Telling Your Story #Purpose

Yesterday I posted about Building Strategic Partnerships, today I wanted to share how to effectively tell your story to others. I have always known that I wanted others to know more about me.

If you can imagine that to be more possible.

But, it really is. Aside from everything I share here I do have almost 35 years of life in general, 16 years of 24/7 relationship/marriage experience and not to mention the 25/8 of almost 7 years of Momma experience. As well as 5 years of college experience and almost 18 years of work experience. Trust me, there is so much you don't know about me. But, no worries. I have no problem with sharing. And, after the painfully embarrassing YouTube videos I uploaded yesterday and am sharing here today, you will officially know so much more about me. Videos were recorded some time last month but I just now had the guts to upload them thanks to inspiration from an amazing Austin Latina Blogger, Anali of the Nueva Latina (More information about her at the end of this blog). But first....

:: Things to keep in mind when Telling your Story::

1) Know what your purpose is- Even after so many years of knowing who I am and really seeking my purpose. I don't think it's become clear until recently. I am a Momma with a mission and telling my story in a way that is appropriate and relevant is my purpose. I want my purpose to mean something, to empower and to motivate. Never to harm others or my family. So, if you are going to share your story keep in mind, your audience, who might be involved and is it truly serving a purpose. If so, share it. With confidence and move forward. Your story could mean a lot to someone who hears it and the only way to know is by sharing it.

2) Be conscious of what you are about to share- For me my personal story involves a lot of pain, a family history full of turmoil and just things that most might not be comfortable with me sharing. I am very tactful about how I share my story and how much of it is truly relevant. Some details are not always needed and I understand that. Like I said, I am also conscious of who is involved in my story and how it might affect their present lives by me sharing it. So, with that in mind, just think carefully about what you are going to share and how much of it you can share. Or obtain permission if your story involves others. It may or may not. Just be mindful. 

3) Be Truthful- This is extremely important. There are so many instances of people who have shared horrible pasts only to gain attention and in the end, their stories were not true. And, trust me the truth always comes back to haunt you. Be honest and truthful. Always keeping in mind number 2 of this list... what you are sharing, how much you are sharing and with who. No need to lie, people should love you and appreciate you for who you are. If you have to lie to them, well they are not meant to be in your life.

4) Be YOURSELF, be unique - I can't tell you enough how much you don't want to be like everyone else. I can't tell you enough how much you really should just do what YOU do. Is it risky? Good. Are others doing it? If not, then GOOD. Like in life, you can't create this fake persona online. Because, when you meet people in person. They will know. They WILL know. That you aren't the totally social and well put-together Momma with the awesome hair and flawless skin.

Cause uhm, duh. They can see you. 

If you are that person both on and off the screen, AWESOME, you are God-given. Me. I pray every day that I say the right thing and that the pimples on my face really aren't as big as they appear in the rear-view mirror! Like, really. I will tell you here cause when you see me, hot mess express. For sure. And, those two super cute kids are usually sassy and sometimes dirty faced and stinky from lounging on the couch all day. So be warned, we are real people.

And now....my videos... I created these as a submission vlog for a conference, I was not selected but still wanted Momma's to know my story. One is a short version and the other includes reference to past conference submissions.

This one has Camila in it. HA.

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More about Anali, because of her I was inspired to share my videos and tell my story!

Anali Martinez is a 20-Something Latina living in Austin, TX. She is from Del Rio, TX. She is a proud Mexican and loves to learn more about her heritage every day. She went to college at The University of Texas at Austin and earned her bachelor's degree in Civil Engineering. Her hobbies are blogging, live music, running, working out, Zumba, and hanging out with loved ones as much as she can. She is a Kate Spade lover and planner addict. You can visit her blog here: http://www.thenuevalatina.com/ and her new YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMPZgru0GDJrVEVbgZD7aOA

Permission Slip ::BAD DAY::

I had a bad day last week. 

You know that song, "you had a bad day". It played in my head all day.

It was raining in Houston but you know that little dark cloud that hovers only over your head and things just seem dark and treacherous. You know the violin playing in the background with the sad music. Yep that was me. The whole 9 yards.

The self-pity parties went on all day and feeling bad for myself was an understatement. 

A while back when I was feeling like this my good friend told me, "I am going to allow you to have a moment to feel sorry for yourself but you can't live or think like that!!!!" She is so right. We are all allowed to have A bad day. I keep reading it's not about the fall but how you recover. 

Let me put my day into perspective for you.

It was raining last week.

Pretty bad. 

As I put both my kids in their car-seats in my truck and then attempted to jump into the front seat as fast as I could, I slipped.

Almost straight out of my truck, the back rim of the door frame caught my fall I hurt myself and scared the heck out of my kids. I grabbed onto the door handle as it saved me from hitting the concrete floor from about 2 or 3 feet above the ground, my truck is high. I probably could have been injured worse.

My daughter cried as I ABANDONED her at daycare for the next 8 plus hours and even wet her self as I walked out the door. I was late for work and in pain. 

My Husband was running late from work that night, so in pain I had to go get my kids. I came home exhausted, blah-ed, and feeling depressed for this so called "life" that I lead. 

The bad day followed me all the way to bed, I didn't even workout. I felt fat, irrelevant and un-happy. 

I woke up the next day promising myself that yesterday, would never happen. Truth is, it will. All the time. No matter what I do or try to avoid. Situations happen. Bad days. HAPPEN. 

BUT, I can't allow ONE bad day to determine who I am, where I come from, or where I am yet to go. I promised 2014 would be about PEACE. And, I am determined to follow through. Bad days happen but they do NOT define. Me.

The day after that was better. The clouds outside even cleared a little, enough for me to appreciate the life that I have been granted and the many Blessings that I have been given in my almost 33 years. 

Never give up hope. Just when you think it's over. Life is just about to begin. 

{Did I mention my Beautiful Sister gave me one her awesome SNAP OUT OF IT YOU DUMMY pep-talks! She is so real and I appreciate her "GET OVER IT CONNIE!" text messages cause she keeps it real. Sometimes that's what we need. My good friend Cinthia also gave me a great little pep-talk and helped me realize what my goals are, and realistic perspectives about where I am!}

I am writing this as a reminder that bad days happen but I will not allow them to determine who I am! 

Peace is here...to stay.... 

::Momma Blues:: Dealing with Depression as a Mom

So, in the first two days after my c-section and delivery of Camila, I was overwhelmed to say the least. Everyone wants to meet the new baby, you can't say no, yet you feel horrible....physically I "seemed" to be healing and recovering quickly. When I was there I thought this is too good to be true...that I felt so good.

Sure enough. I left the hospital only 48 hours after giving birth to Camila. I felt "great", nothing compared to how I felt after my first c-section {LIKE A TRAIN HAD RUN ME OVER!}. I was also feeling a little neglected by the hospital. Seems once you have your baby nothing else matters. I asked to go home. Everyone agreed. I was given TWO different pain medications and ushered out the front door of the hospital as if life couldn't get any better. Well it does....but only AFTER you feel better from being torn open and a child taken from within you.  It's no joke. As I have figured out the hard way.

The next two days were not only an emotionally and spiritually draining experience, but also awareness of true physical healing. I was home. The pain medications had worn out and my body was beginning to feel the repercussions of not being able to naturally birth my children. I had, "un-naturally" given birth and now my body, mind, heart and soul were paying for it.

To top it all off I felt; inadequate and frustrated as the Mom of my 18 month old. Sad about his tears the next morning as he tried to climb my belly and I couldn't help but yell..."NO!" The devastation in his tears and the fear in his little man cry, tore me not only further down but completely apart. How, how could I be going through this. For the next 5 days my pain would only grow as my son had to be taken to his Grandmothers to be taken care of. As I stayed home with my newborn Camila. His eyes looking at me like "WHY?". His little face filled with sadness and disappointment! Here his mommy was at home...finally....and he had to be taken away. As soon as the door closed behind him, tears and pain poured out of my face and heart. I hated EVERY moment of feeling so tired and in pain, helpless and hopeless.  Failure. I was a total failure as a Mom, a wife, a human, a person who couldn't shake it off.

Unfair? To my son? To my body? To myself? I didn't know. After that torture, I finally decided to start up the at home pain medication. You know the one  that turns you into a zombie and only gives you the illusion of feeling better. Yes that one. Well, then new pain. A bladder infection like now other. Fevers of 103.5 and pain in my kidney. 3 days of that, more tears, lots more prayers and then "a good week". I finally got the strength to stay home with my children, both of them and move forward. But, then another set back. I am now dealing with an infection to my surgery site and cold like symptoms; sore throat, running nose and cough. Just can't get a break.

But, I know soon things will get back to normal.

My children are doing great. They are both at home with me, healthy and helping me heal.

Before I went on my Blog-cation I stated that I would go into "research" mode, which I have not done really since college.

And, I think the best subject to address is ; Depression.

{Which I would like to think is one of the top New Mommy or Mommy to be questions.}

I've always believed in it and it's many levels. There is a history of depression amongst the women in my family. With that said, for years, I've learned to manage it and combat it. But, when I was pregnant with my son. I was VERY depressed. Never diagnosed because I was too embarrassed to tell my doctor, I am not sure how severe it was but comparing it to my current mood, I would say it was pretty severe. 

I never wanted to harm myself or my unborn child but I often wondered if I would ever be a good parent, if I would ever be "sexy" to my husband again, or why I was just so sad and couldn't be happy! I wondered if I would ever be happy again. 

I simply couldn't shake it. 

It was bigger than me.

Even prayers and relating to my very pregnant friends didn't work. I felt alone and as if I couldn't relate to anyone. Everyone else had seemingly normal and uneventful pregnancies. Me, I felt like, I had the worse of the worse. Everyday was a "woe me" day.

Thankfully the "blues" went away when my son was born. I had purpose and a reason to be happy. 

As I stated before, when I was pregnant with my son, I had no life! All I did was read and think and think and read. 

These days things are a lot more complicated and although my first days home after having Camila were VERY difficult, emotionally and spiritually, most are very optimistic. For years now I have sincerely given all my troubles; Family, Finances and Marriage to God. I truly believe that with Him all things are possible. 

My husband was laid off a week before my son was born (17 months ago) and is now attempting to complete his college education on a intern salary..which trust me is not much. You would think that with all the responsibility of 2 extra little people in our lives and just barely making it day in and day out that we would be overwhelmed and saddened by our situation, but we are not. 

What gets me most these days is the undying desire to be a "Stay-at-Home Mom". I know that right now, and maybe not for a while longer, it's not at all an option. I believe in miracles and I have Faith, I know that it will be God's will and not mine which will be done. I stay close to that thought. 

While I was pregnant I had several "episodes" if you will and of course my fragile and then very pregnant body would react to it. When I emerged I realized it was more about natural depression then anything else. So, I looked up depression during pregnancy. I have always heard about postpartum depression but rarely about depression while pregnant. I found it interesting that 1 in 10 women feel depressed during pregnancy {According to March of Dimes research it's 1 in 5, which just makes me think that it's worse than I thought}. And, when I commented my feelings to a friend who is also pregnant, she stated that she too felt down at times. I think women don't understand how harmful this can be to you and your baby. 

 {Reminder; I am NOT an expert by any means. Simply a concerned Mom} 

CLICK HERE to read the whole article. 

Here are some of the symptoms:

* A sense that nothing feels enjoyable or fun anymore

* Feeling blue, sad, or "empty" for most of the day, every day

* It's harder to concentrate

* Extreme irritability or agitation or excessive crying

* Trouble sleeping or sleeping all the time

* Extreme or never-ending fatigue

* A desire to eat all the time or not wanting to eat at all

* Inappropriate guilt or feelings of worthlessness or hopelessness

I then went on to seek some solutions a site gave the following: 

• Support groups
• Private psychotherapy
• Medication
• Light therapy

They seemed a bit vague for someone like me who likes straight forward answers. I don't believe in medication unless your case is extreme. I do think you should tell someone. Anyone. And, as for "light therapy", I think in my case, I created my own. 

While I was pregnant with my son, I really took care of my diet and more importantly my FAITH. It also helped to have a husband who is very persistent and asks a lot of questions. He would often call me after work to meet him for a walk in the park near our home. That always helped. In all, I remained focused on other things aside from my depression.

When I was pregnant with my daughter I had no time to really be depressed. And, aside from the first week at home I have felt pretty good. 

These days I deal with depression by allowing my son {and now daughter} to be in my face reminding me that I can't be sad or feeling down because if I am who will feed them, play with them, bathe them, watch over them, etc etc etc. I also talk more to other women about how I feel. Of course above all every day I start off by talking to God, asking for strength and energy to get through my days. I plan my days and remain focused. Focused on me and my situation. I also have hobbies, I like to think. Ha. I write and read when I can. I plan to start up my Mommy yoga as soon as the doctor allows me. 

I found the following report with some of the same ideas as mine, scroll to the end to read the alternate treatments.

In all, I hope this helps someone. Even if you are not pregnant. Depression is real and you should seek out help.

Even if it's just a friend who can listen.  

These days life is much easier, a little more balanced but there is always room for more improvement, which I am constantly working on. Every day. In many aspects of my life.