::Writing the Next Chapter in Life::

Sunset, Destin, Florida 2017 

Not every story begins with a once upon a time or ends with a happily ever after... at least not in the way one might think. We all create the lives we want, based on the choices we make, our societal perceptions and truly the deck that life throws at you. I can't be upset about what someone else has that might be better than my situation, or circumstance. We all work hard to get to where we are, and if we don't put the work in and strive for better then, we remain. And, sometimes people are okay with this. 

Growing up I knew that going to college, getting married, having a career and kids was the "right" way of doing things. Even though no one else in my family had really followed this path, I did it all in this exact order. Along the way, life has thrown SO many obstacles at us, as life would, but we worked hard and created the life we wanted and deserved. But, then again, we don't always control certain circumstances or life's events and things can change suddenly and drastically. 

For years I've sought to figure out who I am. What I want and where I am going with this whole passion for writing and inspiring working moms deal. I've had my share of nay-sayers, people who didn't believe in me or what I was trying to achieve. For what, for who and why? In part because they didn't understand it, and honestly for a long time, I didn't either. 

I've never given up though. 

I've continued to build and grow my community of women, my tribe of Momma bosses, not truly knowing where I wanted to go with it. Do I know now? Probably not as clear as I would like. What I do know is that now my journey has created a new path. One where even though I might be judged and looked at like I've made the biggest mistake of my life, I can tell you that I've made the best choice for me. It's been a period of true transition for us here at Momma of Dos for a little over 9 months now. By us, I mean my children, myself and their dad. We now live in separate households and have created different routines and are continuously trying to establish a new normal for us all. A lot harder than one might imagine. All of this is new to us; the transition, the two homes, the arrangements and details of it all.  Lots of sadness, confusion, pain and hurt. 

But, I am not giving up now..... 

This blog has chronicled MANY, many years of our lives together. Now, our lives are being lived on two separate paths. It's not been easy and there is so much more I will share as I can. I appreciate the love, support, and respect of those on my social media outlets, in our immediate circle, in our families and our friends.  For obvious reasons, I have not been able to share, nor did I feel I had to, what was going on as openly as most would have liked but I feel we are getting to a place where I can be a little more open about it all. 

Things are still a little difficult and details are still falling into place but we are all moving forward and trying to make sense of a hard situation. 

Please note, I do not share this as a victim. I share this from a place where I have made decisions for myself that I felt were best for me moving forward.  I could sit and share all the negative and bad of the last few months, but that's not my plan at all for this space.  

::No Light at End of the Tunnel::

This post came to me the other night as I did chores and tried to summon the strength to get them all done. Hope it helps in whatever stage of childhood you are in.

------

In those moments right before you are about to lose your shit. You think. This too shall pass, right!?

As I wipe pee off my toilet seat and floor for what seems like the millionth time today and I pick playdoh pieces off my bare feet. The exhaustion kicks in but the determination lingers. Determined to tame these wild children of mine; their giggles and Christian music play {yes this potty-mouth family listens to Christian music} in the background. My nerves ease and my frustration gone. I am living in these moments  of  chaos and messiness. You know those moments all too well? The "half" moments; of things making it halfway to the toy bin, halfway to their room, halfway to the trash and of course halfway in the toilet. Hence, the pee wiping.  

And, still no matter what they are happy, those two little ones that put up with my extra loud voice and sometimes witness the tears. Their love is endless y'all. And, in that moment, I see a light at the end of the tunnel that wasn't there before. And, I have peace. I have love and joy. Always. Deep in my heart no matter what the sorrows are or what obstacles we meet, they bring me true joy and peace. No matter how many times I have to wipe the pee off the toilet seat or how much playdoh sticks to the floor. I am living in these moments that will never come back. And, the frustration is gone. 

Then hope kicks in, hope that your kids will grow up to be appreciative, hard working and loving. The hope that they will be a better person than you and achieve far more than you. The hope that they will not fear or suffer the things you did. Faith. Faith that they will have happy fulfilled lives with the best blessings that they surely deserve. That in 20 years they will remember all the moments you lived together. Moments of joy, sacrifice, and peace.

As Momma's we all live in these moments, whether we publicize it or not, we are all in that same boat of days when you don't see a light at the end of the tunnel and could decide that you can't anymore. But, somehow with short rests and time, strength is renewed, and we do it all over again the next day. 

Momma, you are strong, you CAN do this. Wipe that pee off the floor and move forward... because I promise you, this too shall pass. You can either sit and cry over the moments of frustration, which sometimes are needed, or you can learn to embrace it all and love every moment you are living in. It's not always easy and it is VERY much easier said than done, but if this unorganized working Momma of Dos can do it, you can too!  

Just a little piece of my heart on this Tuesday morning.... 

::Top 11 Things we have learned from Kid Sports::

Like with everything that has to do with our family, we knew we wanted our kids to play sports but we didn't know what to expect. We didn't know how involved we would actually become. How competitive our kids would be, even though my Husband and I are pretty competitive. And, we both agree winning isn't everything but we want to teach our kids that they can win and should win!  With that said two years ago, we started Santiago in Soccer, we become so involved that last year both the kids played and we became the soccer parents. Ricardo coached and I helped him with the organizing. 

This year we decided to try baseball. We have so far learned that baseball is no joke. The recruitment of the kids is pretty intense for 6 & 7-year-olds. Santiago was literally drafted onto a team and practice is now 3 times a week. And, even when it rains we have discovered practice still happens. Which we understand discipline and not making excuses is a big part of life itself. Which then led me to think, what have I learned the last few years as the kids have been in sports. I have compiled a list for you today. One that I wrote and one that my Hubby sent me. 

I said: 

::Sportsmanship::
The kids have learned more about teamwork, about how winning isn't everything and that hard work does pay off. They have learned to lose, although its not always a graceful process and some tears are endured. This is always hard as a parent. But, you can't win at everything and I know Camila and Santiago are both learning this. Slowly but surely. They both still hate losing, like duh, who doesn't! Only as a child, it's more "acceptable" for them to freely express it. They still at the end of every soccer game congratulated the winners no matter what! As a parent, we got into the game more than the kids did. So we also had to learn to control the emotions. A little. 

::Prioritizing::
The kids have learned that we need to create priorities, do they want to lounge around on the couch or go play with their teammates. Sure, these are pretty fickle priorities but making their sport their number one priority helps keep them focused on what needs to be done. They know that some nights going to practice was a little more important than staying home. As a parent, the lesson of adult time vs spending time on the fields becomes very clear. Family and sports, in this case, come first. 

::Schedules::

It creates formal schedules that we have to keep up with and adhere to. The kids learn what days their practice and games are on. They would prepare themselves from the moment they woke up to go to school. They knew they had things scheduled and it helped them learn days and times. As a parent, it helps keep you organized by having to keep up with practice and game days. Teaches all of us the importance of keeping a good schedule. School, practice, dinnertime, bath time, & bedtime. We keep some pretty good schedules once the season kicks off. Baseball has been far more time consuming but we should be good! 

::Meeting new Kids::

While our kids have daily friends that they make at school and daycare, I like the fact that they step outside their social circle and comfort zone. In life, they will have to learn that their circle should be much larger than their everyday interactions. These interactions help them be less shy, more interactive wth kids they wouldn't usually meet and open to relationships with children from all walks of life. Much like in the grown-up world. Your circle of "friends" shouldn't always be the same five people you went to high school with, the world is SO much bigger than that. I want my kids to know this and be aware. 

::Meeting new parents::

In the same sense, I am used to talking to the same group of friends, or co-workers. Playing sports helps us build a new support system and a new circle of parent friends. Sports parents have the same commitments as you and the same dedication. Which might make them different from your everyday circle. As sports parents, we share a common interest and goal. The mindset is a little more focused and it helps keep you accountable. Some sports parents are either new like you and you can both learn as you go or they might be seasoned parents and can teach you the in's and out's of the game. Both are great to have!

Now my Husband's list.... 



He said:

::Builds Character, Discipline, and Confidence:: 

Agreed it really does, especially an already confident child who needs that extra boost. Or a somewhat shy child, who needs exposure to public events, speaking and exhibit. My kids are very good at showing off at home and being silly but we don't want them to be scared or shy in public. So, sports are helping with all this. 

::Good exercise and keeps them Active:: 

Very true and important. If my little couch potatoes are not pushed to do something outside they are quite content with being indoors and lounging. As parents we must show them that staying active is good and healthy for you. Plus being indoors with two toddlers all the time is nuts. They need the energy outlet. We don't' mind it. It helps us remain active as well. 

::Quality time and fun for the Family:: 

Our weeks become so busy with work and other adulting that we can forget about creating that quality time and bond with our little families. It's so necessary. Sports have helped remind us how important this is and how much we need it. 

::Keeps them competitive::

Again this is something that my Husband and I both agree on. While winning isn't always everything, reminding our children that they can win, that they should strive for their best and that they can be competitive is good for them! Life is tough and teaching your kids to rise to the occasion is always good. 

::Gets this Momma good picture for her blog:: This is true. A lot of my content comes from my children and the activities that we do. Sports are one of those "perks" to my blog that helps me gain valuable material to write about. I love it. 

:: Entertaining:: Because of their age and the fact that they are learning the sport, it's hilarious to watch and very entertaining as parent spectators. As parents, it can be a little frustrating because you want them to do well but once you see them in action you learn to relax and simply enjoy it all! 

::Be Free::

Don’t you wish you were a kid again? 

Just the other day my sweet friend Kristy from @sevengraces posted a picture of her daughter, having fun on a hot Houston weekday afternoon. I told her; "Don’t you wish you were a kid again?"  I mean they have SO much fun. I often question; did I have this much fun when I was a kid? I need to ask my Momma about this.

But, my Husband says it after almost every weekend about our kids- “Connie, these kids had a BLAST this weekend!" Truth is my kids have a blast every weekend. No matter what. No matter where. No matter how little or much we do. They always have a blast! Some weekends will end and my son will say, "Mom, I had so much fun."

And, it makes me happy.

Isn’t that the point of being a kid? To have fun and enjoy life. As a parent I feel responsible for nourishing this sense of excitement and adventure. Making them happy and knowing that they are being kids. Knowing that you can help preserve their childhood, their innocence, create amazing memories and be the reason why they can simply be happy little beings.

::Here are 3 simple ways you can allow your children to be kids and simply have fun::

::Allow their imagination to Run Wild:: 

Some days our kids have the craziest ideas. We try never to shoot them down or make fun. We listen. We might giggle or laugh; but we encourage them to keep telling us about their play-time, thoughts, ideas and crazy plans. They consistently come to us with their thoughts because they trust us, and let me tell you some are VERY serious thoughts.

In all we love to help them grow their imagination and allow them to be themselves.

::Let them be themselves::

When you see me post about my kids or pictures of them, know that these are RARELY posed and never something that I make up. If you know my children you will know that all that is portrayed in pictures, tantrums and all, are very REAL. We allow them to be themselves. We embrace them good or bad and we know that in the future it will all be good for them and their adaptation to the world around them.

Their personalities and character shine bright.  They are who they are. Take it or leave it. 

::Let them be FREE:: 

I am a parent who needs to know where my child is, what they are doing, who they are with. Trust me, daycare was a daily struggle. Going out in public is scary for me. But, at the same time I want to give my children the freedom to explore and learn. To be free in their environment and know that they can do anything. I don’t’ want them to be scared of the world around us. I want them to be safe but be aware. And, while I allow them to explore freely, I also maintain a close watch on their every move. This won’t always be possible and I have to trust a little and let go.

But, for now they are free to move about….

What are some of your favorite childhood memories and how do you let your children be free? 

::Queridos Hijos:: #LessonsLearned

::Dear Children:: 

If you’re a Momma or are around children then you know that moment in the movie “The Croods” were Grug decides to throw his family over the cliff into the light knowing that he would disappear into the darkness. It’s an intense moment; as a parent making life changing and difficult decisions that may or may not ultimately benefit your family as a whole, is a challenge.

It’s what we do though and sometimes we have to make these difficult decisions even if our family members don’t understand why. In the end we know they are necessary for us to move forward to evolve and grow! As a Momma I make these decisions daily maybe right now, not as difficult as those made by Grug but I make decisions none-the-less. The decisions are sometimes filled with fears and doubt of what the outcome may be but they are always made with the best intentions at heart.  

I know that one day as my children you will probably “hate me” for not allowing you to go out and do some random activity with your friends  but trust me “es por tu bien”. And, I pray that when you achieve and accomplish you will be able to see the light and understand why as parents we make the choices that we make.

I love you so intensely everyday more and more!

Love, 

Momma

Picture Credit; Obtained from http://www.fanpop.com/

Raising Bi-Cultural Children {Toddlers Mexicanos}

I think that when most people think of Bi-Cultural children you look for them to have parents with two different races or nationalities. It's not the case in our home. Both my Husband and I are born and raised Texans. I was born in Brenham and he was born here in Houston. 

The difference is that both of us have parents that were born in Mexico and came to the U.S. many years ago to work. 

From September 15th thru October 15th Hispanics all over the U.S. celebrate Hispanic Heritage Month. http://hispanicheritagemonth.gov/ Being of Mexican descendant,  I not only celebrate U.S. holidays but I also celebrate many Mexican holidays. Such as, Mexico's Independence day which is September 16th, not to be confused with 5 de Mayo which is when Mexico won the Battle of Puebla. 

Here in Houston there are several places that you can go to help your children learn more about and celebrate the Hispanic culture. Places like the Houston Library have family friendly events that are free and open to the public, http://www.houstonlibrary.org/hhm-events . And, the Miller Outdoor Theater which has presentations such as Traditional Folkloric dance presentation called Mexicanisimo; http://milleroutdoortheatre.com/events/464/

There are also places that have events year round such as Talento Biligue de Houston http://www.talentobilingue.org/ and MECCA http://meca-houston.org/. Both places on the top of my list to visit in the next few months as the Day of Dead {El Dia de Los Muertos} approaches. 

I believe in embracing my roots and teaching my children to do the same; we celebrate a variety of holidays in our home which will help them learn not only about our America culture but also about our Mexican background.  

{Rodeo Houston} 2013

While the rest of the world is turning... Houston enjoys Rodeo! For 3 whole weeks the city if consumed by Cowboys, Horses and Concerts. Lots of fun Concerts. This year so far I have gone to see Lady Antebellum and Thursday, it was Bruno Mars!

One of my life long habits has been volunteering. In High School it was the library and nursing homes. In college it was well... just about anything from church to official governmental offices that helped people complete their INS forms to become Citizens. I have always loved helping. More so in those areas where my culture, my language {Spanish} and my passion would shine through!






In 2008, I was asked to become a part of a Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo Committee which provided daily tours to students and international visitors of the Rodeo... in particular those who spoke Spanish. I was added on to the roster of Bilingual Tours Committeemen and I won an award that year... Best Spanish Speaking Tour guide! Say What! Ha. I did. It was a fun committee. I loved, I mean LOVED it! More so hearing the Hispanic kids mostly Mexican kids tell me how their parents; owned horses and ate pigs! True story one little boy in particular gave me the run down as I gave his class a tour of the Ag-Venture livestock area... he told me that his Dad had goats and that he would kill them and eat them... {circle of life}, but amazingly as we went on this possible 2nd or 3rd grader went on to tell me how they also had pigs and how they also killed and ate those... when we got to the cows he said he Dad showed him to milk the cows just like the one I was telling his class about. When we got to the horses I said. "So, do you eat the horses too?"... and in a very Norteño accent he says to me in Spanish; "No'mbre! Esos los montamos!"And, as I pictured the little boy and his Dad, Vaqueros of the Houston area, riding away into the sunset and this little man being so full of agricultural knowledge and life long skills, I knew that my job as a volunteer with the Houston Rodeo....would be a fulfilling one!









I loved it and as the years go by I am excited to be a part of such an awesome Houston; lifestyle and tradition. I mean the days of riding off the farm in your horse and carriage into the city to work or conduct business are long gone, the Vaquero traditions live in this city very vividly for 3 weeks! Along with tradition, entertainment and Texas heritage the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo brings large groups into Houston from all over the world. I mean, I have met many Mexican Cowboys and European Cowboys as well as people from Japan and many parts of the U.S. Who come specifically to see what the Houston Rodeo is all about. There is also the matter of money raising for not only local kids but Texas High School students to obtain not only agricultural skills but also scholarships to go to college. My current committee raised over 6 Million this year alone!





It's definitely an organization that I am very proud of and enjoy participating with. And, all of the above mentioned are the kind of Texas and Mexican culture that we want to instill in our Children. Volunteer work, Heritage and yearly traditions!

I used to be in LOVE with Mexico and every year thought that NOTHING could ever compare to my Mexico lindo y querido! But, as I grow older and learn to enjoy local Texas cities and traditions I know that Mexico is beautiful, but  Houston and Texas has a lot to offer a family who wants to have well-rounded and locally educated children! Don't get me wrong... one day I hope to be able to travel to Mexico to show my children the cities where their Grand-parents were born and where I grew up {Cuernavaca & Reynosa} but for now... we will have to settle for local grounds!


YOU CAN SEE LAST YEARS EPIC FAIL ::HERE:: 


And, a THANK YOU to Xenia from Raised by Culture...for helping me gain some perspective and inspiration... 

Sometimes we don't realize our own potential until someone opens your eyes... 

{Children} #stoptheviolence #prayer

Speaking life, truth and positivity into my children's lives is so important to me.

In the midst of the horrible tragedy on Friday morning in CT, all I could think about is my kids. My home. This is where the teaching begins. Right now my kids are little, they are overactive and they are, well, kids filled with tantrums and outburst. My Husband and I are fairly new at this but we have attempted to take on a different approach with every tantrum. Out of frustration in the past I have had different reactions, these days I realize that if I keep cool, calm and collected {my Husband usually is} then my children will listen to me better. In return I pray that they too are learning that reacting in a cool, calm and collected way is the way to approach most situations in life. To keep a level head and to stay positive with your words and your actions.

The teaching, I know, begins at home. It's what my mind kept telling me on Friday morning and throughout the day. Respect. Respect those around you, especially your elders as long as they never harm you physically. In which case it is OK, to tell them to stop and leave you alone and to tell Momma and Daddy about it. {We are teaching my kids who is allowed in their personal space, it's a must!}

My Husband and I have vowed to stay on the same terms with every situation. If he says no, I say no. If he says it's ok then I say it's ok, all within reason. With every situation we attempt to understand and explain to my son and daughter and be reasonable with them, because even at a young age, they are more than absorbing everything we say, do and how we react. We've learned that the hard way... i.e. curse words.

Sometimes though, I do feel that even though the parents of some of these people who commit horrific acts are as cool, calm and collected and attempt to vocalize their concerns with their children, there comes a point when actions and words become something faint and these troubled men and women, will do what they want regardless. I know the importance of speaking up, speaking to my children about every aspect of their lives because my Momma did that with us and she still does. No matter how uncomfortable the conversation got my Momma never let me leave the room feeling confused or with doubts. And, I always knew how much she loved me and that every action she took was for my benefit and because she loved me! Even to this day. 

We will attempt to capture their minds and dig deep into their hearts to open up about life, outcomes and staying healthy not only physically but mentally as well, but what happens when these kids do what they want anyway. Have we failed? Where have we failed?

All, I know is that I vow to not only pray boldly for my children on a daily basis but to show up in a bold manner in their lives and in ever single aspect of their lives. My children are my world and I don't want them to harm or be harmed.

Prayer. Counseling. Respect.

::Dear God, Teach me to be the parent my children need in their lives and to allow them to grow with each experience as I guide them through life and you guide our families and community. I pray that you protect my children, keep them safe and shield them from harm. I know that life is filled with failures, doubt and disappointments but PLEASE dear Lord, teach my children that there is hope, a shinning light and Your Love NO MATTER WHAT or how many times they fall, and that You and us as their parents will be there to help them get back up and on track! Allow my children to see the good in people but to be cautious of evil that surrounds us on a daily basis, never to be blinded by ignorance, never to be so naive that they don't sense danger or people who want to take advantage of them, and to always be aware that Jesus is the way and the path to take when in doubt. I pray, in Jesus name. Amen. Thank You, Lord!::

{On Potty Training}

Seriously. As an adult. As a Blogger. I often struggle with stopping what I am doing and render to nature calling. Ha. It's true. When I get into something I don't want to stop typing, thinking, reading or doing.

Then I think of my 3 year old son. He is 3. He is technically still a baby. To me at least. I know that there are milestones that he must reach in order to function in society and that once those milestones are reached it's a pretty good indication of self-control, growth and they come with an increased sense of self and confidence. But, in all honesty. My Santi is an amazing little boy. I don't ever want to rush him into growing up so fast.

Trust me, I am not going to forever hold him in my arms and cradle him to sleep, shoot he was too big for that at 8 months much less at 3 years old. I say...dale tiempo al tiempo. He will and has reached all his important milestones...a su tiempo. It took me years to get pregnant and at 31, I am not sure that I will be able to have more children so there is no need for me to rush the ones I have out of being babies into more of little adult, than they already are... I think.

Now my son doesn't just walk around peeing and pooping everywhere. He does an awesome job at daycare with his potty breaks and at home too. Sometimes he forgets and stops in the middle of a task and just doesn't make it to the potty or simply...doesn't want to. Trust me, it's not like we totally let it go. We are not that out of range. We do let him know that he should let us know when he has to go so we can help him and that he should go to the potty and not in his pants but we do give him a break and he does wear pull-ups, more times than not while at home.

Am I a horrible Momma for not pushing him as much as I "should"? Or as much as I feel other Momma's push their kids?

I mean trust me. When he becomes a freshman in High School he will start filling out college applications and decide to take his SAT early so that he can qualify for scholarships and internships. Then, I feel that pushing will be in order. For now I want him to enjoy playing with his toys and watching his favorite movies.

By the way . I feel the same about him still drinking his milk from a bottle, only when he is ready for bed. And, about my Cami being 19 months and still having a binkie {or paci} yup.  ::gasp:: I know. I am awful.

My Mother tells the story about how I used to come home from pre-school to drink my bottle while my Sister who was 2 had already left hers. And, I graduate the top of my High School class, with Honors, was accepted to 3 major colleges and received scholarships to 2 schools. I then graduated college and have always been very hard working and dedicated in my jobs. I have always been very independent and had my first job as a junior in High School to help my parents pay bills. I got married and had my children well into my 20's and my parents didn't push me as a baby but as a young adult they sure did.

All, I am saying is that it's a lot of work to grow up and out of your baby habits and can be pretty tough for a 3 year old to take it all in and make it all work out in his favor...heck as a 31 year old Momma I still have trouble making it all work!

I know this may sound a bit like a rant but they are my true feelings.

{Patience} ♥

I have this son. He is 3 years old. 

He's more than a Blessing...at times he is my teacher. 

I am very impatient. Very. Not good. Trust me. I know. 

He is just like me. 

Everything NOW. Not later. 

But, some days he teaches me that patience is the only way. 

I have caught him several times now, waiting on me. 

{It's usually to hit play on the DVD or computer screen to get his favorite movie going.} 

The same boy that I just told 20 times to stop, wait and not touch. 

He sits and waits. 

Quietly. 

Patiently. 

Because he knows. 

That if he waits just long enough for me. 

I will come to his rescue. 

Every time. 

If only. 

I had that same patience. 

To wait. To endure. To sit quietly. To be patient! 

I would know that at the end of the wait...there is reward... 

that which  you have asked for comes with patience. 

It's what I have learned from my 3 year old son..

he is wise beyond his years and my little man.  

As an adult. 

It's easier said than done...

I love him for being a great teacher... 

{Isaiah 40:31} Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary.

Epic Fail.

Yes, it's what I thought after my Husband circled the HLS&Rodeo grounds for the millionth time... no joke. How people/parents leave their homes with a 2 1/2 year old and a One year old is beyond me. I admire you strong women and men of faith in your ability to be or become some kind of a Super Hero for a day!  

I really do.

We went to the rodeo. We were totally OVER the rodeo about 5 minutes before we ever got off the car and then we went home.

We felt like everyone was watching the chaos as it walked passed them. We got on one ride and saw about 2 and half animals. The kids were not having the long lines and the whole...lets wait for an hour to see a cow chew on hay while it lays on the ground and stares at the wall. Go figure.

It was not a good day and for about a minute we thought about sitting and crying but then we got through it and realized that there are some events, places or situations that you just shouldn't bring into the life of a clueless 2 1/2 year old and One year old, like taking them to really expensive over-rated adult like events, like the uhm Rodeo or Monster Jam. We, I hope, have learned our lesson and will only ever attend events that clearly state how kid friendly they truly are. But, in the end we thought about it all and laughed it off, slept for about 15 hours and thought about what we may do next weekend. Ha. We will never learn...

Here are some pictures from that lovely day..... it was lovely nonetheless!

The Vocabulary Game

The Pediatrician gave Santi until January to speak. Literally. He has words, now some phrases but more than half the time I get that blank stare of "Mom, don't you know what I'm saying?" the sad truth is that, I don't know what Santi is saying half the time. It result in total frustration. I end up sad cause I am a horrible Momma..or so I think. He ends up frustrated because he knows what he is trying to tell me but I have no clue.

He has many words, and phrases most of which I know. The few that remain an enigma are the ones that I just wish I had a baby translator for. Santi is to our impression fully bilingual at this point. We speak to him in English at home and with his Grandmother{ who cares for him Monday thru Friday 7am to 7pm} he speaks only Spanish. It's what we wanted for him, so him staying at home with her and now Cami has been more than a Blessing. We want Santi to be fully bilingual but not sure how much that is really affecting him when it comes to getting the words across.

I am trying everyday more and more to hold full conversations with him. We read together. He is more than fully engaged and really surprises us most days when he seems to be responding and answering our questions.

My Husband and I have gotten in the habit of asking him how his day went, what he did and who he was with all the day. He does pretty well but January is around the corner and I don't know what else to do for him..when time is of the essence.

My next step is labeling and flashcards. We shall see....

Any thoughts or suggestions?

Potty Trauma

So, the topic of choice tonight is POOP. Yea. I said it. Caca. And, also number 1! Ha.

Lil'Man is 2 years and 2 months. Around the time when Cami was born {7 1/2 months ago} everyone started asking me about potty training. Being that I now work over 12 hours a day, outside my home and that my Mother-in-Law who not only watches my TWO crazy little ones but also my Hubby's Grandmother who is a Dialysis patient; it has NOT been handled. I just don't feel like we should be that pushy about it. The kid sees a toilet and has a panic attack...I don't think it's worth the trauma... at least not now.

I know that it would save us a ton on insurance.... no wait... that can't be right....I'm tired... it's late... but yes..money saving. On diapers. It would save us some good moola on diapers. But, honestly. Not just cause I am a zombie half the time but cause I really do believe in.... dale tiempo al tiempo. It will come. No one likes to be rushed. We all learn at different paces and we all learn within due time...from life and experience. Santi is TWO, has a good way to go before he can realize that he must go on the potty in order to normally function within social adult settings...but again.. he is TWO! He will one day ask to sit on the potty and just do what is natural to most, poop on the toilet. Too raw? Again it's late. Sleep deprived. Momma of Dos...etc etc. Ha.

What are your thoughts? I don't want to push my son to learn one more thing. He counts to 10, reads to Cami all day, sings the alphabet kinda, can name all his facial features, runs around all day, invests his time in movies, jumps on beds, empties baby powder containers, eats, sleeps and punches his Grandmother when he's wants...I think he has a full day as it is! Why should I push him..to..do..one..more..thing... I feel like it will come..and when it does, we will all smile and say..."Great job Lil'Man!" Hugs and kisses will probably be in order and as adults we will be left with thoughts as to why we don't get proper appreciation when we use the potty. No? Ok, maybe not but you get my point.

It is what it is...it will come. He will conquer the day he can poop on the potty and all the universe will be at ease that one more diaper will not go onto some landfill to decompose after a ba-zilliion years...

I know it's probably important for Santi to start potty training but seriously...is it something that I should be that pushy about, right now?

Discipline Oyiii!

I know that I am a new Momma and all, I am probably only just scratching at the surface of what Motherhood, Discipline and having children entails but I am going to dare to give it a whirl. I think though that my Husband and I having children "later" in life {for us Mexican}, was for a good reason. We both believe and know that we will certainly lead by example. Yes, we are all human and yes even at 30 {"a much wiser age"} I continue to make mistakes but if there is something that I have learned is that these mistakes are made for learning and for growth.

Ricardo and I have both established that we should always agree on discipline and should never argue it's validity in front of our children. If Ricardo or myself are in the middle of discipline {yes, with our TWO year old} we support one another. We are yet to find a good balance in tone or firmness of it all but we never undermine one another or favor Santi's tantrum over our decision to act upon his actions. This is where questions arise. Yes, we more times than not agree that Santi needs structure, rules and at times stern reminders of what is right and what is wrong but our tactics are not always effective. He has a very strong personality and can dominate most situations. It's been a true challenge to find the "correct" or most effective type of discipline for his age and for his actions.

We started with "time out" around the time of Cami's arrival. We suspected some sibling jealously or rivalry if you will. But, as time passed and we realized that he was over powering other children and hitting his cousin who is a bit smaller than him in size, then we were faced with a new challenge. Added firmness to our discipline strategies. At times, yes, that means, the "s" WORD. Spanking. And, raising our voice more than once to get his attention. Which then led to empty threats of getting a belt but never really having the heart to do so which then all became a funny situation as he realized that we were really not being as "stern" as we thought we were. He would mimic our actions and mock the "pow-pow" motions with his hands. We couldn't help but laugh as he returned the waving of the pointer finger for him to behave and the gibberish that came out of his mouth was just as irrelevant as the words that were coming out of mine.

Now, almost 8 months after the arrival of his little sister; countless tears on Cami's part, frustration on our part, tears on Santi's part, and at times mine, we are back at square one. Ricardo tries but working 8 hours and going to school until 10pm, results in excuses of being tired. Don't get me wrong, I have the same excuse. I am too tired to make our little man see how bad he is being. Therefore,still, no resolution to Santi's "bad behavior".

When we took him to his two year check up the doctor blamed his "Terrible Two's" but honestly I think Santi knows; A. that he is being bad and can get away with it and B. that at times...we give up... 

Now we are here..."those parents" with "that child"... and I really don't think I like it. Just this past weekend a dinner turned into a lecture about the fact that we allow Santi to get away with more than he should and how if we don't get a hold of him now he may end up in jail. I feel horrible. I want to seek help and read up on what the professional have to say. I know that a big part has to be a really good effort on our part. But, we really don't believe in spanking and time out isn't working. We are not sure if taking things from him or not giving him "treats" will work because I really don't think he cares if we tell him he can't watch TV or that he won't get ice cream after dinner, ya' know?

What is this Momma to do? Any advice? Any good books?

AS A MOTHER....

All we can do...

...is try!

Yes. It's true.

That's how it is in Marriage. You TRY and work at it.

That's how it is at a job. You TRY and work at it.

That's how it is in life. You TRY and  work at it.

So, when it comes to how I see parenting and the future {and current} upbringing of my children...YOU TRY AND WORK AT IT.

I haven't been a parent long, but I have parents. And, like many of us, they are human. They've made mistakes. And, as chronic observers, Ricardo and I note things and situations that we know we don't want to repeat in our children's upbringing and you know what...we TRY and work at it. Everyday. Together.

From what I have lived the last TWO years, I know it's difficult. To be all that God wants me to be. I fall back on Proverbs 31 and think...REALLY? And then think; well she did it, why can't I! And, so I try. Everyday. As I do with my Marriage. Never giving up. Always looking UP towards God for daily guidance and never slowing down! I figure to keep one step ahead of my kids I have to be floating on air!

I see other Momma's and think "wow.", "WOW!", "really?", "hmmmm" , "maybe I can try this instead?", and then think about it all and take it all in. At the end of the day, ONLY God knows the challenges, the accomplishments, the sacrifices, the journey that He has chosen for me as a Mother.

Only with Him, thru Him and for Him...can I prosper as a Mother.

There are so many things that as a young "Traditional Mexican Mother" born and raised in the U.S., I would like to instill in my children. For one, our Faith. Prayer. Alone time with God. Knowing that you don't ever have to be a people follower if you are a Jesus follower . That as a Momma, I will always be here for them but that they also need to learn to stand on their own TWO feet for when I can't physically be there. I want to teach them SPANISH. It's so important to me for them to know their roots, Mexico is such a beautiful place, amidst the current turmoil, it is rich in scenery and culture. I want my daughter to have a traditional Quinceñera. That, I think has been lost in recent years. I want my son to be a gentleman; independent, caring, loving, strong, courteous, hardworking, and dedicated. I want my daughter to know that she doesn't need a man in her life to make her feel loved, accepted and supported. But, only God can help me and ONLY He knows how much of this will reach their little growing hearts. {It tugs at mine everyday....}

I pray. That it will. 

All, I can do is try. 

I know it's an everyday struggle to be a Mother. But, you know what I am here, I have been called to this place and I have accepted my mission....and trust me, I will not just TRY. I will give it 110% to get things done.   

I also have an amazing group of Momma friends as support, to go to for further advice and counseling.

I will try and only God can pick me back up if I fail...

Mexican Baby's Diet {No, en serio...}

This weekend I got an idea for a post as I fed my Lil'Momma...

I wrote something about it HERE. But, not sure if I have ever expanded on it.

So, we know that I am Mexican. Mi familia es Mexicana. Mis hijos son..pues MEXICANOS! {HA.}

No fighting it...

Here is proof:

Therefore...it's true that you ARE what you EAT.

We are Mexican..so we eat Mexican..not people..the food! {Hehe...a little Mexican humor!}

Ever since my son started eating "solids"..more like "mushies"... he has been eating Mexican food or homemade food. {Pozole, Caldo de Res, Arroz con Frijoles negros, Bolillos, Tortillas con sal, Crema y queso fresco, Sopes, Elote en vaso, Barbacoa, Sopa de fideo con platano, Carne Asada, etc etc..yes most is not that good for you but homemade it's a little better than store bought.} We have made it a point not to make our children into fast food or processed food kids....in a PERFECT world that would have completely happened...don't get me wrong.... My kids do eat healthy homemade meals but EVERY once in a while..Momma is tired and Daddy gets home late, so those nights we allow not only ourselves but our kids as well to eat processed foods...more so than fast food.

We have planned meals most weeks and on days when things don't go as planned we make things like:

Frozen Pizza{Usually DiGiorno..it's pretty good} , Mac'n'Cheese {Classic favorite, sometimes I use the box and others, I make my own..just pasta shells and Velveeta cheese, super easy} and Instant soups {Spicy ones for us and non-spicy for the kids}....

These are actually pretty good {They have several flavors and there are other brands} :

One of the most used processed food in our home is BEANS. {Duh.} This brand is actually pretty good:

 
As for fresh fruits and veggies....

We eat them all!

Some of my son's favs are:

Watermelon, Bananas, Blueberries, Cherries, Apples, Peaches, Pears, Pineapples, Melon, Platano Macho and Grapes.

He will eat just about any Vegetable; Carrots, Chayote, Sweet Potato, Cucumbers, Lettuce, Broccoli, Cauliflower, you name he loves it. Raw or cooked! With Italian dress or without! He also loves Lemons and Limes!

When he was little I simply boiled or baked {baked it better!} and then mashed them up and gave them to him...NO SALT. NO EXTRA CONDIMENTS. Just the veggie or fruit.

I didn't take any pictures of the food. But, I love making them all for Santi and now for Cami!

Also, Santiago also loves CHEESE and Yogurt! LOTS! It's another thing we got him used to since he was a baby...but he loves Doritos and Kool-Aid the same....so who know what he will be like in the future; I do know that he will NOT eat chicken nuggets or hamburgers from any fast food restaurant and he will NOT eat any type of canned pasta! He definitely knows the difference and that was what we wanted to get at when we started him on "mushies".

He also loves fries but we limit them from fast food places and bake our own instead. He has only been inside of a  McDonald's once and once to Chuck-e-Cheese. We don't want to totally deprive him of the world but we want him to know that he has options and that home cooking for the most part is cheaper and better for you.

We also limit sodas, sweets and too much bread or tortillas. We cook most meals with Extra Virgin Olive Oil {Or as Rachel R. like to call it..the good'ole EVOO} and we try not to fry to much, our oven is used often and we cook as a family! {Clean up is all Momma's! HA.} 

On top of that both of my kids are super active...Santi could spends days at the park and never get tired!


And, we drink lots of water and don't go a single day without it...


And trust me, we do eat junk food but try REALLY hard not to! We try to be as healthy and active as our busy Momma and Daddy lives allow us to.....


Is your baby a Mexican baby?

{Again, I receive NO compensation what so ever for any type of product advertisement.}

The Normal Things.

I grew up in a "normal" family. 

Until I "grew up" and realized my family wasn't "normal" at all. 

Someone was always living with us; whether it was a Grandmother, an Aunt, an Uncle, a Cousin, or that family friend you called an Uncle or a Cousin or an Aunt...or a Grandmother. Thinking back on it. My family was far from normal, as most Hispanic families, in our culture we don't believe in putting people out. We'd rather cram into a 2 bedroom apartment as long as the "family" sticks together. Not to mention, my parents have never owned a home and to this day, they rent.

As for schedules, forget about it. My mom worked, cleaning houses, still does, crazy amount of hours. My dad, was, is a contractor, has worked crazy schedules all his life. My siblings and I used to walk home from school almost everyday. Something that these days, terrifies me to think that my children would at 10,7, and 5 {that's how old my sister and brother were when we walked home from school} walk home alone.  This world is so dangerous, I know that now. My parents were young, naive, too busy, new to the USA, call it what you want..these days...my husband and I think back at how our parents raised us. It was far from normal and at times dangerous. 

We survived with somewhat minimal trauma and mildly bad memories. I guess. 

My parents have never been perfect and neither has their relationship. I grew up, beside my parents; as they too lived, learned and made mistakes. 

So, when I was younger I decided that I would do what was "normal". I run towards normalizes.

I graduated High School, went to college and graduated, married my college sweet-heart, we bought a small home in the suburbs, 3 years after being married we had our fist child and now at almost 5 years of marriage we have 2 beautiful children. Normal? Right? 

I mean. Our schedules are awful, I am not a stay at home mom and my husband is still in college and is an intern but our life is seemingly average and normal. I like that. I seek it. 

I want my children to grow up, in that true American dream household; I mean that's why my parents came here in the 80's. 

I say it everyday we are NOT perfect but we Love one another and I know that "normal" or not, our little family of 4 has survived, we have made it so far and I pray that we make it a great distance more!

{This topic came up as a result of an article in Parenting Magazine which discussed how families these days are not the "average American" household; where the family of 4 has a father who works and mom who stays home. But, that's what I am after... to be average and normal, it's the new different! }

{My Little Family of Four}