::8 Years and Counting:: A Marriage Reflection

For many of you who know us, you should know that Ricardo and I have grown-up together. We were teens when we met. 15 years later and after 8 years of marriage, 2 toddlers, and a lots of good and bad we are still here. Together. In love. In our own way. My Hubby is not your typical romantic who remembers the small things the way I do. For a long time, I really disliked him for it. But, then I slowly began to realize who he is...

He is above all a thoughtful and determined provider for his family, organized and mindful of what we can and cannot afford.

He is a happy father who LOVES his children unconditionally.

He loves me and cares for me.

He tries every day to be better person.

He brings me flowers when I am mad. It counts. A lot.

He accepts me and my crazy ideas but he doesn't always agree with me.

He is my Husband, a Father, a Brother, a Son, a Brother-in-Law and a Son-in-Law as well as a friend to many.

He is an intelligent man with his own plan, trying to focus on his goals.

His laugh is contagious.

He is the love of my life. My one and only. My always and forever. NO matter how much we argue and say things...we are still together. Making it through the struggles of everyday.

Marriage is not easy. Living with another person for years and years is not easy. It's work. Everyday a new day. Everyday a new challenge. We work at our marriage, some days are good, some are bad and others are great. On the worse days we give each other space, we hear each other out but we never run away.

Marriage has been a blessing, a life changing experience and a life time commitment. I don't plan on giving up and I am sure and blessed that he will not give up either.

People will see us and judge us, as individuals for what we are not or what we don't do, or what we lack or what they think we are. But, in the end Him and I know each other, what we have been through and where we are going. Nothing else matters. Ever.

The goal is to make it and make it good. Our vision are two children. They will see us, they will follow us, they will know what and who we are, they are watching us and for them, we will do our best to be great. For them, for us and for each other as individuals.

I say it all the time. Our lives are not perfect, nor do we claim it or pretend to be that way. Our lives are together and together we make it work. Some days we are happy, others we are sad and some days we are very, very mad but always together.

We try every day to make the best of what we have. We don’t have it all. We might not have the best but we have love…every day.

Ricardo, I love you. I don’t tell you enough how much I appreciate you and admire you, for your strength, your courage and your determination. I love you…..until death do us part. Happy 8th year wedding anniversary, and happy 15 year anniversary of being together.

{El Dia de la Virgen de Guadalupe} #tradiciones

As the years begin to pass and celebrations come about I am thinking that November/December will be one of our favorite seasons! There is so much to do, so many traditions to hold near and just so much love and hope in the air.

One thing that I know for sure is that as the time passes and the kids get older I have come to realize that what I want most for this holiday season is to make it a memorable one for OUR little family of 4! As selfish as that may sound, I want my kids to know that when times were tough and situations came about what mattered most was US; my Hubby, my Cami, my Santi and myself.

Because when the kids think back and look at our memories together I don't ever want them to say; my parents threw huge fancy Christmas parties with all their friends and family....I want them to say... that we had a humble, happy, loving, gathering with Jesus in our home; even if it was just us and our faith and love for another. It's what my little heart is yearning. For my children to know that the reason for the Holiday's is because Jesus was born and our lives were saved. Because, we are Mexican we have HUGE celebrations when it comes to Birthday's and other life events, but when I grew up, the Holiday's were about prayer, coming closer to the One who was born to be our Saviour. We did this through celebrations like; las fiestas y misa del Dia de La Virgen de Guadalupe, las Posadas, la Noche Buena, y Navidad. I don't remember HUGE fancy parties. I remember prayer, family and awesome food...las bolsitas, los tamales, las piñatas! These are my favorite memories growing up. Playing with my cousins on cold winter nights after almost 2 hours of prayer...my Grandmother was intense! Ha. And, a lot of love and faith being planted in our hearts.

Which is why, when it comes to traditions and celebrations I try to make them count and make them memorable. Every year more and more!

{SantiDay} ♥ Monster Jam 2012

This past weekend we decided that we needed to start dedicating one day, an entire day, to our little man. It’s a difficult task being an older brother; what with all the extra mess making and tantrum throwing to assure as much attention as his chunky, big round browned eyed Lil’Nena {aka Baby Sister Cami}. We try not to make a difference between them and give them the same amount of attention but that little Sister of his is such a ham and she knows it.


We love them both the same but we just wanted to remind Santi how special he is and how much we love him. We decided to take him to this year’s Monster Jam {for you more experience Momma’s, you don’t have to wait to say “I told you so…” cause now I know} we bought our tickets early and made it a point to remind him that it would be his special day.

He loved it for about oh, a whole 10 minutes {an hour really, we were surprised he lasted that long} but we made it through the first half and by the second half… we were walking out the doors and down those ramps at Reliant Stadium….it was so worth it though, we had so much fun and so did he! Next SantiDay will have to be more age appropriate! HA. We learned a very expensive lesson today; 2 year old's don’t need expensive days out just days with lots of attention and love! He just loved being the center of attention and didn’t care where we were… he loved the Monster trucks and was only scared for a bit…

Here is our first ever {SantiDay} at Monster Jam 2012:

{Marriage} ♥

I figure June was about Me {and turning the B-I-G 30!}. August will be about my Husband. {Not only is our 5 year Anniversary this month, but so is his 32nd Birthday! {Yes, I know he is OLD! HA. I joke.}

I know that no relationship is perfect....

But, what makes a relationship work?

Not only are relationships not perfect but neither are people ::insert horribly fake surprised face here:: {HA.}

I know this...trust me..I know. 

What I have learned in my  FIVE years of Marriage {and 12 years on this journey with my Husband}is this:

Communication is Key, but Silence is truly is Golden {How do they say...know when to pick your fights...oh.boy. is this true.}

You must be sincere. No room for being selfish. Life is no longer about you. {It's about TWO!}

It's about TWO {becoming ONE}. IT'S ABOUT TWO. {In Marriage NO MATTER what; you leave everyone EVERYONE else behind and become TWO. NO ifs, ands or buts about it. No joke.}

Truth. It ALWAYS comes out. If you lie. You are only, ONLY lying to yourself. There should be NO hiding. 

When it comes time to face a problem. You face it. There is no where to run...{other than to God}

You have to be consistent. In what you DO {actions speak louder than words}, in what you say, and in what you expect.

You can't change HIM. He can't change YOU. You are who are. You are with one another. You've accepted that. 

You must be persistent. In your Love and in your FAITH.

With Truth comes Transparency. You have to humble yourself and be trustworthy....

Respectful. Above all. In this day and age Social Networks consume our everyday.... You show respect to yourself and to your spouse at ALL times, no matter what.... or it could come back to haunt you.

Use kind words. Once more. Respectful towards one another. Especially in front of others...

You work TOGETHER towards a common GOAL. We can't each have a separate agenda. {And, our agenda was set forth 12 YEARS AGO. From the beginning we knew that this point that we are at now is where we wanted to be...TOGETHER.}

Together-ness. In ALL that we do! We don't have different schedules. We don't have TWO different families. We have each others backs and we MOVE FORWARD TOGETHER. {Now with children we realize we have to stay strong as a unit, so that our children have a consistent and persistent upbringing. We realize that we will accomplish more UNITED rather than divided!}

Above all we are friends. We talk. We laugh. We live. We share. We dream. We plan. We worship. We praise. We pray. We sing. We fall in love. We have fun. We love on another. We support one another. We are here for one another. There is NO one, no girlfriend, no Mom, no Sister, no Dad, no friend, no co-worker, no Brother, no classmate, no acquaintance that we ever place before God or before each other. He is all I have, and I am he has...that's how we have made it work! 

We have found that GOD has really brought us here. We Love Him and follow HIM, no matter what path he leads us down...because in the end we KNOW that we are NOT ALONE. Never. Ever.

We have FAITH. We have HOPE. Above all we have LOVE.

{Trust me we are NOT perfect....ever.....}

We work at our marriage EVERYDAY. Every hour, every minute, every second.... We WORK TOGETHER at it!!! Just like anything else in life...it's a true WORK IN PROGRESS!!!!

Our want{Love}, need {FAMILY} and ability {GOD} to work at our relationship is what has kept us together for 12 years....

[ I am sure there are many OTHER lessons I have learned....it's been 12 years...there have been many...these are the ones that I can remember right, right now.... ]

A Vast Sea of Emotions?

One thing that I am is EMOTION. I feel. I feel a lot. In a most sincere and loving way.

That said...

This weekend I was ill. Very ill. So ill. By Saturday morning I was sitting in the ER with a nurse and doctor at my side. I needed pain medication. Pain medication so strong that the doctor's first question was, "Is there any possibility you could be pregnant?" My answer left the nurse in limbo and a pregnancy test was in order.

For an hour. A whole 60 minutes. My Husband's heart.... and mine, swam, in a VAST sea of emotions.

We know that we want to have ONE more child. But, we also know that Santi and Cami came so quickly that we now want to enjoy each, individually for at least 2 or 3 more years. Therefore we sat there; worried wondering and praying. We are not ready for a 3rd child but Dear Lord, let be it be your will not mine, I repeated in my head. Ricardo started thinking finances and school and calculating when the baby would be born {breath everyone...breath}; to which I told him, calm down, there is no YES, just yet! 

An hour had passed and my pain increased. I needed a confirmation and some medication. Ricardo was just anxious to hear an answer. At this time, an x-ray technician came into the room to take me away to x-rays, Ricardo asked so the pregnancy test was negative? The tech said. "Oh they haven't told you?"...."Yes..it was negative." After we both started breathing again...my pain medication was administered and I was taken to x-rays. I am better now.

But, for that brief moment ....we had no idea what God would do with us. It just places A LOT into perspective! A Blessed moment? I think so.

SO, How was your weekend?! {Ha.}

As you can tell, mine did NOT go according to plan... {Ha.} The is no Vlog today.... {Ugh.}

What is it about Monday's that makes you want to sink your face deeper into your pillow and say...UGH...MONDAY! As opposed to jumping out of bed and saying...YEAYUH!!! MONDAY! {Ha.Ha.} 

Terrible TWO's? Sure. Why not?

It doesn't matter how many times you drive me insane. Or how fast I have to run to catch up with you. Or how many fits you throw. Or even how many times I wish I could fall into a hole while you yell. 

None of that matters. 

I will always {always} cherish this time. These moments. 

Of dancing with you, while I carry you in my arms. Of hearing your amazing laugh in my ear. Of seeing your beautiful smile filled with little white teeth. Those mischievous eyes that say "ready or not..here I come!" The smell of those amazingly stinky little toes. The life within you. The joy in your heart. Your unconditional love. Hearing the word "Ma-Ma" over and over {and over} again...while you stretch your arms out for me to hold you. The moments when we sit and watch a movie and you fall asleep in the warmth of my arms. Those amazing hugs and kisses that only you can give.

It is in these moments {and many others} that I feel more than Blessed to be your Momma. 

Know that no matter how many times I lose it or how many times I get after you...Nothing...No-one can take away the Love, the Joy, and the Happiness in my heart....today or ever. 

I love you Son more than words will ever express. Te Amo.

In 2 months you will be TWO.  

They say that's when the real fun begins....and you know what..I CAN'T WAIT! 

My Heart. My All. You make me smile even when I don't have the strength to.