::learning to be the light...:: #newworldson

It's hard to be in a space where you just don't feel right. Where you fit in like a square peg fits a round hole. But, then you learn... to "belong" to that place.

To exist in that place and know that regardless of what your true purpose is the present has a lot to say about who you are and where you will go. I know that you don't have a second chance for a first impression. But right now, I am learning to be the light in the place where I am currently.

People already have a perception of me and they think they know who I am. But, in reality when it comes to my daily 8 to 5 pm, I reveal very little here and it's the same there. At work they don't really know me. I don't really allow my guard to come down. I have been working there for almost a year yet I don't think they would understand. Is that selfish? Or wrong of me not to share because I feel they will not be able to appreciate who I am as an aspiring Writer/ Blogger and Social Media expert. It just doesn't got well....with the place I am in. 

I don't think God places you in the wrong place but maybe in a place where you just don't belong as a constant reminder to keep hope alive, to remain in  faith and to seek him further. It has happened every time for me. In the last 6 years or so my passion hasn't really met with my job but I have learned to love the positions I have held, embraced them and excelled within. To me, that's what it has been about otherwise I sit here miserable feeling stuck in an 8 to 5pm, that is never right. 

Instead I choose to bloom and explore in the place that I am currently planted in, not because I don't care to progress or find a better place for myself but because until that time comes.... I want to be happy, learn, grow and enjoy my time here. It isn't difficult. You simply learn that although at times irrelevant to your true purpose it's always a learning experience, that allows you to meet new people and grow in experiences and faith. 

What about you, where are you blooming today?

::OVERWHELMED::

Last year I attended a Women's conference, the name "Overwhelmed" the message, well yes...Overwhelming. In a good way. 

Ever since then I carry a blue pen in my purse and the word on it speaks out to me every time I use it.

Overwhelmed.

I used the pen this past weekend at yet another faith-filled mini-seminar, this time for couples. It was a message of Intimacy, yes in a physical way but more importantly in a Spiritual and Emotional manner.

And, it's something that I have taken with me all week. 

Why do I become overwhelmed? Well, because I am now a Momma and doing is well what I do! Then there are passions that I have like Volunteering and this here Blog. And, 8 hours of crazy work days, plus a house to maintain and children's birthday parties and family parties and all kind of other meet-ups and fun life activities to do!

How do I recognize that I can become overwhelmed? I remind myself that while it would be fun to meet Sid the Science kid at 9 am on a Saturday morning at the Children's museum, my 4 year old and almost 3 year old wouldn't mind sleeping in and eating pancakes instead. They have no matter what we do. I remind myself that while I can get free tickets to the Children's festival by blogging about it, I can also go to the park that same day and enjoy my family in a less crowded space.

How do I make peace with not being overwhelmed? I allow my heart and soul to take over my life rather than the world.

Yes, all of these activities are great and I do participate in a lot of things during the week; Rodeo work, work Work, Bible Study, mentoring and preparing for new Blogging experiences..but my children and my Husband are not me.

They enjoy down time and relaxing and I should respect them. Stressing them out with daily and weekend schedules is well overwhelming. Allowing our family to just be, gives us more peace and more rest to enjoy not only each others company but also the smaller things in life that we tend to ignore when we try to fill our calendars with so much of everything else.

While my calendar quickly fills-up with my responsibilities and passions...my families calendar sits still and remains in peace, and that works for us.... 

What about you? How do you remain in control and not allow yourself to become overwhelmed? 

One Word ::Instagram::

The week before New Year's is a busy one. People are seeking resolutions to be made and goals to keep up with. I am no different. I seek inspiration, new motivation to propel me through another year. 

If you know me, you know that Instagram is one of my favorite places. I follow several like-minded Bloggers and now Fitness Momma's. I find all kind of new information. I use a lot of hash-tags and I love it. 

Well a few days before January 1, I found an Instagram Momma who posted about "One Word". It's a devotional on the YouVersion App or website. I looked into it and I read that when I found my "one word", I would know. I didn't believe it. But, it has happened. You allow this word to transform you over the next 365 {now 364} days. 

The weekend before January 1 I went out to eat with my family. While there the chaos unfolded, as usual, my unruly toddlers took over our dinner and I couldn't find order no matter how upset I became. Instead I ate my dinner choking back tears and with feelings of having failed that night, like many other nights. I am pretty resilient and I shook it off. 

Then over the next few days, like almost every American, maybe person around the word, I began to reflect on 2013 and the days to come in 2014. I read one night on Instagram, "some years are questions. others are answers." Last year no doubt was difficult, a lot happened. No job, illnesses, death, and moments of uncertainty. I allowed many people and situations to take me to a place of bitterness and to steal my joy. Not because I was jealous or not happy for other people's success but because I felt as if people around us were not happy for our small or big successes and maybe even wished we would fail. 

As much as we want our Social Media appearance to be equal to our real lives, it hardly ever seems that way. I attempt to be real and post most of our failures for others to relate to and learn from. But, at the same time I don't want to be a Debbie Downer who only has complaining and un-happy moments to share, who does? Which is probably why my Husband has this idea that other's think we are perfect. No matter how many times I repeat it, doesn't seem to sink in. We are NOT perfect, far from it. But, we try everyday to wake up and get this life right. 

Now the reflection: What do I want to do differently in 2014? There have been many moments when I can't relax. I can't get comfortable in my own situation. Not because of myself or my kids, or my Husband but because of those around me. What will they think? What will they say? How harsh will they judge me as a Momma, as a Wife, as an employee, as a person, as a writer.... etc. Then one night as I read through a devotional it happened. My word. "My word" for 2014 had come to me and I knew it was MY word. 

To seek it in every moment of chaos. To be reminded that no matter what or how bad the situation is we should always remain. It was there. I felt it and I loved it. I hope that for the next 364 days I can embrace it and allow it to transform me. So that 364 days from now I can say I had the best year because of this word.... 

PEACE. 

Peace in who I am. 

Peace in where I am going. 

Peace in where I have come from. 

Peace in how far I have already traveled. 

Peace in the moments of chaos. 

Peace no matter who is watching. 

Peace. {And hope that this word will lead to better things.}

What about you? What has been your reflection and answer for 2014??

Borrón y Cuenta Nueva!

You know what my favorite part about life is? Our human ability to recreate it.

The ability to start over. Clear out the past and move on. I know that I have had many chances to start over and why not start over in my 30's. I turned 32 last month and you know what? It's time to start over. The beauty of 2nd, 3rd and 4th chances is they are all yours!



The other day I finally got my copy of Start by Jon Acuff and ironically enough I have not started but just the cover alone has inspired so many new feelings!

So, today. I start over. And, since I am a person of exact circumstances and timing, I will start my book when I feel it's right.

The energy is almost in that place where the ruts and blah-ness are gone and you just can't live in that cloud anymore. For me it was this week and more so today!

What about you? Today is Friday, July 19th, will you hit the START button and start over?

Why Hello There! Hola!

I know. It's been a while. I turned 32 while I was away and this past weekend we baptized my daughter. So, yes I have been a little busy.

Life is good. Turning 32 made me realize how much I have changed. How much my 30s are making me into who I really am. Not really carefree but a little more free of cares that I had when I was in my 20s. I now realize how much I cared about what others thought, how much I worried about whether or not people liked me, how much I cared about anything really. Not that I don't care anymore just that those type of things about  life I don't have time for because I chase a 3 year old and 2 year old around all day which consume my life and I love that! 

I don't want to have to worry about those things happening around me. I know that a lot of it affects my everyday and my family but at the end of the day if my kids and my Hubby are taken care of, then I have done my job for that day and that is what I care about the most. 

I take it one day at a time and I take in those small things in life that will one day disappear. I want to make my 30s the years that created the best part of my life. I believe that by eliminating unnecessary, I will accomplish that. Life is difficult enough with the necessary if I crowd it with too much of the  {for lack of a better word} "blah", I loose sight of what is really important. 

These days I plan to enjoy my life, my family, and move forward. Less clutter and more simple. Having fun and being "young". One day it will all be over and if I spent my life stuck or dwelling on things, situations or people who are not allowing me to be me and relax, then I think my life will have been horribly spent. 

My life as a 30-something year old should be....Simple. Happy. Care free. Kinda. Trust me. I am not saying that I will some how avoid challenges or difficulties. No. I know life is hard and we must deal with it. But, I am saying that I refuse to allow the unnecessary to crowd me. 

I have done so much in my 20s and I think others don't know that about me or forget. But, I have. College life, Dating life, Marriage, Married life, Life itself and all it's turmoils in-between...I wanted to have children in my late 20s early 30s for a reason. I enjoyed my life before them and now I cherish my life with them. I refuse to allow the unnecessary things to crowd my vision of a happy and enjoyable next 8 years, until I enter the next decade of my life. 

Life is life. It's what you make of it. I have made it what it is and it has taken me over 15 years to get here... and trust me. This is only the beginning. 

Happy Monday everyone! 

Developing Self-Worth {Time & Talents}

It is true that our lives go through many stages and seasons if you will. I know that for years, I went to school, I volunteered and did as much as I could in the Hispanic Community here in Houston. Then, I graduated from college, became a Wife and then a Momma and my life and priorities changed and shifted, in so many ways and in a new direction. 

Today, I have been unemployed for 7 months. I start to think about this journey of being a Stay at Home Momma coming to an end and new journey, a new beginning taking place and it makes me sad. A little bittersweet. I almost want to cry and cling to my house. But, then I think about my time and my talents. 

Since my son was born and almost since I started my Blogging journey in 2008 I have wanted to become a Stay at Home Momma. Then, last year in October after a very frightening series of events, life changing if  you will, I become one. Here I am 7 months later. A survivor after 7 months at home with not one but DOS toddlers. My hats off to all those Momma's at home with more than DOS. Because this Momma can not do it.

The lessons learned here in my home have been those of growth and perseverance and always one DAY at a time and most days, ONE minute at a time. The moods, the emotions were ever changing. The depression and feelings of help-less ness were overwhelming at times.  And, today. I live to tell you that if I can do it, you can too! It's easy. You clean and expect for it to get dirty, you wash and expect to wash again, you cook and expect to cook all day... but you know what... the time that I have spent with my children the last 7 months has been priceless. No matter what happens today or tomorrow, I will always have the 7 months that I tried the whole being a Stay at Home Momma situation. 

"The struggle you're in today, is developing the strength you need for tomorrow"

~Unknown 

I realized back in January that what I wanted for my children and for my life; and needed in order for my children to be successful and learn from example was to find a new job. Something new. Something different. A new journey. 

I am working on it. I feel close. And, then I thought. Why? Where? And, how will this new journey affect my time and use my talents. I pray every day that my purpose shines through in everything that I do and in everything that I have become. And, sometimes I think...I don't have to be out and about in this world to fulfill a purpose, as a Wife and Momma alone I am fulfilling a purpose. 

Yet, these days. I feel like I am being called to do more. Yes, I know that for financial reasons and because of student loan debt we need for me to become once more a Working Outside the Home Momma but still I think that this time this is really going to be easier because I am doing all those things needed to follow the direction for my life. 

Trust me, it took me a long time to get to this place of acceptance and willingness. But, I am here and I am ready. 

I know that we are NOT all made to be awesome Stay at Home Momma's. I never sought out to be that perfect Momma or the most crafty, the most teachable, the most organized, or the most whatever whatever.... I wanted to rest and be at home with my kids. If during that time I could learn to be organized, be crafty and use my time for things that I love like spending time with my children and blogging well then so be it. I am now ready for the next stage, the next level, the next anything that life wants to bring me. 

I will admit for a minute there I felt weak, and as if I had reached my max in this life! But, then I prayed and I changed my thoughts and my willingness to listen not just to my heart but to my surroundings. And, guess what. I am recharged. Inspired. Motivated and prepared. 

I also learned a thing or two about how I was manifesting those feelings. So, I have also changed my eating habits and my daily activity levels. {More on that later.... } 

The questions in my brain tonight: Have I been using my time and talents accordingly? How will I use them now? And, what kind of talents will shine though as a cause of this breakthrough? What about you? Are you living in a new stage and seeking a new challenge? 

{On Healing... }

Last week I read a devotional in my Bible and this is what I heard.... 

"Entering and accepting the pain, seeking direction through the pain and trusting that God has better plans in store....."

Lent is over but the lessons are still being learned...

God is good. I have faith. Things are shaky right now. But, I have faith..in restoration. In healing. In Love. I have faith.

God will heal and restore.

I have faith.

One day. No matter how long it takes. I pray.

{Dig Deeper} What the silence is teaching me....

I haven't always been a "person of faith" and still most days I fail at just about everything and in just about every area of my life... but one thing that I never give up on is seeking or as I have recently discovered... digging deeper. I seek faith and hope in everything because I know that those feelings come at the most unlikely times, from the most unexpected places and at times in the worse of situations.

With that said... the last few months I have been a Stay@HomeMomma and I think that some of the most difficult situations have come about....and for some reason... my ability to handle it all is slowly becoming less? Or maybe this is me becoming stronger? All I know is that for months I felt worn out and overly spent.

When I was in my 20's I fought many battles and looking back...I came out stronger than before...now in my 30's the battles are no longer visible but within. My life is good though. I don't worry about the outside world unless the outside world steps into my life... then it's on. Fighting the battles these days are taken on in a whole new way.... I am a firm believer of Prayer. Silent prayers. Or out-loud with tears... it's all I have most days...

If there is something that I have learned in the last few months as a Stay@HomeMomma is that I have/had little to no patience. You would think that as a Momma and wife I would have lots of it and maybe it's something that in the past I have taken for granted but my patience has I think grown. My "tolerance" of little everyday things has become heightened. I am more aware of the fact that I apparently am not as patient as I should be not just in general with life but as a Momma with two toddlers who love to run and never use their inside voice, as a Wife with a Hubby who works very hard outside the home, as a Friend who needs to be more supportive and encouraging, as a Job Seeker who needs to be reminded that the "dream job" is out there somewhere, as a Sister who needs to learn to just give when giving is impossible, as a Daughter who needs to love no matter what, and as a person of faith...who needs to DIG DEEPER. 

Lent is in full effect and as a person who loves to learn and grow... I have learned that you can never learn enough, and you can always GROW more. My life is NOT perfect, it's far from it. My life is not simple, it's chaos. My heart though is yearning... to dig deeper. 

The silence is great but the lessons are being stored. In a heart, a soul and a brain that will one day, soon, burst... of light and sunshine onto not just her little home deep within but for the world to see. Just because I am silent doesn't mean I am not learning, growing and yes....digging deeper.... 

"I refuse to be limited and I refuse to remain unchanged. I am indeed... changing... deep within... observing and learning.... "~Momma of Dos

{Confidence}

I am a firm believer in the statement that "everything happens for a reason"....

For strength...

For faith...

To seek...

For Love...

With Hope...

and Courage!

As a 30-something old Momma I know that the last few months have opened my eyes to many of my weaknesses as well as my strengths. I don't like to dwell on those negatives that bring me down daily...instead I attempt to increase my faith and strength so that I can move forward.

I have realized that the last few months have allowed me to work on one of my greatest weaknesses; patience..... as a wife, as a Momma and in general. 

Another aspect that seems to have grow immensely is confidence. Who I am and where I am going and even what I look like seems to all be falling into place, I am happy with those areas of my life. Trust me I have never been one to settle and being more, doing more and looking good have always been concerns. Not saying I am giving up on anything or that I am not currently trying to achieve any of the mentioned goals but I am saying that I no longer need the same type of validation that I needed before. I now find happiness in being me and I am OK with what I have or don't have. 

My Hubby tells me daily how great I look before I would tell him "BLAH. I hate me!" I have found that the more I grow to love me the more I believe him. These days my kids tell me that I am beautiful and now that is all that matters to me..... life is good and I pray everyday for it to increase... in faith. In grace. In Love. In peace. In joy and in life itself.

I have confidence that those little places in life, that my career, and my roles in this life are slowly going to fall into place, not because I haven't work hard for them but because at this moment I am seeking; peace and acceptance in other areas and from a different type of group. I realize that I am no longer 20-something and simply seeking but now 30-something and digging deeper. It's a quiet place but an amazing one once I open my eyes, my heart and my ears...to the right words at the right time from the right place... deep inside of my soul. 

Life is to be enjoy and to have fun. Not to be so involved that you become un-involved in life itself. The sun is out. My mood is changing and as my Sister stated... "As our lives change, sometimes our friends should too." I believe that my life has made a complete 360, the constant prayer for more Godly/Positive women in my life is now complete I am surrounded not just by women with my similar walk of life but future goals and family plans. I love it and I am very happy with them and their constant love and friendship! 

These ladies have in the last few months not only provided words of encouragement and uplifting friendship but also unconditional support in various forms. I am thankful for their self-confidence and the confidence that they helped build in me. 

Never is life perfect but it is slowly but surely, complete and fulfilling... 

CONFIDENCE:  
Never comes from having         all the answers; it comes          from being open to all the                                                              QUESTIONS. ~Earl Stevens

{A lot of Faith} ♥

Yesterday my Sister said to me...."if it's meant to be then it will be."

So simple.

So true.

Truth.

Something I am SURE I have said to her many times or to others who are seeking. But, why is it so hard to accept that right now? I have faith that whatever is meant to be these days will be. I keep busy and fill my calendar. With my goals and my purpose. Not worrying too much about what everyone else has going on or where everyone else is in their journey of seeking, I have been there....and yes..most times...done that. Right now it's time for this Momma to seek in a different manner. Not only a Dream job but MY dream for the next 30 years and my family's future.

Years ago when I first met my Hubby I don't think I imagined my life to become, so full of LIFE. Our kids are a Blessing. Such an awesome Blessing, that at one point I didn't know if it would ever be possible to have children. At 32, I can honestly say that I have lived my life and accomplished almost everything that I have set my mind to do, small or big. Sometimes walking away from God, so far ahead that I have to stop myself and be reminded that He has been my strength. But, in the midst of it all I have never lost sight of His Love, His Wisdom and His words; which live deep inside my heart. Deep inside my soul. I knew of God as a kid, I didn't know God until I was 24. 24. I am  now 31, 32 in June. Those things, situations or circumstances that I thought were a priority then, now sit on the back burner.

I have found myself, in many dark corners and through many heartfelt and horribly shed tears. But, through it all I have remained. In faith. In light. And, open to the possibilities ahead. So, why is it so hard to accept where I am right now? In this quiet place. Still. Married to a great and supportive Man who yes...puts up with all my crazy antics and blog posts, Ha. Ha. A Momma of DOS very active, very hyper, somewhat spoiled {ok, very SPOILED}, tantrum throwing and demanding children who never use their inside voice and who consume my every being in the best way possible; who are teaching me patience and about using my inside voice. {True story; my son asked me not to SPEAK SO LOUDLY,or yell, at him and to instead speak to him in a calm inside voice....convinced that he would listen to me, I tried it and he still doesn't listen to me, boys... Oyi.}

Be still.

Waiting.

It's hard for me.

But, I have faith.

I remain.

God knows when and how. 

And, no matter how difficult it is to be still...I pray for His peace and patience while He works on my prayers which I know He has heard very loud, dramatically and clear. {I am an active pray-er!} Ha. God sees my heart. He knows my heart. And, I pray that He can hear my heart.... shouting out to Him. In every way possible.

Psalm 46:10

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” 

Officially. Fat.

NO JOKE. 

In May I lost about 8 or 9 pounds and OH.BOY.TRUST.ME. Have I found them!

I know that I say this a lot but tonight as I stuff my face with Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie and read about Clean Diets and look at pictures of slim beautiful 20-something year olds...I told myself.

"THIS IS IT."

I can't continue down this path of body-self-destruction. It's unhealthy and honestly I feel uncomfortable.

The excuse that I work 12 hours a day, have two toddlers and a ton of clothes to wash; just don't fly anymore around here!

I need to get my Big Momma Booty in shape! Pronto!!
  
Good-bye Chocolate Fudge Brownie. I will catch you on the flip side and when you see me again, which you won't for a really, really long time, I will be looking good! Now take that and double fudge it!

Ok. A bit dramatic. But, you get the point!

I just know I can do it. My prayers have not been where they should be and I am going to take this time to get back on track! Focus has been lost and time is a wasting!!!!!

Join me if you will and let me know what your biggest weight loss GOAL is for the rest of the year!

Share your diets or exercising tips here!

{Life} Lately.....

It's been... a little bit of this {AHHHHH, UGGGGHHHH, EEEEEEEK} and a little bit of that {SMILE,HAPPY, TEARS, JOY}....And still we have managed to make it through a very difficult month... but I think the hardest month is yet to come...

And honestly, I can't complain.... Could things be better? Sure.
Could things be worse? Of course!
But, you know what...I am taking it truly, ONE.DAY.AT.A.TIME. 

Lots going on at work these days; which if you will notice I have been talking about that subject a little more....lots going on at home... as usual, my kids the chaos of my heart, my Husband the one that stole it.....above all filled with love, peace and faith.... 

I have been trying, TRYING really hard to get back on track with my weight and my health...it has not been the best since May. I had this awesome goal of loosing some weight for my Hubby's graduation and I did but since then I just can't manage to get it together! But, I want to! I will be held accountable here. I have to get back on track with good eating and more physical motion. I tried Zumba today and it was fun, so we shall see!

As for life..it will be there....some days crazy others boring but life none-the-less.

I love mine...

No matter how much I complain...and I shouldn't but I do.... It's a great one...

Happy Wednesday everyone!

2 Timothy 1:7

New International Version (NIV)

⁷ For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.

{Change} ♥

For a few weeks now I have been feeling....off. As if I just didn't belong. I was in-between feelings. For people, for life, for my future.

This morning it hit me. 

It's called Change.

God has been calling me to look around myself and reevaluate; friendships, work, life, myself. It's not a bad thing, it's a freeing thing. How else can I walk towards God's bigger plan and purpose for my life, if I don't allow change, if I don't embrace it, if I don't accept it. 

That's probably the most difficult, accepting it. I have had many, many amazing friendships and jobs in my life, I have learned so much from all of them. But, it's time to move on. To move forward and God is calling me there. I have to accept it. No matter who or what gets left behind. I will have to accept it.

Friendships change, they grow, they mature, they move in different directions, with different goals and ambitions, with different opinions and views. But, then God opens your eyes and allows you to realize that He's replaced those friendships with others that are a bit more like you and on the same track of family, career and life. AND. THAT. IS.OK. In some cases those friendship were already there, I just didn't open my heart to what should be and was being stubborn as to what I thought I wanted it to be.

Lately, I have been freaking out about things that have happened even at work, that have given me bigger responsibilities. Bigger opportunities. Bigger challenges. And then I realized "Connie, now is your time to shine!" Wake up. For so many years I have asked for this, I have prayed for it with tears in my eyes and God kept saying, "hold on." Now I have it and I didn't even know my bottom from my head but this morning, clarity.

Clear. ::deep breath of relief::

Everything happens for a reason. Change is one those things that has to happen in order for us to further fulfill our purpose for His reason!

I am so excited. I am moving forward and I am ready for this change!

Ready.

Set.

GO!

I hope you are embracing change and opening your heart to what is to come. God is with you. In Him find strength. In Him find peace. In Him find FREEDOM.


For change. 

::deep embracing breath::

I will place my focus where God wants it to be and not where I want it to be.

God is with me. I know.

On the Skinny..but not so much...

Yesterday I went back to the gym after oh, about 2 years away from it. Before I had my son, I was a workout buster. Not quite a workout freak but I loved working out and oh yes there was this thing called time. You know b.K. {before Kids}! Ha.

I love my children and have attempted to stay active for them. So, yesterday while I was signing up for my membership at the gym, Francesca, yes beautiful name and she is a super cutie with a 2 year old herself, asked me; "What are your goals?" I was thinking...hmmmmmm. Well, in all reality, my goal is NOT necessarily to be skinny..let's get real, I have never been skinny, this Momma's got some meat on her. Proud of it. I have always been a "love me as I am" advocate so for me it's more about being strong, healthy and feeling good about myself! I can be as skinny as sticks, and I have been in my 20's when I thought food was over-rated but then I learned that food can be your best friend and I went with that; and still feel ugly or be ugly {inside}.

But, again, not in my 20's anymore. That's life. {No regrets here though, my 20's were great; graduated college, traveled lots, partied too much, planned my wedding, bought our home and got pregnant..TWICE..but I want my 30's and plus to be even better!}

Some nights are all about the frozen pizza and ice cream; uhm..I have an almost 1 year old, 2 1/2 year old and a 32 year old going on 2, HA! The fastest easiest thing is pizza in the oven and ice cream out of the freezer. And, don't get me wrong, my amazing Hubby and I attempt to eat healthy every night, until life happens and then we just eat. You know to survive and all. So, our best outlet and most effective way of staying healthy is to keep active! We take walks to the park and around our neighborhood or simply play in the backyard with Santi, soon Cami will be running around TOO and that will be even better. We love being outdoors and thankfully so do our kids. But, AGAIN. There is this thing called life, it tends to happen on a regular basis and well then we get all "let's just watch a movie tonight" and/or "let's try and get this house somewhat presentable to the general public." and maybe every once in a while we like to shower and sleep.

So, my goals for this whole going to the gym routine...are; to be healthy, to stay strong and to feel good! I have spoken! I don't want to get caught up in what Sally Q. looks like cause uhm my name is Momma Gomez and like I said; curves...they come with me. I have no plans to wear a yellow polka dot bikini this summer those ideas went away when I turned 18 and realized I don't look like Sally Q. plus I feel more comfortable in shorts and a t-shirt, cause those bikini's are tiny and if it falls off, everything and I mean everything will fall OUT with it. Just sayin'...

I also am NOT a fan of diets or depriving myself of yumma goodness that, YES God intended me to eat...I just don't believe it in. Again, yes, I will eat healthy I don't mind a salad and a Greek yogurt every now and again but I also don't want to be so overly protective of myself that I end up craving everything I "can't" have. I love to eat. I try to eat in moderation. A little bit of everything. Unless it's pozole and tacos, then it's on! Ha. But, again I believe that with a good balance everything is achievable.

We must also rely on God be a little secure about ourselves. God made me. He created me to be strong and have will power. To have some faith in myself and what I can and cannot do. To be happy and stable and to be me. Therefore. I should want to be healthy, strong and feel good about myself. God is asking me to maintain self-control and not have to over eat or be too lazy. I am also NOT a fan of diet shakes and magic slimming pills. No offense to anyone, I know different strokes for different folks. Don't get me wrong, in my 20's, I tried it all, and I did everything I could to be "skinny"! You learn from your mistakes and I plan on making my 30's about being well-balanced and practicing self-control. I can do it. All things are possible through Christ,{Philippians 4:13

Amplified Bible (AMP)¹³I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who ^[a]infuses inner strength into me; I am ^[b]self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency].} and I may have to pray about it every.single.day from now on, but it will happen.

Not bashing on anyone or anything. Diabetes is REAL in my family. Most of my father's family has either passed away from it or is currently on dialysis. So, trust me I know I should be keeping healthy. Plus, I have had Gestational Diabetes and I've learned a think or two about balance and self-control. Being preggers and not being able to eat, MOST anything fatty and super delicious brings on the humbleness like no other.

So, what are you saying here Connie? I am saying that being healthier, stronger and feeling good about oneself is all about our own strength and self-control. It's all about obeying God and prayer. It's all about balance and well-being. It's all about doing what works best for you and fits your schedule. And, in the long run it's all about what makes you happy. Because we all know that when Momma is happy our homes are happy. Our well being stems from happiness and the happiness of our Husband's, significant others and CHILDREN. For them, I will be happy!

Happy Tuesday Everyone! Make it a GREAT one.

{Accountability} ♥

On Monday I wrote about my Momma/Wifey feelings which would then translates into Woman feelings.
My Woman/Momma/Wifey heart has been weighing a little heavy on my chest these days. It's so easy to get caught up in helping and doing for everyone else that you quickly forget that if Momma don't feel good then no one will feel good. How you feel and how you show those emotions rubs off on your spouse and your children. That's a whole lot of icky in one household. Trust me. I know.

I don't like feeling blah. You know those days when the pity parties just don't stop and you are the guest of honor and the ONLY guest...the self-drama is all up in your face. In Spanish we say.. "haces una tormenta en un vaso de agua.." {I drown myself in shallow waters...}

Those days when what I look like, who I am, where I have come from, what I have "achieved" or not achieved, and where I think I am going just doesn't add up or seem at all right.

Then, I realized... "I am having a mid-life crisis". It didn't hit me right at 30 but I've had a few months to wallow..in my 30's... and uhm, oh.M.gee. I AM SO 30! I definitely feel it today. Not like today, today but these days... HA!

I discovered in these little self-pity parties that I am my own Debbie Downer. Ouch. I don't want to be that person for myself! I should love myself. I should appreciate myself. I should be happy with myself. Yet. I wasn't. {I am not.} Then I thought. How? How did I get to this place of self-yucky? I slowly allowed myself to be defined by situations and circumstances. I had that downward spiral into being the person I know I am not.

Well, there is no sense what.so.ever in remaining in THAT place. {It's not healthy, for one.} NO WAY. That's just not me. It's never been me. I move. I create. I am who I am and I move forward!

I will. I have. I can. Those are the words filling my heart today. Over and over. I will. I have. I can. Most of my current blah I know has come from my physical appearance. I looked in the mirror the other day and thought...this is me? Surely it can't be? But, yep it was! Wow. I am so 30! Ha.

 Change. How?

ONE. DAY. AT. A. TIME.

One small new change is accountability. I have a couple of again, ah-MA-zing, women who are trying every day to help me achieve these SELF-LOVING goals, in return, I will more than willingly help them achieve SELF-LOVE. I did say this was a year of change.

So, let the SELF-LOVING begin!

{Perfect day to start....it's Ash Wednesday! Let the next 40 days begin....}

{Falling Off} Means getting back up again....

I was all like "YEAH! I'm gonna do this. This year I will be a Supa'Star Blogger and Blog everyday and post pictures every day!" then I was all like, "Yeah, I got to go back to work, I am super tired and I don't feel like posting today!" {Whoa!}

Ha.

Well, I have fallen off the whole 365 project for about a week or so but you know what, that's OK, there is no "Blogger-Police" who is gonna give me a huge Blogger-Ticket cause I have not been keeping up with my non-New Years Resolution list. If there is, don't tell him/her where I am! Ha.

There is beauty in falling flat on your face. {Yes, I said it. I am Human. I make mistakes but...} There is no affect or effect on others, only on yourself. And, you know what? All you can do is get back up again...literally dust yourself off and keep moving FORWARD. How sad would it be if I fell on my face and remained there? I mean. How heartbreaking for me. How disappointing for me. The best thing about starting a new year is being a new you. I am done with dwelling on things, situations, people, me, everything. I am moving on.

Well after that little heart wrenching moment, let me continue with this.

I have some small projects this week...

• I have Photoshop on my computer. I have never used it. {Now is when you can yell at me.} I need to learn how to use it. So, this week I will do as much research as need be to learn. 

• I am also on a mission to print pictures, book a Birthday session for Cami's {First Birthday portraits!} and get pictures framed. We shall see how that goes! 

• There is LOTS brewing in the Gomez household most of which I wish to keep to myself... {No, I am not pregnant...but we have been talking about Numero TRES a lot, but future...future... } I am just constantly praying for God to give us guidance and peace in all of our choices in 2012. 

• I have started to plan Cami's first birthday and praying about Ricardo's graduation party. Fun. Fun. 

I have gotten, I think, a lot of my chest in the last few weeks..mostly in talking to my Sister and my Hubby.... this weekend with my Sis-in-Law and a few good friends.. I think peace will be achievable in 2012. Finally.

Well Happy Monday to All!

Resolutions~Smeshalution!

I didn't make any in 2011....
My life changed forever when I had my children. I learned that you take one day at a time. 
And we have. Therefore in 2012 I will be constantly reminded of that. 

I am not perfect. 

I must take it one day at a time. 

I will make it a goal to pray every day for my family and myself. 

I will make it a priority to continue to pray every night with my children and instill faith,values and morals as the days go by and they get older.

I will learn to move on. 

I will learn to let go and truly let God. {Easier said than done.}

I will attempt to write EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. for the sake of keeping clear records for my children and myself.

I will attempt to take MORE pictures of my kids, they will only be this little ONE time... 

I will strive EVERY.SINGLE.DAY to be a better Momma, Wife, Daughter, Sister, Friend and Family member.

I will make the best of every resource that I have and deal with my current situations one at a time. 

I will not get ahead of myself or make assumptions. 

I will further learn to tame my tongue. 

I will smile EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. God has given me the most AMAZING Blessings aside from Life itself! 

I will exercise and eat healthier, for myself and for my children. 

I will be happier as the days go by. {It's not a difficult task!}

I will pray more for others. 

I will love others more {my pride less}.

I will bring joy and pride to my home and my family! {My Hubby and Children deserve it!}

And, I will add to this list as the days, weeks and months go by! 



 HAPPY 2012 EVERYONE!! Let's make every day count because we count! 

Much Love from Momma of Dos!

{A Menu and some Changes....}

I wanted to share what we actually ate for Thanksgiving..I don't have pictures, SORRY! 

Thanksgiving Menu:

Turkey {Marinaded with Tony Chachere's Injectable Roasted Garlic and Herbs; My Hubby made a rub for the outside from the Tony Chachere's Creole Seasoning} We cooked it for over 5 hours... it was yumma! If I do say so myself!

Ham {from Sam's Club, fully cooked and honey glazed baked with fresh pineapple slices}

Stuffing {my Momma's recipe... bagged seasoned stuffing mix, ground beef, rice, chopped up onions, bell peppers and celery; seasoned with salt and pepper to taste, fried then baked together added broth from boiling the turkey gizzards.} My Mother-in-Law made some as well but I don't know her recipe... :)

Seasoned fresh Green beans { I boiled the green beans then fried them with coarse black pepper and bacon! Bacon makes everything better...}

Corn on the Cob {Boiled with butter and garlic salt}

Mashed Sweet Potatoes {I boiled them then pureed them in the food processor my hubby added nutmeg and cinnamon.}


Lumpy Mashed Potatoes { Made by my Sis; boiled potatoes, heavy whipping cream, salt and pepper to taste}


Fruit Salad {Ric's cousin Erica made it! Very Yumma! }

Green bean casserole {Ric's Aunt MaryAnn made it...also Yumma!}

Pumpkin & Pecan pies and an Apple Cinnamon Bunt Cake { My Momma bought some and Ric's Aunt Yolanda made one from scratch, my Sis-in-Law Ale made the cake..... Yummmmaa!}

Dinner rolls and Tostadas... we is Mexican and some Salsa Verde {Just boiled green tomatoes and jalapeño peppers added some salt and once they were soft I blended them....}

Whole Cranberries Cranberry Sauce {Canned Ocean Spray..HA!}

Gravy { Canned as well; white and brown}

Some White Wine and Coronas....

Ahhhhh. I  hope I didn't forgot anything....


So, after TWO whole days of this.... I have decided to make lots of changes in the next 30-days... yep! I am going to do a detox and possible "look" change...I am scared and not sure how it will go..but we shall see!


I will start December 1.

{Taking back my LIFE!} Semana: 1

This week I made a resolution!

After my reservation for...Pity Party, Table of One, was cancelled... I decided to take back my life. Like any other normal human being, I am going to fight this pain! I REFUSE, to allow it to win and steal my joy! It, IT, doesn't have that kind of power over me! It just doesn't! What was I crazy to think that I could wallow for more than a few days! NO!

This morning, I woke up, took my meds, worked through the pain and got moving...I almost, almost put makeup on! {One day at a time Connie. One day at a time! Ha.} I hate to make light of a painful situation..but it's going to be the only way! The only way! As I got dressed Ric said...are you pain? {Yes.} cause you look like your in pain... {Thank you Captain Obvious! HA. Don't tell him I said that..Ha. He'd be mad! Ha.}

This week my goal is to work through the pain every morning and make progress in what ever needs to be done for the week....


I will update everyone soon... in the mean time...

I am looking for Guest Bloggers; I thought I wanted stories of Thankfulness but I think what I really want is a list..in the form of my previous Thankful Thursday's post. You can be Thankful for one thing or a hundred. I would like about 5 people I will be posting the day of Thanksgiving along with my own Thankful List! 

Let me know if you'd like to join our Thankfulness party! Just email me at: mommaofdos@gmail.com

(Pity Party}

That's right.

I woke up at 3 am today. Once more in pain. I prayed. I took my meds and then I thought. Why? Why am I allowing this pain to take over my life? To run me? WHY?!

For days now the pity party has been at my house, with one guest. Yes. Me.

Just now I thought; Ignore the pain, work through it and get past it! I stopped thinking about what was hurting and decided to sit down and read. I started with my good friend Casey's blogs, the Kathy, then Karen... all with the same message. Life. It happens. Why am I wallowing? Why haven't I taken God's offer to hold my hand and walk me through this? Why haven't I gone to church in over a month? Why Connie?

Then I thought. Life is passing you by. Life is happening and you are too busy... having this {ugh} pity party  for yourself...everyday. Every hour. Every minute. Get over it. 

I am seeking your face dear Lord. I am ready to start over. To take over. My health needs you. My body needs you. My heart needs you. I need you.

No more will allow the enemy to take over me. No more.

He (Jesus) said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.” Mark 5:34