::Friday Letters:: ....with a little rant... kinda..sorta

Dear Friday, 

Do you know that it's October 3rd? Let me say that again. OCTOBER 3rd, where in the heck did the last 9 months go?!?!?!? No really, this is a joke right. OCTOBER. Only 3 months for 2015 to be here? I am not ready for this. 

Sincerely, 

Emotionally Freaking Out!

Dear Friday, 

I am beat. No really like to the ground. I need to find time, organization and did I mention time? Maybe finding my mind and some sanity would be good too. Our little family is so busy, every week that my time just never seems to be enough. Note to self: taking things off my plate should not be followed by adding bigger more difficult things to my life! Ahii. 

Thanks for not having my back Friday! You owe me some major amount of margaritas! 

Dear Friday, 

Ignore my rants the lack of sleep is causing a total meltdown and I am really OK, I just need a nap. NO really, I am fine. ::hi, my name is Connie and sleep is for weak.:: 

#teamnosleep 

Dear Life,

Thank you for the last 9 months, you have no idea the amount of people of I have invested in who in return have inspired and motivated me to this very place and moment. I think that I have propelled into a very good place and I am happy. I am blessed. A little tired and out of my mind but in a good place to start over and begin the bigger journey. My true purpose. To follow my passion and see my goals through. 

Thankfully yours, 

This Momma

Dear Life, 

Have I thanked you for my little family yet? I do this Monday thru Thursday and the weekends too. And, yes, my kids are a lot nutty but they are the cutest little brown people I have ever met. My son has perfected his Mexican grito every time a corrido, tejano song or ranchera comes on the radio, it's amazing really. Camila will cuss randomly but is such an angel and can recite her Bible School versus perfectly. :: Please don't judge she is 3 1/2 and learning:: My kids are human and our lives are real. We are not perfect and we do make mistakes and are learning everyday..but that doesn't mean that I will ever force my family to be something we are not. We do have faults and we also have hopes and faith. I do believe in creating respectful and responsible law abiding citizens in our home but I don't believe in being fake or being what others think we should be. So, my children are who they are... and every day that is acceptable to me. 

Thank you for teaching me everyday a new lesson in life, 

Momma of Dos 

::learning to be the light...:: #newworldson

It's hard to be in a space where you just don't feel right. Where you fit in like a square peg fits a round hole. But, then you learn... to "belong" to that place.

To exist in that place and know that regardless of what your true purpose is the present has a lot to say about who you are and where you will go. I know that you don't have a second chance for a first impression. But right now, I am learning to be the light in the place where I am currently.

People already have a perception of me and they think they know who I am. But, in reality when it comes to my daily 8 to 5 pm, I reveal very little here and it's the same there. At work they don't really know me. I don't really allow my guard to come down. I have been working there for almost a year yet I don't think they would understand. Is that selfish? Or wrong of me not to share because I feel they will not be able to appreciate who I am as an aspiring Writer/ Blogger and Social Media expert. It just doesn't got well....with the place I am in. 

I don't think God places you in the wrong place but maybe in a place where you just don't belong as a constant reminder to keep hope alive, to remain in  faith and to seek him further. It has happened every time for me. In the last 6 years or so my passion hasn't really met with my job but I have learned to love the positions I have held, embraced them and excelled within. To me, that's what it has been about otherwise I sit here miserable feeling stuck in an 8 to 5pm, that is never right. 

Instead I choose to bloom and explore in the place that I am currently planted in, not because I don't care to progress or find a better place for myself but because until that time comes.... I want to be happy, learn, grow and enjoy my time here. It isn't difficult. You simply learn that although at times irrelevant to your true purpose it's always a learning experience, that allows you to meet new people and grow in experiences and faith. 

What about you, where are you blooming today?

Borrón y Cuenta Nueva!

You know what my favorite part about life is? Our human ability to recreate it.

The ability to start over. Clear out the past and move on. I know that I have had many chances to start over and why not start over in my 30's. I turned 32 last month and you know what? It's time to start over. The beauty of 2nd, 3rd and 4th chances is they are all yours!



The other day I finally got my copy of Start by Jon Acuff and ironically enough I have not started but just the cover alone has inspired so many new feelings!

So, today. I start over. And, since I am a person of exact circumstances and timing, I will start my book when I feel it's right.

The energy is almost in that place where the ruts and blah-ness are gone and you just can't live in that cloud anymore. For me it was this week and more so today!

What about you? Today is Friday, July 19th, will you hit the START button and start over?

Developing Self-Worth {Time & Talents}

It is true that our lives go through many stages and seasons if you will. I know that for years, I went to school, I volunteered and did as much as I could in the Hispanic Community here in Houston. Then, I graduated from college, became a Wife and then a Momma and my life and priorities changed and shifted, in so many ways and in a new direction. 

Today, I have been unemployed for 7 months. I start to think about this journey of being a Stay at Home Momma coming to an end and new journey, a new beginning taking place and it makes me sad. A little bittersweet. I almost want to cry and cling to my house. But, then I think about my time and my talents. 

Since my son was born and almost since I started my Blogging journey in 2008 I have wanted to become a Stay at Home Momma. Then, last year in October after a very frightening series of events, life changing if  you will, I become one. Here I am 7 months later. A survivor after 7 months at home with not one but DOS toddlers. My hats off to all those Momma's at home with more than DOS. Because this Momma can not do it.

The lessons learned here in my home have been those of growth and perseverance and always one DAY at a time and most days, ONE minute at a time. The moods, the emotions were ever changing. The depression and feelings of help-less ness were overwhelming at times.  And, today. I live to tell you that if I can do it, you can too! It's easy. You clean and expect for it to get dirty, you wash and expect to wash again, you cook and expect to cook all day... but you know what... the time that I have spent with my children the last 7 months has been priceless. No matter what happens today or tomorrow, I will always have the 7 months that I tried the whole being a Stay at Home Momma situation. 

"The struggle you're in today, is developing the strength you need for tomorrow"

~Unknown 

I realized back in January that what I wanted for my children and for my life; and needed in order for my children to be successful and learn from example was to find a new job. Something new. Something different. A new journey. 

I am working on it. I feel close. And, then I thought. Why? Where? And, how will this new journey affect my time and use my talents. I pray every day that my purpose shines through in everything that I do and in everything that I have become. And, sometimes I think...I don't have to be out and about in this world to fulfill a purpose, as a Wife and Momma alone I am fulfilling a purpose. 

Yet, these days. I feel like I am being called to do more. Yes, I know that for financial reasons and because of student loan debt we need for me to become once more a Working Outside the Home Momma but still I think that this time this is really going to be easier because I am doing all those things needed to follow the direction for my life. 

Trust me, it took me a long time to get to this place of acceptance and willingness. But, I am here and I am ready. 

I know that we are NOT all made to be awesome Stay at Home Momma's. I never sought out to be that perfect Momma or the most crafty, the most teachable, the most organized, or the most whatever whatever.... I wanted to rest and be at home with my kids. If during that time I could learn to be organized, be crafty and use my time for things that I love like spending time with my children and blogging well then so be it. I am now ready for the next stage, the next level, the next anything that life wants to bring me. 

I will admit for a minute there I felt weak, and as if I had reached my max in this life! But, then I prayed and I changed my thoughts and my willingness to listen not just to my heart but to my surroundings. And, guess what. I am recharged. Inspired. Motivated and prepared. 

I also learned a thing or two about how I was manifesting those feelings. So, I have also changed my eating habits and my daily activity levels. {More on that later.... } 

The questions in my brain tonight: Have I been using my time and talents accordingly? How will I use them now? And, what kind of talents will shine though as a cause of this breakthrough? What about you? Are you living in a new stage and seeking a new challenge? 

{Thankful Thursdays} Link-Up!!

Have not done one of these in a while... definitely need to be reminded these days....




This week I am most thankful for:

{My Age} I will be 32 in June. That means I have lived through a lot with a lot of people who have come and gone. I am thankful for life, my life experiences and always making the best of every situation. I have in my 32 years gained wisdom, faith, and hopefully maturity. I know what I want and where my life is going. Sure nothing is set in stone and I don't have life figured out but I definitely know who I am and where I am going. 

{Sincerity} I have a lot of friends who have the best interest in mind and who are all living their lives on their own terms and following their own paths. I like to think that when it comes to our relationship they are being sincere. I am thankful for their sincerity and honesty. Be who you are and never allow popularity to overcome truth. It's what I have learned..... 

{Becoming a Stay@HomeMomma} My children will only be 3 { and 7 months} and 2 yrs old once. I will never be able to come back to this stage of their lives again, it's been so critical, our bonding, my patience being tested, and our lives being rocked to their very core. We have had to experience the best and worse of each other to know that, this is it, our little family of 4, we have each other and I pray that we will be here for one another for years, and years to come. My 6 months at home have made me thankful for my life, my children who are an amazing Blessing and for my Husband who has become an even more amazing Provider. It's been difficult. But, I am thankful. 

{Social Media/Networking} This has made me feel relevant. I usually shy away from joining big groups of super important and accomplished Bloggers/Writer/Activist/ Social Media Gurus because I am intimidated by their expertise. But, I have been so Blessed to have been added to some pretty awesome groups of  Bloggers/Writer/Activist/ Social Media Gurus not just from Texas but from all over the U.S. They have made me feel as if what I sit and enjoy doing is well worth it. I am thankful for those group of  Bloggers/Writer/Activist/ Social Media Gurus  who have made me feel as if I belong. It's so important as a Stay@HomeMomma to have a sense of self and community. Thank you everyone. 

What are you most thankful for this week??

{On Healing... }

Last week I read a devotional in my Bible and this is what I heard.... 

"Entering and accepting the pain, seeking direction through the pain and trusting that God has better plans in store....."

Lent is over but the lessons are still being learned...

God is good. I have faith. Things are shaky right now. But, I have faith..in restoration. In healing. In Love. I have faith.

God will heal and restore.

I have faith.

One day. No matter how long it takes. I pray.

{Enjoy Life} Living Abundantly....

Thursday night I had a great {life changing if you will} experience...while at a Pitbull concert! I know highly unlikely but true! It was amazing! The energy, the fun, the laughter and the joy! So, alive and one handsomely awesome bald man sang and danced his little heart out...and you know what... he looked like he was having so much fun and in return the crowd NEVER sat down. We danced! We sang and we ENJOYED life at that very moment!

Living life ABUNDANTLY! Isn't that what life is about? About doing things that make YOU happy and bring YOU joy...if while you are doing those things you can make others happy and bring joy to others or inspire and motivate them, then to me that is an added plus! Fulfilling your purpose and living to reach your goals is an awesome feeling and way of living. But, the moment you do things because others are doing it, or because you think you should and you DRAIN the joy and fun out of it..well then to me you have nothing!

That night I saw it all... my Husband says "everything happens to you when you go out alone..." but the truth is that when I go out alone I am not worried about my kids slipping out of my hand and running off, I am simply focused on the world around me.

That night, a Momma and Dad danced so silly with their two boys and took pictures of one another and recorded it because in a few years those boys will be at a similar concert with their friends and will no longer think it's cool to have their super awesome Dad and very beautiful Momma dance the night away with them.

That night, a Grandma and Grandpa drank it up and then shaked their booties like there was no tomorrow... because maybe there is no tomorrow.

That night, I saw a Cancer patient take her wool hat off because she was dancing so much and sweating. She became carefree about what she looks like to have fun and sweat and dance..because who cares how much hair you've lost to a horrible disease when the night is young and Pitbull is telling you..."TO GET ON THE DANCE FLOOR".

That night, I saw young and old, Hispanic and Non-Hispanic, men and women, probably from all walks of life, socio-economic status, and religions take advantage of the night for we may not have gotten a new day..

I am not saying live life so carefree with no responsibilities or without limits and restrictions, yes I get it people need rules..but really...LIFE in general is NOT that serious ..and when people drain the JOY, FUN and LIFE out of ordinary everyday things that should be great and fun, then what is the point. I wasn't taught to live life so serious... I was taught to do what you do for yourself and your own happiness but don't take yourself so serious that you lose YOU and you lose sight of your life plan.

God has given us all our purpose, our gifts and when we shine through our passion.... we are fulfilling that purpose and plan that we were born with... I think...

To me this applies to all my views... religious, political, and just life rules in general.. "it's not that serious"... I learned it from my Biology professor at HCC while I was in college, I got a "C" on a test and she said to me... "Honey. This will not make you, or break you. It is NOT that serious." I have taken that phrase with me through the last 15 years... IT IS NOT THAT SERIOUS.

Live LIFE ABUNDANTLY. Enjoy life. Be young, no matter how old you are...and don't take yourself or what you do...so serious.. that's not what LIFE is about!

Be happy. Do you. And have fun doing it!!!

John 10:10
English Standard Version (ESV)
¹⁰ The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.