On finding my Dream Career......

What I learned about myself and about being a Stay-@-HomeMomma....yes, I know it's only been about 3 months but trust me, I have learned my lessons well..

Right now. It's not the best thing for us..."you see the way my bank account is set up"...totally had to throw that in there...

First of all, the cleaning and laundry is NEVER ever, ever, ever done. Simple as that. It isn't. That's all. I mean before I had the excuse of; I worked 8{plus} hours today you expect this house to be spotless... now, I have uhm some excuses but really none. So, my theory is we should as Stay-@-HomeMomma's have like a Cleaning Fairy or something, one who comes in at night, cleans it all up and allows you to sleep 8{plus} hours and be all cute and dressed up during the day. No? Not happening? Yeah, I didn't think so. All, I have got to say is... if your home is spotless and you have 2 toddlers at home either you come to my house and help me out or you must not live with people who sleep standing up, don't produce waste, or who don't eat, wear clothes or play with toys. Just sayin'! {not a rant, just a Momma observation}

Secondly. YES,  My kids need me and my care and love. But, they have that regardless of me staying at home and as much as I count, say the ABCs and read to them....they need professional structure, instruction and learning tools.{I think.} Because, let's get this right, being a teacher; at home or in a school, is a gift. A talent that one is given with patience and a true passion for well, teaching. I for one, was NOT granted that kind of awesome gift, I barely made it through High School and College. Don't get me wrong, I am not dumb, I just don't feel qualified to be my children's teacher. Maybe later in life but for now, I would rather leave it up to the professionals. Who at my Son's daycare are AWESOME. I trust them and have faith that their daily instruction has done a lot for Santiago's daily structure and routine. Yes, it's a cost but it's worth it. Not to mention his speech and language have improved tremendously.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love. I adore. I live for my children. But, part of achieving my 2013 goals, personal and on many other levels is discovering what my true talents and gifts are. I love being at home and I think I do a good job but there are areas where I know that I would be of better help if I assisted rather than led. Simply said, being a Stay@HomeMomma is a gift that I have not fully developed yet. I know MANY awesome Stay@HomeMomma's but now I can honestly say..it's not totally for me.

The Dream Career..it's what I am after and seeking. It's what I am learning about myself and gaining confidence for each day. I believe that God has brought me here to this place not only to help me discover who I am but also where He thinks I would be of greater use for His purpose in my life. I am after it everyday from now on.

Now you may recall that I left my Full-time employment due to a full blown panic attack..well don't get me wrong, I am not easily taken, and I have done a lot as far as work goes, I just needed a break. I worked for over 4 years many jobs and through pregnancies and illness to help my Hubby get through school. It was my turn to relax for a bit and I have. And, now I will seek a job that will BETTER fit not only the financial needs of my family but one that has a better work to life balance and more suiting schedule for us. I know it's out there and it may take some time, but I know that God will lead me there in His timing. I trust and have faith in His love and His timing for my family.
 

Beliefs and Curanderas..... #maldeojo

{Disclaimer: Yes, I am Catholic. While I am Catholic I don't have a limited or closed minded view about religion, faith and seeking God in your own manner and beliefs. I would NEVER attempt to make others think, believe or pray the way I do. So, please be kind with your thoughts and words. I believe in Jesus, the Father and the Holy Spirit as well as the, the Virgin Mary & the Virgen de Guadalupe and all the Saints.}

I am not usually a "disclaimer" type of person. I am who I am, my faith is my own and I really don't believe in making others convert or thinking like me ever. We are all entitled to our own feelings, thoughts and beliefs.





With that said.

The other day I caught myself trying to "sweep" my son with an egg, you know how the Curanderas do or in my case my Momma does. My Son was not in the mood for anything and he had maybe the worse freak out moment while I was attempting to bathe him. I asked him if he was OK, I checked him to see if he was hurt and moments after the episode and without knowing what to think I started to pray with fervor over my son.

I usually pray with or over my children before bed or in the morning but this day, it was a different kind of prayer and I had no idea how or what but I felt like I needed to take action. Trust me it wasn't anything medical because I know my son and he was fine. Had I felt that he had to go to the Hospital I would have taken him. I am a fairly new Momma but I know my children well and I tend to trust my instincts pretty well.

I then thought of finding him an amuleto, in particular the ojo de venado bracelet to protect him from el mal de ojo and  evil spirits. Was I going over board or just being a Momma and thinking of everything I can do for my child? I don't know but he has not had an episode since and I have been lighting my candles and praying over my home every night. It brings me peace. As prayer usually does.

My Momma usually likes to bathe them and then pray over them with the egg...it gives her peace of mind... I don't mind it and as long as what we do is pray...I never see anything wrong with it. Am I weird? Maybe. Am I Mexican? For sure.

How about you? Your Momma or Abuelita ever try to do any special ritual for you or your kids?   

{On Letting Yourself Go...} #embracingwhoiam

First off...Luke Bryan... love.

Yesterday, I wrote about my constant battle with weight and my self-love and confidence.

These days, I stay home. I am usually in jeans, chanclas, or tennis shoes, a t-shirt.... hair pulled back..no make-up and a smile. I love my life. I love my children. I love my Husband. But, some days, I don't feel like dressing up and feeling fabulous BUT I realize the importance of it.

Que,que?

I know who I am and what I look like on a daily basis and I value the importance of self-image and looking good for yourself and for your Hubby. I have some pretty amazing women in my life and as I looked through my Facebook the other day I saw so many beautiful girls and thought...I can be as put together as them...I just have to make the time and the effort. It's important and I realize it now more than ever.

Being at home with kids all day can make me a very grumpy Momma like person. I don't want that for myself..or my family and especially not my children and Hubby. I love them too much so I should show myself some love and not just feel fit and healthy but LOOK fit and healthy.

Trust me it's a constant up and down feeling and it's not always easy for me.

I try.

I will continue to seek that place where I can just be me and be happy but I don't want to settle for anything less than my best. I loved this past weekend. I got to dress up and go out with my Hubby. I felt amazing. I felt great.

The song above just made me ask myself the question...DO I? And, I know I do, I just need to be more consistent with it all!

So many middle aged emotions tugging at my heart this week.... oh the woes of being 31... 32 in June! It's been a ride and I am ready to take it to the next level!

{Embracing Who I am} #weightbattle

Who am I?

I am a 31 year old Momma of Dos. 31. Not 21, not 18. 31. 





When I first met my Husband I was 18, a size 12 and had no children. I have always battled with my weight though. I have been a size 2 at my smallest when I was about 23 or 24....and I have been a size 18 at 9 months pregnant and 200lbs. These days I am at 175. Size 14 or so. My goal these days is NEVER to look, or be "hot". I want to be healthy and comfortable with myself and who I am not my weight or what society thinks I should look like. I want to be happy and feel good.

As a woman it's a difficult situation. The emotional baggage that comes with constant weight battle is deep. The fears and the disappointment take a toll mentally, emotionally, and physically. I give up constantly, the meltdowns and breakouts get real. Then I regain my confidence and strength to move on.

This weekend we had my Husband's Company Christmas Party. I am not scared to admit that there were women there who looked amazing and are probably really great people as well. But, my confidence runs low sometimes and without the constant reassurance that my Husband provides about not only my capability to be and about the way  I look I am not sure I would ever recover... but I have and I do.





I love who I am. But, I am human and insecurities in me do exist. Some days or nights I am not as confident about myself and who I am as I used to be when I was 21 or 18. It takes work. A lot of work. It takes confident boosters and kind words and patience from my Husband's part. It's takes a little prayer and constant brain fight on my part. I am NOT a super young girl anymore but that doesn't mean I don't want to be fit and sexy. It just means that the reasoning and motivation behind my weight lose should be, I think, driven by some pretty well thought out and reasonable motives.

So, today I am proclaiming that my motives to be fit, healthy and yes...sometimes sexy are:

So that I can run and not get tired of running around in the yard with my  kids.
So that I can be healthy and live a long life with my children and Hubby.
So that I can feel happy and comfortable in my own skin.
So that I can love who I am and embrace my body and figure as it is. 
So that I can try on a dress and not feel like I should choke the girl in the dressing room next me who keeps telling her mom how "big" the size 6 dress fits her! {Just sayin'...keepin' it real. Trust me I said a prayer and contained myself!}
So that I can embrace who I am and who I have become.
So that no one else can define what I "should" look like or WHO I should look like.

I am me. I will NEVER look like any other "young hottie", I will always look like me. A grown woman with two amazingly beautiful children and a great guy next to me who supports me no matter how crazy jealous wife {being totally real here} I get on him. I am beyond Blessed and who I am and how I feel should reflect that. Everyday.

{On getting Motivated & Inspired} ♥

When I worked in an office outside my home and had a desk to go to every morning; I had little sticky notes around my desk and computer that gave me constant reassurance, motivation and sometimes inspiration on what, how, when and where. At home I have a lot of different areas where my motivation is present but it seems that the place where I spend most my time is lacking it. My at home work station. Or this computer! Ha. Funny, huh?


So, I am working on building my space...not to be confused with "MySpace" does anyone use that anymore...I digress. My personal space and it's inspiration. I want to be happy and motivated while I write as well as inspired to create new items and work in peace on what makes me happy.....

My house is definitely a part of who I am, how I see life and where I want to go. Every room is and will be filled with the things that are unique to my family. The colors, the furniture, the pictures! Everything represents who my family has become and how much we have grown in the last 7 years since the Hubby and I got married!

I plan on building on it everyday and create a place where my family eats, sleeps, creates and dreams! For now here is some progress ::insert mini-house tour here:: Welcome to our home... I don't have a big fancy house with a lot of expensive things or furniture but everything I have put into this house comes from a special place in my heart to make it a home and from a lot of hand-me-down kind of people {especially my Hubby's Dad and my Momma}.

Tour of what makes my little life turn....

This is the space I am currently working to enhance. Ha.

Here is what that space looks like now...still working on a better desk!

 This is my living room:

 View from my hallway...

Glimpse into an unfinished room... my kids room.

Trust me there is  much work to be done in my house..one day we will finish it all..One day.

What makes you remain motivated? What are special places that you wish to enhance for added inspiration?

No. Really. Thanksgiving is next week!

No, REALLY. Thanksgiving is next week....

I am NO where.near.being.ready.for.a.holiday!

Seriously. I have no clue what I will make. I have NO decorations up...Not sure why but I am not too bummed about that.

We have a very BIG family. My Hubby's family lives minutes away from us, while my family lives about an hour or so away in Downtown Houston. Before we had kids there was never a discussion, we could go to one house and then the next.... then came the grand-kids. The "discussion" was, where will we go first...well last year I decided to end that discussion and have the first ever Gomez/Leon Family Thanksgiving here in our home. It was awesome we had a lot of fun, too much food and lots to be Thankful for...this will be the second year!

Only this year..I am not sure why but my focus and brain are elsewhere...I want my children to have this family sense of Thanksgiving and realize that we are thankful and should be thankful that we have two amazing families that  want to spend the Holiday's with us, together! But, I don't know why I am also thinking that less is more this year...in part because I don't have a full-time outside the home job right now,  for the first time in the last 6 years.....

I want my children to value being humble and poor in spirit as well as family and feasting. Tomorrow we will celebrate Thanksgiving with Santi at his school, our FIRST time ever and for some reason...I have a feeling that, that moment will count for many Thanksgiving to come...

The creation and Blessing of our own little family...Team Gomez ::party of FOUR:: has been more than enough for me and any added Blessings are well...just that....added Blessings. 

I don't want my children to think that Thanksgiving is only about the super yummy food you get to eat ::just sayin':: but also about being Thankful that we have the food... and that we are able to share our table with loved ones.

I pray that God can help me portray this and convey it in a manner that my children can understand not just this year but years to come....

We have SO much to be Thankful for this year... and I just hope everyone who has helped us get here to this place, realizes how much we appreciate them! And, yes...how very Thankful we are to have them in our lives.... {Ignore my funny smile face in the picture below... the day was super sunny!} Ha.

{On Following your dreams.....}

4 Weeks ago I quit my job, the same day I was notified that I would be sponsored to attend the LATISM conference, in the same week I was offered a pretty good full-time job which I declined. Crazy busy week?

Yes, kind of.

But, after attending the conference and meeting Lisa, Ruby, Ariana and many others, I learned that following your dreams NO matter what they may be is important. I am 31 years old. My kids are 3 years old and 18 months. If not now, when? When would I get another opportunity to purse and conquer... or what ever that saying is. Ha.

Probably never.

Now is the time. Do what you like. Take action. And, move forward! It's all I know.

Never give up and move on.

I believe and I have faith that a new future with brightness and happiness is out there for me... how long will take for me to achieve it? I don't know just yet. But, I do know I will not give up....

I will move on. For myself and for my children. They deserve a happy and available Momma. And, after meeting so many GREAT Momma's at the LATISM Conference I know that dreams come true and that dream jobs do exist! I want to get hired to my DREAM job. And, I will NOT give up!

No me dare por vencida.... nunca!

Find your motivation, find your inspiration, maintain relationships with people who push you forward and don't try to hold you back. Be motivated and inspired. Never lose sight of the happier picture and know that what you want and dream of....is out there! Search for it. Find it. It will come....

Proverbs 4:23

Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.

{Dia de Los Muertos} Culture Experience

When I was younger I remember building an altar around the tombs of our family members who were no longer with us. We would lay out picture of us with them and their favorite foods in their honor. Our belief was that on the Day of the Dead, their souls would come back to be amongst us and to enjoy our offerings. We would gather late at night and say a rosary in their remembrance, bring them flowers and celebrate their lives as we remembered them here on earth.

As a young child or teen I didn't think anything of it and wasn't even scared to participate in this late night stroll through the rundown cemeteries in Reynosa.  It wasn't just a tradition, it was part of our everyday. My Grandfather always says.... "no le tengas miedo a los muertos, te le mas miedo a los vivos...."

It's these small memories that make me who I am....it's these small memories that I want to pass on to my children... but like most people I am a visual person and I have a feeling my kids will be like that as well. Which is why I want to every year build on what they see and experience. If we can't go to Mexico then I want to bring Mexico to them. Huge? No, just some effort! I realize that the only way that our culture will not be lost in their generation is by making these small connections to big traditions.

This year I decided that we would start our Holiday's off by learning what a Dia de los Muertos altar was. So, I took my kids to see the beautiful exhibits over at Meca, here in Houston. It was small step for this Momma pero un paso mas hace nuestras tradiciones.

We had fun! See for yourself.....

{The Beautiful young lady in the picture was my lovely assistant for the day...her name is Erica and she is my Hubby's cousin. I love familia!}

#LATISM Conference {Parte Dos~Picture Explosion}

 "Una imagen vale por mil palabras..."

Enjoy! 

From I-Phone:

From my camera: