Being sensitive when it comes to blindness and other disabilities #BlindnessAwarenessMonth

First of all, let me just describe how a stranger may see Jassy from the outside looking in. They would see a beautiful and tall 11-year-old girl who doesn't exhibit the behaviors of what an "average" girl her age would be doing. Jassy does not make eye contact. She drools because she is a mouth breather, and has yet to master the concept of swallowing her spit. She loves to sing and make loud high pitched noises when she is happy. Jassy will also make angry noises when she is upset. This also includes fits of biting and pinching herself and others in reach. Of course those events happen randomly depending on where we are, and the noise level.

The initial thing everybody does is stare. They stare at the uncommon behaviors and try to figure out what is going on. You'd be surprised at some of the looks that we get. Keep in mind that body language is 90% of how we communicate with people. Some people will give us "angry" looks. Almost like why did we bring her out. As her parents, my husband and I have learned throughout the years how to brush those things off. Initially, however, it was very difficult to even bring ourselves to go out at all.

The best thing to do in a situation where you see a child that is blind or has other special needs is be kind. Try to be as empathetic as possible. (I can assure you that the parents have enough stress as it is.) That starts with your body language. You can look, but don't stare.

I understand a person's need to figure out the unknown. One of my favorite ways for people to approach us is when they say something like, "What a beautiful girl! How old is she?" Instead of sparking up a conversation based on what is different about her, I appreciate the regular questions that everyone else asks about any other kid. Anything along the lines of age, name, grade level, etc. That not only breaks the ice, but gives me a way to introduce Jasmine. Then, in my own way I can explain her differences.

Sensitivity for Jassy in particular, because she is blind, starts with people acknowledging her whenever they are around her. She can hear you, but most people tend to just ignore her. Loud noises bother her so it's awesome when there's music playing and someone goes and turns it down. That helps her to not get overstimulated. Descriptions of what is going on around her also help her to understand different situations. The more we can expose her to, the more she will learn.

I hope that I have in some way helped shed some light on the topic of sensitivity towards people with special needs. The situation for these families is already a difficult one. A road less traveled so to speak. My goal is to spread awareness and lift the stigma of the special needs community. The more we know, the better equipped we will be to handle different situations.

Houston Associations for the Visually Impaired: 

http://www.houstonlighthouse.org/

http://www.acbt-houston.org/

http://www.dars.state.tx.us/dbs/

Guest Post {October Awareness} #BlindnessAwarenessMonth

A few months ago I featured Cindy a local Momma of 3, her story inspired many. This month I invited her back. October is Blindness Awareness month and I felt that she could help us better understand how to help and bring awareness to this topic.

  

My name is Cynthia Rendon-Sanchez, but I'm known as Cindy to those closest to me. (My preferred name.) I am a 30-year-old stay-at-home mother of three beautiful children that crafts on her off time to make extra income. I'm married to my elementary school sweetheart, Jonathan, whom I met in the first grade. We've been together on and off since the fifth grade, and finally got married in 2006. We've been married almost 9 years this year. Our children are everything to us.

Jasmine, our eldest daughter, is an 11-year-old visually impaired beauty. She has congenital blindness which means that she has been blind since birth. Jassy has retinopathy of prematurity, where her retinas were malformed.

Our Jassy is not only blind, but she also has other disabilities. She has a speech disability, an intellectual disability, and needs helps with basic everyday tasks. Along with a sighted guide, which is person that helps her walk wherever she goes. Despite everything, Jasmine is one of our biggest blessings in life. She is one of my best friends. ️

October is known as blindness awareness month. On a daily basis, I try to spread awareness by means of social media mainly through my smartphone. Facebook is a great way to discuss and share information on the topic. On Facebook, I am a part of a special needs parent support group in the Cypress, Texas area. All special needs are discussed there along with tips and suggestions on any and all topics one may have. I also like to share on my own personal page which shows up on my friends' feeds as well.

As far as spreading awareness verbally, children tend to ask the most questions so I try to explain Jasmine's blindness and other disabilities in a way that they can comprehend. For example: "Jasmine can't see like you and I can. She needs help everyday just to get around. She is a sweet and smart girl but has a hard time expressing herself to people because she is still learning how to speak."

Adults are just as curious but try to avoid the topic all together since it is still very taboo to most. I actually prefer the questions versus the silence. It makes me feel like you're curious enough to at least want to know and understand what is going on.

Unless you have a child, a relative, or a friend with a visual impairment or any other disability, trying to understand the situation can be overwhelming. Most people fear what they don't know or understand. That's where I, as a proud parent, feel that it is my job to talk about the topic whenever possible. I am proud to be Jassy's mom. We all love her very much. She is our precious gift.

                                                           
                                                                              ️ Cindy ️

Cindy {Special Needs Momma} #InspiredSeries

Being a Momma is a lot of work. As you could imagine having to juggle a home, children and life itself is stressful. Some Momma's have an extra role, as care giver to a child with special needs. Today I introduce to you Cindy a 29-years-old Momma, who is married with 3 children; Jasmine (Jassy)-11, Jonathan Jr. (Johnny)-7 and Emma-5. Her family has a special kind of love, for a very beautiful and special little girl...one who is as her Momma would say "differently-able"! 

::Cindy and Jassy:: A Special Kind of Love.... 

My husband, Jonathan, and I have been married for 8 years going on 9, but have known each other since 1st grade! Another fun fact is that we started dating in the 5th grade. We had our first baby, Jassy, when we were both 18 and seniors in high school. :-)

Jasmine has ROP, retinopathy of prematurity. It is a condition where blood vessels grow abnormally behind the retina. The scientific name is retrolental fibroplasia. It happens to premature infants. I had Jassy at 36 weeks.

We learned about her being blind one week after her birth. We were told to see a specialist because they couldn't find the "red reflex" in her eyes that doctors look for when they check babies after birth. The specialist confirmed that our baby was born blind.

My initial reaction was shock and trauma to be honest. No one can prepare you for something like that. It was not something that they could have told us in an ultrasound so it was very unexpected. I say trauma because it is very life changing, and hard to understand while it's happening at first.

My life since having Jassy has been a learning process. The hardest time was definitely the first year. Jassy would cry all night and sleep during the day because her times would get switched so to speak. Because she can't see, she doesn't have the sun letting her body know that it's time to go to sleep. This still happens to her occasionally like when she gets sick. We've since figured out how to regulate it as best as we can. Anything else that comes our way we tend to just go with the flow. I have gained so much patience, and I owe it all to my girl. 

I handle each challenge differently because no two days are ever the same. Jassy also has a speech impairment, and a mental impairment. So communication is a huge issue. She tends to resort to self injurious behaviors that we call "fits". She will bite and pinch herself, and others when she's upset. That can happen randomly. Sometimes we know what sets her off, and sometimes we don't. I mean imagine not being able to communicate your wants and needs. I would be upset too! The fits and communication issues are the biggest challenges that we face daily. 

The biggest blessing of having a child with a disability is the child itself! She is my everything! I consider Jassy my best friend because we are almost always together when she's not at school. I love her so much, and the love that she gives is incomparable. I wouldn't be the mother and person I am today if it wasn't for her. 

Our younger two kids are lucky to have her as a sister too. They learn daily that everyone is different and beautiful in their own way. They love their sister very much, and Jassy loves them too! :-)

Routine is super important for Jassy. She gets up really early, and loves to eat a big breakfast. We can't skip any meals with her because then we'll see an increase in fits. (We try to avoid any triggers to the fits as much as possible.) She has to eat 4 times a day! lol Then, she goes to school. Her school routine is super important too. She has amazing teachers by the way! I trust them completely with her. After school she'll play with us, and then in her room. Finally, dinner then bedtime.

The biggest helps in my life are my husband and my parents. I don't know what I would do without either one of them. Jassy loves them all to pieces too! She has a special bond with each of them. We are truly blessed.

My motivation to keep going are my babies; All 3 of them. Knowing that they all need me helps me to keep on pushing when the times get tough, and believe me they do!

Finding time for myself is extremely important as well. I've always been very active in my life with sports and exercise. Just last year I became an active runner. The funny thing is that I never really liked to run growing up! Lol I try to run everyday if, and when I can. Running not only keeps me healthy and in shape, but it gives me the "me" time that I crave. It's almost like meditation or getting lost in your own thoughts while doing something positive. I recommend it to everyone! 

The advice I have for others going through something similar or just starting on this kind of journey is just be patient. It may all seem very daunting at first, but the blessings always outweigh any negatives that go on. Secondly, be strong even when you feel that you don't have the strength. You are your child's best advocate. You know your child the best. So whether that means speaking up to different doctors or voicing your opinion at their school, make your voice heard! Lastly, enjoy your baby. They truly are miracles! All though my daughter is seen as "different" in society, I see her for who she truly is, perfection. My job in life is not only to take care of her and give her the best life possible, but to also bring awareness to the special needs community. Most people fear the unknown because they don't understand. I try to help them understand as best as I can. 

One of my favorite things to do is get on my Facebook, and go to the special needs parents' community page for Cypress. All of it's members are wonderful parents that share their stories, and experiences about their beautiful kids. That includes the ups and downs. It is also a place to share different events around town that are special needs friendly. I love that page so much and I'm sure there are different ones depending on what area you live in. I definitely wish I would have found this page sooner!

Helpful organizations/resources in Houston are The Lighthouse for the Blind (Houston), DARS, SSI, and Medicaid to name a few. Nationally, I follow the National Federation of the Blind, and the American Foundation for the Blind all of which have websites. There are tons more though! Research is very important. 

I hope I was able to help anyone even if it was just a little! If you have any questions or comments please feel free to email me at CinD427@yahoo.com . 

And always remember, God is good and you were chosen for a reason!!

We love our Jassy girl!!!