favorite seasons! There is so much to do, so many traditions to hold near and just so much love and hope in the air.

One thing that I know for sure is that as the time passes and the kids get older I have come to realize that what I want most for this holiday season is to make it a memorable one for OUR little family of 4! As selfish as that may sound, I want my kids to know that when times were tough and situations came about what mattered most was US; my Hubby, my Cami, my Santi and myself.

Because when the kids think back and look at our memories together I don't ever want them to say; my parents threw huge fancy Christmas parties with all their friends and family....I want them to say... that we had a humble, happy, loving, gathering with Jesus in our home; even if it was just us and our faith and love for another. It's what my little heart is yearning. For my children to know that the reason for the Holiday's is because Jesus was born and our lives were saved. Because, we are Mexican we have HUGE celebrations when it comes to Birthday's and other life events, but when I grew up, the Holiday's were about prayer, coming closer to the One who was born to be our Saviour. We did this through celebrations like; las fiestas y misa del Dia de La Virgen de Guadalupe, las Posadas, la Noche Buena, y Navidad. I don't remember HUGE fancy parties. I remember prayer, family and awesome food...las bolsitas, los tamales, las piñatas! These are my favorite memories growing up. Playing with my cousins on cold winter nights after almost 2 hours of prayer...my Grandmother was intense! Ha. And, a lot of love and faith being planted in our hearts.

Which is why, when it comes to traditions and celebrations I try to make them count and make them memorable. Every year more and more!

{Hello December} 2012 to 2013

{Good-Bye November}

December is that you? Wow.

The last 11 months are a blur. It's cold now, sometimes. My Husband graduated college, I became a "Stay@HomeMomma", kinda. It just doesn't feel like a whole year has gone by but my son's jacket no longer fits him and my daughter has new boots...that she is walking in, all on her own. So, yes. The year has gone by. Too fast and without warning.

My wish for December. That I can enjoy it. Maintain some peace. And, move forward. I am not sure where this year has led you but for me, it's given me a second chance. A new opportunity to start over. So, my 2013 starts now. Why wait?

I don't watch football but while listening to the news the other night one of the players said; "I don't think about the last play, I think about my next play." All, I could think was, "Wow, I want to be that way." I don't want to think about the past and what went wrong, I want to look towards the future and what's to come.

I often sit and think about the things that I wish could have happened or that I could have done differently. But, I can't dwell on the material and superficial. I can't think about places and situations. I can only move on.

2012 was a great year. Many things went well. But, I want 2013 to be even better for us.

{December prayer: Dear Lord, give me peace and faith to continue. Give me strength and wisdom to prosper.  Give us health and continued safety. Bring us to the end of the year with new hope. I pray that 2013 is an amazing year for Team Gomez and all of our friends and family. May Your will be done in my life and not mine. In Jesus Name. Amen.}


p.s. Still no pictures ya'll, maybe tomorrow....... Because I have a fun Holiday Mini-Photo shoot that my lovely assistant and I did! 

To Be Thankful ♥

Hello All.

It's Monday!

And, guess what? I survived Thanksgiving.

We were not ready, the day came too soon, but still we made it out alive! And, with lots of great memories that I am more than Thankful for!

The day started off slow and then friends, family, food and laughter overcame our home! It was an amazing time. My kids had too much fun, we ate too much food and we can't wait for it again NEXT year! Ha.

God has definitely Blessed our little family this year in many ways! I know that we should be thankful everyday of the year but I like Thanksgiving in particular and I see it as a day to reflect on the past 11 months and await the next month to end and a NEW year to begin! 2013 will be here before we know it. And, this year I am not only thankful for life itself but for everything good and bad that 2012 brought me. The good always outweighing the bad.

We are ready for a new beginning for a fresh start and Thanksgiving is that link between those two locations...the now and the future. I thank God everyday for the health and safety of my family and the strength and faith that He has rooted in our hearts! We are transformed and Blessed because of Him. This year has proven to be a challenge and only because of Him and His grace have we made it through it all. 

I hope that your Thanksgiving was filled with Blessings, reflections and new beginnings. Here is a little picture re-cap of ours!

Pictures are in no particular order and include our Thanksgiving feast at Santi's school! Enjoy!!

As you can see it was just the right amount of heart, food and holiday cheer! Counting down to Christmas and New Years!

Happy Thanksgiving from Team Gomez!!!

{I fail. DAILY.}

Trust me. I am human. I know that I am not perfect. I know that I fail daily. In various areas of my life...including posting a Blog post everyday this month. I know that because of my in-formalities, lack of commitment to places, situations and plans I probably disappoint people on a daily basis. Truth is. I love my family and friends but life is life and it happens not on my time or when I want it but when God has it planned. And, the biggest truth is that like most everyone else on the face of this earth. I am not perfect. ::INSERT SHOCKED FACE HERE::

John 8:7-9

New International Version (NIV)

⁷ When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” ⁸ Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
⁹ At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there.

I think people tend to forget this. Trust me. I forget it all the time. Judgment is harsh. I know my shortcomings, faults and sins. I don't need a constant reminder or loss of friendship to remind me of them. Like I said. I fail daily.  I know this. The drama remains and builds and I try to evade it but again. I am not perfect. And, even tough I know that words are harsher than stones...I.fail.daily.

Ephesians 4:29

New International Version (NIV)

²⁹ Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Posting this is hard for me. I admit. I am not perfect. My words don't always build up and yes, I will probably disappoint many. I regret the hurt, the distance and the pain but I remain in Jesus and I repent. And, I pray that I am forgiven. 

People can say or think what they may about me as a person, as a Momma, as a friend, and as a sinner. But, I have peace because I know when I am wrong and I am not afraid to admit it. I fail daily. I am not perfect. And, my name is Connie.

Today, I pray for peace in my heart and those hearts of people who know their shortcomings, faults and sins and can admit it not only to themselves but to God that they{we} are wrong and that we repent and want to move forward. I pray that we are forgiven and that we can find peace in who we are and how we were created.

I know I fail daily but I am willing and trying to change it.

{Also, I am linking up with The Foley Fam-Unedited; click on the button below to show Kristine some MommaBlogLove}

 

{On having Numero Tres....A KINDA of a Sequel post}

Life as a family of four is just starting to sync up. The stars are beginning to align and I am steps away from the heavens opening up and God saying... "Connie you are awesome!"

And, on days when my kids are being sweet, playing nice and loving their Momma.... I feel like a Super Momma! And I think ...bring it on baby numero tres!

Then there are moments when my kids are punching each other under the kitchen table and yelling bloody murder as I attempt to have a decent grown up conversation with my Hubby about his day and my day with the beautiful kids fighting to the death at our feet. Seriously. Who knew a 19 month could karate chop and that a 3 year old would use his almighty strength to sucker punch his sister in the face. Really. Wow. {trust me. they are both very tough. no one is ever seriously injured. once they hurt each others feelings they hug and make nice.}

Trust me. I don't feel like a new baby is in order when I am trying to eat, read, sit, watch T.V. or doing anything normal and relaxing and both of my kids are calling my name 30 {million} times, cause they know my name and it's "hello. mami. hello. connie. look at me, mami.", when I finally turn they are doing some obscure thing like cutting paper or dumping their diaper on the kitchen floor right.after.I.mopped. Because they do. It's my life.

And then. There are times.Where Santi sits for moments at a time playing, watching his movies, coloring on my walls.... Ha. But, it's as if he is out growing the I want to be all over the house and destroy era. As for Cami, when her brother is not around and they are not pushing, pulling and punching one another, she also has a realm of calm and peace like no other. I look at them hug and kiss each other, play together in peace because it does tend to happen, occasionally. Or when they come to me with hugs and kisses. When they say "love you too mami." or pray with me. It just feels right. It just seems like yes, we will be OK and a third baby...may mean more chaos but it will also multiply ALL of the LOVE and Blessings already in our home.

I know that them being little won't last forever and Santi and Cami are growing faster than I would like.  I just don't know how to make time stop. How to make more time to love, hug and live in peace.

My Hubby has this fantasy {have you seen the Prince of Persia? Or Legends of the Fall? that one has 3 boys but yeah, it's his thing.} that he is destined to have TWO sons. So, he thinks that if I get pregnant, we WILL have another boy and his name will be....Sebastian. It's who he claims we are missing. And, he's taught the kids to ask me.... "Mom where's Sebastian?" And, it totally melts my heart....

Source: Google {Prince of Persia/Disney}

When Ricardo and I first got married we said 3 was a well rounded number but these days we think of finances, education, sanity...HA. And, most days we simply think of God, Faith and Family. The notion that everything WILL be OK, and that God wants this for us... but I hesitate. I think about it and I wonder.....

Could I? Could we? But, how? And, right now... I just don't know. 

{Evil} & Prayer

I like to think that my Blog is a happy and positive space where I can be Happy and Positive.

But, life is not so.

In general, I know what being Blessed and praying entails.

But, truth is.

I also know the opposite of that and it's not a happy or perfect place. I embrace life and all that comes with it. I have lived through the worse of my days,most people wouldn't even imagine it. Trust me, I don't live a fairytale life and darkness has lived in my heart....

I didn't get swept away by a knight in shinning armour into a "Happily Ever After" like zone... I was loved and cared for by my Husband who after 14 years has NEVER left my side...to this day we fight the battle together, with the help of God, never alone. We have come to be in this place, we were not born into peace and faith, we have learned to live this way... it's a place where we both find happiness and joy. A place where positivity reigns and life is abundant.


We have lived through some dark days... but we will overcome and Jesus will take us to that place... I am reminded of this awesome lyric from one of my favorite songs: "Then you look at this prisoner and say to me "son stop fighting a fight that's already been won""

 
The following is the first ever contribution from my Hubby to my Blog:

"Evil lurks and we stand near it. 
If faith is strong we shouldn't fear it. 
And, for those who choose to walk the devils path. 
They will answer & suffer God's wrath."

I personally Love it. 
But, it does come from my knight in shining armour. Husband and partner in life..so I have nothing ill to say... ever. 

{Band-Aides} & Election Night

My son is under the impression that a Band-Aid will fix everything. 

Will heal all. 

And, will protect him from pain. 

If only it were that easy. 

As an adult I know the truth. 

Truth which I can't allow to overwhelm me 

even on my worse days... 

Truth that one day will be Victory. 

Truth that is peace at times of chaos. 

Today. 

I pray that your band-aid is present. 

That your healer is truth and that God can create that 

peace that no physical band-aid can ever create. 

Truth is. 

God is my band-aid and HE is my Truth. 

I am not perfect.

But, still I know that 

He has never doubted me..

even though sometimes..

I have doubts about it all. 

I am attempting to do this whole writing a post a day thing for a whole month... 

I have only missed one day so far...and like with everything else in life...

I will NOT give up. 

I will not allow pain to over come or overwhelm...

and I will move forward no matter what. 

Oh yes, AND it's Election Night. 

Where was I, 4 years ago on Election Night, ::HERE::... ::HERE:: and then ::HERE:: and ::HERE:: .....

{Plans & Schedules) #latism

Funny story.

I have these super awesome plans and great schedules dreamed up in my mind and I am sure that after only a week of following them I could, may or should fail but guess what.....I don't plan on giving up!

I want to be that Momma! ::insert sky opening heavens shinning thru and God smiling down at me:: or not. 

Only He knows the truth... my plans and schedules....if they are not surrounded by God's will, they just will not happen, at least not how I would want them to. Therefore...I am not only planning what life "should" be like in my home but also what I want it to grow into in my heart and soul.....and I will pray that if it is God's will today, tomorrow or next week then it will be done.

For now; we {Cami and I} are cleaning, cooking, napping, grocery shopping and paying bills. Camila doesn't mind that my schedules are not working out....and she is doing just fine as long as her breakfast, lunch and dinner come in that order!

I  can't get hung up on what is or will come.... I can only do my best and move forward....

My Momma friends have told me their tips and their schedules and trust me they are some pretty busy gals... as for me... I am not sure what I will ultimately be but in the mean time... we shall see? Ha.

I have a week and a half left before I attend the Latism Conference. I am already learning a lot and trying to make new Bloggy friends so that I am not so lonely, either way I am so Blessed to have been given this opportunity and can't wait to take full advantage of it! Really excited. I made some temporary business cards and can't wait for my real ones to get approved, trying to design them myself and create a Momma of Dos logo! It's a lot of work... I am thinking of consulting a professional. We shall see... God is in control...

Happy Schedules!

Source: Pintrest <3 br="br">

{weary...and decisions}

Normal and OK. Is that really too much to ask for?

Like really.

All I want is for one day to be normal. For one day to be ok. No drama, no ailments.

Is that too much to ask for?

Anyway. I don't usually share too much but here we go...

My Hubby was gone for 3 weeks to Utah, for work... he may have to leave again here in the near future...I think the responsibilities of being a Momma of Dos, a Wife, an outside the home working Momma and just everything else that makes life happen on a day to day basis has finally caught up with me.

I am sick. Nothing to worry about I hope. I have seen my regular doctor he has give me his opinion. He says to me. "Mrs. Gomez, I think you do too much!"..I say to him... "I think YOU do too much!"... what? Like a boss. Ha. No but seriously he has given me a serious decision to make and a referral to a Internal Specialist. I will see her on Thursday and I think that based on that I will know what and where this life will lead.

But, back to my question. Normal and OK, is it possible??

If it isn't then what in the world will I ever do?

I pray.

I think.

And, soon I must decide.

We shall see.

Oh, the Dramas of an everyday Momma..... {this line is so totally my tag line from now on...} Ha.

{Mid-Life Crisis} or Not...

I know who I am...

Cheesy beyond repair
Faithful without doubt
A little over confident
Dramatic; Fo'sho'
Talkie and Loved
Impatient
A Momma of Dos and Wife to One
Blessed
Loud and outspoken
Truthful and Bold
An Overthinker {this is getting better with age...}
A true friend
Gosspiy {workin' on it..LOTS!}
Loved
Forgiven
A hopeless romantic
An optimist with a dark side
Emo' at times
 Happy
A fatty girl who loves food {did I say LOVES food...cause I do}
a Dreamer of BIG HUGE dreams!
Someone with a Past {at times very sad}
A survivor at best
a Sharer
A storyteller
a  writer
a creator of crafts
A dancer at heart
giver
caregiver
provider
supporter
A Daughter
A Sister
a mover and shaker....
I make it happen...
no matter how hard it is to stand...I do
I am a defender of those people, places and situations that I think need me
I face reality and stand up for what I believe in.
I voice it all and leave nothing at rest
I am a pusher
I am a critic
I know I can be a nag
 A Believer
Jesus Follwer
Bible Reader

Trust me. 
I know who I am.


I am not sure what all my brain, heart and soul have been going through lately  but I do know that God has been hard at work...for months now... the clouds are clearing though and everything that was murky and dark are now looking bright and clear!
At least I think so....

How can it be that at 31 I still feel...lost? Am I am not where I want to be? Does life have more for me? Maybe I should stop while I am ahead....

But, seriously. If I feel this way at 31, I definitely don't want to feel lost at 41.
I would want to have my life in place by the time I am 40 and my kids are older...
I don't mean perfect.
I just mean, well adjusted and settled....stable and established.
Happy and fulfilled.

I know.
Trust me, I know how Blessed I am.
I have TWO amazing children.
I have an awesome Husband. I have a great family and a good job.
What else do you want Connie?
You can't have the world...I know this.
I don't want to loose myself because I am constantly seeking better....
I simply want life to be LIFE but better... Ha.

No pues no quieres nada!

Yo se que....el que quiere azul celeste que le cueste...
but how much is it ?
Cause I am more than sure that I have paid it in full and then some!
Ha.

Or maybe not but it sure does feel like it....

{When God is silent....} ♥

There come days in my life...when I can't hear Him. I know He is there and I can see Him speaking....but I don't know what He is saying or trying to get me to understand.... everything gets lost in translation.

My thoughts these days are; what is it? What is my purpose here? What should I be learning? Why am I not "there" yet?

It's frustrating and God knows it that I try everyday to get back on track.

I have NEVER stated that I am perfect, nor do I pretend or attempt to be....I am me. I am who I am. I speak up and move into action when I think it's just. I help others and try to build them up when I know they can't seems to do it for themselves...I don't do it for the light. I do it because I love them and want to see people succeed.

Then I come back to me. Am I really helping myself enough?

In order for us to help others we must take care of ourselves first, right? Be good in body, mind and spirit as an individual so that I can as a whole bring light and courage into other peoples lives.

It's hard.

These are thoughts.

And, I really don't know what all God is saying. Or how much longer He wants me to wait...but I am here. An open heart. A ready mind and an able body....waiting.

To hear His voice.

To follow Him.


In the midst of my imperfections and in the midst of my stubbornness. I am ready.

But, I can't hear Him....

Just yet.

{On Working Late}

At one point in my life I thought I wanted a career...you know that kind of life where you have 20 different people calling your name all at once {not to be confused with your kids calling your name 20 times in a span of 20 seconds}, deadlines to meet, meetings to attend and  drink coffee for no reason at any given time of the day {this may have just happened regardless}....

Yeah. Uhm. At 31 with 2 toddlers{ the almost 3 year old and the 1 & 1/2'er}. That's totally not me anymore. At all. Or so I have come to realize it. Not by choice at least. In reality. That is my life outside of my home, I have happened to fall into this this called a career. And, it's been a bit well overwhelming to say the least.

You know as a young 20-something year old planning a future, buying a home and getting married while going to school and obtaining a degree to be a full-time career woman out in corporate America, I thought I was doing everything right. Now that I am 31, married, working, with 2 kids, and just so much going on around me, I doubt myself and where I am going or what I am really meant to do.

I want the at home life. With my Momma Loves running around in their diapers or not {totally by choice they both now know how to take off their clothes and their diapers, yes I know my life is awesome}, yelling and crying all at once, pushing and punching while pulling hair and asking each other for hugs, don't ask, they are totally filled with a  million emotions at every minute of the day, my house is  melt-down city or lovey-dovey town at any given moment of the day all the while asking to watch "Wal-Ace" for the millionth time on demand or else! {My son is totally into Wallace and Gromit, don't ask, I have no clue. He is a pretty random kid.}

That's the life I thrive for. {Silly me.}

I know it's not possible RIGHT now but maybe one day....in the near future. And, I know I ask for this a lot, the whole being at home with my kids and the maybe one day in the near future thing. It's just that the life I have I know is a Blessing and amazing but I just struggle with what God may be telling me to do. Drop it all and be a Super Momma or keep this life and prove to myself that I can do it.... that I CAN be everything I have ever wanted to be and more..but then I think; I am everything I have wanted to be and with my kids...so much more that I never thought I could be. Does that make sense?

It's a whole different world to have known the work-life and then motherhood.... I struggle. I want them both but where am I needed most?

I wanted to change the world and make the Hispanic community and better place...I wanted to heal the wounded and be recognized by the President one day for being so good at it. These days, I want to make my son be nice to his Nena {Sister} and my home and happy place filled with joy and happiness, faith and love, I want to heal every "boo-boo"  right as it happens and never be recognized for cause it's my duty as the Momma of my home. All I ask in return is for a warm hug that lights up my day, a nap with my lil'Momma and kisses from my lil'Man... it's the most amazing life that I want..but I guess we can't have it all...

The title really doesn't fit my post but it's when the feeling emerged as the clock hit 11pm and my Hubby texted me to say he was leaving  my daughter at my Mother-in-laws so that I wouldn't have to wake her up at 5 am the next morning just to take her back. The emotions hit me as I got home and my son was asleep and couldn't tell me how awesome of a day he had at school and how he had gone to the potty all by himself. The emotions arose as my Hubby said good-night and good-morning all at once, knowing that I wouldn't see him again for another 10 to 12 hours... all while working late and seeking purpose as to where this may lead me... and where God wants me to go....

I am a follower of Jesus but some days...I become confused and think about which path He really wants to lead me down...

While working late....

By the WAY, it's currently melt-down city in my house..... 

looking veryyy tired after a very long week.

{Being Human}

It's "OK" to hit rock bottom and be humbled.

I  need it every once in a while.

To realize that WOW, I am human.

I am not perfect and neither are my actions.

My house is not always clean and my words are not always kind.

HEY. I am human. 

I learn though. I try to change. 

And, when this all gets the best of me. 

I move on. 

Forward. 

Towards a better me. 

Just sayin'....

Move on.


Let go.


Trust.

God.

No matter how much I fumble and miss....I want to move forward and be ME. Imperfect and loving.


Just sayin'.....

I am human.