What we allow...

It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. 

Actions are cruel. Words are harsh. But, probably more so than that.... thoughts can be devastating. 

We allow peoples' words and actions towards us to weigh us down. To cause us pain. To remind us that the past exists and that we can't change it.  

I don't know about you but this icky feeling of sorrow. I allow it to bring me down. Yes, I do. I am human. Allowing things to happen is normal. 

The trick is to remember that our Blessings, our strengths, and our new beginnings are much bigger than our past and it's pain. That sometimes people like to hurt you because of their own ill twisted pain. Who knows if they do it intentionally or not. But, life goes on. We need to not only put those thoughts behind us but overcome them. 

We are not what those words tell us we are. We are better than that...we are far more Blessed. And, yes...life does go on. It's not perfect but it's worth living for. 

We cannot allow hurtful words and the past to take over our thoughts, it ruins your mind and heart. 

Today, I am sitting in the peace and love that my children bring into my life, focusing on what I am, what I have accomplished, what I have (not materialistically) but as a person...as a Woman. I am a Mother.  I am educated. I work hard day in and day out. I have beautiful girlfriends who surround me daily. I have a family that has been through so much and still we are standing. I have a Sister who has always been my best friend. 

I am who I say I am, not what others what we me to feel I am. 

I am not perfect, or the most beautiful or the smartest but I work hard for the life I have created. I don't have it all but I am a person who respects others and is loyal and faithful. As well as faith-filled. 

This too, shall pass....

{Es Viernes!!!} Joy is comin' in the morning!

{My Husband just advised me not to write in Spanish here..to create a whole new Blog?! A fellow Coog Blogger...YES I had to go there..Ha. I am sitting at UH in the computer lab tonight and YES I am a proud COOG HA, it's late, I'm delirious. Anyway a fellow Coog Blogger, also told me to think about it before I actually went through with it....I am stuck! Input please...but in the mean time....}

 
Finalmente! 

Es Viernes!!! 

Gracias A Dios!!!

Ha sido una semana larguísima! Me eh sentido muy mal y los días se me hacen eternos...así que, saber que mañana es Sábado y que no me tengo que despertar temprano me hace sentir feliz!!!

Mi esposo ha estado súper ocupado con la escuela, son las 9:21pm, y todavía estamos en la universidad tratando de terminar su "speech" acerca del DREAM Act para mañana. Le toco estar en contra. Se nos ha hecho un “poco” difícil pero creo que va estar preparado para su presentación. 

Mis hijos están en casa de su Abuela, y los extrañamos tanto que al escribir esto, se me hace un nudo en la garganta! Espero que cuando vayamos por ellos estén dormido...PERO...creo que los vamos a despertar… Solo para verlos un ratito!!! 

In all it's been a hectic week...time disappears and sorrows seem to fade. The pain is still there {we MISS my Aunt beyond belief} please keep my family from Detroit in your prayers. They are experiencing the grief that I can't begin to imagine. 

Buen fin. Hasta mañana! 

To find my "NITCH"....or Not?

As you all may remember I was on maternity leave not too long ago....a week ago to be exact...

During those 8 weeks, I was able to have a dream come true, although short-lived, it was much needed and definitely appreciated and taken advantage of!

I was indeed a STAY-AT-HOME MOMMA (or SAHM)! And, was totally rocking at it, if I may say so myself! (Toot-toot, Ha. Ha.)

Then....as I mentioned before...

Life tends to happen and my little hot pink fluffy magic rug was pulled from under my big hope-filled feet (yes, my feet have hopes too! ha.) ...and I totally missed the pillow (meaning my feelings hit the pavement)...Eeeeek.

During those 8 weeks, I developed and almost fully mastered....being a Crafty Momma...and you know what? I loved it.

I was creating, and following through with my endless possibilities. I loved it.

But, I know there are plans that I can make..but they are not for me to control. {Trust me, this is NOT  a complaint post....trust me.}

Well during my first week back at work, I remembered that place I had been in not too long ago.

A place where I dreamed of being a corporate Momma with an outside the home job and pant suits [ YES, PANT SUITS! If I had that kind of fun, lunch meeting, corporate type job and the money to buy me some cute pant suits! {Ha.}] None the less, I was there. That place where I didn't mind being that 9 to 5 Mom that works and runs home to be a Mom and Wife to a busy afternoon family.

Then, those 8 weeks came, and for a short time, everything was perfect. I was THAT Momma in that OTHER place, that hides deep in the back of my silly little heart....the Full-Time, Stay-at-Home-Momma, with the fun and lovable and most adorable children, who cleans, cooks, reads, watches "The Talk" at 1pm and Oprah at 4pm [before she decided to leave TV!].

AND YES...WHO CREATES....

Who shines at being a MOM! 

Who LOVES being a WIFE.

That Mom that after 8 weeks of chaos thinks, yes...let me take on just a bit more....I don't have an outside the home job..I think I can handle it. 

But, then.... THIS place comes back. The place where responsibility reigns, and food needs to be put on the table, where I want to take my kids to the zoo, museum, and circus without having to really deal with a budget. This place where I have to wake up, get dressed, pull my kids out of bed and get them ready for another set of arms to hold, to love and to care for.

It's hard. I yearn. I hurt. I envy. I cry. I think...no one knows my pain.... 

And, after the pain subdues..I search...for THAT place again. 

That's where I am...

Seeking... 

{My heart hurts at the thought of my children not being around me all day.... ::deep sigh::}

But, I know.

That THIS place...has a purpose...a reason... a season...a time...